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Sheriff Joe Arpaio vows to stop illegal immigrants

In a news conference earlier today, “America’s toughest sheriff” Joe Arpaio announced a new “no exceptions” policy designed to curb immigration abuses even further.

Under Arizona law (28-625) drivers of animal-drawn vehicles are “subject to all of the duties applicable to the driver of a vehicle by this chapter.” Arpaio has directed his deputies to begin stops of animal-drawn vehicles with checks of their proof of citizenship.

Civil rights and immigration advocates have responded saying that this new policy is no less than intimidation of the population who will now have to carry identification with them during recreational activities.

In an answer to a follow-up question, Arpaio explained that his action was not done on a whim, rather it was taken in an attempt to prevent a repeat of the rather notorious public embarrassment that happened as a result of a series of home invasions by an undocumented worker in the state around this time last year.

Santa_Wanted_2Arpaio said: “The notorious Santa Claus (or whatever his real name is) has never shown that he is legally entitled to work in the United States.” Arpaio further explained that the liberal media had made children in Arizona “soft on immigration issues” and misrepresented the threat posed by undocumented workers like Santa. “This ends here and now,” Arpaio vowed.


This article was inspired by Jim Galloway at the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Click on the image for information to purchase the 3D model.

5 Responses to Sheriff Joe Arpaio vows to stop illegal immigrants

  1. avatar
    Arthur December 22, 2011 at 3:15 pm #

    And I’m pretty sure that reindeer would need to be quarantined.

  2. avatar
    Daniel December 22, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

    Not to mention importing millions of dollars of toys and entertainment products into the state, on which no duty has been paid, under the guise of “gifts”

  3. avatar
    El Diablo Negro December 22, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

    This $@%$! ran over my grandma with his flying deer freaks!!…he should be shot!

  4. avatar
    GeorgetownJD December 23, 2011 at 12:02 am #

    I arrived in Arizona today to spend the holidays with family. Thus far I’ve not spotted any animal-drawn vehicles on Loop 202, so Sheriff Joe’s new policy must be working …

  5. avatar
    Santa December 23, 2011 at 10:38 am #

    Yo…Ho…Ho… Placing your minds at ease this day….I have a universal birth certificate that is accepted mostly all over the world. Sheriff Joe wrote me a letter wishing a brand new high back chair for Christmast. I had elfy look into her crystal ball, and she saw no office for the sheriff, so this year he gets a orange one piece pants suit. Hope he likes p&j sandwishes. Have yourself a great holiday folks.