Putting America back to work

I had a friend who was a noted orthopedic surgeon. As he got older, his physical skills deteriorated, but he wanted to keep active in the medical field, and so he performed amputations.

I retired as a software developer from “the birth certificate factory” at the end of 2010 and have been enjoying my retirement since then; however, I got a call a couple weeks ago from my old employer saying that they were in somewhat of a bind, and they asked if I could do some contract work for them. So I’m going back to work for a few months, only I guess they’re not trusting me with birth certificates; I will be working with death certificates this time.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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18 Responses to Putting America back to work

  1. Dave B. says:

    Well, that’s the natural progression.

  2. dunstvangeet says:

    Does this mean that we’ll now be discussing the theories that Obama is actually an android from the future, who killed off the original Obama, and took his place right before he went into the CIA?

  3. Jim says:

    Hey, that’s great! I’d like to get one for Orly, and one for Mario, Kreep needs one, and of course another for Sheriff Joe. They’re all dying a slow and. hopefully, painful death. 😀

  4. Andrew Vrba says:

    Can I get one for all the brain cells that birthers have killed?

  5. misha says:

    That reminds me of a story in Chinese culture:

    A Westerner goes to a Confucian scholar in China. “I’ve been told you can explain life to me.” The scholar nods his head.

    “Well, what is it?”

    “Child is born. Grandfather dies. Father dies.”

    “That’s it?! That’s terrible!”, the Westerner exclaims.

    The Chinese scholar replies, “Would you have it any other way?”

  6. sactosintolerant says:

    If it doesn’t violate privacy laws, let us know when you see your first dissolving CIA death dart cause of death.

  7. ASK Esq says:

    Just make sure they don’t have layers, or they won’t be valid, and the people won’t be really dead.

  8. Daniel says:

    I refuse to believe Reagan is dead until I see his long form death certificate

  9. Andrew Vrba says:

    According to a summary of a video someone watched on Youtube this one time, Reagan was turned into a super-cyborg.

  10. Thrifty says:

    Well congrats Doc. Have a good, or at least not terribly uncomfortable, time at your new assignment.

    I’ve often wondered how retired people manage. I’ve been a strange state of quasi-retirement for the past 8 months. I was laid off at the end of September 2011, but have such low expenses and enough savings that I don’t really have to worry about money until the middle of 2015. My biggest problem has been the crushing boredom. Of course, I was much more bored in my last job where finding distractions was more difficult, and the occasional work assignment that I couldn’t handle would come in as a big stressor.

    I grew up in a college town (Newark, Delaware), right in the heart of the University of Delaware. I love learning. I think my retirement fantasy is to enroll in UD and just pursue some degrees with no worries about the cost or the career potential. How great would it be to be able to study biology, history, math, or the law, just for fun?

  11. My favorite cause of death was “Don’t know, was dead when I got here.”

    sactosintolerant: If it doesn’t violate privacy laws, let us know when you see your first dissolving CIA death dart cause of death.

  12. It’s a problem, I mean a problem for retirees in general. When I told my family physician that I was retiring, he got all agitated and grilled me about what I was going to do and making me promise to stay involved and active. My friend told me about his father who retired and then got very involved into renovating his house. But when he finished, he “just sat down” and went into decline.

    I have this blog which takes a considerable amount of mental effort and enthusiasm. I travel, have church activities, but unfortunately no family nearby.

    Thrifty: I’ve often wondered how retired people manage.

  13. Paul Pieniezny says:

    Dave B.:
    Well, that’s the natural progression.

    In a liitle Flemish town a maternity ward+children’s hospital was turned into a school in the sixties (not enough births). It became an old people’s home in the nineties (not enough children).

    And now – older people are healthier and stay on their own as long as possible and it is too expensive to change the accommodation to suit people over 90.

    It is now standing empty and will be torn down to make place for … a school, as the birth rate is rising again.

    Plus ca change, et plus ca reste la meme chose, Emmerich would have said.

  14. Thrifty says:

    My mother retired about 4 years ago at the age of 58 and seems to keep fairly active somehow. She’s into some religious and political stuff that we don’t talk about for the sake of family harmony.

    My grandmother never retired. I’m not sure if this was because she couldn’t or because she just didn’t want to. She worked at the rest stop along I-95 in Delaware (and I can use the definite article ‘the’ because our only interstate has only one rest stop) until about this time in 2001. She was in her mid 80s and only stopped because she had a stroke which didn’t kill her, but her age made recovery impossible.

    I often wonder if I’ll end up like my mother or my grandmother when I’m older. Oh well… I’ve got at least 3 decades to decide.

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    It’s a problem, I mean a problem for retirees in general. When I told my family physician that I was retiring, he got all agitated and grilled me about what I was going to do and making me promise to stay involved and active. My friend told me about his father who retired and then got very involved into renovating his house. But when he finished, he “just sat down” and went into decline.

    I have this blog which takes a considerable amount of mental effort and enthusiasm. I travel, have church activities, but unfortunately no family nearby.

  15. JPotter says:

    Relegated to death certificates? Darn those conflicts of interest.

    If you’d like to take your blog off the deep end with death-related matters, the “Obama killed Breitbart” poo is still stinking.

    I hope the new contract is stimulating!

    I’d be willing to risk the boredom of retirement.

  16. Keith says:

    Thrifty: I’ve often wondered how retired people manage.

    I’m working on my Croquet Players Handicap Card reporting program. I’ve now got a ‘magic’ database update schema working, but in the process I broke the UI field bindings. As soon as I get that cleaned up and the rest of the program finished I can get some people to start flogging it to see if they can break it.

    Then I can get back to the main game, and finally finish my Wine Collection Catalog program that has suffered from database update schema problems forever. So I can convert to the schema system I developed for the the Croquet program, but that will be harder because the field bindings are more complicated, what with DBGrids and such that will have to be proxied.

    At the same time I should get around to learning Android development and build a Croquet Match umpires clock and score card app for Android phones, and maybe see how my new Delphi IDE can build iPhone apps in case the umpires have them instead of Androids (except I don’t have an iPhone to test it with – and who has iPhones anymore anyway?).

    In my spare time I need to convert my much ignored blog from Nucleus to WordPress. Nucleus seems ugly and really hard to work with to make an attractive site, and it just doesn’t encourage me to want to blog when it is too ugly to want anybody to look at it.

    And then there is the records case that I have been building for 2 years now and has been all ready to stain and varnish for a month and I’m just letting it slide longer. And the calendar made out of blocks that my wife wants for her desk. I think I’d better get that finished tonight, actually. I need to print some numbers onto decal paper, transfer them to the prepared blocks and give ’em a few coats of polyurethane. I should be able to stretch that out for a week or two, easy.

  17. See video here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQAySs1Fa98&feature=player_embedded

    Keith: and maybe see how my new Delphi IDE can build iPhone apps

  18. Keith says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    See video here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQAySs1Fa98&feature=player_embedded

    Thanks, I hadn’t seen that one. But it is using PHP. I think Delphi and Firemonkey target iOS with native code. Or something. It appears you use Delphi anyway. I know theres vids out there and doco and examples. I just won’t get to them for 6 months at the rate I’m going.

    Android development is currently through Eclipse. That works pretty well (except for having to use Java, of course). I’m just experimenting with the screen design XML for now.

    Code Gear does have a lot of feedback that people want Android development added into RAD Studio. We’ll see what happens.

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