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Birther jokes

The suspense was intense waiting to find out whether President Obama was going to crack any birther jokes at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Mitt Romney sustained a 7.0 zinger and even the Secret Service wasn’t immune.

“My name is Barack Obama.  My mother was born in Kansas.  My father was born in Kenya.  And I was born of course in Hawaii.”

Obama then winks at the crowd and smiles.

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27 Responses to Birther jokes

  1. avatar
    Majority Will April 29, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    “Obama then winks at the crowd and smiles.”

    Hear that little popping noise?

    Birther bigot brain bubbles.

  2. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy April 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

    Does that image of Donald Trump look a little familiar?

    http://www.obots.org/archives/234

  3. avatar
    J. Potter April 29, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

    Hockey mom …. pit bull … pit bull is delicious. Ouch. I don’t think they completely thought that one through.

  4. avatar
    BatGuano April 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

    J. Potter:
    Ouch. I don’t think they completely thought that one through.

    i thought it was the best joke of the bunch.

  5. avatar
    nbc April 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm #

    It helps understanding the history of that joke though.

  6. avatar
    Keith April 29, 2012 at 6:08 pm #

    I thought the pit bull joke was good. The audience murmur of disbelief was classic (Arnold, did he really just say what I think he said? Yes Zelda, he ate dog when he was a kid in Indonesia).

  7. avatar
    Keith April 29, 2012 at 6:10 pm #

    And thanks Doc for linking the entire segment. The edited snippits I have seen elsewhere doesn’t do it justice. It was one of the best Presidential routines at this event I’ve seen.

  8. avatar
    Sef April 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm #

    Keith:
    It was one of the best Presidential routines at this event I’ve seen.

    Yes, the President was better than Kimmel, who was probably nervous as hell.

  9. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy April 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm #

    You’re welcome. It took a while to find one without ads. BTW, I have settled on a way to embed YouTube videos that avoids the Adobe Flash player and will allow the videos to be played on iPhones and iPads. I went back and replaced a dozen or so older videos with the new embed code. This only applies to YouTube.

    Keith: And thanks Doc for linking the entire segment.

  10. avatar
    Jamese777 April 29, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    You’re welcome. It took a while to find one without ads. BTW, I have settled on a way to embed YouTube videos that avoids the Adobe Flash player and will allow the videos to be played on iPhones and iPads. I went back and replaced a dozen or so older videos with the new embed code. This only applies to YouTube.

    My two week old IPad thanks you!

  11. avatar
    Gary Miller April 29, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    That wink to the crowd was classic.

  12. avatar
    Northland10 April 29, 2012 at 8:53 pm #

    I should probably not mention:

    Unsafe JavaScript attempt to access frame with URL http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2012/04/birther-jokes-2/ from frame with URL http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZlJG5mpsyvI?rel=0. Domains, protocols and ports must match.

    This is from Chrome “Inspect Element” so I am not sure what it all means. The video works regardless. Eventually, I assume conspiracy theorists will come up with a conspiracy dealing with HTML5.

    Dr. Conspiracy: You’re welcome. It took a while to find one without ads. BTW, I have settled on a way to embed YouTube videos that avoids the Adobe Flash player and will allow the videos to be played on iPhones and iPads.

  13. avatar
    J. Potter April 29, 2012 at 10:29 pm #

    Keith:
    I thought the pit bull joke was good. The audience murmur of disbeliefwas classic (Arnold, did he really just say what I think he said? Yes Zelda, he ate dog when he was a kid in Indonesia).

    Oh, no, I know the background of the joke … good to know the mind of others didn’t go where mine did (*ahem*) … overall, it was an awesome routine, far surpassed last year, the guy is ever more comfortable in the President’s skin.

    Still scratching my head over the Kimmel pick. How do they select the host?

  14. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy April 29, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

    Dunno. It worked OK with Chrome for me.

    The embed code is displaying the YouTube video in a frame, and the domain of the frame (youtube.com) is not the same as the domain of the page (obamaconspiracy.org); however, that’s the standard YouTube embed code for HTML5. Maybe your browser is overanxious having dealt with birthers so long.

    Northland10: This is from Chrome “Inspect Element” so I am not sure what it all means. The video works regardless. Eventually, I assume conspiracy theorists will come up with a conspiracy dealing with HTML5.

  15. avatar
    Northland10 April 30, 2012 at 7:00 am #

    Dr. Conspiracy: Maybe your browser is overanxious having dealt with birthers so long.

    Probably. Must be a conspiracy.

    It still works on Chrome but the web console has the errors. Firefox has some issues but not the same.. Maybe the lawsuit between Oracle and Google made the Java script behave oddly in Chrome.. Maybe the trilateral commission is involved. Maybe this is how Orly got a screw in her tire.

  16. avatar
    James M April 30, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    Keith:
    I thought the pit bull joke was good. The audience murmur of disbeliefwas classic (Arnold, did he really just say what I think he said? Yes Zelda, he ate dog when he was a kid in Indonesia).

    I myself have eaten squirrel and horse. It would surprise me only a little, if it turns out that I know someone or even have a family member who has eaten dog. Although nobody in my immediate family would ever have done so out of desperation — we raised goats and pigs commercially. Eating squirrel was something I did to fit in with a group of rednecks. Eating horse was something I did to be adventurous, and I have to tell you it was weird but not bad. It was like an odd steak, stringy but tender.

  17. avatar
    J. Edward Tremlett April 30, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

    One of my regrets from the time I was in Korea is that I didn’t take some students up on an offer to go eat dog soup.

  18. avatar
    Keith April 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    I am unaware of having eaten dog, though it is possible that I have done so in China or Malaysia or Indonesia without knowing.

    The ‘duopoly’ of beef and pork in the modern diet is pretty silly. I have eaten horse in the USA, (bought at Safeway, I think), in the late 60’s I think, when beef prices went through the roof and the abattoirs started getting it inspected for human consumption. It was great.

    I have not eaten squirrel, but I have eaten rattlesnake. Contrary to myth, it does NOT taste like chicken, it tastes like rattlesnake.

    I have eaten possum (not North American opossum, Australian possum) that basically fills the same ecological niche as squirrel, and other Australian ‘game’ animals like kangaroo, wallaby, emu, and crocodile. Kangaroo is very much like venison, but if anything even more lean.

    Australian pest imports like camel and water buffalo should be on the menu all over Australia. They taste great and their number really really need controlling. Maybe some bright spark entrepreneur should start a franchise operation called TGC (Territory Grilled Camel). I think it could challenge KFC in a couple of years.

  19. avatar
    Keith April 30, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

    Oh, I did miss the admission to having eaten chicken feet, in Melbourne, Sydney, and Hong Kong. Very delicate, and extremely tasty. But a lot of sucking for not much meat.

  20. avatar
    Norbrook April 30, 2012 at 6:27 pm #

    Keith:

    I have not eaten squirrel, but I have eaten rattlesnake. Contrary to myth, it does NOT taste like chicken, it tastes like rattlesnake.

    I have eaten possum (not North American opossum, Australian possum) that basically fills the same ecological niche as squirrel, and other Australian ‘game’ animals like kangaroo, wallaby, emu, and crocodile. Kangaroo is very much like venison, but if anything even more lean.

    I have eaten opossum (meh), racoon (oily), and woodchuck (no real taste, very bland). There’s a lot of animals that were (and sometimes still are) “on the menu” here in this country which would probably cause the vapors for anyone used to “go to the grocery store and pick up a package.”

  21. avatar
    Rob A April 30, 2012 at 7:09 pm #

    Alligator is like tough, fishy pork. Frog legs are to gross looking and veiny to get past the first bite. Rattlesnake was quite nice, however, and I agree not really like chicken.

  22. avatar
    JPotter April 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm #

    There’s a duopoly of beef and pork? I eat chicken and turkey, very little fish, and darn near zero pork (beyond a lil ham in the eggs). And no stinkin’ bottom feeders.

    I heard a piece recently about a budding movement against dog in China. Funny how standards elevate as food is more readily available, isn’t it? Last year’s delicacy becomes this year’s untouchable.

  23. avatar
    Dave B. April 30, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    Speaking of birther jokes, I’ve been watching the video of Sam Sewell’s little meeting of the minds down in Florida, and Mike Voeltz told a humdinger there:
    “This all started a long time ago. I’ve been reading, I don’t know if ya’ll know Leo Donofrio, his blog and yeah, I feel like he is probably the most knowledgeable source of information on the subject of, you know, what a natural born citizen is, and I’ve, I’ve learned a lot, and I probably know more about it than most attorneys– or any attorney– which I find to be very lacking in any kind of knowledge about the Constitution to begin with. You know that…I mean that there is not one attorney in the United States, uh, you know, that there’s not a hundred of them, you know, taking up this cause tells you a lot about the law profession.”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8apBFXLHeU&feature=youtu.be
    That little nugget starts about 7:16. I’m trying to get through the whole thing, and it’s making Mitt Romney look like Lady Gaga. I recommend it only for those having trouble falling asleep.
    And speaking of pork, did you hear the one about the chicken saying to the pig “Let’s do a little something for that nice farmer fellow who takes such good care of us. I know, let’s give him a great big ham-and-egg breakfast.”

  24. avatar
    Keith April 30, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    JPotter: There’s a duopoly of beef and pork? I eat chicken and turkey, very little fish, and darn near zero pork (beyond a lil ham in the eggs). And no stinkin’ bottom feeders.

    OK, In Oz, we eat a lot of lamb too. I also used to eat a fair bit of rabbit, before the CSIRO sorta accidentally on purpose poisoned all the rabbit farms and the price went through the roof. But chicken and fish aren’t meat and that’s what I was talking about.

    If we are talking poultry, then I’ve eaten chicken, duck, goose, pigeon, guinea fowl, pea hen.

    I heard a piece recently about a budding movement against dog in China. Funny how standards elevate as food is more readily available, isn’t it? Last year’s delicacy becomes this year’s untouchable.

    Well that is the Aussie’s trying to promote beef, of course. But along those same lines it is also true that the world is eating fish that they would have been turning their nose up at just a few years ago. As the ‘prime’ species are ‘harvested’ to the brink of extinction, more and more formerly ‘lousy’ species are being exploited. Pretty soon the ocean is going to be a devoid of fish altogether at this rate.

    This thread has gotten just a little bit off track here. I’m calling a unilateral halt to this line of discussion. I’m off to play a game of croquet.

  25. avatar
    Thomas Brown April 30, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

    Dave B.:
    Speaking of birther jokes…

    How do you drive a birther crazy?
    Tell him there’s a Kenyan birth certificate in the Oval Office, in a box in the corner.

    What words does a birther hear while having sex?
    “Get off me, Dad, you’re crushing my smokes!”

  26. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    I was told that they used to feed lobster to prisoners.

    Keith: Well that is the Aussie’s trying to promote beef, of course. But along those same lines it is also true that the world is eating fish that they would have been turning their nose up at just a few years ago.

  27. avatar
    JPotter May 2, 2012 at 9:23 am #

    Letterman and Seth Green recap last year’s classic Press Corps dinner …. more piling on Trump.