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March madness

Gallups doubles down on March “reveal”

Cast your thought back to November of last year when Mike Zullo booster Carl Gallups posted this headline:

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What does it take for Gallups to declare it “monumental”? Not much. In this case it was the birthers being confused about a copy of the president’s birth certificate submitted by the Alabama Democratic Party in an amicus brief filed with the Alabama Supreme Court in the McInnish case. They seemed to think that a copy of a copy means two birth certificates.

In response to birther grumbling about Zullo being off the radar for a month, Gallups revealed that Mike Zullo had been traveling and that the investigation had taken a new turn—not a regular turn, but:

Well – it not only took a deeper turn – but it has now become much, much deeper! Deeper than you could ever imagine!

If I were looking for a word to characterize “deeper than you could ever imagine,” I think it would be “abysmal.”  The investigation took an abysmal turn from its previously really bad results.

What about the birth certificate? I thought that all of their arguments had been soundly demolished—ah, but not the secret argument. Gallups all but admits that nothing has been revealed that makes their case, but says:

I can also tell you that – based upon what I know – the birth certificate issue has been 100% settled. I am not at liberty to tell you how we know, but we now know without any argument or even the slightest shade of doubt – the birth certificate posted on the White House website is a 100% fabrication.

So having nothing to support their MONUMENTAL BREAKTHROUGH, they’re going for something completely different. When will this new turn be revealed? When will the birthers finally find out what Mike Zullo has been up to?

Sheriff Arpaio, Mike Zullo, et.al. have not lied to you or misled you in the past. They will not in the future, either. They are working tirelessly as I speak. You will see the results one day in the future – and then you will know.

Then on December 3, Mike Volin on his Blogtalk Radio show, defined the future as “next March.” I thought that comment might have just been Mike speaking out of turn, and it may well have been, but birthers who follow the Cold Case Posse latched onto this as a firm date, and rather than to repudiate it, Zullo booster Carl Gallups made it semi-official. As a result of the fake Gallups email at Orly Taitz’ site, the specific date of March 19 has become part of the expectation, although that date has no basis. March, however, is set in stone (for now).

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So I presume we can tune into the Gallups program and hear first hand what they’re not telling you. Perhaps the irony of Zullo’s comments will shatter the universe. Stay tuned.

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18 Responses to March madness

  1. avatar
    Rickey February 5, 2014 at 1:30 pm #

    Mike Zullo is Lucy van Pelt and the birthers are Charlie Brown. The difference is that Lucy uses a real football.

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t_MuT4p3Nl4/UnmKGR5zCsI/AAAAAAAACUs/eQghMOw7TLU/s320/Lucy.football.png

  2. avatar
    Curious George February 5, 2014 at 1:38 pm #

    “Well – it not only took a deeper turn – but it has now become much, much deeper! Deeper than you could ever imagine!”

    As in quicksand? Or as in a Montana stockyard full of cow manure? Could it be we can expect a remake of “Sea Hunt” with Mike Zullo throwing on the aqualung to go deeper and deeper into the abyss? Naw, he doesn’t look anything like Lloyd Bridges.

  3. avatar
    Curious George February 5, 2014 at 1:44 pm #

    “So I presume we can tune into the Gallups program and hear first hand what they’re not telling you. Perhaps the irony of Zullo’s comments will shatter the universe. Stay tuned.”

    We will hear a breathless, panting Carl Gallups talking 95% of the time and Zullo mumbling 3% of the time with 2% of the time given to yawns from the audience.

  4. avatar
    RanTalbott February 5, 2014 at 2:20 pm #

    What does it take for Gallups to declare it “monumental”? Not much

    Well, we know from his “BREAKING! BHO Birth Certificate – SEVEN MONUMENTAL PROBLEMS” video on youtube that the fact that some scanner garbled an “H” and made it look kinda like an “X” was. So was the fact that Fukino said “half written and half typed”, instead of “22.784% written and 77.216% typed”.

    Surprisingly, though, a google search for “ppsimmons” and “monumental” (in quotes) didn’t turn up a whole lot of other uses. So maybe “monumental” is sort of a Tleilaxu thing, a code word giving the suckers fair warning that “Even an hysterical teenager would consider this hype overblown”. But, I have to confess that this is only a guess, and I’m not 10,000% certain that it’s correct.

  5. avatar
    jdkinpa February 5, 2014 at 2:22 pm #

    As a result of the fake Gallups email at Orly Taitz’ site, the specific date of March 19 has become part of the expectation, although that date has no basis. March, however, is set in stone (for now).

    I’m truly astounded that the date for the stupendous, beyond belief, earth shattering announcement for the downfall of the usurper isn’t going to be the Ides of March. But I doubt that birfers know the significance.

  6. avatar
    Egipcios February 5, 2014 at 2:57 pm #

    March 19th, 1994 – The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 eggs in Yokohama, Japan.

  7. avatar
    RanTalbott February 5, 2014 at 3:51 pm #

    jdkinpa: the specific date of March 19 has become part of the expectation, although that date has no basis.

    Well, it’s the fourth mensiversary of Klayman’s .0001 Million Man March to Force the Usurper to Put Down the Qu’ran and Flee the White House.
    It’s during the first round of March Madness, when the peak number of reporters are required to cover the games, so they’ll have a plausible excuse for being ignored by the MSM yet again.
    Or, maybe it’s Zullo’s wife’s birthday, and he can’t afford to get her the new Cadillac he promised: “Sorry, Honey, I didn’t have time to pick up your car because I was busy overthrowing the government”.

  8. avatar
    Curious George February 5, 2014 at 6:28 pm #

    “Or, maybe it’s Zullo’s wife’s birthday, and he can’t afford to get her the new Cadillac he promised: “Sorry, Honey, I didn’t have time to pick up your car because I was busy overthrowing the government”.

    Buying a Caddy and overthrowing the government involves at least a small amount of wampum. How does a pretend cop finance such an effort? Donations are always welcome.

  9. avatar
    JPotter February 5, 2014 at 6:47 pm #

    “… but we now know without any argument or even the slightest shade of doubt …”

    Soooo …. now they are certain? All this time, I thought they had been 10,000% certain since approx 9:30am, 4/27/11.

    What caused them to retreat from 10,000% certain to merely 100% certain, after nearly 3 years of rock-solid certainty?

    Is the universe-shattering evidence that unconvincing? ;)

  10. avatar
    aarrgghh February 5, 2014 at 8:41 pm #

    via facebook, by way of the foggy bow …

    To clarify: Mike Zullo will NOT be revealing anything this Friday. He will be confirming the conference scheduled for March as well as discussing peripheral stuff but NOTHING will be revealed this Friday. This is a CRIMINAL investigation, not tabloid journalism. It is true, however, that you may learn things you have NEVER heard before which is why you do NOT want to miss this interview on Freedom Friday with Carl Gallups – 4-6 CT/5-7 ET

    this week’s news will only be earth-shattering, so adjust your expectations accordingly.

  11. avatar
    CarlOrcas February 5, 2014 at 9:14 pm #

    aarrgghh:
    via facebook, by way of the foggy bow …

    this week’s news will only be earth-shattering, so adjust your expectations accordingly.

    “This is like deja vu all over again.”

    — Yogi Bera, 1960

  12. avatar
    CarlOrcas February 5, 2014 at 10:41 pm #

    If you haven’t looked lately check out the BirtherReport this evening (Wednesday). Fantasy has taken flight in Birtherstan.

    President Obama is going to Saudi Arabia next month and several of them are sure he’s going to fake his death while he’s there to escape his impending doom at the hands of Zullo and the Cold Case Posse.

    You can’t make this stuff up!

  13. avatar
    The Magic M February 6, 2014 at 4:39 am #

    RanTalbott: So was the fact that Fukino said “half written and half typed”, instead of “22.784% written and 77.216% typed”.

    … and this was the reporter paraphrasing Fukino, not a literal quote.

    (Irony meter test: when I pointed this out to a birther one day, he replied that “journalists are required to write the truth and quote correctly” and that this proves Fukino actually used those words.)

    CarlOrcas: several of them are sure he’s going to fake his death

    While at the same time Michelle Obama is still in Hawaii with Oprah discussing the terms of how Obama is going to explain his resignation on her show.
    Well, probably he’s going to appear by Ouija board.
    If you mix all these birther claims together, it actually becomes funny again. ;)

  14. avatar
    RanTalbott February 6, 2014 at 5:09 am #

    The Magic M: … and this was the reporter paraphrasing Fukino, not a literal quote

    Thanks for the heads up on that: I should’ve known, since I first heard it from Corporal Zullo, that it was a lie.

    I found the story with the paraphrase in it, for those who would like to use it as a clue-by-four:

    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/42519951/ns/politics-more_politics/t/ex-hawaii-official-denounces-ludicrous-birther-claims/

  15. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy February 6, 2014 at 7:44 am #

    Thanks. I have added this link to the Bookmarks | Birth Certificate page.

    RanTalbott: I found the story with the paraphrase in it,

  16. avatar
    sfjeff February 6, 2014 at 11:48 am #

    aarrgghh: via facebook, by way of the foggy bow …

    To clarify: Mike Zullo will NOT be revealing anything this Friday.

    Or any other day of the week.

    Nothing says Birther than clarifying that a news conference will not reveal anything.

  17. avatar
    Jim February 6, 2014 at 11:58 am #

    sfjeff: Or any other day of the week.

    Nothing says Birther than clarifying that a news conference will not reveal anything.

    A newsless news conference…fits perfectly with their witless investigation.

  18. avatar
    The Magic M February 7, 2014 at 5:03 am #

    Jim: A newsless news conference…

    The announcement of which would be a promise (“we will talk about…”) of a promise (“the fact that we will…”) of a promise (“release big stuff in March”). Well, it fits their recursive mindset which always demands confirmations of confirmations of confirmations. ;)