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Obama Conspiracy Theories: 100,000 comments

Wow, 100,000 comments! I never would have thought it when the blog started back in December of 2008. In addition, there have been 51,191 spam comments, few of which have seen the light of day.

I figured I was getting in on the tail end of the Obama conspiracy market, what with the election already over. “Behind the curve,” I thought, but then I’ve never been much more than 50% right predicting the future anyhow.

The 100,000th comment is immortalized following:

Arthur: Lucas, English speakers of all races and classes have trouble deciding when to use “who” and when to use “whom.”Bob Ross wasn’t making a racial slur, but pointing out a simple errorin grammar. Your response to his post was more offensive than anything Bob said or implied. For information on how to choose between “who” and “whom” consult this site: http://web.ku.edu/~edit/whom.html

As a matter of historical interest, I made the first comment on the site, but this is the second:

Kevin Smith: Love the site and you will have to excuse Ted. He puts the very same messages on my blog concerning these issues. I will put a link in for my readers to visit here. Good site.

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37 Responses to Obama Conspiracy Theories: 100,000 comments

  1. avatar
    Majority Will July 15, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

    Kudos to Arthur!

  2. avatar
    obsolete July 15, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    I demand a recount. I am sure if you consider some of Lucas’s (and others) deleted comments, one of mine shirley came in sparkling at 100,000.

  3. avatar
    Thrifty July 15, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

    I demand to see the long form 100,000th comment, with Arthur’s originating IP address and Internet Service Provider. Until then, I will not recognize the authenticity of Arthur the Usurper.

  4. avatar
    Arthur July 15, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

    Dr. C,

    I’m speechless! At a moment like this, pregnant with emotion and over-ripe with inchoate rumblings, one looks to the eloquence of the past, to the reliquary of YouTube, to find that inspired someone whose thoughtful prose must supersede one’s own hysterical ejaculations.

    And so I give you Sally Field: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc39h3f6E0A&feature=related

  5. avatar
    Majority Will July 16, 2011 at 12:44 am #

    Thrifty:
    I demand to see the long form 100,000th comment, with Arthur’s originating IP address and Internet Service Provider.Until then, I will not recognize the authenticity of Arthur the Usurper.

    And why don’t the letters match in Arthur’s comment after I peel away the layers of my LCD monitor? In fact, they disappear altogether. Very suspicious.

  6. avatar
    obsolete July 16, 2011 at 1:43 am #

    Doc C- Is your Twitter account acting up tonight? Six or Seven “New Posts” that actually date back to 2008.

    Arthur- Usurper!

  7. avatar
    Arthur July 16, 2011 at 2:23 am #

    Obsolete. et al.

    You better WATCH YOUR STEP with those questions about my legitimacy, or I’ll have you thrown into DEEPest moderation! I’m sure that Independent Researcher lucas Smith will have no qualms about vouching for my authenticity. I also have a lawyer acquaintance, a whip-smart, golden-haired attorney from California with A PERFECT RECORD of prosecuting eligibility cases. You’ve been warned!!!!!

  8. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 16, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    I’m updating tags on a lot of old articles. Apparently the Twitter interface thinks they are new. Thanks for the tip.

    obsolete: Doc C- Is your Twitter account acting up tonight? Six or Seven “New Posts” that actually date back to 2008.

  9. avatar
    Thrifty July 16, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    The usurper who stole the title of 100,000th comment poster, his name is Arthur. I believe I know the name of ANOTHER famous usurper, named Chester A. ARTHUR, who became president even though he was not a natural born citizen due to the foreign influence of his Irish father. I know this because I was taught it since I was a little boy, and I certainly did not just start retconning my elementary school civics lessons in 2008.

    Two usurpers named ARTHUR. COINCIDENCE???????

  10. avatar
    Wile E. July 16, 2011 at 11:24 am #

    Whom am I to argue with to who Doc wants to bestow this award, but I just gotta say…when I put on my secret-aging-man glasses and let my cursor hover above this so-called King Arthur’s comment I can kinda clearly see the number 126,652.

    And really, would we afford this much hype to an otherwise insignificant comment if Adam had been given eight fingers instead of ten?

  11. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 16, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    Yeah, those numbers are curious, and I’ve never quite figured them out. If you take the number of approved comments plus the number of spam comments the sum is greater than 126,701. There are also deleted comments, but nowhere near 26,701 of them.

    The very FIRST comment on the blog is numbered “6” so go figger.

    Wile E.: when I put on my secret-aging-man glasses and let my cursor hover above this so-called King Arthur’s comment I can kinda clearly see the number 126,652.

  12. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 16, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    I have updated the article to include the very FIRST visitor comment. I wonder who remembers Ted?

  13. avatar
    G July 16, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

    Is that Ted the one we would later refer to as TedBot, due to the same message being spammed near verbatim all over the internet?

    Dr. Conspiracy: I have updated the article to include the very FIRST visitor comment. I wonder who remembers Ted?

  14. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny July 16, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    Thrifty: Chester A. ARTHUR

    Yes, we are dealing with an ancient constitutional conspiracy of pre-biblical proportions.

    Just remember: in 2005, when Obama was pondering whether to run for the Presidency, it was 100 years since the end of the war between Imperial Russia and Imperial Japan.

    The war of course started with the Japanese attack on Port Arthur. The relavance for the Obama conspiracy is proven by the following facts:

    1) some Japanese sailors were from Obama, some were probably even called Obama.(message to Orly Taitz: better check their SSNs)

    2) the Japanese attack on Port Arthur proved to be so useful to the Japanese war effort, that they repeated the same thing at Pearl Harbor in 1941. Without that attack, Hawaii would never have been attractive to the Dunhams, so Obama would never have been born there

    3) the Tsarist secret police instigated pogroms in South Western Russia to diverge popular unrest from political action. Without the pogroms in Odessa and Kishinev, the Averbukhs would never have moved to Kishinev after WWII, so Orly would not have been born there.

    The point is there is a double agent here: someone is posing as a supporter of the birfers, but really was doing his best to help the Usurping Arthur (who I am sure is celebrating his the success of his massive fraud with a bottle of port).

    Who gave away the plans of the harbour of Port Arthur with its fortifications and minefields to the Japanese enabling their navy to attack it? Sidney Reilly, ace of spies.

    Sidney Reilly was played in the BBC series by Sam Neill.

    The link to Arthur now becomes obvious. Sidney Reilly once slept with a woman called Guinevere. How do we kno? Well, he slept with so many women that statistically speaking, one of them must have been called Guinevere. And Reilly forged the famous Zinoviev letter, destined to topple the British Labour government with the help of Arthur Gregory.

    Sam Neill appeared in Merlin (1998), a film based on the legend of King Arthur and has joined the cast of a feature adaptation of the Arthur Miller play A View from the Bridge, scheduled to begin shooting in June 2011.

    So who is our resident Sidney Reilly? Sidney is of course an Australian name. Sidney Reilly falsified Soviet documents basically by shortening them and masterminded the unsuccessful Operation Archangel, which called for a British invasion of Northwestern Russia to coincide with tha assassination of Lenin. Sam Neil played in Dead Calm at the side of Nicole Kidman, who is both a natural norn citizen of the USA and a natural born citizen of Australia.

    Hm? I wonder whether we have a contributor in Australia, who does not like the idea of Nicole Kidman being an NBC, who falsifies quotes by shortening them and who has the name of an archangel?

    Shirley, would there be someone here who claims to support Orly (WBUP) but secretly worked for the Usurper to drive up the number of comments?

    I propose a recount which does not take into account the messages from the double agent

  15. avatar
    Majority Will July 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    The plot thickens!

    Arthur July 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm #

    Hi Dr. C:

    “I see that the number of comments posted to your site is over 98,000. Have you thought about having some sort of recognition or award for the person who posts the 100,000th comment? Maybe a free t-shirt? Coffee mug? What do you think?”

    How would the finest conspiratorial minds decipher this?

    😉

  16. avatar
    Obsolete July 16, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Nice find, Majority Will! I remember that comment, and smelled trouble immediately.
    I will look into a Quo Warrento on (our very British sounding) friend Arthur.
    We cant let the Germans get away with bombing Pearl Harbour twice.

  17. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 16, 2011 at 1:27 pm #

    Yes, that’s the one. Ted would spam the same message on multiple threads on the blog. I deleted the multiples and eventually banned Ted. However, a number of Ted comments remain, high reminiscent of comments we get today:

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/01/you-know-youre-a-nobama-if/#comment-1611
    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2008/12/polarik-is-back/#comment-62
    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/01/you-know-youre-a-nobama-if/#comment-114
    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/01/you-know-youre-a-nobama-if/#comment-42

    If 1/20/09 comes and goes with a usurper in the Whitehouse with usurper enablers in Congress and the Supreme Court … God help us because many of the people will — rightfully and under our Constitution and Declaration of Independence — endeavor forcefully to take back the Government from what is nothing less than a coup d’etat.

    Way back then (in 2008) we had folks urging armed insurrection.

    G: Is that Ted the one we would later refer to as TedBot, due to the same message being spammed near verbatim all over the internet?

  18. avatar
    misha July 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    Soros is paying you and “Arthur.” I have it on good authority of the International Jewish Conspiracyâ„¢.

  19. avatar
    Arthur July 16, 2011 at 4:24 pm #

    Damn you Majority Will, and your infernal memory!

    Obsolete . . . I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Your mother’s so fat that when she sits around the house . . . SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.There! With my clever snap I’ve completely disarmed your argument.

    And Misha! Oy, when did you become a blabbermouth? Just when I’m about to get some of that good Soros gelt, you spill the beans?! Fifteen times I’m telling you, be quiet. Such a nudnik he is.

  20. avatar
    Randy July 16, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    Ted is how i found your site. He was all over the internet in December of ’08. I would google birth certificate and Ted, Ted, Ted and his check and mate.

  21. avatar
    Keith July 16, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

    Paul Pieniezny: So who is our resident Sidney Reilly? Sidney is of course an Australian name. Sidney Reilly falsified Soviet documents basically by shortening them and masterminded the unsuccessful Operation Archangel, which called for a British invasion of Northwestern Russia to coincide with tha assassination of Lenin. Sam Neil played in Dead Calm at the side of Nicole Kidman, who is both a natural norn citizen of the USA and a natural born citizen of Australia.

    Well all I know is that Sam Neil was born in Northern Ireland when his New Zealand dad was serving in the Irish Guard. He now lives in both Sydney Australia and Wellington New Zealand. So I guess he has triple citizenship?

    Everyone knows that New Zealand would have been part of the Australian Federation if it hadn’t been for Rupert Murdoch’s dad’s manipulation. And Australia has a Port Arthur too, a famous prison colony for Irish dissidents (there is that Irish connection again) that is the archetype for the FEMA camps that are being set up and was the site of the mass murder shooting spree (35 dead) in 1996.

    Hm? I wonder whether we have a contributor in Australia, who does not like the idea of Nicole Kidman being an NBC, who falsifies quotes by shortening them and who has the name of an archangel?

    Irony meters are too expensive in Australia, China hasn’t learned how to make them for 10 cents a dozen.

    Shirley, would there be someone here who claims to support Orly (WBUP) but secretly worked for the Usurper to drive up the number of comments?

    Shirley Strachan died in a helicopter crash in 2001. He was the lead singer for the band Skyhooks. Their biggest hits were “Jukebox in Siberia” clearly about the Commie conspiracy to infest our children with the rock and roll perversion, and “Horror Movie” where the non-Murdoch TV news was likened to a horror movie. Shirley was also a real life carpenter on one of those subversive lifestyle shows, and of course “The Carpenters” were one of the most nasty innuendo laden perversion promoting music groups to ever infest the radio waves.

  22. avatar
    obsolete July 16, 2011 at 11:53 pm #

    Arthur: Obsolete . . . I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Your mother’s so fat that when she sits around the house . . . SHE SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.There! With my clever snap I’ve completely disarmed your argument.

    I can’t refute logic like this. I hereby bow to your 100,000ism and kiss your ring.

  23. avatar
    Arthur July 17, 2011 at 1:23 am #

    Incroyable! Lucas told me a “yo momma” would work and it did!. I wonder why it never works for him . . .? No matter.

    Obsolete, I accept your fealty and bid you stand, becoming as you do, Sir Obo of Slete. I have begun to plant thee, sir knight, and will labor to make thee full of growing! Come, shall we go and kill us venison?!

  24. avatar
    misha July 17, 2011 at 1:50 am #

    Arthur: Come, shall we go and kill us venison?!

    Bring me a shrubbery.

  25. avatar
    Kupuna July 17, 2011 at 2:05 am #

    Ho’omaikai’i Doc! Mahalo for the laughs & keep up the great work. You’re a class act.
    Birthers try to ignore the fact that you have devoted years to your Christian faith. They’d rather rally around hypocrits like Rush, the thrice-divorced & childless guy who supposedly supports family values. Cognitive dissonance, much?

  26. avatar
    Kupuna July 17, 2011 at 2:09 am #

    And one more Mahalo to Paul Pieniezny ! I enjoyed reading his lesson about how an attack on little Port Arthur lead to the Day of Infamy & WWII. HAHAHAHAHA!

  27. avatar
    Arthur July 17, 2011 at 2:40 am #

    Well, well, well. Paul Pieniezny. AKA: “The Flying Dutchman,” AKA, “Le Roi Goolge.” Our paths meet again. Was it so long ago since you defeated my attempt to enter and leave Kenya without having my passport stamped to prove to Judge Mental that it could be done!? Oh, and you get “his” name don’t you? It’s a play on words: Judge Mental, Judg metle, juggs metal . . . in other words, Katy Perry! Check out her picture on the cover of “Rolling Stone,” then maybe you’ll understand. Or are you to old to rock ‘n roll!!! Score!

    And now, this:

    “Sam Neill appeared in “Merlin” (1998), a film based on the legend of King Arthur and has joined the cast of a feature adaptation of the Arthur Miller play “A View from the Bridge,” scheduled to begin shooting in June 2011.”

    I see your perception and powers of deduction remain acute, almost too cute. For while you certainly know how to connect the dots . . . sometimes the dots you connect are not the dots they seem to be!

    It’s true that I have played King Arthur (“Arthur’s performance as England’s first King had me rooting for the French,” Croyden Gazette and Advertiser). And it’s also true that I have directed “View from the Bridge” (“Arthur’s take on Miller’s modern tragedy brought the audience to their feet; unfortunately they never returned from the interval,” East Grinstead Tattler). However, where you fall down is in confusing Sam Neil with Hugo Weaving, for it is Weaving who shall play the eponymous role of “The Bridge” in the upcoming revival of Miller’s play. On a side note, Weaving had to give up replacing “The Situation” in the popular reality TV show, “Jersey Shore.”

    So, and yeah, next time, Pauly Shore, will you try to get your facts straight?. Oh, and your momma’s so big, they used the hem of her skirt to trace the R4 around Gent.

    Oh yes I did!!!!

    Snap!

  28. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny July 17, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    Kupuna:
    And one more Mahalo to Paul Pieniezny !Ienjoyed reading his lesson about how an attack on little Port Arthur lead to the Day of Infamy & WWII.HAHAHAHAHA!

    Actually, Port Arthur was not so small. It is now called Lüshunkou in China and has 200,000 inhabitants (granted, that is less than Ghent). Of all the other Port Arthurs in the world, the one in Finland is the funniest:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VIII_District,_Turku

    But the important point about Port Arthur is that after destroying most of the Russian Pacific fleet, the Japanese laid siege to the harbour. Considering the severe beatings the Russians took at sea, the fact that the fort held on so long is a near-victory. The Japanese army also lost a lot of men (if it had come to a full-blown w

    This may be the reason why in 1941 the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, but didn’t try to conquer it.

    Some historians think the Japanese were inspired by the British strike on Copenhagen in 1807.

  29. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny July 17, 2011 at 7:27 pm #

    Arthur: Dutchman

    AARRGH. That hurt. I give up, you are the rightful owner of the 100,000 crown…

  30. avatar
    Keith July 18, 2011 at 2:55 am #

    Paul Pieniezny: But the important point about Port Arthur is that after destroying most of the Russian Pacific fleet, the Japanese laid siege to the harbour.

    Au Contraire.

    From Wikipedia about the naval battle of 8th and 9th February 1904:

    Although the naval Battle of Port Arthur had resulted in no major warship losses, the IJN had been driven from the battlefield by the combined fire of the Russian battleships and shore batteries, thus attributing to them a minor victory.[1] The Russians took 150 casualties to around 90 for the Japanese. Although no ship was sunk on either side, several took damage. However, the Japanese had ship repair and drydock facilities in Sasebo with which to make repairs, whereas the Russian fleet had only very limited repair capability at Port Arthur.

    It was only after this battle that Japan changed its tactic to siege. From About.com:

    Advancing on the city, Nogi began shelling the Russian lines on August 7, 1904. This was supported by the Japanese fleet, under Admiral Togo Heihachiro, which had blockaded the First Russian Pacific Squadron in the harbor.

    Over the next two days, Nogi launched a series of frontal assaults to capture the advanced Russian positions on Big and Little Orphan Hills. Though they were forced to withdraw, the Russians, supported by naval gunfire, inflicted heavy casualties on the Japanese. With the fall of these hills, Tsar Nicholas II ordered the naval squadron to break out and head for Vladivostok. This was attempted, but the warships were defeated at the Battle of the Yellow Sea on August 10, and forced to return to Port Arthur.

    Not destroyed. Blockaded. The first Russian naval defeat occurred 6 months after the beginning of the blockade and siege. Further discussion

    Japanese troops began building trenches and digging tunnels under the Russian lines. To bombard the city, large 11-inch Krupp howitzers were brought in which fired 500-lb. shells. Slowly advancing, Japanese troops took the Waterworks Redoubt on September 19, and launched a major attack against Temple Redoubt and 203 Meter Hill. While the redoubt fell, the hill held out against all assaults. Another attack on the hill was ordered on October 29, in celebration of the emperor’s birthday. It failed with over 3,600 killed.

    As 203 Meter Hill became the new focus of the battle, Stoessel delegated its defense to Colonel Tretyakov. Under extreme pressure from Tokyo, Nogi recommenced the assault on November 26, with frontal attacks on 203 Meter Hill and the adjacent Akasakayama Hill. Repeatedly beaten back, the attack continued for the next nine days until the Japanese finally overran the Russian positions. The capture of the hill proved critical as Nogi shifted some of his 11-inch Krupps to its summit. From this position, they were able to hit and sink the Russian warships in the harbor.

    So it was almost 10 months after the naval Battle of Port Arthur that the Japanese were able to destroy the Russian Pacific Fleet. Though it is arguable that the blockade was as effective as destruction, the Russian Navy continued to inflict damage on the Japanese fleet throughout, mostly via mine laying operations. The Japanese had much better results against the Russian Baltic fleet in the Battle of Tsushima the following May which firmly established Japan as a Naval power in the Pacific.

    Read more here.

  31. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny July 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    Keith:

    So it was almost 10 months after the naval Battle of Port Arthur that the Japanese were able to destroy the Russian Pacific Fleet. Though it is arguable that the blockade was as effective as destruction, the Russian Navy continued to inflict damage on the Japanese fleet throughout, mostly via mine laying operations. The Japanese had much better results against the Russian Baltic fleet in the Battle of Tsushima the following May which firmly established Japan as a Naval power in the Pacific.

    Read more here.

    Yes, my mistake – they BLOCKADED the Russian Pacific fleet, and Tsushima was 1905, not 1904, as I wrongly remembered.

    Copenhagen too was first about blockade, not destruction- the British Navy even managed to take most of the Danish ships to Britain to be used in the war with France.

    The main reason why Copenhagen, Port Arthur and Pearl Harbor are related is that all three were major naval attacks without any declaration of war. “Days of Infamy”. And meant to permanently incapacitate the victim’s navy – in that sense only the first one was really succesful. Even with Tsushima, a democratic Russia may actually have won this war, because when Russia started to sue for peace to stop the collapse of the state due to an avalanche of civilian strikes and military mutiny, the Japanese were already on the verge of economic collapse.

    I honestly think that my contention that the Japanese in 1941 tried to avoid what had almost caused their defeat in 1904-5 still holds. So, they indeed tried to destroy the American Pacific fleet in one big attack, but did not try to occupy Hawaii, going for the oil and rubber of Sout East Asia instead.

    But you’re right, the original basis for my contention was in error.

  32. avatar
    Arthur July 18, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    Paul Pieniezny: AARRGH. That hurt. I give up, you are the rightful owner of the 100,000 crown…

    Paul,

    This reminds me of epitaphs about the Dutch that my mother learned while growing up in Depression-era Milwaukee, Wisconsin. In her neighborhood, made up of mostly Polish immigrants, the Dutch were ridiculed.

    1. If a man was cheap, his date would be made to “go Dutch,” that is, the girl would have to share the costs of an evening out.

    2. Making people pay their own way, especially when there was the expectation that their expenses would be paid for by the host, was known as a “Dutch treat,” i.e., no treat at all.

    3. If you had poor taste, for example, in clothing or home decoration, your wardrobe or home would be described as “Dutchy.” Dutchy was a synonym for the word “kitsch.”

    4. Someone who lacked social grace, was awkward or crude, might be called “a god-damned Dutchman.”

    5. The phrase, “hot as Dutch love,” could be used to describe anything that failed to live up to it’s expectations. If a movie was bad, for example, it was decried as being “hot as Dutch love.” This phrase could also be used ironically to describe a brutally cold day.

    6. In general, you could use “Dutch” as a codeword to describe someone you felt was oafish, blockheaded, backward, or dull.

  33. avatar
    Majority Will July 18, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    Arthur: Paul,

    This reminds me of epitaphs about the Dutch that my mother learned while growing up in Depression-era Milwaukee, Wisconsin. In her neighborhood, made up of mostly Polish immigrants, the Dutch were ridiculed.

    1. If a man was cheap, his date would be made to “go Dutch,” that is, the girl would have to share the costs of an evening out.

    2. Making people pay their own way, especially when there was the expectation that their expenses would be paid for by the host, was known as a “Dutch treat,” i.e., no treat at all.

    3. If you had poor taste, for example, in clothing or home decoration, your wardrobe or home would be described as “Dutchy.” Dutchy was a synonym for the word “kitsch.”

    4. Someone who lacked social grace, was awkward or crude, might be called “a god-damned Dutchman.”

    5. The phrase, “hot as Dutch love,” could be used to describe anything that failed to live up to it’s expectations. If a movie was bad, for example, it was decried as being “hot as Dutch love.” This phrase could also be used ironically to describe a brutally cold day.

    6. In general, you could use “Dutch” as a codeword to describe someone you felt was oafish, blockheaded, backward, or dull.

    And then there is a Dutch Oven.

  34. avatar
    Arthur July 18, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    Majority Will:

    Hilarious! I’d never heard of that reference for Dutch Oven. Gross, but very funny indeed. The Urban Dictionary continues to amaze.

  35. avatar
    aarrgghh July 18, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    Arthur: This reminds me of epitaphs about the Dutch …

    i believe you meant “epithets” …

    </mr. malaprop>

  36. avatar
    Arthur July 19, 2011 at 12:03 am #

    Thanks for the correction! A bumbling mistake, but it keep me humble,

  37. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny July 19, 2011 at 5:50 pm #

    With us, Dutch means stingy, miserly, a bit like the Scots. Dutch treat and go Dutch, yes.

    Both the Dutch and the French use “Belgian” with the meaning “stupid” a bit like the Irish – Belgians think slowly, they say, it has been proven scientifically. Belgians tend to explain that by the number of languages we speak – a Dutchman hearing a joke told by another Dutchman will take 5 seconds to get it, we take 14 seconds – 5 seconds to recognize the language the joke is in, 5 seconds to get used to the dialect of the one who tells the joke and 4 seconds to get the joke.

    I notice no one mentioned Dutch courage. Must be a Britishism.

    By the way, the Flying Dutchman was actually from Terneuzen (like Willem Beuckelszoon, the guy who invented gibbing) and Terneuzen is not so far from Ghent, being at the other end of our “sea canal”. (starts me wondering whether Arthur got all that from my Wikipedia page as well (Zeeuws is mentioned as languages known).