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Dear Santa

It’s that time of year when many are sending letters to that jolly old elf. Here’s mine:

Dear Santa,

Could you please bring me a complete answer to my Freedom of Information Act request? I would also like a Chia Obama.

Your faithful believer,
Dr. Conspiracy

PS: I could use a new ass too. This one has been pretty badly chewed on.

What Obama Conspiracy gift would you like Santa to bring you?

23 Responses to Dear Santa

  1. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy December 13, 2010 at 10:36 am #

    Another thoughtful gift for that special Obot is the “What Would Obama Do?” answer card. There is also a version for Tea Party / Birthers.

  2. avatar
    BatGuano December 13, 2010 at 12:41 pm #

    i’d like santa to bring me more birther rallies. nothing spreads joy faster than 12 bitter people and a chubby fella in half a capt america costume.

  3. avatar
    J. Edward Tremlett December 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    12 dumb-asses deported
    11 pundits silenced
    10 lawsuits thrown out
    9 liars exposed
    8 convicted forgers
    7 summons ignored
    6 subpoenas laughed at
    5 gooooooooooooold ….. ringsssssss (“let me finish!”)
    4 perjurers imprisoned
    3 Kenyan BCs
    2 tell-all books
    and Joseph Farah sued for libel

  4. avatar
    Black Lion December 13, 2010 at 2:45 pm #

    I would like Santa to have the seditious posters and the harp playing editor of the Post and Fail actually have to be responsible for the crap they write….

    Their newest contribution to the birther cesspool…

    “It is hard to believe that the courageous men and women of our military are simply standing by idle when this longstanding series of direct attacks against them is carried out by members of the 111th Congress and the illicit Obama regime, attacks orchestrated in various forms of legislation and election abuses. Even more disturbing is the apparent lack of support among the senior officers.

    –DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL
    –Col. Terry Lakin
    –Deprived of voting rights
    –Unjust persecution of military personnel on duty
    –Deprived of protection under the Geneva Convention
    Conspicuous by his absence in defending his troops…at least in my opinion, Admiral Mullen, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They all seem to have turned their backs on those for whom they are responsible. While not knowing this for certain, I get the sense the troops are very disappointed in the recent turn of events.

    Is it not bad enough that all of you, members of the 111th Congress, have permitted an illegal alien to invade the White House, subvert the government and now proceed to ruthlessly attack our valiant troops.

    –Is it not bad enough that the same regime has seen fit to attack the Pendleton 8?
    –Is it not bad enough that the same group of people has seen fit to attack our Navy Seals?
    –Is it not bad enough that the same cadre has seen fit to attack the Leavenworth 10?
    –Is it not bad enough that the same criminals demean our American heroes?
    –Is it no bad enough that those in the field of battle do not have the legal protection afforded them by the Geneva Convention because none of you, in Congress, or any members within the military chain of command know for certain that the usurper is legally eligible to act as the commander-in-chief?
    As members of Congress, each of you must answer the following questions:

    –Why does this regime continue to launch deplorable attacks on these honorable military personnel?
    –Are they the ones still perceived as loyal to the Constitution?
    –Are they the only ones who might be seen to protect the rights of the people?
    –Are they the only ones who might maintain the rule of law?
    –Is there any real justice left in America?
    Do you suppose Obama is deliberately seeking to demoralize those who might just stand between his accomplishing his dictatorial plans and those who might offer credible resistance, resistance by the same people who brought about the slap in his face in November of 2010? Let me ask you to hold that thought while I address another issue of grave concern.

    I see two points of view when looking at the way the matter of Col. Lakin is being handled. First, this matter must be resolved just from the perspective of doing things the right way because it is the right thing to do. Secondly, if our government is so corrupt that they can treat Col. Lakin as a political prisoner and treat him in this manner, it can do the same to any of us!

    Has the time come to lock and load?

    Should the behavior of the government continue on the path of injustice and the likelihood of incarceration of Lakin increase, should we not also expect the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Congress to join Col. Lakin at Leavenworth until this is decided? After all, had they done the right thing, we all would not be in this position now, would we?

    http://www.thepostemail.com/2010/12/11/this-is-your-crisis-of-the-making/

    michaelsr says:
    Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 4:30 PM
    With the guts Adm. Mullen has exhibited since he became the JCS chief water carrier for the illegal alien in the WH, I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that he even made Ensign. When his trial comes up, it should be interesting to watch how he squirms at the Defendant’s table and how he tries to weasel out of violating his oath.

    Bob1939 says:
    Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 4:01 PM
    A great article Arnie Rosner; says it all exactly as it is, and I sure hope the folks are listening. In addition to what you have so clearly articulated, I just wonder how each one of us would feel if someone said that you are guilty of a felony, and that we are going drag you into court and prove it, but at the same time we are not going to allow you to defend yourself, nor can you produce any evidence that might embarrass us or prove the court wrong. What-in-hell is this?, that is now happening to our Brave Hero Col. Lakin, and America. Are we so stupid that we are going to sit-idly-by, doing nothing while these comie-jihadists take over our Country? I agree 100% with all that Arnie said, and especially the part where Mullen or someone in the Military, (while they still have any authority left), should “storm the hearing and arrest the judge and the other senior officers involved in what up to this point I can only describe as a travesty of American justice”. That would be the proper thing to do, instead of their aiding and abetting criminal activity in high places, and it would also be a fitting start to a quite revolution whereby we restore our Constitution, and replace every conniving-corrupt politician and judge, no-matter their party affiliation, or his or her powerful connections; and we could downsize government, and streamline the tax code all at the same. “Let the Revolution Begin, and God will certainly help us; we just have to find the faith within us, and a little backbone !!!”.

  5. avatar
    Black Lion December 13, 2010 at 3:06 pm #

    Doc, this video is really out there. It may warrant it’s own article. Basically we have Steve Pidgeon and the host “Dr. Hansen” mixing religion and the occult to explain the President. The ridiculous claims is that Obama is seeking occult powers and he is the “one leader” that is discussed in the book of revelations. Some scary stuff….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHAqfK75l6w&feature=player_embedded

    It is titled “the Statement for probable cause for high treason against Barack Obama”…

    “The case for probable cause of high treason against Barack Obama. This video was uploaded with permission from Dr. Jonathan Hansen. You can find more material and resources from Jonathan Hansen at http://www.worldministries.org

    NBC had a quick reference on his site….I guess Pammy Barnett was enamored with the video,..

    CPTPamelaBarnett

    This is a must see video… in addition to obama’s crimes see how obama has ushered in the occult to help his rise and stay in power. We must continue to pray for God’s intervention in saving the U.S

    OMG… These people are just plain scaring me… Steve Pidgeon, the lawyer who used to represent Walt in his TN case, has some fascinating fiction on our President. I am glad that he has found that his ‘valuable time’ was better spent on this rather than on defending Walt. Pam felt compelled to respond. Man these people deserve eachother.

    http://nativeborncitizen.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/pam-oh-pam/#comments

  6. avatar
    G December 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm #

    J. Edward Tremlett: 12 dumb-asses deported
    11 pundits silenced
    10 lawsuits thrown out
    9 liars exposed
    8 convicted forgers
    7 summons ignored
    6 subpoenas laughed at
    5 gooooooooooooold ….. ringsssssss (“let me finish!”)
    4 perjurers imprisoned
    3 Kenyan BCs
    2 tell-all books
    and Joseph Farah sued for libel

    LMAO! Good one.

  7. avatar
    G December 13, 2010 at 3:50 pm #

    Black Lion: Doc, this video is really out there. It may warrant it’s own article. Basically we have Steve Pidgeon and the host “Dr. Hansen” mixing religion and the occult to explain the President. The ridiculous claims is that Obama is seeking occult powers and he is the “one leader” that is discussed in the book of revelations. Some scary stuff….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHAqfK75l6w&feature=player_embedded

    *sigh* Well, not surprised by this nutty occult angle at all. I’ve been saying here and on other boards for the past two years that we’re going to start see the Armageddon nutters come out of the woodwork as we approach the 12/21/12 date and that these nutbags will increasingly move to attack the president as being the Anti-Christ and stuff.

    I can’t believe these folks actually buy into all that hocus-pocus garbage. Just sick and twisted and just gives them more opportunity to make up events out of whole cloth. Negotiation with Al-Qaeda in 2004 in Afghanistan for when he becomes president in the future….. W.T.F? How do they just invest crud like that and say it with a straight face?

  8. avatar
    Slartibartfast December 13, 2010 at 3:56 pm #

    Santa,

    I would like a shiny new birther law complete with a court decision defining natural born citizen (wails of birther anguish included). And some Legos – a model of mother and usupring mofo child with working TARDIS for surreptitious travel to Kenya.

    p.s. I think we should take up a collection to buy Doc an official ‘Miss Tickly Hawaiian Department of Health Seal Forgery Kit’.

  9. avatar
    Black Lion December 13, 2010 at 4:31 pm #

    G: *sigh* Well, not surprised by this nutty occult angle at all. I’ve been saying here and on other boards for the past two years that we’re going to start see the Armageddon nutters come out of the woodwork as we approach the 12/21/12 date and that these nutbags will increasingly move to attack the president as being the Anti-Christ and stuff.I can’t believe these folks actually buy into all that hocus-pocus garbage. Just sick and twisted and just gives them more opportunity to make up events out of whole cloth. Negotiation with Al-Qaeda in 2004 in Afghanistan for when he becomes president in the future….. W.T.F? How do they just invest crud like that and say it with a straight face?

    G, I have no clue. I mean the total disconnect to reality and the hatred you must have for the President in order to belive in this nonsense is astounding. And for Pidgeon to contribute to the nonsense was a bit of a surprise. I knew he was a hard core birther but when he started in on the biblical verses, I was shocked. Obama derangement really does a number on people…

  10. avatar
    Dr Kenneth Noisewater (Bob Ross) December 13, 2010 at 4:58 pm #

    G: *sigh* Well, not surprised by this nutty occult angle at all. I’ve been saying here and on other boards for the past two years that we’re going to start see the Armageddon nutters come out of the woodwork as we approach the 12/21/12 date and that these nutbags will increasingly move to attack the president as being the Anti-Christ and stuff.I can’t believe these folks actually buy into all that hocus-pocus garbage. Just sick and twisted and just gives them more opportunity to make up events out of whole cloth. Negotiation with Al-Qaeda in 2004 in Afghanistan for when he becomes president in the future….. W.T.F? How do they just invest crud like that and say it with a straight face?

    Are they saying that this whole election was really just Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? Is Obama going to go up to people and go “Kallimaaaaaa” and tear their hearts out?

  11. avatar
    G December 13, 2010 at 5:26 pm #

    Black Lion:
    G, I have no clue.I mean the total disconnect to reality and the hatred you must have for the President in order to belive in this nonsense is astounding.And for Pidgeon to contribute to the nonsense was a bit of a surprise.I knew he was a hard core birther but when he started in on the biblical verses, I was shocked.Obama derangement really does a number on people…

    All I can guess is that Pidgeon is one of these closet Armageddon End-Times folks … and all the hype around 2012 …

    I’ve been seeing a pattern over the past decade of those types fixating on that date more so that I’ve seen for Y2K or some of the prior “End Times” predictions in the past. I don’t know if it is because we now live in a more connected internet-based 24X7 info world where the additional exposure leads to broader consensus, or if the large fan base for the “Left Behind” serious contributed to it…or what…

    …but there seems to be an increasing amount of folks that seriously believe that the Book of Revelations is a literal prophecy account for our times and who are tying it to the Mayan Calendar date. I think all the TV & internet hype of claiming that I-ching and Nostradamus and other sources also pointed to 2012 is helping that fixation too.

    So…for people who take that stuff seriously – they totally have to believe in all sorts of mysticism for that to play out….

    And once you get into the realm of believing in mysticism…possibilities are no longer tied to the rational, the practical, nor the limitations of the rules of physics.

    So, no wonder their logic completely goes out the window and they believe more strongly in their imaginations and wild fantasy what-if conspiracy scenarios over facts and reality…

    Or maybe Bob Ross was on to something too… and they’ve just watched to many Indiana Jones, Hellboy and assorted disaster movies and have lost sight that those things are just entertaining works of fiction…

    Anyways, I suspect we’ll see a lot more of these closet End-Timers come out of the woodwork as we get closer to that 12/21/12 date… (Although I think there is some other crazy cult fellow calling for the end of the world in May of 2011 …I guess he was too eager to wait another 18 months…LOL!)

  12. avatar
    Slartibartfast December 13, 2010 at 5:36 pm #

    G: I’ve been seeing a pattern over the past decade of those types fixating on that date more so that I’ve seen for Y2K or some of the prior “End Times” predictions in the past. I don’t know if it is because we now live in a more connected internet-based 24X7 info world where the additional exposure leads to broader consensus, or if the large fan base for the “Left Behind” serious contributed to it…or what…

    I think that the declining sense of personal and national security is another significant factor in the rise of this trend. While rational people understand (as Jon Stewart said) that we live in hard times not end times, there are always those who need to believe that we are in end times because they can’t cope with the hard times. Ironically, in fighting President Obama and the Democrats, they have worked towards making the hard times harder (although, from their perspective, I guess they think they’re just hastening the rapture…)

  13. avatar
    Keith December 13, 2010 at 5:39 pm #

    For the complete guide to the apocolypse, I recommend the definitive documentary on ABC (Australian) TV Show “Sleek Geeks” Episode 4.

    http://www.abc.net.au/tv/sleekgeeks/stories/s2961267.htm

  14. avatar
    G December 13, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    Slartibartfast:
    I think that the declining sense of personal and national security is another significant factor in the rise of this trend.While rational people understand (as Jon Stewart said) that we live in hard times not end times, there are always those who need to believe that we are in end times because they can’t cope with the hard times.Ironically, in fighting President Obama and the Democrats, they have worked towards making the hard times harder (although, from their perspective, I guess they think they’re just hastening the rapture…)

    Points well taken.

  15. avatar
    James M December 13, 2010 at 7:26 pm #

    Most of the sites where I usually go to read entertaining birther posts are really quiet today. I guess all twelve birthers are on their way to Ft. Mead.

  16. avatar
    J. Edward Tremlett December 13, 2010 at 7:34 pm #

    Dr Kenneth Noisewater (Bob Ross):
    Are they saying that this whole election was really just Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?Is Obama going to go up to people and go “Kallimaaaaaa” and tear their hearts out?

    I think I saw Barack Obama emerging from a refrigerator after the last election…

  17. avatar
    ZixiOfIx December 13, 2010 at 9:12 pm #

    I’d like Santa to bring me the conviction of LTC Lakin. He was fine with serving under Obama stateside but suddenly had an issue when he was told to deploy. If it isn’t too much, I’d also like Santa to force those who call him a hero to reflect on the lie they are repeating.

    I live in a military town, surrounded by several bases. We have friends in the military, and everyone from enlisted men to high ranking officers in our family.

    It’s been many years since I’ve gone a week without reading about the deaths of men and women deployed from local bases who have died overseas. Meeting the families of fallen and wounded soldiers gives you a deep understanding of the word “sacrifice”.

    Those men and women are heroes.

    Lakin, who refused to go, negatively affecting his fellow soldiers with his selfish behaviour and causing another to face risks in his place is not a hero and deserves to be punished.

  18. avatar
    aarrgghh December 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    Keith: For the complete guide to the apocolypse, I recommend the definitive documentary on ABC (Australian) TV Show “Sleek Geeks” Episode 4.http://www.abc.net.au/tv/sleekgeeks/stories/s2961267.htm

    actually, for the definitive treatment of the apocalypse, you want to check out apocamon: the final judgment. there is no better.

  19. avatar
    aarrgghh December 13, 2010 at 10:48 pm #

    Black Lion (quoting birfer): “Are we so stupid that we are going to sit-idly-by, doing nothing while these comie-jihadists take over our Country?”

    why yes, you are that stupid, and (thankfully for the rest of us) sitting in your basement on your government-subsidized-cheetos-swollen-backside waiting to be rescued by some whackjob-wannabee-rambo-army is exactly what you’ll continue doing, just like any good little armchair revolutionary …

  20. avatar
    ellid December 14, 2010 at 7:49 am #

    I want to open up the Hartford Courant and see an article about Sharon Rondeau receiving a visit from the Secret Service.

  21. avatar
    StiggLarrsen December 14, 2010 at 9:20 am #

    ZixiOfIx: I’d like Santa to bring me the conviction of LTC Lakin. He was fine with serving under Obama stateside but suddenly had an issue when he was told to deploy. If it isn’t too much, I’d also like Santa to force those who call him a hero to reflect on the lie they are repeating.
    I live in a military town, surrounded by several bases. We have friends in the military, and everyone from enlisted men to high ranking officers in our family.
    It’s been many years since I’ve gone a week without reading about the deaths of men and women deployed from local bases who have died overseas. Meeting the families of fallen and wounded soldiers gives you a deep understanding of the word “sacrifice”.
    Those men and women are heroes.
    Lakin, who refused to go, negatively affecting his fellow soldiers with his selfish behaviour and causing another to face risks in his place is not a hero and deserves to be punished.

    I’m sure Santa will be the first to say, “Two wrongs make a right.”

  22. avatar
    J. Edward Tremlett December 14, 2010 at 12:46 pm #

    ZixiOfIx: I’d like Santa to bring me the conviction of LTC Lakin.

    Dude, that’s like wishing for snow in Alaska for Christmas.

    How about a nice pony with a jet engine in its butt and sidewinder missiles in its mouth? Santa likes a good challenge. 🙂

  23. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy December 15, 2010 at 11:08 pm #

    aarrgghh: actually, for the definitive treatment of the apocalypse, you want to check out apocamon: the final judgment. there is no better.

    I was always a fan of Bruce & Stan’s Guide to the End of the World: a user friendly approach.