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Obots offer witness protection to embattled birthers

Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come for You?

First, the title is just kidding. Obots don’t have any authority to offer anything in the way of protection to birthers. I’m just a retired guy who blogs. What I wanted to mention was two recent items where birthers are being singled out by other birthers as criminals.

The first is the obvious Douglas Vogt unsealed affidavit that charges Birther Princess Miki Booth with being part of the group forging Obama’s birth certificate. Some birthers were happy to take that and run with it.

The second is the charge from Carl Gallups that Douglas Vogt said things that were untrue in his unsealed affidavit before the U. S. Supreme Court. Gallups is right, by the way.

Meanwhile one wonders how many more birthers are going to get on the “Zullo is just stringing us on” bandwagon. That sentiment certainly has Carl Gallups upset.

Birthers have never gotten along that well because the prominent birthers want to be leaders, and you can’t have everybody being a leader. Conspiracy theorists are by nature lone researchers and they do not take kindly to competing theories. The messiest example was of course the lawsuit between several birthers, including Orly Taitz, Lisa Liberi and Phil Berg. Then just yesterday we had that whiny rant from Carl Gallups declaring Mike Zullo (and Gallups as his sole spokesperson) the only one who has accomplished anything for the birther movement, calling the rest “jealous.”

Conspiracy theories tend to develop factions—just look at all the Kennedy Assassination theories, or the LIH v. MIH factions for 9/11. Birthers are no different. Their theories include:

  • Obama was born in Kenya
  • Obama was born in Hawaii fathered by Frank Marshall Davis
  • Obama was fathered by Malcolm X
  • Obama isn’t related to the Dunhams
  • Obama was born in Hawaii to Ann Dunham and Barack Obama Sr. but ineligible anyway
  • Hawaii is/is not in on it
  • Nancy Owens forged the birth certificate
  • Miki Booth and friend forged the birth certificate

Factions

I was trying to come up with a list of birther factions, and frankly there are other anti-birthers that follow birther personalities much more closely than I. Here are some:

  • Orly Taitz faction, aligned with Pastor Manning
  • Arpaio/Zullo faction (Zubots) including Carl Gallups, Mark Gillar, Mike Volin, Miki Booth (with Booth also aligned with Manning). I would put Manning on this list but he keeps calling him “Mike Zulu.”
  • Phil Berg faction (extinct)
  • The Birther Report faction including Sharon Rondeau
  • The Lucas Smith faction including Bruce Steadman
  • The Douglas Vogt faction including Paul Irey
  • Nancy Owens faction including Nancy Owens
  • Donofrio/Apuzzo faction includes Devvy Kidd and a cast of thousands
  • Martha Trowbridge/Montgomery Blair Sibley

Perhaps we’ll have a chart someday.

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37 Responses to Obots offer witness protection to embattled birthers

  1. avatar
    Curious George May 25, 2014 at 7:26 pm #

    I think a Birther first aid station is needed as well as a Birther protection program. They are self destructing day by day with their infighting.

  2. avatar
    Slartibartfast May 25, 2014 at 9:17 pm #

    I would add the Apuzzo/Donofrio Vattelite faction. Sure, they may be tiny (and their founder left long ago to play poker or be the paraclete or something), but what birther faction isn’t?

  3. avatar
    Benji Franklin May 25, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

    KARL Gall Oops!:”Well, Hello again, Listeners, and welcome back to Free Dumb Fridays! On our show today, here’s a shout out to all the Birthers who have financially supported us and lent their public voice to our cause for all these years, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, not just as a pastor who brings you the cleansing message of God’s love but as a fellow citizen of this great republic, and please know that I mean it when I say: “GO TO HELL!”

    I’m sick to death of you impatient, whiney-assed little-bitty cry-baby Birthers and Mike Zoo Low has asked me to tell you, WE’RE SENDING ALL OF YOUR MONEY BACK – yes, EVERY PENNY, and ALL the souvenirs from Hawaii and all the motel soap Mike saved from hiding all over the country on the nation-wide dirt-search he called “an investigation! We’re fed up with waiting for you to demonstrate some patience. YOU DON’T DESERVE US!

    Why, the only things we expected of you were to buy our bullcrap, provide us with an unaccountable income, and if you can’t be polite until the end of the scam, crawl away and DIE somewhere, but PLEASE, do it with some dignity, okay? We don’t need your whiney-ass complaints! And a word about Hell, I talk to God more often than I talk to Zoo Low, so if you think you may have offended me or Mike, consider bequeathing me and the Zoo Lowster whatever assets the Devil has tricked you into leaving to your kids.

    Poor Mike Zoo Low and Sheriff Our Pie Hole! All they wanted to do was prove that the Birth certificate was okay and Obama was eligible to be President. And I promise you, THEY TRIED! They tried just as hard as Hitler tried to avoid war with Poland, and just as hard as Lee Harvey Oswald tried to prove that President Kennedy was safe riding through Dallas.

    Let me tell you something, in all honesty – you Birthers made me sick ALL ALONG! It turned my stomach to ask you for money and let your little whiney-ass voices be heard calling in to my radio shows! THAT’s OVER!

    And by golly, so is our show for today, but today, instead of closing by saying, “Go in peace”, the Man upstairs has put it in my heart to say, “Go in PIECES, you whiney-ass little Cry-baby Birthers! So long everybody!”

  4. avatar
    RanTalbott May 26, 2014 at 12:07 am #

    Curious George: I think a Birther first aid station is needed

    Socialized medicine. Birfer no like.

  5. avatar
    The European May 26, 2014 at 2:52 am #

    Hey, can someone post Benji Franklin´s last sermon on BR ? They need some help. I am baned there ….

  6. avatar
    Jim F May 26, 2014 at 4:05 am #

    I woulda thunk dat Larry K deserved a mention in dere somewheres.

  7. avatar
    Comrade Fogovich May 26, 2014 at 7:37 am #

    The European:
    Hey, can someone post Benji Franklin´s last sermon on BR ? They need some help. I am baned there ….

    I can only get comments posted there using my phone, and I can’t copy and paste with my phone.

  8. avatar
    Bob May 26, 2014 at 8:40 am #

    Birthers: abandoned, rudderless, drifting . . .

  9. avatar
    bgansel9 May 26, 2014 at 9:30 am #

    “Nancy Owens faction including Nancy Owens”

    And nobody else? Can you call a party of one a faction? Are there actually any other birthers out there crazy enough to fall for Nancy’s BS stories? Just curious.

  10. avatar
    Comrade Fogovich May 26, 2014 at 10:39 am #

    I submit the Martha Trowbridge/Monty Sibley faction, whose parents are Malcolm X & Elizabeth Duke.

    :D

  11. avatar
    Lupin May 26, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    What we need is a set of famous birthers trading cards.

    Somehow I fear the Orly card will not stay in mint condition for long.

  12. avatar
    John Reilly May 26, 2014 at 12:58 pm #

    You are leaving out the faction which asserts Pres. Obama is a shape shifting reptile. I believe one of the federal judges, perhaps Judge Land, alluded to this.

    I don’t see Mr. Laity on this list. He has a new letter out as he is reporting to various police departments as he believes he has been instructed.

    I see three factions:

    The grifters and con men.

    The gullible. They believe anything they hear.

    And the anti-evolutionists: people like Dr. Taitz, who disprove the theory of evolution every time they speak.

  13. avatar
    Slartibartfast May 26, 2014 at 1:16 pm #

    Some anthropological thought about the Berg faction…

    Berg always steadfastly rejected the “two citizen parents” theory, making him perhaps the only birther who was sound on the law (if President Obama had been born outside of the country, a strong argument could be made that he was ineligible) even if pesky facts like the Hawai’i DoH backing of the COLB and LFBC rendered his reasoning irrelevant. He always seems to have understood that the two main birther camps contradict each other and you must choose one or the other.

    What I can’t recall seeing is his mirror image—a birther who supports the spurious legal reasoning of the Vattelites but realizes that their argument all but requires the President’s birth circumstances to be as presented. For instance, neither Mario nor any of his sycophants are willing to accept that President Obama was born in Hawai’i even though any theory which posits a forgery of the COLB or LFBC makes their assertions absurd.

    Personally, I think this asymmetry is caused by their inability to rationally assess any argument due to the fact that their are contradictions in their assumptions (Berg’s legal argument being sound, doesn’t have to worry about this, just that his success depends on his being able to overcome the full faith and credit the Constitution gives to the Hawai’i DoH).

  14. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 26, 2014 at 1:51 pm #

    Gary Kreep also held this view.

    Slartibartfast: Berg always steadfastly rejected the “two citizen parents” theory, making him perhaps the only birther who was sound on the law

  15. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 26, 2014 at 2:11 pm #

    Certainly several of the court cases were presented that way and some Vattelists have declined to argue the African Genesis theory (whether they believe it or not).

    Todd House, for example, is reported to have said in an interview that he doesn’t believe Obama was born in Kenya but said that the president has not proved he was born in the United States. He demands microfiche.

    Bob Gard believes the travel ban to Pakistan, and even Jerry Colette has doubts about where Obama was born.

    Slartibartfast: What I can’t recall seeing is his mirror image—a birther who supports the spurious legal reasoning of the Vattelites but realizes that their argument all but requires the President’s birth circumstances to be as presented.

  16. avatar
    Reality Check May 26, 2014 at 3:33 pm #

    I think some time ago Orly dropped the two parent citizen argument from her standard list. I think she said something to the effect that it is a losing argument.

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Gary Kreep also held this view.

  17. avatar
    Reality Check May 26, 2014 at 3:34 pm #

    Reality Check:
    I think some time ago Orly dropped the two parent citizen argument from her standard list of whatever she is pushing. I think she said something to the effect that it is a losing argument.

  18. avatar
    Benji Franklin May 26, 2014 at 8:28 pm #

    Lupin: What we need is a set of famous birthers trading cards.

    Somehow I fear the Orly card will not stay in mint condition for long.

    That’s right! All cards handled by Orly will quickly deteriorate into an oil of cloves condition.

    But many of us recall the CURIOUS jarring upswing in technical literacy which Orly’s legal filings displayed when a disbarred lawyer and she, the dentist, for a romantically brief and appallingly briefless interlude, temporarily joined farces (and more), in an X-rated broken-English amalgamation of reclining-chair dentistry and correctly spelled words.

    And THAT, leads me to predict that the Chas Lincoln III / Orly Birther Couples Card will be the most collectible Birther Card because that card seems to answer the question his literate drafts provoked about their relationship, namely, “Who’s the dentist and who’s the lawyer here?” with the card’s caption, “Who’s drilling whom?”

    And breathes there the cold-hearted Obot who doubts that, despite Orly’s apparent life-long habit of SCREECHING, Chucky’s genuine fondness for Orly was ALL that was behind his effort to tutor her through her difficulties with the English language by focusing her attention on only one of that languages formal part of speech, that being ‘ejaculation’?

  19. avatar
    Jim May 26, 2014 at 8:32 pm #

    Lupin:
    What we need is a set of famous birthers trading cards.

    I would say a deck of playing cards like they had for Iraq…but what good is a deck of all Jokers?

  20. avatar
    Keith (not logged on) May 26, 2014 at 11:35 pm #

    bgansel9:
    “Nancy Owens faction including Nancy Owens”

    And nobody else? Can you call a party of one a faction? Are there actually any other birthers out there crazy enough to fall for Nancy’s BS stories?Just curious.

    If ‘she’ has Multiple Personality Disorder can you say there is just one of her?

  21. avatar
    Keith (not logged on) May 27, 2014 at 12:34 am #

    Dr. Conspiracy: Bob Gard believes the travel ban to Pakistan, and even Jerry Colette has doubts about where Obama was born.

    The thing that has struck me about the Pakistan ‘travel ban’ is that even if the US had said that US citizens could not go to Pakistan, there is no way for them to actually enforce it. Only Pakistan can decide who can cross its border (at least from a legal point of view).

    I personally know Americans who have been to Cuba, in spite of the travel ban.

  22. avatar
    RanTalbott May 27, 2014 at 12:55 am #

    Keith (not logged on): there is no way for them to actually enforce it

    There is if they return home.

    We generally consider a law “enforced” when people are fined and/or jailed for violating it.

    Perhaps even more so than we do when violations are deterred, since that tends to be less visible.

  23. avatar
    y_p_w May 27, 2014 at 1:06 am #

    Keith (not logged on): The thing that has struck me about the Pakistan ‘travel ban’ is that even if the US had said that US citizens could not go to Pakistan, there is no way for them to actually enforce it. Only Pakistan can decide who can cross its border (at least from a legal point of view).

    I personally know Americans who have been to Cuba, in spite of the travel ban.

    The “travel bans” that have been in place were more or less economic sanctions in the form of a personal spending embargo. And it’s been pretty much toothless, as many can attest.

    Even so, there’s never been any such embargo against Pakistan. For the most part the State Dept travel advisories have been about dangerous places. However, those have never turned into bans. They’ve pretty much been hints that it would be stupid for Americans to travel to such places. However, as birthers continuously prove, being stupid is not necessarily illegal or prohibited.

  24. avatar
    Matt May 27, 2014 at 1:30 am #

    You forgot clone. Some nut thinks Obama is a clone. see http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2014/05/oas-live-stream-operation-american-spring-live-stream-right-here-right-now-2957332.html for details. Its crazy.

  25. avatar
    bgansel9 May 27, 2014 at 9:48 am #

    Keith (not logged on): If ‘she’ has Multiple Personality Disorder can you say there is just one of her?

    How ever many voices are inside her head is her own problem. She is still only one person.

  26. avatar
    bgansel9 May 27, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    Benji Franklin: And THAT, leads me to predict that the Chas Lincoln III / Orly Birther Couples Card will be the most collectible Birther Card because that card seems to answer the question his literate drafts provoked about their relationship, namely, “Who’s the dentist and who’s the lawyer here?” with the card’s caption, “Who’s drilling whom?”

    Oh damn, I gotta have that. :P

  27. avatar
    Bob May 27, 2014 at 12:37 pm #

    There is a video of Nancy Ruth on BirtherReport which I found quite sad and disturbing. She claims to be pregnant which I sincerely hope is not true.

    I used to egg her on a bit but after seeing that video I won’t again.

    That said, her Obama obsessions are no more ridiculous than Orly’s, or Falcon’s, etc.

  28. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 27, 2014 at 2:14 pm #

    I doubt that any of us is the father.

    Bob: There is a video of Nancy Ruth on BirtherReport which I found quite sad and disturbing. She claims to be pregnant which I sincerely hope is not true.

  29. avatar
    bgansel9 May 27, 2014 at 6:21 pm #

    Bob: I used to egg her on

    Surely not in that way! LOL

  30. avatar
    bgansel9 May 27, 2014 at 7:01 pm #

    Hey Bob, do you have a link to that video? I’d like to see it.

  31. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 27, 2014 at 7:36 pm #

    * Attention *

    It’s not true.

    The video is not of Nancy Owens, and it’s not recent (March 2012).

    It was just some lame BR commenter trying to insult Foggy and me.

    The video is titled on YouTube Ashli Gay.

    Bob: There is a video of Nancy Ruth on BirtherReport which I found quite sad and disturbing. She claims to be pregnant which I sincerely hope is not true.

  32. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 27, 2014 at 7:37 pm #

    * Attention *

    It’s not true.

    The video is not of Nancy Owens, and it’s not recent (March 2012).

    It was just some lame BR commenter trying to insult Foggy and me.

    The video is titled on YouTube Ashli Gay.

    bgansel9: Hey Bob, do you have a link to that video? I’d like to see it.

  33. avatar
    bgansel9 May 27, 2014 at 7:41 pm #

    Well, that’s why I didn’t find it on NRO’s Youtube account. Thanks Doc. Good work!

  34. avatar
    bgansel9 May 27, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

    That video that Bob thought was NRO was once the subject on a Tosh-0 segment on Comedy Central.

  35. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy May 30, 2014 at 7:48 pm #

    Brilliant comment at Birther Report:

    “Release date: It won’t be June before July 4th holiday, and it won’t be July, before august month break. The only time it could be is mid-september [as an october surprise] or after the november elections, which doesn’t make sense because of Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. The only time IMO, is mid september or March 2015.”

  36. avatar
    JPotter May 30, 2014 at 10:31 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: Brilliant comment at Birther Report:

    All March ’til Frog march, Comrades!

  37. avatar
    JPotter May 30, 2014 at 10:33 pm #

    Lupin: What we need is a set of famous birthers trading cards.

    An oft-made suggestion. Well, Doc (with help) made that bang-up A-Z list… bet there’s 51 likelies in there somewhere.

    Why 51? What, you expect a full deck? :P

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