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March expectations

Picture of Joe Arpaio with Mike Zullo behind him.So it’s almost the middle of March and nothing much from Zullo and the Zu-Bot Cold Case Posse. That leaves me in the difficult position of having nothing to write about. So just as the birthers have to live on promises, so do I.

Comments from Zullo in interviews with Carl Gallups, and recent remarks from Internet radio host and videographer Mark Gillar, suggest that they have completely abandoned the Birth Certificate / Selective Service registration themes that dominated the first year of their press releases and were shot to pieces by critics. It’s something else.

Birther Report has a new article up, “Washington DC Unprepared for Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Universe Shattering Surprise.” I daresay that Sheriff Joe is pretty far down on the list of things the White House is preparing for (if it’s on the list at all and I doubt that it is). Given the total insanity of the stuff from the Cold Case Posse to date, it could be anything, not bounded by facts or evidence. Maybe they will find some elderly person suffering from dementia who doesn’t remember Obama being born in Hawaii (or for sure whether they were ever in Hawaii). Maybe they will discover the dirty little secret that the State of California’s certification of the Electoral College vote for Obama, residing in PDF format at the National Archives HAS LAYERS! Maybe they have latched onto one or more of the strange tales of women who claim Obama was born in Kansas, or Florida! My guess is that it will be something about the conduct of the 2008 or 2012 election in Arizona.

Certainly conservative members of Congress are interested. Here are just two examples from the BR article:

Rep. Labrador: “I really haven’t been following that at all.”

Rep. Huelskamp: “Honestly, I haven’t been following that at all.”

Clearly Arpaio and Zullo have the element of surprise in their favor. Commenting on the article, Gillar said last night:

Things are a bit different this time. The LFBC and Selective Service Card investigations resulted in the discovery of many other crimes that were committed by this regime. Some of which will piss off democrats and republicans alike. Don’t focus on a timeline. As far as I’m concerned as long as it breaks by summer and impacts the 2014 midterms, I’ll be happy. The delays are coming because of the amount of time that is taking to retrieve and log the large amount evidence as well as make sure the proper chain of custody is preserved and recorded. The evidence is different this time. I’d back off criticizing the CCP. You’ll have a lot of egg on your face when this is over if you continue.

By Summer? :shock: What the hell am I going to write about for the next 5 months? Do I have to come up with endless regurgitations of old articles with escalating cataclysmic titles as Birther Report does? Do I have to (shudder) cover Orly Taitz every day? This is a serious inconvenience!

My career expertise in vital records isn’t going to help much in mending the shattered universe, as the topic goes off in another direction, again from Gillar last night:

Arpaio knows. As Mike said, the wall between the CCP and MCSO have come down given the nature of the new crimes discovered. As I’ve said on other boards, the LFBC is just the tip of a very large iceberg of corruption. Americans will wonder if there is anyone left in government that they really can trust by the time this is over.

I know the LFBC is the focus for many of you, but the entire story will knock you socks off once it comes out.

As for Sheriff Arpaio, let me offer some advise from Holy Scripture:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

In the meantime, as I face a long dry spell of no birther news, I console myself with the wisdom of the ancients:

Photo of fortune cookie


In case you didn’t hover over the Arpaio picture at the top of the article, the title is “Ventriloquist Mike Zullo operates lifelike Joe Arpaio dummy.”

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41 Responses to March expectations

  1. avatar
    The Magic M March 14, 2014 at 10:57 am #

    My guess is that it will be something about the conduct of the 2008 or 2012 election in Arizona.

    I’m not sure they’re even gonna pretend they can only investigate crimes that happened in Arizona anymore.
    Then again, your guess is as good as mine.

    While “crimes that were committed by this regime” is still a broad announcement and could apply to anything, including “election fraud”, I don’t think they have much to base any “universe shattering” on. Especially since even if they proved massive election fraud in Arizona by sane standards, it would not shatter anything (though of course it would cause some minor earthquakes).

    Birthers themselves have been speculating it might be some in-depth “evidence” about the “massive conspiracy” – say, something like “we can prove Obama is actually a Saudi-Arabian on the payroll of the Saudi king”.

    However Gillar’s latest comments, if they’re based on any knowledge of the CCP stuff and not just his own imagination, suggest whatever it is, it is neither about birtherism nor some “usurpation conspiracy”.

    So somehow “universe-shattering” and “crimes committed by this administration” don’t go together.

    It might however turn out to be some publicity stunt with regard to the 2014 elections where latching on to some of the pseudo-scandals of the past might appear more promising to them than “the birth certificate is still forged, we double-checked”.

  2. avatar
    alg March 14, 2014 at 10:58 am #

    Oh ye of little faith…surely the universe shall shatter in but the two weeks we have remaining…surely….

  3. avatar
    sfjeff March 14, 2014 at 11:08 am #

    I think this sums up the motivation of the parties

    “Americans will wonder if there is anyone left in government that they really can trust by the time this is over”

    That is pretty much the Birther and Tea Party mantra- ‘you can’t trust anyone in government- and speaking of which my social security payment was 2 days late this month’.

  4. avatar
    Majority Will March 14, 2014 at 11:25 am #

    “You’ll have a lot of egg on your face when this is over if you continue.”

    Thanks. Now I really want a Western Omelette.

  5. avatar
    Majority Will March 14, 2014 at 11:31 am #

    “Washington DC Unprepared for Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Universe Shattering Surprise.”

    Perhaps they’ve been secretly constructing a Superconducting Super Collider underneath the dive where the CCP volunteers toss out drunks.

  6. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy March 14, 2014 at 11:50 am #

    Hmmm. I got a letter from my insurance carrier this week reminding me that I don’t have earthquake coverage in my homeowners policy.

    The Magic M: Especially since even if they proved massive election fraud in Arizona by sane standards, it would not shatter anything (though of course it would cause some minor earthquakes).

  7. avatar
    bgansel9 March 14, 2014 at 11:55 am #

    “Washington DC Unprepared for Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Universe Shattering Surprise.”

    Change that to “Birthers Unprepared for Joe Arpaio’s Gubernatorial Campaign.”

    LMAO!

    If Joe pushes this birther BS, he’s going to have a lot harder time securing the governor’s mansion. :P Now that Jan Brewer has announced she is not seeking another term, Joe isn’t going to be pushing any birther crap. I can assure you of that!

  8. avatar
    Jim March 14, 2014 at 11:58 am #

    “Washington DC Unprepared for Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Universe Shattering Surprise.”

    If the universe shatters and nobody notices, does it really shatter?

  9. avatar
    Majority Will March 14, 2014 at 12:02 pm #

    Jim:
    “Washington DC Unprepared for Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Universe Shattering Surprise.”

    If the universe shatters and nobody notices, does it really shatter?

    Is that past tense for shitters?

  10. avatar
    Bonsall Obot March 14, 2014 at 12:06 pm #

    Birferism reminds me of nothing so much as a daytime drama that has long since recycled any and every implausible plot device the mind can conceive. In order to stay in the air, their contrivances become increasingly ludicrous. Call it “Any Day Now,” or “Dope Springs Eternal.”

  11. avatar
    J.D. Reed March 14, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

    The Magic M: I’m not sure they’re even gonna pretend they can only investigate crimes that happened in Arizona anymore.Then again, your guess is as good as mine.While “crimes that were committed by this regime” is still a broad announcement and could apply to anything, including “election fraud”, I don’t think they have much to base any “universe shattering” on. Especially since even if they proved massive election fraud in Arizona by sane standards, it would not shatter anything (though of course it would cause some minor earthquakes).Birthers themselves have been speculating it might be some in-depth “evidence” about the “massive conspiracy” – say, something like “we can prove Obama is actually a Saudi-Arabian on the payroll of the Saudi king”.However Gillar’s latest comments, if they’re based on any knowledge of the CCP stuff and not just his own imagination, suggest whatever it is, it is neither about birtherism nor some “usurpation conspiracy”.So somehow “universe-shattering” and “crimes committed by this administration” don’t go together.It might however turn out to be some publicity stunt with regard to the 2014 elections where latching on to some of the pseudo-scandals of the past might appear more promising to them than “the birth certificate is still forged, we double-checked”.

    Wouldn’t anything about Arizona elections be moot because any supposed election fraud by Democrats did not sway the results?

  12. avatar
    gorefan March 14, 2014 at 3:55 pm #

    Based on remarks by the three amigos over the last several months, IMO, the reveal will involve charges of obstruction of justice or interfering with an investigation for some anti-birthers for the Arizona cops. Anything else is outside their jurisdiction and would have to be investigated by the Arizona AG.

    The whole DARPA and White House IP address stuff, suggests to me that they are going to say that the “paid opposition” are guilty of obstruction.

    BTW, Gillar made one comment that I found funny:

    “I’ve already seen it. If you want to bet on an unsure thing, start betting on how many people will go to jail before it’s over. At this point the exact number is not known. ”

    My bet is Zero. No one is going to jail.

    There was also this post by Honest American News:

    “I just hung up with Mike Zullo. He informed me they will not be coming out with their results until April. ”

    And they he goes on to talk about the JFK assignation and Dick Clarke.

  13. avatar
    JPotter March 14, 2014 at 5:08 pm #

    gorefan: Dick Clarke.

    The former Cabinet member or the bandstand guy? Never know with these guys …. :P

  14. avatar
    gorefan March 14, 2014 at 5:37 pm #

    Bandstand – according to the poster Clarke was in Dallas 11/22/63.

  15. avatar
    JPotter March 14, 2014 at 5:51 pm #

    gorefan:
    Bandstand – according to the poster Clarke was in Dallas 11/22/63.

    Holy sheepdip, I should have known. Never underestimate crazy! The spelling (Clarke) made me think maybe the guy was rambling about Richard Clarke, like a good little wingnut.

  16. avatar
    Upgradedd March 14, 2014 at 6:50 pm #

    It’s not the birf certificate.. it’s not Selective Service or the Social Security numbers…
    Here is my w.a.g.
    Obama Sr. isn’t his father or Ann Dunham isn’t his mother… or both.. neither are his biological parents…

  17. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy March 14, 2014 at 6:52 pm #

    But if those aren’t his parents, you’re right back at the birth certificate.

    Upgradedd:
    It’s not the birf certificate.. it’s not Selective Serviceor the Social Security numbers…
    Here is my w.a.g.
    Obama Sr. isn’t his father or Ann Dunham isn’t his mother… or both.. neither are his biological parents…

  18. avatar
    Gary Miller March 14, 2014 at 6:58 pm #

    Mr. Gillar will be very disappointed this summer.

  19. avatar
    Commander Publius March 14, 2014 at 7:53 pm #

    Sounds like they’re going to quietly abandon the birth certificate claims and try to spin some new bullsh*t.

  20. avatar
    Commander Publius March 14, 2014 at 7:55 pm #

    And, as always, the birther faithful will eat it up.

  21. avatar
    Rickey March 14, 2014 at 11:31 pm #

    Upgradedd:
    It’s not the birf certificate.. it’s not Selective Serviceor the Social Security numbers…
    Here is my w.a.g.
    Obama Sr. isn’t his father or Ann Dunham isn’t his mother… or both.. neither are his biological parents…

    I don’t care if his parents are Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. All that matters is that he was born in Hawaii.

  22. avatar
    Whatever4 March 15, 2014 at 12:42 am #

    Upgradedd:
    It’s not the birf certificate.. it’s not Selective Serviceor the Social Security numbers…
    Here is my w.a.g.
    Obama Sr. isn’t his father or Ann Dunham isn’t his mother… or both.. neither are his biological parents…

    My question is why do you think his parents aren’t the ones on his birth certificate? I’ve never understood where the idea came from in the first place.

  23. avatar
    Dave B. March 15, 2014 at 2:31 am #

    That’s Albert Moore’s gig.

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    But if those aren’t his parents, you’re right back at the birth certificate.

  24. avatar
    Upgradedd March 15, 2014 at 10:59 am #

    Whatever4: My question is why do you think his parents aren’t the ones on his birth certificate? I’ve never understood where the idea came from in the first place.

    I don’t think that at all. My comment was a w.a.g. (wild ass guess) as to what the Birfers might think as universe shattering….
    that notion has been expressed on the BR site and comes from their version of Morbius (Zullo) and his Monsters from the Id….

  25. avatar
    Upgradedd March 15, 2014 at 11:15 am #

    Whatever4: My question is why do you think his parents aren’t the ones on his birth certificate? I’ve never understood where the idea came from in the first place.

    I don’t think that. It was my w.a.g. (wild ass guess) as to what the Birfers might claim as their universe shattering news.
    The notion has been expressed on the BR site and comes from their Dr Morbius-ish “Monsters from the Id!”

  26. avatar
    Bernard Sussman March 15, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

    The line about “The timeline doesn’t matter” is ridiculous. IF the wrong guy were in the Oval Office, I would think getting him out of there would be a project worthy of round-the-clock top-speed effort, especially with crises like Crimea needing the response of the Real President.

    Of course, explaining the “Obama Conspiracy” so it doesn’t sound ridiculous is a tall order. The Conspiracy must have started before August 1961 because it involved the birth announcements in the two Honolulu newspapers. Somehow it was decided, back in 1961, that a mulatto could get elected President less than half century in the future. Somehow it was thought desirable that the mother had to be whisked from the US into the Third World in an advanced state of pregnancy and then whisked back to the US once the baby was born – how did that advance the Conspiracy? Somehow, despite all the effort on the Conspiracy, incredible sloppiness about Social Security Numbers. And, we are asked to believe either that nobody in the Conspiracy thought about cooking up an American birth certificate for nearly 50 years (which leaves enormous questions about how this baby got on its mother’s passport at age 4) and then was able, after the passage of so much time, to get the authentic signatures of the doctor on obstetric duty at the appropriate hospital on the appropriate date and of the mother — or else that the forgery was done back when the baby was still in diapers, but somehow that forger was able to use Photoshop back in the 1960s, and the forger is still alive – and for some unexplained reason the secret about being born in Kenya was gratuitously revealed to the child, who occasionally (we are led to believe) lets slip about this absolutely crucial secret. Except of course, for the claim that the entire intelligence community at the command of the President is somehow involved in forging this birth certificate using the very latest high-tech, and is so slipshod that rank amateurs using department store computers and software are able …. etc. etc.

    Jeez, the conspiracies in the James Bond movies always seem to be a couple of notches more polished than this.

  27. avatar
    Sef March 15, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

    Upgradedd:
    It’s not the birf certificate.. it’s not Selective Serviceor the Social Security numbers…
    Here is my w.a.g.
    Obama Sr. isn’t his father or Ann Dunham isn’t his mother… or both.. neither are his biological parents…

    Even if any of your w.a.g. (you forgot the “s” before the “w”) were true, it would not change the fact that the State of Hawaii has confirmed that he was born there, so he is a NBC of sufficient age to be President. Your w.a.g. is of no concern.

  28. avatar
    Bonsall Obot March 15, 2014 at 6:17 pm #

    Pretty sure if you read Upgradedd’s replies you’ll see that she or he is an anti-Birfer and that her or his WAG is mocking the Birfers.

  29. avatar
    Sef March 15, 2014 at 6:26 pm #

    Bonsall Obot:
    Pretty sure if you read Upgradedd’s replies you’ll see that she or he is an anti-Birfer and that her or his WAG is mocking the Birfers.

    Where, oh where, are the snark tags when needed.

  30. avatar
    justlw March 15, 2014 at 8:22 pm #

    The extra D is for a double dose of snarking.

  31. avatar
    hy low March 16, 2014 at 2:20 am #

    Changing a Birth Certificate
    If there is incorrect or missing information on your child’s birth certificate, you may make a request for an amendment. The Office of Vital Statistics can assist in preparing or requesting amendments to birth certificates for all years of birth.

    The following forms and instructions are available:

    Adding a Father to a Birth Record (Acknowledgement of Paternity) (pdf)
    Adjudication of Facts of Parentage (pdf)
    Affidavit to Amend a Birth Record (pdf)
    Correcting Gender Errors on Birth Certificates (pdf)
    Court Order Delayed Registration of Birth (pdf)
    Court Order Name Change (pdf)
    Delayed Registration of Birth (pdf)
    Not sure which form you need? Call the Office of Vital Statistics at (707) 565-4407 for more information

  32. avatar
    RanTalbott March 16, 2014 at 2:41 am #

    Bernard Sussman: Jeez, the conspiracies in the James Bond movies always seem to be a couple of notches more polished than this

    That’s because they are: they have writers’ conference where experienced professionals carefully draw the line between “just far enough over the top” and “batshit insane”. So you get a product that’s obviously not real, but that people can enjoy with only a modest suspension of disbelief.

    But birfers have no equivalent editorial control, so birferism is a dog’s breakfast of whatever loony ideas anyone with a webcam, and a nephew who can walk him through the process of uploading to Youtube, can come up with. With side orders of myths, concocted by grifters and spin doctors, designed to push people’s hot buttons (e.g., “Marxist” and “sealed records”).

    It’s the difference between “a little healthy escapist fun” and “a desperate flight from reality”.

  33. avatar
    Keith March 16, 2014 at 3:27 am #

    The Magic M: It might however turn out to be some publicity stunt with regard to the 2014 elections

    Gee, ya think?

  34. avatar
    RanTalbott March 17, 2014 at 3:32 am #

    The gang at Birfer Report are all a-twitter (or whatever it is that kids get all “a-” wehn they’re excited, now that the verb has been hijacked by that gossip-mongering service…) about a report in the Post & E-Fail that the Alabama SC might finally issues its ruling in McInnish “this week”,

    The ship hasn’t even sighted the iceberg yet, but already the damage control has begun. Some less-insane birfers are suddenly pointing out the limited scope of the case And being castigated as “Obots” for daring to suggest that Roy Moore isn’t going to order the AL National Guard to march on DC and bring him the head of The Usurper on a pike.

    There’s specualtion of varying degrees of hilarity about what to do now that Obama’s removal has become “a done deal”.

    One of the more interesting quotes came from “Joe Mannix” (about whom it has speculated, but without even a birfer level of “proof”, that he’s a CCP insider of some sort):

    If the ruling is not a success for Klayman, the obots will pounce on the moment stateing that the justices read Zullo’s affidavit as a key factor in their decision not believing his evidence declaring victory. But the reality is that in most appeals cases involving state supreme courts, justices usually don’t read any affidavits submitted to them. Zullo sent the affidavit as a friendly gesture for Klayman.

    I don’t see how any Obot could do that, since pretty much every one who’s commented on the daffydavit has cut the legs out from under any such leap by making remarks like mine: that it’s currently being used to protect the office furniture from coffee-cup rings. But birfers do show a remarkable lack of concern about maintaininng consistency with their previous claims, so it might not seem so pataently absurd to them…

    I just hope the ruling is released before air time for Fellatio Friday, so we can tune in and listen to Baghdad Carl ‘splaining that the AL Supreme Court is “of no concern”.

  35. avatar
    The Magic M March 17, 2014 at 7:36 am #

    RanTalbott: There’s specualtion of varying degrees of hilarity about what to do now that Obama’s removal has become “a done deal”.

    Every new OMG moment brings for them some sort of dopamine rush when they indulge in the fantasies of “what we’re gonna do to Obama and his voters (and the blacks and the Muslims and the gays and…)”. Without it, they would certainly self-destruct.

    RanTalbott: But birfers do show a remarkable lack of concern about maintaininng consistency with their previous claims

    They’re quite consistent in their standard crank MO of dealing with their own “evidence”. Before any decision, it’s “rock-solid”, “irrefutable” and “damning”. After any decision, it was “ignored by the court”, “not read”, “case didn’t get to the merits” etc.
    You see the same with salesmen of quack medicine (who are always in frantic spin mode when the “expert analysis” that “proves our stuff heals cancer” is rejected by real experts).

    RanTalbott: I just hope the ruling is released before air time for Fellatio Friday

    I’m 99.9% certain there will be no ruling this Friday (or any of the next). The appeal to anonymous “inside sources” is usually a reliable tell-tale of a completely made-up story.

    The whole birther universe seems to be revolving around the Great March Showndown, so they just had to add something to the “Zullo-shattering evidence” and the Laity SCOTUS case (dead-filed for March 28th). Maybe some Hail Mary to milk the last cent off their devoted donors.

    In two weeks, they’ll just switch to the “American Spring” in May and most will collectively “forget” anything was ever promised for March. Maybe they’ll throw Gallups under the bus (Zullo: “I never said March, that was Carl, blame him!”) and find a new “CCP speaker”.

  36. avatar
    RanTalbott March 17, 2014 at 8:04 am #

    The Magic M: The appeal to anonymous “inside sources” is usually a reliable tell-tale of a completely made-up story.

    But, but … this was an anonymous source who “had a face-to-face conversation” with Moore. Of course, they did leave out the part about “Would you like fries with that?” being about 20% of said chat…

    The Magic M: Maybe they’ll throw Gallups under the bus (Zullo: “I never said March, that was Carl, blame him!”) and find a new “CCP speaker”.

    I’ve noticed that someone claiming to be Gilliar is also claiming on BR to be playing a prominent role in the next dog and pony show.

  37. avatar
    The Magic M March 17, 2014 at 11:54 am #

    RanTalbott: they did leave out the part about “Would you like fries with that?”

    Now it sounds credible!

    Cletus McScot: “Would you like fries with that?”
    Judge Roy Moore: “Hell naw, young man, I ain’t got no time for no fries, I gots to prepare my ruling for Friday! That Obama thing, y’know? But don’t tell the press, you hear me, son?”
    Cletus McScot: “Of course not, your highness. Enjoy your fat-free McSmudge with extra fat!”

  38. avatar
    Rickey March 17, 2014 at 12:51 pm #

    hy low:
    Changing a Birth Certificate
    If there is incorrect or missing information on your child’s birth certificate, you may make a request for an amendment. The Office of Vital Statistics can assist in preparing or requesting amendments to birth certificates for all years of birth.

    The following forms and instructions are available:

    Adding a Father to a Birth Record (Acknowledgement of Paternity) (pdf)
    Adjudication of Facts of Parentage (pdf)
    Affidavit to Amend a Birth Record (pdf)
    Correcting Gender Errors on Birth Certificates (pdf)
    Court Order Delayed Registration of Birth (pdf)
    Court Order Name Change (pdf)
    Delayed Registration of Birth (pdf)
    Not sure which form you need? Call the Office of Vital Statistics at (707) 565-4407 for more information

    Area code 707? What does Sonoma County, California have to do with Obama’s birth certificate?

  39. avatar
    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater March 17, 2014 at 2:43 pm #

    hy low: Not sure which form you need? Call the Office of Vital Statistics at (707) 565-4407 for more information

    Nice copy and paste
    http://www.sonoma-county.org/health/services/birthcertificates.asp

    Too bad this has to do with California and not Hawaii also any amendments after the date would be marked as such.

  40. avatar
    Majority Will March 17, 2014 at 3:10 pm #

    Rickey: Area code 707? What does Sonoma County, California have to do with Obama’s birth certificate?

    Isn’t it obvious? It’s because . . . um . . . BENGHAZI ! !

  41. avatar
    Rickey March 17, 2014 at 5:10 pm #

    Majority Will: Isn’t it obvious? It’s because . . . um . . . BENGHAZI ! !

    But of course! (head slap)