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America’s toughest governor?

No. After dallying with a run for governor of Arizona many times, Joe Arpaio, dubbed “America’s toughest sheriff,” ended speculation today. Fox News in Phoenix published this statement from Arpaio:

I cannot in good conscience leave the Sheriff’s office now, since that would be necessary if I declare a candidacy for Governor. Currently, I have several sensitive investigations in progress and am facing many challenges in my office. Because of this, I will not desert the people of Maricopa County who have elected me six times. Further, I cannot desert my dedicated employees.

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23 Responses to America’s toughest governor?

  1. avatar
    Bonsall Obot May 22, 2014 at 1:54 pm #

    “I have several sensitive investigations in progress …”

    Truer words were never spoken. This Sheriff is constantly under investigation.

  2. avatar
    JPotter May 22, 2014 at 2:29 pm #

    Oh my, what a martyr. “Here, Shurrif, let me steady that sword for you …. “

  3. avatar
    Daniel May 22, 2014 at 2:36 pm #

    Further, I cannot imagine I could possibly get elected outside by redneck base in Maricopa County.

  4. avatar
    Dave B. May 22, 2014 at 2:44 pm #

    Never underestimate the capriciousness of the Arizona electorate.

    Daniel: Further, I cannot imagine I could possibly get elected outside by redneck base in Maricopa County.

  5. avatar
    AnyDayNow May 22, 2014 at 2:53 pm #

    We are never going to hear the end of this from the usual suspects as they are going to be crowing on for months (while they are still waiting for the CCP info) about how this proves that Arpaio himself is ‘confirming’ the ‘earth shattering’ evidence. Even though he was very vauge about these sensitive investigations, they will claim that the vagueness is itself proof that he is trying to keep Obama and all of his evil agents in the dark and that this must mean that things are going to happen any minute now….yada, yada, yada. More than likely Arpaio isn’t running because he knows he doesn’t stand a chance, but he wants to spin it to appear that he is sacrificing his own political ambition for the sake of others. How noble, to sacrifice something that you were never going to get anyway! But back to my original point, even months from now, when they are still getting sporadic ‘very, very, very, very soon’ promises from Zullo, they will be using this sound-bite to try to convince themselves and others that Arpaio is actually going to risk what’s left of his reputation by being connected to another side show like the original (and probably one-and-only) press release a few years ago. That’s why he lets Zullo do all the talking, so that he can keep a ‘plausible deniability’ distance between himself and any loony thing that Zullo might try to claim. I also noticed that in his excuse for not running, he said he will not desert ‘the people of Maricopa County’, but he didn’t say he wouldn’t desert the American People. Seems to me that if these ‘sensitive investigations’ were actually about Obama and if he actually had ANYTHING, he would be thinking of himself as protecting all of us, not just those in his own district. And lastly, I really wish that a reporter would actually press Arpaio with direct and blunt questions about Zullo’s claims that he speaks for Arpaio and weather he confirms what Zullo has said in his name.

  6. avatar
    Comrade Fogovich May 22, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

    Good opportunity to whack the Birther Report hive with a stick. :D

  7. avatar
    Benji Franklin May 22, 2014 at 5:23 pm #

    AnyDayNow: We are never going to hear the end of this from the usual suspects as they are going to be crowing on for months (while they are still waiting for the CCP info) about how this proves that Arpaio himself is ‘confirming’ the ‘earth shattering’ evidence.

    Oh shucks! Let’s slither down into the pseudo-journalistic gutter with Sharon’s Pestilence Ewe-mail, Mike Violin’s Glob, and the yellowest of all journalistic recesses, Pee Pee Summons Rodeo Nutwork, featuring the over-enunciated lies of Karl Gall Oops!

    Here’s how we’d “report it” if we were like them:

    “Sheriff Joe’s Last Chance at AZ Governorship Spoiled by Association with Lunatic Birthers”

    “Birthers On Suicide Watch After Sheriff Bails on Seeking the Power they needed!”

    “Author: Birthers on tape Cursing Motherhood and God while praying TO Sheriff Our Pie Hole?”

    “Brittish Int. Expert: Joe Staying on as Sheriff to keep a lid on DNA evidence proving Mike Zoo Low crapped on the head of a pregnant Obot”

    “Pregnant Obot sending all members of Congress a Sheriff’s Posse’s crap identification kit; Is this why Zoo Low is seeking an injunction forbidding pregnant Obot from shaking her head near ANY fan?”

    “Steve Stucktan Interested in Chairing Congressional Smelling to identify Substance On Obat Mom-to-be’s Head?”

    “Bombshell Shocker :Stuckton Chief-of-staff’s Lips Read saying ‘Zoo Low’….crapping…..expectant….sample….head….stinks!”

    “Mass Birther Indictments coming for misprision of felony crapping; Foul Con expected to be first bird-brain to be summoned.”

    “Zoo Low claims runs-a-way grand jury is on an anti-crapping expedition!”

  8. avatar
    john May 22, 2014 at 8:00 pm #

    Boy! Did Sheriff Arpiao just put egg on the Obot’s faces. Super Obot Frank Arduini said that Arpaio abandoned the birth certificate investigation years ago. I guess we now know that Frank is dead wrong.

  9. avatar
    Thomas Brown May 22, 2014 at 10:16 pm #

    Benji, you need a vacation. This stuff is getting to you.

    On the other hand, I read all of it…

  10. avatar
    Dave May 22, 2014 at 11:35 pm #

    john, I admit I also thought Arpaio had abandoned it. However, it’s not this announcement that proved me wrong — Arpaio wasn’t willing to come out say he meant Zullo’s investigation. What proved me wrong was his interview a couple weeks back. He really said some crazy stuff. Although he hedged some of the questions, he left no doubt that he’s a birther.

  11. avatar
    justlw May 23, 2014 at 12:07 am #

    john:
    Boy!Did Sheriff Arpiao just put egg on the Obot’s faces.Super Obot Frank Arduini said that Arpaio abandoned the birth certificate investigation years ago.I guess we now know that Frank is dead wrong.

    Group “A” thinks man “B” stopped slamming head against wall and soiling himself years ago; man “B” recently emerges with fresh forehead and underwear stains. Boy, is group “A” embarrassed!

  12. avatar
    Curious George May 23, 2014 at 12:16 am #

    john:
    Boy!Did Sheriff Arpiao just put egg on the Obot’s faces.Super Obot Frank Arduini said that Arpaio abandoned the birth certificate investigation years ago.I guess we now know that Frank is dead wrong.

    John, how much money has the “investigation” brought in and how was it spent? An insider like you would surely know.

  13. avatar
    bovril May 23, 2014 at 3:51 am #

    John,

    For the wider and less deluded audience would you care to explain exactly how, by running away from an election campaign he would never be able to win, has Arpaio “put egg on the Obot’s face”?

    Serously, would love to see the tortuous wriggling you would spout.

    Here are, in no particular order are some of the ACTUAL reasons Piehole didn’t run

    1. He was doing a Donny Combover where he was ginning up his ever decreasing base for money and stuff with no actual intent of really running

    2. After his “announcement” that he would be running the actual contributions he was banking on never actually materialised

    3. He realised that to run he would have to step down as sherrif meaning he would be out of a job, no longer have access to the current power levers he has and would never regain them

    4. By realising he would no longer be sherrif the potential for personal litigation (with a high probability of success) against him with no Maricopa County funds to pay the legal costs and judgements would bankrupt him was too scary

    5. Ditto the above on potential ongoing federal charges against him as a private citizen for his actions as Sherrif

    Etc

    Looks like Ole Joe is the one with egg on the face as he has, by his own actions, backed himself into a corner he can’t escape from. It’s either claw on and stay as sherrif with the cover, legal and finacial it provides or bad things (from his perspective) will happen

  14. avatar
    Thomas Brown May 23, 2014 at 6:49 am #

    Oh john, it is so delicious watching you guys salivate over something that will just never happen! Really. Keep it up. Don’t ever accept the reality that Obama is NOT going to be taken down by Arpaio, Zullo, Apuzzo, or any other Birfin’ Bozo.

  15. avatar
    Bonsall Obot May 23, 2014 at 7:44 am #

    So Shurf Joke makes a vaguely ominous statement to further string along the rubes, revealing exactly zero information or even a timetable for the release of information… and it’s Obots who have egg on their faces?

    Keep plucking that chicken, john.

  16. avatar
    Lupin May 23, 2014 at 8:37 am #

    john: Boy! Did Sheriff Arpiao just put egg on the Obot’s faces. Super Obot Frank Arduini said that Arpaio abandoned the birth certificate investigation years ago. I guess we now know that Frank is dead wrong.

    Yes one doesn’t kill the goose that lays golden eggs — you’re the living proof of that.

  17. avatar
    bgansel9 May 23, 2014 at 11:16 am #

    Why is everyone here under the impression that Arpaio would never win? Not long ago there was a piece in the Arizona Republic stating that there were several candidates for Arizona Governor, but no front runners and nobody with high profile status (and that included our SoS Bennett). If Arpaio had run, he would have the the highest profile of anyone and I expect he would have won pretty handily. I’m glad he has decided not to run, but, I don’t get why so many here think Arpaio doesn’t have support in Arizona. There are a lot of people here who would have supported him, despite all that he has and hasn’t done for (or to) Maricopa County.

  18. avatar
    Dave B. May 23, 2014 at 12:08 pm #

    Arpaio was lucky in his last election to have a particular constituency for which his age elicits more empathy than concern.

    bgansel9:
    Why is everyone here under the impression that Arpaio would never win? Not long ago there was a piece in the Arizona Republic stating that there were several candidates for Arizona Governor, but no front runners and nobody with high profile status (and that included our SoS Bennett).If Arpaio had run, he would have the the highest profile of anyone and I expect he would have won pretty handily. I’m glad he has decided not to run, but, I don’t get why so many here think Arpaio doesn’t have support in Arizona. There are a lot of people here who would have supported him, despite all that he has and hasn’t done for (or to) Maricopa County.

  19. avatar
    bgansel9 May 23, 2014 at 3:05 pm #

    Dave B.: Arpaio was lucky in his last election to have a particular constituency for which his age elicits more empathy than concern

    Arpaio lives in a red state. If he were the Republican candidate for governor, he would certainly win.

  20. avatar
    Bonsall Obot May 23, 2014 at 3:12 pm #

    To steal from Neil Simon:

    You’re running for Governor? I wouldn’t let you run for Chinese food!

  21. avatar
    Dave B. May 23, 2014 at 3:20 pm #

    Tell that to Matt Salmon. Len Munsil would REALLY be glad to hear it.

    bgansel9: Arpaio lives in a red state. If he were the Republican candidate for governor, he would certainly win.

  22. avatar
    bgansel9 May 23, 2014 at 9:51 pm #

    Dave B.: Tell that to Matt Salmon. Len Munsil would REALLY be glad to hear it

    This is not 2006.

  23. avatar
    Dave B. May 23, 2014 at 10:18 pm #

    You’re right, it’s not. Arpaio’s eight years older than he was then.

    bgansel9: This is not 2006.