Questions swirl amid claims of double identity
Dateline: Massac County, Illinois, March 2, 2012
This one was totally off the radar. No one seems to have been aware of this obscure case in the Superior Court of Massac County, in Metropolis, Illinois – not Jack Ryan, not Tes and not even The Fogbow.
The challenge is based on claims that Barack Obama was not born in the United States (been there, done that, got the T-shirt). In this complaint the challenger alleges a novel theory to overcome much of the conventional evidence and the high implausibility of a very pregnant Stanley Ann Obama traveling to Kenya to give birth to a child. The argument is that Barack Obama was neither born in Hawaii, nor was he the child of Stanley Ann and Barack Obama Sr., but rather was a foundling, discovered by Stanley Ann’s parents outside their residence at 6085 Kalanianaole Highway in the crash of an (GET THIS) experimental aircraft. This explains, for example, why contemporary photos of Stanley Ann Obama do not indicate that she is pregnant. The newborn Barack Obama was taken immediately to Kapi’olani Hospital and that is why his birth is registered at the hospital (National Center for Health Statistics instructions for Place of birth specify: “If the birth occurred en route, that is in a moving conveyance, type or print the city, town, village, or location where the child was first removed from the conveyance.”)
While I don’t believe the story myself, it is certainly one of the most plausible of the birther scenarios so far. The challenger claims that hard to see pencil marks, that would be visible on the original certified copy of the long-form certificate, show that the actual place of birth was not in the hospital but in a conveyance. Superior Court Judge White was duly impressed, and surprisingly issued a court order to the President for him to produce a certified copy of his birth certificate.
Of course there would seem to be no evidence to support such a fanciful theory to justify even a hearing much less a subpoena, except that the challenger provided the court with some disturbing video footage of the President privately admitting that the Obama’s were not his real parents, and some photos indicating that the President is guilty of maintaining a double identity (personally I believe that these images have been Photoshopped).
Original Birth Certificate settles the issue
According to the hearing transcript obtained by Obama Conspiracy Theories, Chicago attorney Jeffery Leving (pictured right with President Obama) presented the certified long-form birth document to Judge White. The challenger demanded to examine the document, and this is what transpired according to the transcript:
Defense: Your honor, President Obama presents this certified copy of his Birth Certificate from the State of Hawaii as defense Exhibit 1.
Judge White: The Clerk will mark Exhibit 1 as accepted.
Challenger: I demand to examine the document.
Judge White: Clerk, please pass the document to the challenger.
Challenger: There is something wrong with this document. It differs from the one previously released by the White House. The physician’s name appears to have been altered. The released document shows the physician as David A. Sinclair. The last name here is hard to make out. Let me see, uh. It looks like “K L T P Z Y X M.” What the hell is “KLTPZYXM?”
(at this point the challenger disappeared from the court room in a puff of smoke.
Judge White: The case of Mxyzptlk v. Obama is dismissed