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Innocents abroad

The title of this artice is borrowed from Mark Twain’s Holy Land travelogue of the same name. I thought it an appropriate title for an article about the alleged absquatulation from the United States of certain upstanding anti-birther personalities. I suppose that it didn’t help matters when Reality Check missed his show Tuesday and his substitute Foggy was absent as well–plus on top of that, some Soviet music was playing in place of the show. Now personally, I really enjoy the movie The Hunt for Red October and its sound track, but playing it on the Reality Check Radio show might have been misleading. I do not know the “undisclosed location” where RC is right now, but I certainly have no reason to think that it’s Russia.

Some others may have been confused by an article I published containing a photo of someone who looks like me standing next to a truck displaying Cyrillic lettering and jumped to the conclusion that the photo was of me in Russia, but I can promise you that it was not. I am not the only bearded guy who wears a hat.

The birthers have a made a really big deal of what appears to be a two-digit date on President Obama’s Selective Service System registration and they prove its significance by claiming that no legitimate form exists with this missing date. Well, I am prepared to make a similar argument to prove that the photo was not one of me in Russia. What follows is photographic evidence that I did not fly into Russia. You can clearly see that I am not there.

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29 Responses to Innocents abroad

  1. avatar
    RanTalbott September 21, 2013 at 12:03 pm #

    So, you’re definitely not suggesting that he didn’t go to Russia because he was unable to secure Snowden for a guest spot on RC Radio?

  2. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG September 21, 2013 at 12:25 pm #

    Ceci n’est pas une pipe.

  3. avatar
    Foggy September 21, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

    I was there, just 2 minutes late. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater took over the radio show but BlogTalkRadio was having technical difficulties. He and I and Sterngard could all talk to each other, but nobody was getting through to the listeners.

    Simultaneously, I was having some computer issues, which are now fully resolved. I’ll be doing the show this coming Tuesday, since R.C. is still wherever he is.

    This is the real me. ◄— and you can see for yourself that I’m online and not in Russia.

  4. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy September 21, 2013 at 1:21 pm #

    Comrade Fogovich, they have Internet in Russia.

    Foggy: This is the real me. ◄— and you can see for yourself that I’m online and not in Russia.

  5. avatar
    Slartibartfast September 21, 2013 at 2:52 pm #

    Doc,

    How do we know you weren’t photoshopped out of that picture? In fact, I think posting it at all qualifies as indirect confirmation by Butter-de-de-de-logic which is corroborated by the well-known picture of Foggy in his commie hat (‘cuz… well, you know…).

    Be sure you clean off your dinner plate—when my cousin visited the Soviet Union, she said that leftovers from the night before ended up in the next morning’s borscht.

    ’о сви’ания товарищ

    (do svidaniya tovarishch)

  6. avatar
    Slartibartfast September 21, 2013 at 2:56 pm #

    Foggy:

    This is the real me. ◄— and you can see for yourself that I’m online and not in Russia.

    That’s not the real you—it’s just my web browser’s visualization of an entry in the database of Doc’s blog allegedly written by you. I think we need to see a birth certificate before we can be sure of anything, tovarishch.

  7. avatar
    Thinker September 21, 2013 at 3:28 pm #

    Uh, yeah, sorry Doc. I sent that photo to Reed Hayes. He says he’s never seen a photo so riddled with obvious signs of manipulation. A blue airplane seat with an orange seatbelt? I looked at dozens of photos of airplane seats and didn’t find a single one with those colors. And I suppose it’s just coincidence that the colors of the magazine cover match so well with the colors of the seat and seatbelt.

    You shouldn’t have hired the birth certificate forger to fake that photo. He’s simply not competent.

  8. avatar
    misha marinsky September 21, 2013 at 4:04 pm #

    Thinker: You shouldn’t have hired the birth certificate forger to fake that photo. He’s simply not competent.

    I was about to say the same thing. Excellent observations.

  9. avatar
    jdkinpa September 21, 2013 at 4:05 pm #

    Thinker:

    Uh, yeah, sorry Doc. I sent that photo to Reed Hayes. He says he’s never seen a photo so riddled with obvious signs of manipulation.

    Maybe it’s just me, but I swear there’s a face staring out of the back of that seat.

    Photoshopped? Paranoia? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!

  10. avatar
    Keith September 21, 2013 at 7:27 pm #

    The photo on the cover of Aeroflot’s inflight magazine looks like Ha Long Bay.

    So you are saying you are in Vietnam?

  11. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny September 21, 2013 at 8:07 pm #

    Keith:
    The photo on the cover of Aeroflot’s inflight magazine looks like Ha Long Bay.

    So you are saying you are in Vietnam?

    The text on the truck was not actually Russian. The meat market in Lwow is a possibility,
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRDkTQB_pCw
    Saw someone with a beard and a hat there.

  12. avatar
    Dr Kenneth Noisewater September 21, 2013 at 8:16 pm #

    Foggy:
    I was there, just 2 minutes late. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater took over the radio show but BlogTalkRadio was having technical difficulties. He and I and Sterngard could all talk to each other, but nobody was getting through to the listeners.

    Simultaneously, I was having some computer issues, which are now fully resolved. I’ll be doing the show this coming Tuesday, since R.C. is still wherever he is.

    This is the real me. ◄— and you can see for yourself that I’m online and not in Russia.

    Yeah I couldn’t hear you I couldn’t hear anyone as host. I thought maybe you donned your famous red cap and made off to Moscow, Comrade.

  13. avatar
    jdkinpa September 21, 2013 at 10:41 pm #

    OT… What Does Ted Cruz’s Birth Certificate Look Like To A Birther?

    http://thebigslice.org/ted-cruzs-birth-certificate-look-like-birther/

  14. avatar
    misha marinsky September 22, 2013 at 12:01 am #

    Paul Pieniezny: The text on the truck was not actually Russian. The meat market in Lwow is a possibility

    Thanks for the link, and the translation. I tried to figure it out.

  15. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy September 22, 2013 at 12:29 am #

    Not really.

    Keith:
    The photo on the cover of Aeroflot’s inflight magazine looks like Ha Long Bay.

    So you are saying you are in Vietnam?

  16. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy September 22, 2013 at 12:34 am #

    The photo was Photoshopped (cropped).

    jdkinpa:

    Photoshopped?Paranoia? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHThey’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!

  17. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny September 22, 2013 at 4:23 am #

    misha marinsky: Thanks for the link, and the translation. I tried to figure it out.

    Misha, both the composer and the text writer of that Polish waltz “Tylko w Lwowie” were Jewish. Text writer Emanuel Schlechter died in the Holocaust.

  18. avatar
    Rickey September 22, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Not really.

    So you’re not saying that you aren’t in Vietnam, either.

    The important thing is that Generalissimo Zullo is being kept in the dark.

  19. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG September 22, 2013 at 5:42 pm #

    Doc isn’t saying that he’s not a championship mountain lion puncher either…Hmmm.
    But as for keeping Zullo in the dark, I wouldn’t worry. The man can’t find his way out of a well lit building, with a floodlight.

  20. avatar
    misha marinsky September 22, 2013 at 9:00 pm #

    Paul Pieniezny: Misha, both the composer and the text writer of that Polish waltz “Tylko w Lwowie” were Jewish. Text writer Emanuel Schlechter died in the Holocaust.

    Tiny North Dakota town braces against neo-Nazi plans for all-white community

    Jeff Schoep, commander of the American National Socialist Movement (NSM), is preparing to travel from Detroit to Leith to hold a town-hall meeting and press conference on Sunday afternoon. On the NSM website, he describes the trip as a “gesture of goodwill”, but goes on to say ominously that the aim is to “plant the seeds of National Socialism in North Dakota”.

    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/21/north-dakota-neo-nazi-community-leith

  21. avatar
    misha marinsky September 22, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

    Andrew Vrba, PmG: The man can’t find his way out of a well lit building, with a floodlight.

    Zullo lost his decoder ring.

  22. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG September 22, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

    misha marinsky: Zullo lost his decoder ring.

    How is he gonna know when to drink more Ovaltine?!

  23. avatar
    misha marinsky September 22, 2013 at 10:15 pm #

    Since Zullo is a first rate detective, I have a problem for him to help me with.

    My dog ran away, and is lost in the town of Baskerville. Could Zullo help me find my hound?

  24. avatar
    RanTalbott September 22, 2013 at 10:26 pm #

    Andrew Vrba, PmG: How is he gonna know when to drink more Ovaltine?!

    When he runs out of bourbon.

  25. avatar
    richCares September 22, 2013 at 10:31 pm #

    “Zullo lost his decoder ring.”
    He also lost his Clown Car, Ringling Bros repossessed it for lack of payments, it’s all over for the poor Clown Zullo

  26. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy September 23, 2013 at 1:06 am #

    richCares:
    “Zullo lost his decoder ring.”
    He also lost his Clown Car, Ringling Bros repossessed it for lack of payments, it’s all over for the poor Clown Zullo

    Perhaps Zullo could apply here:

    http://www.panoramio.com/photo/4404919

  27. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG September 23, 2013 at 10:33 am #

    Zullo could always get a job testing if explosive shells are duds or not! That’s how Bugs Bunny made a living for a while.

  28. avatar
    Origuy September 24, 2013 at 5:42 pm #

    absquatulation

    A very Twainian word, for sure!

  29. avatar
    Crustacean September 24, 2013 at 6:34 pm #

    That *is* a great word, isn’t it! In the fine tradition of made-up, “latinated” words, going back to Shakespeare, who coined quite a few – like “deracinate” and “multitudinous.”

    When my kids and their friends make up words, they usually just add -ish to the end. Zounds!!

    Origuy: A very Twainian word, for sure!