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2014 Obama Conspiracy Preview

I predict more of the same and some things different.

Predicting the future is done for fun. It’s even more fun if some outlandish prediction actually comes true. My favorite prediction that did come true was that birthers were going to claim that Hawaii is not a state. Here are my top ten 2014 predictions:

  1. Obama will not be impeached,  nor removed from office in 2014.
  2. Taitz v Democrat Party of Mississippi will still be active at year end.
  3. The Alabama Supreme will affirm the lower court decision in the McInnish case in a split decision.
  4. Orly Taitz will announce her candidacy for President of the United States. She will argue that if Obama can be president, anyone can.
  5. Millions of Americans will die.
  6. The Cold Case Posse will put off the release of their universe-shattering evidence until 2015.
  7. The birthers will come up with something as surprising as it is silly.
  8. Interest in birtherism will decline.
  9. I will run out of predictions before reaching 10.

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22 Responses to 2014 Obama Conspiracy Preview

  1. avatar
    Thinker January 1, 2014 at 3:28 am #

    I predict that the Cold Case Posse will fade away in 2014. I think Arpaio is being watched more closely in the wake of the recent payments the county had to make for his misbehavior. Plus, the IRS might be unhappy with the Cold Case Posse’s obviously political activities. Since harassing members of Congress is all that birfers have left, there isn’t really anything Zullo can do with his plastic badge and fake title.

  2. avatar
    The Magic M (not logged in) January 1, 2014 at 6:01 am #

    Obama will not be impeached or otherwise removed from office

    Just a minor quibble, this wording implies that impeachment means removal from office, a mistake that birthers and other right-wing cranks seem to make on a daily basis. Impeachment means nothing without conviction by the Senate (see Clinton).

    Therefore I’d strike “otherwise”.

  3. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG January 1, 2014 at 9:11 am #

    Oh, never mind 2014. Birthers are gonna be crying “Any. Day. Now.”, and wailing and gnashing their teeth well into 2016.

  4. avatar
    JPotter January 1, 2014 at 9:36 am #

    “Taitz v Democrat Party of Mississippi will still be active

    Active in a technical sense only, as it continues to languish? When was the last activity of any kind in the case?

    I predict that 7 out of 9 of your predictions will come to pass. A little iffy on the verb tense on #6; surely Zullo can’t actively delay until 2015. Rather, they’ll run out of pronouncements and nothing will happen by default. Of course, I say that, knowing they’ll prove me wrong with some ludicrous, shameless dead horse flogging.

  5. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy January 1, 2014 at 12:01 pm #

    Last July as best I recall.

    JPotter: When was the last activity of any kind in the case?

  6. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy January 1, 2014 at 12:04 pm #

    Agreed.

    The Magic M (not logged in): Therefore I’d strike “otherwise”.

  7. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy January 1, 2014 at 12:05 pm #

    What would you propose as an objective measure of “fade away”?

    Thinker: I predict that the Cold Case Posse will fade away in 2014.

  8. avatar
    Northland10 January 1, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

    The Alabama Supreme will affirm the lower court decision in the McInnish case in a split decision.

    I suspect it may look more like:

    Petition Denied. No Opinion.

  9. avatar
    Steve January 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm #

    This guy seems to think that if the Republicans win control of the Senate this fall, Obama could be impeached and convicted.
    He’s also under the false impression that executive orders are an unconstitutional way of passing laws that Congress won’t.
    And he can’t even get the name of the Democratic Party correct.

    http://johntreed.com/Obama-lost-his-mojo-and-a-lot-more.html

  10. avatar
    Rickey January 1, 2014 at 3:51 pm #

    Steve:
    This guy seems to think that if the Republicans win control of the Senate this fall, Obama could be impeached and convicted.
    He’s also under the false impression that executive orders are an unconstitutional way of passing laws that Congress won’t.
    And he can’t even get the name of the Democratic Party correct.

    Even under a worst-case scenario, it is impossible for the Republicans to win enough Senate seats in 2014 to have 67 votes for conviction.

    Not to mention that there are no viable grounds for impeachment.

  11. avatar
    Steve January 1, 2014 at 5:22 pm #

    Rickey: Even under a worst-case scenario, it is impossible for the Republicans to win enough Senate seats in 2014 to have 67 votes for conviction.

    Not to mention that there are no viable grounds for impeachment.

    I know that and you know that. I guess this guy doesn’t. He also has no idea how executive orders work.

  12. avatar
    Thinker January 1, 2014 at 6:09 pm #

    Yeah, that’s a problem. We wouldn’t know that it has faded away until months after Zullo’s last public birfery activity because that’s how fading away works. And of course, no measure that includes Zullo doing something birfery that actually matters is an option because the premise of his investigation guarantees that he won’t do anything that matters, ever. I suppose it has to be determined retrospectively.

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    What would you propose as an objective measure of “fade away”?

  13. avatar
    katahdin January 1, 2014 at 7:01 pm #

    Birtherism isn’t going anywhere until President Obama leaves office, for the simple reason that the majority of Republican voters believe in it– so strongly that Republican politicians don’t dare to repudiate it in no uncertain terms.

    Given the feral nature of the Republican primary process, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if, when the 2014 elections heat up, a few Republicans start up an impeachment inquiry based on birtherism.

  14. avatar
    Fred Flintstone January 1, 2014 at 7:27 pm #

    MY TEN PREDICTIONS FOR 2014:

    1. Orly Taitz will finally be found as a vexatious litigant – by herself.

    2. The Birther Movement will move on to become the Ted Cruz Party.

    3. Orly Taitz will be confronted in person with someone from “the regime,” and fall in love.

    4. Orange is the New Black will be John Boehner’s new nickname.

    5. Orly Taitz will sue Fox and God for the death of Brian the Dog on Family Guy. It will take a 7 year old to explain to her that Brian came back to life. Then Orly will sue the 7 year old.

    6. The hottest new video: Green Eggs and Ham recited by Ted Cruz set to a latin beat, played while Sheriff Joe sings background, “Wrecking Ball.”

    7. Orly Taitz will be a victim of a knock-knock prank. She’ll pull out a taser and use it. To her horror, it will be the UPS man trying to deliver a “How to Do Subpeonas at Home” video by Perry Mason.

    8. The birthers will unveil a flag for their cause. It will simply be a white sheet.

    9. Orly Taitz will become a character on SNL who sues everyone all of the time, wastes millions of taxpayer dollars, and never wins a case . . . wait, I’m sorry . . . that’s the script for the NBC News Documentary.

    10. The state of California will suffer a tremendous earthquake and the population will be wiped out with two exceptions – a swarm of cockroaches and Orly Taitz. Orly will then sue the cockroaches for not observing the Sabbath.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  15. avatar
    Keith January 1, 2014 at 8:56 pm #

    Fred Flintstone: 6. The hottest new video: Green Eggs and Ham recited by Ted Cruz set to a latin beat, played while Sheriff Joe sings background, “Wrecking Ball.”

    You owe me a new keyboard, Flintstone!

    And I’m gonna need therapy to get that image of Arpaio swinging on that ball out of my mind.

    Thanks a lot, buddy!

  16. avatar
    Thinker January 1, 2014 at 9:41 pm #

    I think that we might start to hear more birther stuff from some of the wingnuts like Yoho, Gohmert, and Farenthold, but I can’t see them actually wanting to expose the details of birtherism via an inquiry because it’s all so obviously stupid. I would think that Teabagger politicians who think birtherism might work as a political issue would actually be very reluctant to expose any birther theories or evidence to public scrutiny.

    katahdin:
    Given the feral nature of the Republican primary process, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if, when the 2014 elections heat up, a few Republicans start up an impeachment inquiry based on birtherism.

  17. avatar
    Fred Flintstone January 1, 2014 at 11:01 pm #

    Keith: You owe me a new keyboard, Flintstone!

    And I’m gonna need therapy to get that image of Arpaio swinging on that ball out of my mind.

    Thanks a lot, buddy!

    Glad to bring some new year humor. I was thinking about this and I’ve got 10 more:

    TEN RESOLUTIONS THAT ORLY TAITZ HAS MADE FOR 2014:

    1. “I will hire at least three illegals this year and then complain about the flood of them.”

    2. “I will use my funds to justify the reason for buying a new car.”

    3. “I will go on Jimmy Kimmel and kiss him very passionately and then . . . oh, I’m sorry, this is ten resolutions not ten non-Obama fantasies.”

    4. “I will see to it that the minions from Despicable Me movies come work for me.”

    5. Two words: “Justice Roberts.”

    6. “I will prove that Barack Obama was responsible for The War of 1812.”

    7. “I will contact Sarah Palin. And when I do I promise not to use my Zsa Zsa voice.”

    8. “I am going to sign autographs at the next California Klan Convention in Fresno. It’s nice that a family gets together every year. I’m excited.”

    9. “I’m going to stand outside of Bill O’Reilly’s house . . . no protest, I just want to see what it feels like to be near someone less insane than myself.”

    10. “I’m going to refuse to use toilet because there are CIA agents bugging the bowl. Instead I’m going to use Depends, but that depends . . . “

  18. avatar
    Fred Flintstone January 1, 2014 at 11:07 pm #

    10 NEW NICKNAMES FOR ORLY TAITZ

    1. The Mangler of Law

    2. The Blonde after every Rinse Bomber

    3. The Shaggy Law Professor

    4. Donna Quixote

    5. The Thing That Ate Rancho Santa Margarita

    6. From Russia with No Love

    7. Mooch-Taitz

    8. I Still Know What You Screeched Last Summer

    9. The Walking Dead in Pearls

    10. Mother of Three, Wife of One, Brains of None

  19. avatar
    RanTalbott January 2, 2014 at 5:08 am #

    katahdin: Given the feral nature of the Republican primary process, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if, when the 2014 elections heat up, a few Republicans start up an impeachment inquiry based on birtherism.

    I’m with Thinker on this. I’ve been telling birthers who claimed that Zullo Claus was gonna bring them an impeachment for Christmas that there was no way, because Congresscritters have staff who try to keep them from exploding their careers and who know how to fact-check.

    They know that, even though they can use their majority power to keep Roxie off the witness list, one of the first questions from one of the minority committee members for the Clown Car Posse witnesses will be “Doesn’t the Xerox evidence completely destroy your theory about the LFBC forgery?”. And it gets worse from there, as they get asked about the “manual coding” fraud, their false claim of being “an official law enforcement investigation”, and whether their lobbying efforts violate both their corporate charter and federal tax law.

    Boehner probably knows this, so the rumor that he has privately told the birthers that he will never let them hold hearings is probably true.

  20. avatar
    Bovril January 2, 2014 at 5:31 am #

    Mad Moldovan Molar Mangler….. 8-)

  21. avatar
    katahdin January 2, 2014 at 10:11 am #

    You’re making the mistake of thinking rationally and relying on evidence. If the Republican party was a rational organization, there would have been only one Benghazi hearing and the government would not have been shut down.

    RanTalbott: I’m with Thinker on this. I’ve been telling birthers who claimed that Zullo Claus was gonna bring them an impeachment for Christmas that there was no way, because Congresscritters have staff who try to keep them from exploding their careers and who know how to fact-check.

    They know that, even though they can use their majority power to keep Roxie off the witness list, one of the first questions from one of the minority committee members for the Clown Car Posse witnesses will be “Doesn’t the Xerox evidence completely destroy your theory about the LFBC forgery?”. And it gets worse from there, as they get asked about the “manual coding” fraud, their false claim of being “an official law enforcement investigation”, and whether their lobbying efforts violate both their corporate charter and federal tax law.

    Boehner probably knows this, so the rumor that he has privately told the birthers that he will never let them hold hearings is probably true.

  22. avatar
    RanTalbott January 2, 2014 at 11:19 am #

    katahdin: If the Republican party was a rational organization, there would have been only one Benghazi hearing and the government would not have been shut down.

    “No” and “very likely true”, respectively.

    The Benghazi hearings were extremely low risk: they knew pretty much everything going in, and knew that they could spin most of it to their advantage, thanks to Americans’ willingness to swallow dishonest claims like “has ties to al Qaeda” (whatever the [bleep] “ties” are) being the same as “is al Qaeda”, or “this email proves the administration knew xxxx” (conveniently neglecting the fact that the email was proven erroneous within a few hours of its arrival).

    Birther hearings would be different. Birthers are heavily dependent on the fact that anti-birther evidence is not nearly as well-known as the birther claims, and hearings would help change that to the detriment of the birthers.

    They would definitely be “bad”. The question is “How bad?”.