Doc answers the spammers (Part 2)

Since I started Obama Conspiracy Theories, there have been 81,734 comments left by spammers (it was around 40,000 when I wrote my first “Doc answers the spammers” article). These comments aren’t remotely related to the site topic, but are commercial advertisements, or links to unrelated web sites. There’s not a whole lot that one can do about stopping comment spam at the source, but there are hugely effective tools to filter it out.

I thought I would share a little from the dark side of Obama Conspiracy Theories and say what I would like to say if I had these folks face to face.

  • Evening Dresses: Wow! This site is sick! How did you  make it look this good !?
  • Doc: I always remember to clean up the vomit from spammers like you.

  • bail bonds maryland: Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told was once a entertainment account it. Look advanced to more introduced agreeable from you! By the way, how could we be in contact?
  • Doc: Don’t call us. We’ll call you.

  • twin towers: You’re actually a good webmaster. The website loading pace is incredible. It kind of feels that you’re doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterwork. you’ve done a excellent task on this subject!
  • Doc: You’re a terrible spammer. You spam is inept and poorly done.

  • Apple iPhone: Your article is loaded with wonderful information. You’ve really turned on my thinking cap for me by making many valid points. I concur with nearly all your points and I am thinking about the others.
  • Doc: I hope you drop your iPhone and break it.

  • gothic: Super !
  • Doc: Crappy !

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  • Doc: Thank you for going away.

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  • Doc: Having without consideration a fantastic repetition of your considerable trouble and it’s interaction with my lunch, and the lack of time to review overflowing response, I will pushing the Delete key with my massive thumb.

  • cheap proxy: certainly like your web-site however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to inform the truth on the other hand I’ll definitely come again again.
  • Doc: You might want to look at capitalization and punctuation. but please don’t come again.

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  • Doc: Break a leg.

  • plastic surgery: We’re a gaggle of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with helpful information to paintings on. You’ve performed an impressive activity and our entire community might be thankful to you.
  • Doc: You’re a danger to yourself and to the community. I’m calling the cops.

  • The New Food for your health: I do not even know how I finished up right here, however I assumed this publish used to be good. I don’t understand who you are however definitely you are going to a famous blogger in the event you are not already. Cheers!
  • Doc: Perhaps that “new food” is causing your blackouts.

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  • Doc: You are better off not knowing.

  • learn more: Remarkable things here. I’m very glad to see your article. Thank you a lot and I’m having a look ahead to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?
  • Doc: If you give me your address, I would be happy to drop a hammer on your head.

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  • Doc: Hmmm. Perhaps I could use your anger management course.

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  • Doc: The city or the vegetable?

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  • Doc: You can keep checking, but the spam filter is on all the time.

  • motorlie auto: I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It’s lovely price sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the internet will likely be much more helpful than ever before.
  • Doc: In my opinion, if all spammers shriveled up and died, the Internet would likely be much more helpful than ever before.

  • piese auto volkswagen: I just could not go away your web site before suggesting that I actually loved the usual information a person provide in your visitors? Is gonna be again ceaselessly in order to inspect new posts
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  • mymnflaxy:  Fibromyalgia causes joint pain, muscle to the accounts, to how they and have use of some of the areas available on your Marijuana licence. In most cases, it will take three weeks to process the ID in medical possession probably into any physical symptoms of withdraw.
  • Doc: Does marijuana help with the pain of spammers?

  • HeelsPeah: Most people agonize over the right colors for their hand towels, making it a tough decision.The morgue is filled with compromise. …  Although the majority of women like shopping, especially clothes, they can be stressed out too.From outlet stores to thrift shops, there are always purses, messenger bags and backpacks to be seen.In fact the greater the number of contributions made by each employee, the greater the greater the level of success you are likely to see in your business.
  • Doc: Huh?

  • SO DEP: hi!,I love your writing very much! proportion we be in contact extra about your post on AOL? I require an expert in this area to unravel my problem. Maybe that’s you! Taking a look ahead to look you.
  • Doc: I suggest you consult an expert in psychiatry.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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20 Responses to Doc answers the spammers (Part 2)

  1. G says:

    Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

  2. Daniel says:

    G:
    Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

    You only need one sucker in a million to turn a profit. If nothing else, birthers have taught us that much

  3. Arthur says:

    four many years suffering the internet has alway been doing one activity of which I am most overjoyed to fuction., Now your site, so filled as it is with weighty matters and insignificant ranting has literally caught my eye in a trap of awesome. where did you get the idea for this kind of brilliant putting ideas down on pen and paper and then transfercation into digital system?? surely, you are not even the millioneth one to do this, yet your fabrication is uniquely unusual in its ability to refuse disinterest. While you probably have already cured erection problems, can we talk further about missing exstasy?Also, comfortable shoes for dialysis inspecxtion.

  4. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    And yet they are still more intelligible than a conversation with a birther.

  5. Ah, I see you get the same spammers I get.

  6. Rob says:

    I don’t get it. What benefit do the spammers get by having comment on weblogs? Or do their comments come with a link for their crap?

  7. Rickey says:

    Rob:
    I don’t get it. What benefit do the spammers get by having comment on weblogs? Or do their comments come with a link for their crap?

    Generally they come with a link, and Doc is too astute to let the links be seen.Every open forum is vulnerable to spammers, but Doc’s filters obviously work very well.

  8. misha says:

    Excellent watches cheep!! Prices include shipping! You’ll be impressed with names!!

    Hello, and I hope the lord finds you well. I am the heress to fortune in Senegal, when I learned a long lost relative died in Nigeria.

    Hi luv! I heard about you from relatives in Senegal and would like to visit. Could you send plane fare? [Picture attached of very pretty teenager]

    I guess they switched to Senegal from Nigeria.

    Hello. I am the director of Public Works in Lagos, Nigeria. We have a cost overrun. [e-mail addy ends in .il] As if I would not notice the e-mail came from Israel.

    I sent back this: Bonjour! En hébreu, SVP.

    This is my favorite: Hello my love. I want to visit you. I heard great things about you…

    I sent back this: Thanks for writing. I am in a state hospital. I killed my wife only because she was going to kill me first with her ray gun. If you come here, we can be married in the chapel, and it will help get me released. I’m not allowed to have a checking account, so sent me your postal address and I’ll send a money order, as soon as I get a pass. I attached a photo of someone in a gown and wheelchair.

    Never heard back.

  9. misha says:

    My building’s freight elevator operator was told by the doorman, that he earned $5,000 in tips last month. More at imAjerk.com

  10. Keith says:

    misha: I sent back this: Thanks for writing. I am in a state hospital. I killed my wife only because she was going to kill me first with her ray gun. If you come here, we can be married in the chapel, and it will help get me released. I’m not allowed to have a checking account, so sent me your postal address and I’ll send a money order, as soon as I get a pass. I attached a photo of someone in a gown and wheelchair.

    Never heard back.

    You are an amateur scambaiter. Check out the pros at 419eaters.com. Clicking on the “ScamTracker” button goes to a map of the world with a summary of recent scamming activity.

    Some of their trophies here: Trophy Room

    Don’t forget to check out their “Hall of Shame” too.

    PLEASE: remember 419Eater’s warning: These guys are criminals. Don’t try scambaiting them unless you really know what you are doing. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY PERSONAL DETAILS.

  11. Thrifty says:

    G:
    Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

    Isn’t it usually a tool to sneak past spam filters? Like, aside from that weird word salad, there’s usually a legitimate pitch for some awful product or obvious scam.

  12. The Magic M says:

    G: Why do spammers think that utter word salad helps their cause?

    Each spam comes with (at least) a link. Either people click it (and the spammer wins) or it inflates the spammer’s Google rank (and the spammer wins) because that way many (respectable) sites link back to his.

    The word salad is meant to fool both automated spam checkers (but modern Bayesian filters can’t be fooled by that) and the casual moderator (who thinks it’s just another positive feedback).

  13. I selected some of the most finely chopped of the word salad examples. Lots of the time, the comment is “Awesome post!”

    The Magic M: The word salad is meant to fool both automated spam checkers (but modern Bayesian filters can’t be fooled by that) and the casual moderator (who thinks it’s just another positive feedback).

  14. bgansel9 says:

    “The morgue is filled with compromise.” – Uhhh, WHA???

  15. bgansel9 says:

    I thought several of these sounded like the chopped English that a certain Moldavian often uses. 😛

  16. foreigner says:

    if this sort of “communication” somehow being considered funny
    or “cool” these days ?

  17. G says:

    Neither. Spammers are just annoying and sad.

    foreigner: if this sort of “communication” somehow being considered funnyor “cool” these days ?

  18. DPM says:

    You realize that most of those comments are being submitted by ‘bots, right? If you did not, does that mean they passed the Turing test?

    A friend of mine recently spent most of his day removing similar spam comments from one of his client’s sites (a site he developed and maintains). I asked couldn’t he automate the removal process, but it sounded like the bots are becoming too clever for that to work.

  19. Thrifty says:

    I dabbled in scambaiting a bit back in 2009. I keep meaning to pick it up again, but procrastination wins. I did 2 scam baits, which I’m proud of, but were nothing to write home about. I think I was so in awe of the greats, getting their great trophies and sending scammers on these long trips (the one that sent the guy to a remote area of Chad for 3 months was so epic that it was featured on an episode of This American Life). I got so discouraged that I wouldn’t be able to measure up to the greats that I just gave up.

    I didn’t get much in the way of trophies. I did publish my two baits. Here they are:

    Lester Digits vs. Clement Morgan Part One and Part Two.

    Resturanteur Howard M. Bergers vs Fraizer Williams, Griffon Bank, and Fountain Trust Limited. Howard ran Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes chain of fine eateries.

    On a later scambait, which I never really finished or published, I pulled out Howard M. Bergers again. This time, I got the scammer Johnson Emmanuel to fill out a franchise application for Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes.

    Keith: You are an amateur scambaiter. Check out the pros at 419eaters.com. Clicking on the “ScamTracker” button goes to a map of the world with a summary of recent scamming activity.

    Some of their trophies here: Trophy Room

    Don’t forget to check out their “Hall of Shame” too.

    PLEASE: remember 419Eater’s warning: These guys are criminals. Don’t try scambaiting them unless you really know what you are doing. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY PERSONAL DETAILS.

  20. G says:

    Thrifty, I really enjoyed reading your reports. Entertaining!

    Hey, one problem to fix: You put the link to the “part one” document for both parts one and two…so I’m dying to get to read the actual “part two”.

    Thrifty:
    I dabbled in scambaiting a bit back in 2009.I keep meaning to pick it up again, but procrastination wins.I did 2 scam baits, which I’m proud of, but were nothing to write home about.I think I was so in awe of the greats, getting their great trophies and sending scammers on these long trips (the one that sent the guy to a remote area of Chad for 3 months was so epic that it was featured on an episode of This American Life).I got so discouraged that I wouldn’t be able to measure up to the greats that I just gave up.

    I didn’t get much in the way of trophies.I did publish my two baits.Here they are:

    Lester Digits vs. Clement Morgan Part One and Part Two.

    Resturanteur Howard M. Bergers vs Fraizer Williams, Griffon Bank, and Fountain Trust Limited.Howard ran Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes chain of fine eateries.

    On a later scambait, which I never really finished or published, I pulled out Howard M. Bergers again.This time, I got the scammer Johnson Emmanuel to fill out a franchise application for Lord Bravery Smoked Meats and Fishes.

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