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A birther Christmas

In keeping with holiday tradition, I offer the following birther version of a popular Christmas song:

On the first day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
A birth certificate

On the second day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the third day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the fourth day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the fifth  day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the sixth day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the seventh day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Seven baptismal certificates
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the eighth day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Eight adoption records
Seven baptismal certificates
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the ninth day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Nine Law client lists
Eight adoption records
Seven baptismal certificates
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the tenth day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Ten medical records
Nine Law client lists
Eight adoption records
Seven baptismal certificates
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the eleventh day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Eleven financial aid records
Ten medical records
Nine Law client lists
Eight adoption records
Seven baptismal certificates
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

On the twelfth day of Christmas the birthers asked of me
Twelve Illinois Bar records
Eleven financial aid records
Ten medical records
Nine Law client lists
Eight adoption records
Seven baptismal certificates
Six passport records
— FIVE LONG FORMS —
Four kindergarten records
Three college transcripts
Two senior theses
And another birth certificate

The technical problem with my song is that the actual list of records demanded by birthers is considerably longer.

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9 Responses to A birther Christmas

  1. avatar
    richCares December 27, 2011 at 6:53 pm #

    On the first day of Christamas my Tutu give to me
    1 big fat pig
    2 banana pear trees
    And an Orly in a pear tree.

  2. avatar
    Northland10 December 27, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    The technical problem with my song is that the actual list of records demanded by birthers is considerably longer.

    And the amount of items they ask for keeps changing.

  3. avatar
    G December 27, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    LMAO! Yes and Yes.

    Northland10: The technical problem with my song is that the actual list of records demanded by birthers is considerably longer.
    And the amount of items they ask for keeps changing.

  4. avatar
    JPotter December 27, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

    The terrible meter and absence or rhyme combine to give it unquestionable authenticity! To which birther is credit due?

  5. avatar
    ASK Esq December 28, 2011 at 12:33 am #

    Ran out of days before you got to SSN and Selective Service applications.

  6. avatar
    jayhg December 28, 2011 at 2:53 pm #

    ASK Esq: Ran out of days before you got to SSN and Selective Service applications.

    I was about to say that same thing?? Doctor, where’s the social security numbers!!??

  7. avatar
    Wile E December 30, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    Stayin’ alive…

    Matt, son of Mitt, on whether Romney will disclose his personal financials:

    “He’s certainly not afraid of anything, he’s not hiding anything,” he said of his father in a video recorded by a Patch reporter in New Hampshire. “But I heard someone suggest the other day that as soon as President Obama releases his grades and birth certificate and sort of a long list of things, that maybe he’d do that.”

    http://concord-nh.patch.com/articles/mitt-romney-s-sons-meet-concord-seniors-video#video-8805057

  8. avatar
    G December 30, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    Watching the clip, it is fairly clear that Matt was merely attempting an awkward attempt at making a joke that fell flat. Seems that he inherited his dad’s awkward inability to do comedy.

    Wile E: Stayin’ alive…Matt, son of Mitt, on whether Romney will disclose his personal financials:“He’s certainly not afraid of anything, he’s not hiding anything,” he said of his father in a video recorded by a Patch reporter in New Hampshire. “But I heard someone suggest the other day that as soon as President Obama releases his grades and birth certificate and sort of a long list of things, that maybe he’d do that.”http://concord-nh.patch.com/articles/mitt-romney-s-sons-meet-concord-seniors-video#video-8805057

  9. avatar
    Majority Will December 30, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    G: Seems that he inherited his dad’s awkward inability to do comedy.

    This really isn’t that far from the truth:
    http://badlipreading.tumblr.com/post/11466321440

    “Your mama’s pudgy. Face it.”