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Doc answers the spammers (Part 2)

Since I started Obama Conspiracy Theories, there have been 81,734 comments left by spammers (it was around 40,000 when I wrote my first “Doc answers the spammers” article). These comments aren’t remotely related to the site topic, but are commercial advertisements, or links to unrelated web sites. There’s not a whole lot that one can do about stopping comment spam at the source, but there are hugely effective tools to filter it out.

I thought I would share a little from the dark side of Obama Conspiracy Theories and say what I would like to say if I had these folks face to face.

  • Evening Dresses: Wow! This site is sick! How did you  make it look this good !?
  • Doc: I always remember to clean up the vomit from spammers like you.

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  • Doc: You are better off not knowing.

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  • Doc: Huh?

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20 Responses to Doc answers the spammers (Part 2)

  1. avatar
    G September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

  2. avatar
    Daniel September 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    G:
    Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

    You only need one sucker in a million to turn a profit. If nothing else, birthers have taught us that much

  3. avatar
    Arthur September 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm #

    four many years suffering the internet has alway been doing one activity of which I am most overjoyed to fuction., Now your site, so filled as it is with weighty matters and insignificant ranting has literally caught my eye in a trap of awesome. where did you get the idea for this kind of brilliant putting ideas down on pen and paper and then transfercation into digital system?? surely, you are not even the millioneth one to do this, yet your fabrication is uniquely unusual in its ability to refuse disinterest. While you probably have already cured erection problems, can we talk further about missing exstasy?Also, comfortable shoes for dialysis inspecxtion.

  4. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG September 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

    And yet they are still more intelligible than a conversation with a birther.

  5. avatar
    Patrick McKinnion September 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    Ah, I see you get the same spammers I get.

  6. avatar
    Rob September 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm #

    I don’t get it. What benefit do the spammers get by having comment on weblogs? Or do their comments come with a link for their crap?

  7. avatar
    Rickey September 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm #

    Rob:
    I don’t get it. What benefit do the spammers get by having comment on weblogs? Or do their comments come with a link for their crap?

    Generally they come with a link, and Doc is too astute to let the links be seen.Every open forum is vulnerable to spammers, but Doc’s filters obviously work very well.

  8. avatar
    misha September 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Excellent watches cheep!! Prices include shipping! You’ll be impressed with names!!

    Hello, and I hope the lord finds you well. I am the heress to fortune in Senegal, when I learned a long lost relative died in Nigeria.

    Hi luv! I heard about you from relatives in Senegal and would like to visit. Could you send plane fare? [Picture attached of very pretty teenager]

    I guess they switched to Senegal from Nigeria.

    Hello. I am the director of Public Works in Lagos, Nigeria. We have a cost overrun. [e-mail addy ends in .il] As if I would not notice the e-mail came from Israel.

    I sent back this: Bonjour! En hébreu, SVP.

    This is my favorite: Hello my love. I want to visit you. I heard great things about you…

    I sent back this: Thanks for writing. I am in a state hospital. I killed my wife only because she was going to kill me first with her ray gun. If you come here, we can be married in the chapel, and it will help get me released. I’m not allowed to have a checking account, so sent me your postal address and I’ll send a money order, as soon as I get a pass. I attached a photo of someone in a gown and wheelchair.

    Never heard back.

  9. avatar
    misha September 12, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

    My building’s freight elevator operator was told by the doorman, that he earned $5,000 in tips last month. More at imAjerk.com

  10. avatar
    Keith September 12, 2012 at 8:19 pm #

    misha: I sent back this: Thanks for writing. I am in a state hospital. I killed my wife only because she was going to kill me first with her ray gun. If you come here, we can be married in the chapel, and it will help get me released. I’m not allowed to have a checking account, so sent me your postal address and I’ll send a money order, as soon as I get a pass. I attached a photo of someone in a gown and wheelchair.

    Never heard back.

    You are an amateur scambaiter. Check out the pros at 419eaters.com. Clicking on the “ScamTracker” button goes to a map of the world with a summary of recent scamming activity.

    Some of their trophies here: Trophy Room

    Don’t forget to check out their “Hall of Shame” too.

    PLEASE: remember 419Eater’s warning: These guys are criminals. Don’t try scambaiting them unless you really know what you are doing. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY PERSONAL DETAILS.

  11. avatar
    Thrifty September 13, 2012 at 10:17 am #

    G:
    Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

    Isn’t it usually a tool to sneak past spam filters? Like, aside from that weird word salad, there’s usually a legitimate pitch for some awful product or obvious scam.

  12. avatar
    The Magic M September 13, 2012 at 11:22 am #

    G: Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

    Each spam comes with (at least) a link. Either people click it (and the spammer wins) or it inflates the spammer’s Google rank (and the spammer wins) because that way many (respectable) sites link back to his.

    The word salad is meant to fool both automated spam checkers (but modern Bayesian filters can’t be fooled by that) and the casual moderator (who thinks it’s just another positive feedback).

  13. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy September 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    I selected some of the most finely chopped of the word salad examples. Lots of the time, the comment is “Awesome post!”

    The Magic M: The word salad is meant to fool both automated spam checkers (but modern Bayesian filters can’t be fooled by that) and the casual moderator (who thinks it’s just another positive feedback).

  14. avatar
    bgansel9 September 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

    “The morgue is filled with compromise.” – Uhhh, WHA???

  15. avatar
    bgansel9 September 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    I thought several of these sounded like the chopped English that a certain Moldavian often uses. 😛

  16. avatar
    foreigner September 14, 2012 at 8:12 am #

    if this sort of “communication” somehow being considered funny
    or “cool” these days ?

  17. avatar
    G September 14, 2012 at 11:54 am #

    Neither. Spammers are just annoying and sad.

    foreigner: if this sort of “communication” somehow being considered funnyor “cool” these days ?

  18. avatar
    DPM September 16, 2012 at 3:57 am #

    You realize that most of those comments are being submitted by ‘bots, right? If you did not, does that mean they passed the Turing test?

    A friend of mine recently spent most of his day removing similar spam comments from one of his client’s sites (a site he developed and maintains). I asked couldn’t he automate the removal process, but it sounded like the bots are becoming too clever for that to work.

  19. avatar
    Thrifty September 18, 2012 at 7:16 am #

    I dabbled in scambaiting a bit back in 2009. I keep meaning to pick it up again, but procrastination wins. I did 2 scam baits, which I’m proud of, but were nothing to write home about. I think I was so in awe of the greats, getting their great trophies and sending scammers on these long trips (the one that sent the guy to a remote area of Chad for 3 months was so epic that it was featured on an episode of This American Life). I got so discouraged that I wouldn’t be able to measure up to the greats that I just gave up.

    I didn’t get much in the way of trophies. I did publish my two baits. Here they are:

    Lester Digits vs. Clement Morgan Part One and Part Two.

    Resturanteur Howard M. Bergers vs Fraizer Williams, Griffon Bank, and Fountain Trust Limited. Howard ran Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes chain of fine eateries.

    On a later scambait, which I never really finished or published, I pulled out Howard M. Bergers again. This time, I got the scammer Johnson Emmanuel to fill out a franchise application for Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes.

    Keith: You are an amateur scambaiter. Check out the pros at 419eaters.com. Clicking on the “ScamTracker” button goes to a map of the world with a summary of recent scamming activity.

    Some of their trophies here: Trophy Room

    Don’t forget to check out their “Hall of Shame” too.

    PLEASE: remember 419Eater’s warning: These guys are criminals. Don’t try scambaiting them unless you really know what you are doing. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY PERSONAL DETAILS.

  20. avatar
    G September 18, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    Thrifty, I really enjoyed reading your reports. Entertaining!

    Hey, one problem to fix: You put the link to the “part one” document for both parts one and two…so I’m dying to get to read the actual “part two”.

    Thrifty:
    I dabbled in scambaiting a bit back in 2009.I keep meaning to pick it up again, but procrastination wins.I did 2 scam baits, which I’m proud of, but were nothing to write home about.I think I was so in awe of the greats, getting their great trophies and sending scammers on these long trips (the one that sent the guy to a remote area of Chad for 3 months was so epic that it was featured on an episode of This American Life).I got so discouraged that I wouldn’t be able to measure up to the greats that I just gave up.

    I didn’t get much in the way of trophies.I did publish my two baits.Here they are:

    Lester Digits vs. Clement Morgan Part One and Part Two.

    Resturanteur Howard M. Bergers vs Fraizer Williams, Griffon Bank, and Fountain Trust Limited.Howard ran Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes chain of fine eateries.

    On a later scambait, which I never really finished or published, I pulled out Howard M. Bergers again.This time, I got the scammer Johnson Emmanuel to fill out a franchise application for Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes.