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Birther Burma-Shave contest

Inspired by a comment from Curious George, I’m holding a contest for the best birther themed Burma-Shave ad. In the United States between 1925 and 1963, the Burma-Shave brushless shaving cream product was advertised with signs on US Highways. Each sign had a part of a pithy 4-5 line poem poem, followed by the final sign saying “Burma-Shave.”

Here’s an adaptation from a sign I remember from my youth:

In this world
Of toil and sin
The birthers sue
But Never Win
Burma-Shave1

So let’s see your ideas!


1The original version of that poem ended:

Your hair grows bald
But not your chin

44 Responses to Birther Burma-Shave contest

  1. avatar
    Curious George November 16, 2013 at 12:23 am #

     
    Vogt ought not to pout
    about this birther drought
    as Vogt prepares
    for the next legal bout.
    Burma Shave

  2. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG November 16, 2013 at 8:30 am #

     
    Any day now.
    Wait and see.
    We’ll get Obama.
    Yesiree.
    Any day. now.
    Burma Shave.

  3. avatar
    Bob November 16, 2013 at 9:38 am #

     
    It’s the Negro
    The Birthers fear
    They hope he’ll go
    Because of a silly smear
    Burma Shave™

  4. avatar
    Curious George November 16, 2013 at 9:48 am #

     
    Case dismissed!
    The Birther twits,
    They’ll have a fit.
    Burma-Shave

  5. avatar
    Bob November 16, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    With apologies to William Blake:

    Birther, Birther growing dim
    Their future looking grim
    What immortal hand or eye
    Could frame thy fearful bigotry?
    Burma Shave

  6. avatar
    Monkey Boy November 16, 2013 at 3:33 pm #

    I distinctly remember something about “if your can is to small, try ours” with a model displaying a David-Farrar-sized derriere alongside a can of shaving cream.

    OK, that was an exaggeration, but it was BIG.

  7. avatar
    aarrgghh November 16, 2013 at 3:34 pm #

     
    if at first
    you don’t succeed
    just file another
    birfer screed
    burma shave

  8. avatar
    Rickey November 16, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

    Here goes nothing:

    Success shall come
    To she who waits
    Unless her name
    Is Orly Taitz
    Burma Shave

  9. avatar
    Jim November 16, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

     
    Any
    Day
    Now
    Send
    Money
    Foamy Mouths

  10. avatar
    Curious George November 16, 2013 at 5:20 pm #

     
    The Birthers always blame Dr C
    For pointing out their fallacies
    Zullo, Corsi, Gillar and Gallups,
    Always end up looking
    Like sautéed scallops.
    Truth is on Dr. C’s side,
    Birthers sadly can only lie.

    Burma-Shave

  11. avatar
    aarrgghh November 16, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

     
    pleeze to cleek
    my paypal leenk
    my leegle zankshuns
    shure aint cheep
    burma shave

  12. avatar
    katahdin November 16, 2013 at 7:34 pm #

     
    Birthers pinch their withered cheeks

    Of Cheetos and stale beer they reek

    As they pass their lies most foul

    From knave to knave—

    Burma Shave.

  13. avatar
    Paper November 16, 2013 at 10:35 pm #

     
    Obama, Obama, wherefore art thou, Obama?
    Deny thy father and refuse your name!
    But if not, show me your birth certificate,
    And nonetheless a birther I will remain!

    Burma Shave

  14. avatar
    JPotter November 16, 2013 at 10:51 pm #

     
    The President is black—
    No way you say!
    Can’t send him back,
    He’s here to stay 🙂

    @Birfer Slaves

  15. avatar
    Paper November 16, 2013 at 11:10 pm #

    —–

    so much depends
    upon

    a “forged”
    birth certificate

    glazed with bull
    sh$t

    in the minds of white
    birthers.

    Burma Shave

  16. avatar
    G November 17, 2013 at 12:45 am #

    ROTFLMAO!!! I always love reading these types of threads from you folks. Kudos, to all. 🙂

  17. avatar
    Benji Franklin November 17, 2013 at 1:11 am #

    I struggled to find a way to literally co-join the pathetic spectacle of Birtherism to the fondly remembered, charming iconic signage of a that shaving product, until I happened to remember that it was a product designed to shave WHISKERS AWAY!

    Orly’s empty Suit
    Could never win the day
    When any empty chair could
    Whisk her’s away!
    Burma Shave

  18. avatar
    ZixiOfIx November 17, 2013 at 4:30 am #

     
    Are they crazy?
    Calls of treason!
    Birthers just won’t
    Listen
    To reason

    Burma Shave

  19. avatar
    aarrgghh November 17, 2013 at 4:36 am #

     
    oh no the darkie
    won the race
    we wont fergit
    that aint his place
    burma shave

  20. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy November 17, 2013 at 7:59 am #

     
    When it comes
    To PDF’s
    Scan to Email
    Is the best
    Xerox-save

  21. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy November 17, 2013 at 8:06 am #

     
    On birther blogs
    Obscene and fecal
    Their words opined
    Are barely legal.
    Burma-shave

  22. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy November 17, 2013 at 8:08 am #

     
    The old doc
    In hat and beard
    To birther lies
    He is
    Most Feared
    Burma-Shave

  23. avatar
    Curious George November 17, 2013 at 9:45 am #

    When the IRS comes a knockin’

    Those aspirins Z will be a poppin’

    “But we’re a non-profit charity!” Z retorts.

    The G-man’s reply, “We still wants those 990 reports!”

    Burma-Shave

  24. avatar
    Reality Check November 17, 2013 at 9:50 am #

    Or even better:

    When it comes
    To PDF’s
    Scan to Email
    Is Zebest
    Xerox-save

    Dr. Conspiracy:

    When it comes
    To PDF’s
    Scan to Email
    Is the best
    Xerox-save

  25. avatar
    Curious George November 17, 2013 at 10:04 am #

    Reality Check:

    Too funny!

  26. avatar
    JPotter November 17, 2013 at 10:23 am #

    .

    If words Vattel
    You would abuse
    There is no bat-tel
    You cannot lose

    @Putzie Knave

    or…

    If words Vattel
    You must spin
    Cease your prattle
    You did not win

    @Putzie Knave

  27. avatar
    aarrgghh November 17, 2013 at 11:47 am #

     
    one honest judge
    will heed our voice
    and overthrow
    the people’s choice
    burma shave

  28. avatar
    Arthur November 17, 2013 at 12:14 pm #

     
    They love to curse
    And won’t be hushed
    These birthers make
    A sailor blush.

    Oburma Shave.

  29. avatar
    JPotter November 17, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

    .

    Endless denial
    Will not stop
    Birfer skulls
    From going *pop*

    Obama saves 😉

  30. avatar
    Paper November 18, 2013 at 8:58 am #

    —–
    I am a good person.
    I am a good person.
    I am a good person.
    (Obama is bad!)

    -Birther Shave

  31. avatar
    Carl Frosty November 18, 2013 at 5:22 pm #

    LFBC, SSN,
    Birthers relish drama.
    Thank God that We,
    Have Dr. C,
    He’s as smart and honest as Obama!

  32. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy November 18, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

     
    Bonsall Obot
    Carl Frosty
    Orlyfan
    Proud Obot
    Big Broverment
    Birther Treat
    Nora Desmond
    Rene Magritte
    RM
    Sactosintolerant
    Casino
    Impartial Observer
    Indo
    Mr. Fixit
    Julius B Censor
    perspicacity
    Horace
    The Riddler
    Unconvinced
    zullo
    Watch the Road
    Burma-shave

    Carl Frosty:
    LFBC, SSN,
    Birthers relish drama.
    Thank God that We,
    Have Dr. C,
    He’s as smart and honest as Obama!

  33. avatar
    Carl Frosty November 18, 2013 at 6:24 pm #

    Heaven knows
    obama’s foes’
    actions do displease us.

    But you and me
    and Dr. C.
    leave judging up to Jesus.

  34. avatar
    jdkinpa November 18, 2013 at 6:35 pm #

    When I’ve nothing better to do

    I click on over to Doc C’s to view

    The latest nonsense from the Birther crew

    I’m never disappointed for the laugh I crave

    They’re OH so predictable, Burma-Shave

  35. avatar
    Curious George November 19, 2013 at 1:29 am #

    The new American Revolution starts tomorrow,

    When Klayman, with his two fans arrive,

    They will only be met with a sense of sorrow.

    But none will know of this sad non-event.

    FALCON will will fuss and fume,

    And he will surely vent.

    But don’t expect to read about it

    At ORYR anytime soon,

    The truth would simply ruffle his plume,

    And give the Birfers a sense of doom.

    Birfer-Shave

  36. avatar
    aarrgghh November 19, 2013 at 1:53 am #

    whitebread mom
    not good enough
    but f*ck it cruz
    got the right stuff
    burma shave

  37. avatar
    aarrgghh November 19, 2013 at 1:56 am #

    they aint valid
    barry’s creds
    not since i went
    off my meds
    burma shave

  38. avatar
    The Magic M November 19, 2013 at 8:59 am #

    I liked the Zen Koan contest better. Did we do limericks yet?

  39. avatar
    The Magic M November 19, 2013 at 12:19 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: Yes

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/11/obama-conspiracy-limerick-contest/

    That must’ve been before my time here. Thanks for all the references. 🙂

  40. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy November 19, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    What was really interesting was that Orly Taitz contributed a Haiku (that had the wrong number of syllables) and Mario Apuzzo left a limerick (that didn’t rhyme).

    The irony, priceless.

    The Magic M: That must’ve been before my time here. Thanks for all the references

  41. avatar
    Birfoon Rebirf November 19, 2013 at 8:39 pm #

    The reason the vault copy’s hid,
    no access you can get,
    is once it’s shown then dr. c.
    will lose his raison d’etre.

  42. avatar
    justlw November 19, 2013 at 8:59 pm #

    “Birfoon Rebirf” spelled backwards is “Friber Noofrib.”

    (Oops, wrong retro ad campaign)

  43. avatar
    justlw November 19, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

    If marchers on
    the road you see
    “A million”‘s prolly
    Twenty three

    Occam Shave