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Woodman retires–goes out with a blast

Tea Party Conservative John Woodman, famous for his seminal work on Barack Obama’s long-form birth certificate, Is Barack Obama’s Birth Certificate a Fraud?, has announced his retirement from the birther business. John has proven a tireless seeker of facts, and has earned the deep respect of many of us familiar with his work.

In addition to his book and YouTube videos on Obama’s birth credentials, John has written probably even more about the question of presidential eligibility on his blog: Investigating the Obama Birth Mysteries. Now, as a parting gift to the Country, John has produced a magisterial multipart work on “The Historical Meaning of ‘Natural Born Citizen’” that will be released in installments starting with Part 1, which is published this evening. You can be sure that his treatment of the subject will be thorough and balanced, as have all of his publications to date.

If you’d like to thank John, visit his blog for the retirement party, and BUY THE BOOK! This blog has 20,000 readers and I know you haven’t all bought a copy yet.

57 Responses to Woodman retires–goes out with a blast

  1. avatar
    The Magic M July 4, 2012 at 5:14 am #

    Maybe WND will honour him with a final hit piece titled “Top Obot operative goes into hiding”, subtitled “Vindication day for ‘birthers’ near – any day now!”. 😉

  2. avatar
    GreatKim July 4, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    after the upholding of Obamacare the movemeent seems dead to me. I am not able to make a precise cause and effect relationship beyond guessing a generic loss of momentum within the wide bash-all-things Obama alliance of which birtherism has been an important part.

  3. avatar
    The Magic M July 4, 2012 at 8:40 am #

    > after the upholding of Obamacare the movemeent seems dead to me

    Why? Birtherism was never about Obamacare, or Obama’s politics in general. It was always about finding clever euphemisms for “a black guy can’t be President”.

    And the ACA ruling just gives birthers another tangent to go off on – just the other day Jedi Pauly on WND tried to convince me that SCOTUS upholding the act 5-4 actually means the opposite (arguing effectively along the lines of “if the act were constitutional, it would have passed 9-0, but it hasn’t, therefore it’s unconstitutional, therefore it was struck down, therefore we won”).

    I read the other day that experts suspect Alzheimer’s disease can be contagious. The first proof is Orly’s “WKA wasn’t a unanimous decision, therefore it isn’t precedent” argument bleeding over to other birther legal “experts”.

  4. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    I bought John’s book but only read about an 8th of it. It’s a good and informative book, but it just doesn’t hold my interest enough. Also I thought to myself “I know the birth certificate is genuine. Why do I need to study it?”

  5. avatar
    john July 4, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    We will have to see where Sheriff Apraio’s 2nd Press Conference takes things. According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away. The 2nd Press Conference is supposed to report findings from the investigation in Hawaii. Will the Hawaii DOH be directly implicated in the cover up regarding Obama’s Birth Certificate? We will soon know.

  6. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 9:02 am #

    I think it would be just the opposite actually. The Supreme Court’s upholding of the PPAC Act would give Birthers renewed vigor to get Obama declared ineligible so they can press the magic reset button and make the law disappear.

    GreatKim:
    after the upholding of Obamacare the movemeent seems dead to me. I am not able to make a precise cause and effect relationship beyond guessing a generic loss of momentum within the wide bash-all-things Obama alliance of which birtherism has been an important part.

  7. avatar
    Majority Will July 4, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Thrifty: Also I thought to myself “I know the birth certificate is genuine. Why do I need to study it?”

    To reveal the cleverly hidden winning lottery numbers embedded in the security paper.

  8. avatar
    Lupin July 4, 2012 at 9:18 am #

    john: According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.

    That Arpaio is wanted in Mexico?
    http://www.artotyrite.org/arpaio.jpg

  9. avatar
    Lupin July 4, 2012 at 9:19 am #

    Thrifty: I bought John’s book but only read about an 8th of it. It’s a good and informative book, but it just doesn’t hold my interest enough. Also I thought to myself “I know the birth certificate is genuine. Why do I need to study it?”

    It’s what Monty Python called the “bleeding obvious”.

  10. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 4, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    That’s a safe bet. Arpaio will imply, but provide no proof, and he will never file a charge.

    john: the Hawaii DOH be directly implicated in the cover up regarding Obama’s Birth Certificate? We will soon know.

  11. avatar
    richCares July 4, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    OMG “the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.”
    sure john, sure, click that PayPal!

  12. avatar
    James M July 4, 2012 at 10:22 am #

    john:
    We will have to see where Sheriff Apraio’s 2nd Press Conference takes things.According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.The 2nd Press Conference is supposed to report findings from the investigation in Hawaii.Will the Hawaii DOH be directly implicated in the cover up regarding Obama’s Birth Certificate?We will soon know.

    If the allegation is forgery, we’ve provided you with the forger’s name and the means to deliver your evidence and eyewitness testimony, and you have not risen to the occasion.

    You have no evidence of forgery.

    If you do have evidence of forgery, then you have withheld it from the authorities, making you an accessory to the crime.

    Which is it? Choose wisely, because while one possibility is that you are a liar, the other is that you are a criminal.

  13. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 10:35 am #

    Will it take things anywhere in the vicinity of arrest warrants, indictments, or anything resembling actual police work? Or will it be more bluster and bullshit, with no actual activity that could conceivably require any danger or hard work on Arpaio’s behalf.

    I’m thinking something like “We are getting so close! We just need another $10,000 for another fact finding mission to sunny Hawaii. Please send by way of Western Union or Money Gram.”

    john: We will have to see where Sheriff Apraio’s 2nd Press Conference takes things. According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.

  14. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    Or maybe the next Arpaio press conference will go like this:

    Arpaio: “We have discovered the proof that Barack Obama was born in Kenya.”

    He’ll then hold up several sheets of children’s construction paper.

    Arpaio: “For security reasons, we needed to coat the documents with a special dye, so that we could smuggle it out of Kenya. In order to restore them to readable form, we will need a special chemical solution, costing a total of $250,000. Please send donations now.”

  15. avatar
    richCares July 4, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    it would be fun to have real press attend the July 17 campaign smear, but they probably won’t, Joe is a joke in Arizona.

  16. avatar
    Scientist July 4, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    john: According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.

    john: Which do you think is more significant, Sheriff Joe’s “discoveries” or the announcement that the Higgs boson has been sighted? This is a serious question, in case you’re wondering.

  17. avatar
    GeorgetownJD July 4, 2012 at 11:13 am #

    I just love a principled conservative. I HEART John Woodman.

  18. avatar
    GeorgetownJD July 4, 2012 at 11:18 am #

    john:
    We will have to see where Sheriff Apraio’s 2nd Press Conference takes things.According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.

    I have no doubt that Sheriff Joe will try to take my breath away. Unfortunately, his deputies have successfully done that to more than a few inmates.

  19. avatar
    The Magic M July 4, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    GeorgetownJD: I have no doubt that Sheriff Joe will try to take my breath away.

    Well, I gotta be careful my allergy doesn’t develop into full-blown asthma after I’ve laughed for hours after Clown Joe’s next presser. 😉

    Scientist: Which do you think is more significant, Sheriff Joe’s “discoveries” or the announcement that the Higgs boson has been sighted?

    It’s obvious the alleged “Higgs boson find” is just another false flag operation by Obama to take attention away from Joe’s magical mystery show.

    john: Will the Hawaii DOH be directly implicated in the cover up regarding Obama’s Birth Certificate?

    Well, the only thing I’m curious about is whether Joe will come up with something brand-new this time (for the first time) and not something pimped on WND and elsewhere before. The “Onaka stamp” meme might qualify (after all, there was no series of WND articles on that particular subject) and maybe also Mara Zebest’s latest folly on blurry pictures (now *that* would leave me disappointed), but I wonder if there’s gonna be more.

    After all, I’m in it for the entertainment and I really don’t want to see yet another rehash of “what does Soebarkah mean” or “why did he retire his law license” or “here’s the Ayers’ postman who thinks he met Obama”.

    So I’m really waiting for the lunacy to hit a new high with this.

    Luckily the presser falls into my holidays so I will be able to watch no matter what local time it is (can anybody help me out what the time will be in Central European Summer Time?)

  20. avatar
    Scientist July 4, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    The Magic M: It’s obvious the alleged “Higgs boson find” is just another false flag operation by Obama to take attention away from Joe’s magical mystery show.

    And they did it in the homeland of the sainted Emer de Vattel. Those O=bots hve no shame!

    The Magic M: (can anybody help me out what the time will be in Central European Summer Time?)

    Arizona is one of those weird places that doesn’t use Daylight Savings Time. In summer they are 9 hrs behind Germany. In winter, they are only 8 hours behind you.

  21. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    No matter how hard I try, I cannot understand the significance of the discovery of the Higgs Boson, or why it is significant. Still, I’m sure it’s more significant than Sherriff Joe’s work. My discovery of an extra 12 pack of Coke Zero is more significant than Joe’s work.

    Scientist: john:Which do you think is more significant, Sheriff Joe’s “discoveries” or the announcement that the Higgs boson has been sighted?This is a serious question, in case you’re wondering.

  22. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    Time zones make my head spin sometimes. Fortunately, at my last job, we had an office in Phoenix. I worked at headquarters in Pennsylvania (nearish to Philadelphia). I always remembered that the Arizona office was 2 hours behind us during normal time (which, ironically, now comprises fewer days than the adjusted daylight saving time), but they fell 3 hours behind during the irregular DST months. Since we’re in DST now, it’s 3 hours before Eastern time. Dunno off the top of my head how that compares to Germany.

    I usually just look stuff up online to be certain. This site is pretty handy.

    The Magic M: Luckily the presser falls into my holidays so I will be able to watch no matter what local time it is (can anybody help me out what the time will be in Central European Summer Time?)

  23. avatar
    Reality Check July 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

    I guess it depends on who you define “significant”. If you are particle physicist it is a big deal of course. If you are a casual reader of physics books without the math as I am it is still a pretty big deal. Physics has not been able to explain why some particles have mass and some do not. The Higgs boson (or Higgs field if you prefer) helps give an answer to that question. If a particle does not interact with the field (think of a neutral particle in an electric field) it has no mass. If it interacts strongly then it has more mass.

    Like most discoveries at this basic level the implications of the discovery are unknown at the time. Back when Ernest Rutherford, Henri Becquerel and others looked at radioactive decay it was not obvious if there was any practical application either.

    Thrifty:
    No matter how hard I try, I cannot understand the significance of the discovery of the Higgs Boson, or why it is significant.Still, I’m sure it’s more significant than Sherriff Joe’s work.My discovery of an extra 12 pack of Coke Zero is more significant than Joe’s work.

  24. avatar
    bovril July 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

    As, in Birferstan, all that is old is new again…again….again…I predict that WND and Arp-Lio will ressurect the moldy oldy of Tim Adams and his amazing story of derring do at the HDoH.

  25. avatar
    Benji Franklin July 4, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    john: We will have to see where Sheriff Apraio’s 2nd Press Conference takes things.

    Yeah, John. I think we can safely assume Sheriff Joe’s 2nd Press Conference will “take things” to the same crapper Tim Adam’s affidavits “took things” before he tried to pass the Birther Baton to Sheriff Joe and instead, whacked him in the head.

    Here you’ll be 6 years from now after Obama finishes his second term, and his wife, the new President of the United States presides over the grand opening of his Presidential Library, posting another caution that World Nut Daily has found a “game-changing” witness to void the entire two terms of Obama’s legal footprint with “shocking” new information proving Obama was ineligible all along – you know – a man whose last name rhymes with something a parrot uttered when the parrot heard a child incorrectly describe the approximate shape of a shadow cast by Tim Adams in an online photo of an Adams press conference? You’ll say then, “Let’s see where this takes us!”

    But it will be Presidents Obama that will say then, “This is not going away!”

  26. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    I’m speculating that they will focus on Zebest’s “Huwaii”, and the Mafia birth certificate ring in Hawaii.

    I said that Sheriff Joe will never file charges, but I am not convinced of that. He’s brought false charges against political enemies before. He might be crazy enough, and close enough to retirement to try it. Such a move would take birtherism to a whole new level.

    The Magic M: Well, the only thing I’m curious about is whether Joe will come up with something brand-new this time

  27. avatar
    Rickey July 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    Scientist:

    Arizona is one of those weird places that doesn’t use Daylight Savings Time.

    Actually, it makes perfect sense in Arizona. It is so hot there in summer that the last thing that they need is an extra hour of daylight.

  28. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    My desk clock has a “Honolulu” button on it (as well as other cities). I just press the button to see what time it is somewhere else. Not so good for Sydney, though, since I’m on Daylight Savings Time and they are Standard time. And then there is Brisbane — don’t get me started.

    Thrifty: Time zones make my head spin sometimes

  29. avatar
    Rickey July 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:

    I said that Sheriff Joe will never file charges, but I am not convinced of that. He’s brought false charges against political enemies before. He might be crazy enough, and close enough to retirement to try it. Such a move would take birtherism to a whole new level.

    But who would he file charges against? What Arizona statute would he claim has been broken? And given his recent history, is there a prosecutor in Arizona who would be stupid enough to take the case?

  30. avatar
    Thrifty July 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm #

    They should just standardize the times and do away with time zones! I don’t care if it’s pitch black at 12 noon in Sydney. The Aussies can develop better night vision. That’s what evolution is for!

    Actually I was just looking at a map of time zones. I’ll bet it’s a real headache if you’re doing frequent travel near the international date line. One moment it’s 8:30 AM today, then a short boat ride later and it’s suddenly 7:45 AM tomorrow morning. That much time travel can’t be healthy on the body. Unless you get plenty of riboflavin.

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    My desk clock has a “Honolulu” button on it (as well as other cities). I just press the button to see what time it is somewhere else. Not so good for Sydney, though, since I’m on Daylight Savings Time and they are Standard time. And then there is Brisbane — don’t get me started.

  31. avatar
    Sam the Centipede July 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

    Thrifty:
    Actually I was just looking at a map of time zones.I’ll bet it’s a real headache if you’re doing frequent travel near the international date line.One moment it’s 8:30 AM today, then a short boat ride later and it’s suddenly 7:45 AM tomorrow morning.That much time travel can’t be healthy on the body.Unless you get plenty of riboflavin.

    That’s why Samoa and Tokelau skipped over the date line last year – they were on the same day as the US but found most of their trade was in the other direction, with Australia, New Zealand, etc. It’s bad for business if a company in one country is closed on a Sunday with its workers down at the beach while its potential customers are in the middle of the Monday morning panic.

  32. avatar
    John Woodman July 4, 2012 at 7:23 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy,

    Thanks so much for letting folks here know of my retirement party — it’s appreciated. And I would definitely say you and Lupin have added some additional substance to the discussion. 😀

    I’ve personally invited several dozen birthers to the party, actually — including quite a few names that folks would know. Maybe it’s just that it’s the 4th of July and they’re busy. So far, I don’t seem to have any comments from the birther side.

    As far as Arpaio’s upcoming press conference, I would tend to expect pretty much what others have suggested: Innuendos without any proof (“we have a very good idea now who the forger is”), recycled bits of already debunked “evidence” that they didn’t get to last time, and one or two creative new allegations that will be easily debunkable. One never knows until the press conference, though.

  33. avatar
    Keith July 4, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    My desk clock has a “Honolulu” button on it (as well as other cities). I just press the button to see what time it is somewhere else. Not so good for Sydney, though, since I’m on Daylight Savings Time and they are Standard time. And then there is Brisbane — don’t get me started.

    Yeah Queensland doesn’t use DST, so they are ‘interesting’ just like Arizona. And just about every Australian state chooses a different set of dates to switch.

    But if you really want a headache, try figuring out Adelaide. A famous watchmaker who shall remain nameless once had to recall all their $8000 a copy watches from around the world because they screwed up the South Australian time zone calculation.

    I’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure that one out.

  34. avatar
    JPotter July 4, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

    Re: the press conference ….. the world-shattering little leak is that there are multiple ‘Onaka’ stamps ‘floating around’.

    Ohhhhh-kayyyyy.

    So what? Stamps are inexpensive. I hope they get creative and have one made, and then claim that they took it. The birthers would eat it up, meanwhile the rest of the world would be flummoxed. “You spent 10 G’s … to go to Hawaii …. to steal office supplies?!?”

    By ‘floating around’ … do they mean there are so many that they’re literally floating in the surf? Even if it’s like a plague of stamps, and people have to constantly shovel them out of their drives … so what?

    Catch someone playing fast and loose with the state seal, and at least you may have a criminal offense.

  35. avatar
    Rickey July 4, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

    Thrifty:

    Actually I was just looking at a map of time zones.I’ll bet it’s a real headache if you’re doing frequent travel near the international date line.One moment it’s 8:30 AM today, then a short boat ride later and it’s suddenly 7:45 AM tomorrow morning.That much time travel can’t be healthy on the body.Unless you get plenty of riboflavin.

    I crossed the International Date Line at sea four times while I was in the Navy. It certainly messed up our work schedule. I worked in communications, where we had two clocks. Our work schedules were based upon local time, but our message processing was based upon Greenwich Mean Time.

  36. avatar
    bgansel9 July 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

    john: According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.

    When this fails (and it will, unless they can provide proof and back it up with activity to file legal action AND successfully use that proof to remove the president just as you wish would happen, but won’t) will you finally agree that you’ve been duped?

  37. avatar
    richCares July 4, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

    “…agree that you’ve been duped?”
    poor john has had more than 7 OMG failures, he will continue searching for them.

  38. avatar
    bgansel9 July 4, 2012 at 11:24 pm #

    richCares: poor john has had more than 7 OMG failures, he will continue searching for them

    I’ve always wondered why/how needles end up in haystacks. How many people do you think actually sew around haystacks?

  39. avatar
    Keith July 5, 2012 at 3:06 am #

    bgansel9: I’ve always wondered why/how needles end up in haystacks. How many people do you think actually sew around haystacks?

    I knew a guy that put a gash in his arm working on a combine harvester one time. It took 12 stitches IIRC – and his wife did it – in the field.

  40. avatar
    The Magic M July 5, 2012 at 3:32 am #

    JPotter: I hope they get creative and have one made, and then claim that they took it.

    I think they will have one made, be open about it and then conclude “therefore any document stamped by Onaka can’t be trusted since anyone could’ve made that stamp”.
    Simply a rehash of the pseudo argument “since we were able to puzzle together the PDF BC on a computer, it means the PDF on the WH website is forged, too”.

  41. avatar
    The Magic M July 5, 2012 at 3:38 am #

    Scientist: And they did it in the homeland of the sainted Emer de Vattel. Those O=bots hve no shame!

    And don’t forget they found yet another type of citizen, the LHC (large hadron citizen – or is it lawfully Hawaiian citizen?)!

    Scientist: In summer they are 9 hrs behind Germany.

    Thanks!

    Dr. Conspiracy: I’m speculating that they will focus on Zebest’s “Huwaii”, and the Mafia birth certificate ring in Hawaii.

    The former would disappoint me, but then again it would be a major letdown to birthers as well. But given the poor response the “Huwaii” issue got on ORYR (maybe they used it as a test environment to see what would fly), they’d be dumber than I thought if they made that their main argument. Even the birther crowd didn’t buy over-analyzing blurry images.

    The latter, well, it would depend how much they could actually present about that. Remember birtherism doesn’t just float on long sermons alone, they need at least some documents they can point to as “evidence”. Just a lot of vague talk won’t cut it (this is only good for filler on WND), that’s why previous Arpaio pressers never mentioned any of the vague stuff you can read on WND (as in “contacts close to Congress admit Congress is afraid of race riots” or “several ex-CIA agents pronounced the BC a forgery” etc.).

  42. avatar
    JPotter July 5, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    The Magic M: “since we were able to puzzle together the PDF BC on a computer, it means the PDF on the WH website is forged, too”.

    They’ve never demonstrated putting together a birth certificate, just demonstrated playuing around with the WH file, right? The BC could be made from scratch, but why would wnyone want to? Would also be a pretty boring video! I would also like to hear the explanation for various arbitrary side effects. Why would a person take the time to make different elements slightly different shades of grey-green and place then as separate bitmap layers? “Ummm .. for the hell of it?”

  43. avatar
    John Woodman July 5, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    I actually just commented on this over at my blog. Not the retirement article, but somewhere else.

    Ron Polland spent — as I recall — weeks coming up with a “duplicate” of the White House PDF. What he produced was a poor imitation of the original. If you took a casual glance at it, yeah, it looked similar. But it lacked most if not all of the characteristics of optimization present in the White House PDF. For example, it didn’t have the to-the-pixel duplicate letters, both in the typed information but more importantly in the letters of the form, which we know to be characteristic of optimization because they are present in documents at Google books that are known to have been scanned and optimized.

    So Polland’s weeks of effort were basically a great exercise in showing the utter ridiculousness of the idea that somebody had created the PDF by hand.

  44. avatar
    JPotter July 5, 2012 at 11:27 am #

    John Woodman: I actually just commented on this over at my blog. Not the retirement article, but somewhere else. Ron Polland spent — as I recall — weeks coming up with a “duplicate” of the White House PDF. What he produced was a poor imitation of the original. If you took a casual glance at it, yeah, it looked similar. But it lacked most if not all of the characteristics of optimization present in the White House PDF. For example, it didn’t have the to-the-pixel duplicate letters, both in the typed information but more importantly in the letters of the form, which we know to be characteristic of optimization because they are present in documents at Google books that are known to have been scanned and optimized.So Polland’s weeks of effort were basically a great exercise in showing the utter ridiculousness of the idea that somebody had created the PDF by hand.

    Thanks, JW! Yes, I recall Polland’s “effort”. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t something at one of Arpaio’s tent meetings I had missed.

    I put together a “birther-friendly”, 300dpi version of the LFBC, from the ABC News scan. Placed it over a digitally created pattern, simulated a seal, and have run it by some birthers. Asked them if they would have been happier had the file looked like this. It should … to a trained eye, it’s just too clean, too antiseptic. It is suspicious! The birthers never have commented.

    No matter what the file looked like, it was always going to be a forgery. A cleaner version might have provided fewer “talking points” … and fewer educational opportunities!

  45. avatar
    John Woodman July 5, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    No matter what the file looked like, it was always going to be a forgery.

    Exactly.

    By the way, the person I’m talking with over at my blog reports (I haven’t verified this) that it took Polland 800 hours to create his “duplicate.”

    That’s FIVE MONTHS.

    And he came nowhere near actually duplicating the characteristics of the PDF that are known to be created in moments through optimization.

  46. avatar
    JPotter July 5, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    John Woodman: the person I’m talking with over at my blog reports (I haven’t verified this) that it took Polland 800 hours to create his “duplicate.”

    That’s nuts! Is it a birther amking a silly claim (tons of work = quality!), or something relayed from Polland? 800 hrs isn’t hard work, it’s ineptitude!

  47. avatar
    Scientist July 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    John Woodman: Ron Polland spent — as I recall — weeks coming up with a “duplicate” of the White House PDF.

    What, may I ask, is the point of such an exercise? Is it to show that documents can be forged? Of course they can. They recently caught some local kids with fake NY drivers licences with altered birth dates that they were using to get served in bars. They were ordered over the internet from China at $75/each and were so good that people from the DMV couldn’t tell they were fake by looking at them. Of course, they could tell by checking the records that the names and photos were correct, but the DOBs were altered.

    So, a forger could make a certificate that would look good enough to fool even Hawaii DOH. But it wouldn’t match the file records. And in the President’s case, we know it does, unless the entire DOH is part of some enormous conspiracy (to what benefit for them exactly?). And if they were, then there would be no need to forge the document, since DOH would themselves produce the fake.

    Besides, the story of a young girl trekking alone to Africa to give birth is too absurd to take seriously, even if all records were to be destroyed in a monstrous tsunami. The birthers lost me ab initio by not bothering to come up with a credible story to support their absurd claims.

  48. avatar
    BillTheCat July 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

    john: According to reports the Conference will report shocking information and take your breath away.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Well, I just lost my breath laughing at that statement if that’s what you meant.

  49. avatar
    JPotter July 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    BillTheCat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWell, I just lost my breath laughing at that statement if that’s what you meant.

    You vant dem to say it vill be borink or sumzink?

    I have compared WND’s promos to those of pro wrestling and monster truck rallies. Now if only WND would schedule these for Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! at a civic center somewhere. Churches and basements put people to sleep.

  50. avatar
    Majority Will July 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    JPotter: You vant dem to say it vill be borink or sumzink?

    I have compared WND’s promos to those of pro wrestling and monster truck rallies. Now if only WND would schedule these for Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! at a civic center somewhere. Churches and basements put people to sleep.

    How do we make our idiotic stories sound believable? VOLUME! VOLUME! VOLUME!

  51. avatar
    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater (Bob Ross) July 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

    John Woodman: No matter what the file looked like, it was always going to be a forgery.Exactly.By the way, the person I’m talking with over at my blog reports (I haven’t verified this) that it took Polland 800 hours to create his “duplicate.” That’s FIVE MONTHS.And he came nowhere near actually duplicating the characteristics of the PDF that are known to be created in moments through optimization.

    I wonder how long it took him to create the short form with the crooked Prima Facie statement on the bottom.

  52. avatar
    Northland10 July 5, 2012 at 6:16 pm #

    French Organ music would solve the problem of sleeping in church. VOLUME! VOLUME! VOLUME!

    Add large amounts of incense and when some people complain of getting headaches, tell them it is the spirit speaking.

    JPotter: You vant dem to say it vill be borink or sumzink?

    I have compared WND’s promos to those of pro wrestling and monster truck rallies. Now if only WND would schedule these for Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! at a civic center somewhere. Churches and basements put people to sleep.

  53. avatar
    John Woodman July 5, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

    Part Two is now published!

    I think interested parties are likely to find some additional information they probably haven’t read before. 😉

  54. avatar
    Keith July 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    JPotter: You vant dem to say it vill be borink or sumzink?

    I have compared WND’s promos to those of pro wrestling and monster truck rallies. Now if only WND would schedule these for Sunday! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! at a civic center somewhere. Churches and basements put people to sleep.

    There’s an app for that.

  55. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    It’s true.

    John Woodman: I think interested parties are likely to find some additional information they probably haven’t read before.

  56. avatar
    Kate1230 July 10, 2012 at 6:35 am #

    I just bought a copy for myself and sent one to a few relatives who happen to be Conservative and who argue with some of their RWNJ friends about the idiocy found within the birther community. This will help them answer a lot of the questions that are posed to them. Although half of the family happens to be Conservative, they are still voting for President Obama, AGAIN, in 2012. McCain’s crazy V.P. pick of Palin and the lack of a decent Republican candidate has them becoming further entrenched within the Progressive community. Their views are more in line with the RNC of thirty to forty years ago, the same views that would have them declared RINO’s today. They’re of the belief that the current Republican party will die out due to the insanity within. I can’t think of a better ending for them.

    Thank you, John, for such a thorough debunking of the craziness that has been put forth as if it is legitimate info that was researched by competent individuals when we all know the opposite is true. Enjoy your “retirement”.

  57. avatar
    G July 10, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    I know a lot of those type of people too and share a number of their positions, so I can totally relate. The conclusion that you’ve drawn is the same that they and I keep coming to as well, when we discuss such things. We actually think the inevitable eventual collapse will be a good thing in the long term and is necessary for a sane alternative party option to reemerge.

    Kate1230: Although half of the family happens to be Conservative, they are still voting for President Obama, AGAIN, in 2012. McCain’s crazy V.P. pick of Palin and the lack of a decent Republican candidate has them becoming further entrenched within the Progressive community. Their views are more in line with the RNC of thirty to forty years ago, the same views that would have them declared RINO’s today. They’re of the belief that the current Republican party will die out due to the insanity within. I can’t think of a better ending for them.