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Doctor C goes to the zoo

I went to the National Zoo in Washington, DC, today, I said, to see the birthers. There are not, of course, any birthers literally on exhibit at the National Zoo — any birthers I saw would have been visitors.

However, I did ask a zoologist there what the difference was between a monkey and a birther, and she said without hesitation, monkeys have prehensile tails.

14 Responses to Doctor C goes to the zoo

  1. avatar
    Slartibartfast May 13, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    I’m glad that you had fun at the zoo (and learned something, too…). Are you going to convicted felon Lakin’s homecoming tomorrow? If so, how are you planning on fighting your way through the many ones of supporters that might possibly show up?

  2. avatar
    richCares May 13, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    “many ones of supporters ”
    There will be 300,000 supporters, all will arrrive in one mini van!

  3. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 13, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    Slartibartfast: Are you going to convicted felon Lakin’s homecoming tomorrow? If so, how are you planning on fighting your way through the many ones of supporters that might possibly show up?

    BWI is almost a 2 hour drive from where I am. I’m not afraid of the crush of supporters, but I am of the traffic. I think I’ll skip it, although it is tempting.

  4. avatar
    Daniel May 14, 2011 at 12:23 am #

    Dr. Conspiracy: BWI is almost a 2 hour drive from where I am. I’m not afraid of the crush of supporters, but I am of the traffic. I think I’ll skip it, although it is tempting.

    WEll I’m sure someone will take pictures of the crowds of supporters. After all, you wouldn’t need any special equipment, like a wide angle lens for instance.

  5. avatar
    Slartibartfast May 14, 2011 at 12:41 am #

    Daniel: WEll I’m sure someone will take pictures of the crowds of supporters. After all, you wouldn’t need any special equipment, like a wide angle lens for instance.

    What are you, crazy? It takes someone with specialized knowledge – like a technology expert (a professional, even) – to photograph crowds of that magnitude. Why there may even be several ones of people…

    Dr. Conspiracy: BWI is almost a 2 hour drive from where I am. I’m not afraid of the crush of supporters, but I am of the traffic. I think I’ll skip it, although it is tempting.

    Having once spent 4 or 5 hours on the beltway one afternoon, I understand completely.

  6. avatar
    misha May 14, 2011 at 12:47 am #

    richCares: There will be 300,000 supporters, all will arrrive in one mini van!

    You mean like this: http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/img/gacy_clown.jpg

  7. avatar
    misha May 14, 2011 at 12:49 am #

    “she said without hesitation, monkeys have prehensile tails”

    Only humans and lemurs have opposable thumbs. Coincidence?

  8. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny May 14, 2011 at 5:01 am #

    I suppose this belongs here.

    For the first timr in more than two weeks, Obama was not the main American item in the news overhere in Belgium (after the BC long form release, trumping Trump, having Osama killed, getting his grandmother targeted by Al Qaida) The main item today is Florida almost accidentally outlawing all sex with a law outlawing sex with animals.

    Forgetting that humans are animals too.

    As for that Larrikin who refused to take orders, never heard of him.

    Probably true of most Americans as well.

  9. avatar
    ASK Esq May 14, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Speaking on behalf of the MADL (Monkey Anti Defamation League), that zookeeper will be hearing from us as regards that horrendous slander.

  10. avatar
    Rev. Doc May 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    Light travels faster than sound. That is why you all seem intelligent until you open your mouths and speak. Are you all the simple sheeple being lead to slaughter? Open your Eyes, ans ears, and use that head of yours for something other than a hat rack. It appears you all have been brain washed into believing Communism, or as it is politically said “Socialism” is good. You would prefer the Government take care of you from cradle to grave , than to think and do for yourself. We have a Constitution that enables us Freedom, which I prefer to have instead of Government control. You “youngins'” have been taught a watered down version of History so that you are uninformed of the true history of the World and America, so you can be lead easier to the slaughter house of Communism. May I suggest you stop listening to the Lame Stream Liberal Media, and the Farse truths coming from our government, use that Damn brain of yours and think for yourself, and learn something the Bilderburger group don’t want you to know!

    [Please do not direct insulting comments towards other commenters here. If you do it again, I will delete your comment. Feel free to share your ideas so long as they are not personal attacks and they are relevant to conspiracy theories about Barack Obama. Doc.]

  11. avatar
    Scientist May 15, 2011 at 2:09 pm #

    I could go for a nice juicy Bilderburger right now, with tomatoes and onions and mustard and some crispy fries on the side with some mayonnaise…

    MMMM….

  12. avatar
    misha May 15, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    Rev. Doc: It appears you all have been brain washed into believing Communism, or as it is politically said “Socialism” is good.

    Normally, I do not reply to drivel. I was a kibbutznik. You do not know what communism is.

    You do not know the difference between communism and socialism.

    Social Security is pure socialism. Von Bismarck got the idea from Karl Marx, and Roosevelt made it law here. I challenge you to write to the SSA, and tell them you don’t want it anymore, and I challenge you to stop participating in Medicare, which is pure socialism.

    BTW, Michele Bachmann personally received $250K in farm subsidies. She did not refuse it. Google it, if you know how.

  13. avatar
    Arthur May 15, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    Dear Mr. Rev. Doctor:

    Unlike Misha, I enjoy responding to drivel, and I’ve chosen to reply to your inchoate musings in sections.

    “Light travels faster than sound. That is why you all seem intelligent until you open your mouths and speak.”

    As a matter of fact, no one on this site ever speaks. When we communicate, our words are broken down into binary code and then travel via an electromagnetic field at essentially the speed of light in a vacuum, approximately 300,000 metres per second.

    “Are you all the simple sheeple being lead to slaughter?”

    At this website, we like to remain true to biblical principles, and so we heed Isaiah’s prophetic words, All we like sheep have gone astray. Also, mares eat oats and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy.

    “Open your Eyes, ans ears, and use that head of yours for something other than a hat rack.”

    I don’t wear a hat. I feel it interferes with radiant energy of Obama’s brainwashing waves.

    “It appears you all have been brain washed into believing Communism, or as it is politically said “Socialism” is good. You would prefer the Government take care of you from cradle to grave , than to think and do for yourself.”

    Ah, cradle to grave care–sounds like being at a really excellent, all-inclusive hotel . . . like Sandals?

    “We have a Constitution that enables us Freedom, which I prefer to have instead of Government control. You “youngins’” have been taught a watered down version of History so that you are uninformed of the true history of the World and America, so you can be lead easier to the slaughter house of Communism.”

    Perhaps, but my communist overlords at least taught me to eschew run-on sentences and to follow basic rules of capitalization.

    “May I suggest you stop listening to the Lame Stream Liberal Media,”

    Lame-stream media! How very clever of you! In future posts, I hope you continue to employ such inventive and original phraseology.

    “and the Farse truths coming from our government, use that Damn brain of yours and think for yourself, and learn something the Bilderburger group don’t want you to know!”

    Sir, I’ll have you know that I’m not Persian and I don’t speak Farsi truths! And as for Build-er-Burger, I prefer Red Robin! Good day to you.

  14. avatar
    G May 15, 2011 at 6:41 pm #

    Rev. Doc: Light travels faster than sound….

    That was the only sane and factual statement within your rant.

    The rest was some bizarre fantasy image of others that just doesn’t match up to reality at all. A fake straw man argument where you wail against viewpoints and worldviews that simply don’t really exist in the way you try to portray them…

    FAIL. Seek help.