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Faux quote challenge

Here’s a contest that I announce with just a little trepidation. The idea is to come up with a “quotation” that you attribute to a historical figure, only it has to be fake.

If you need examples, you probably need go no further than your email inbox, or Facebook—or you could also visit the Orly Taitz blog:

imageThe first and third are bogus. I think the second is questionable—widely quoted, but never with a source. I wrote about them in my article “Apocryphal quotes on Taitz web site.”

My fear is that one of the better entries may some day find itself in my email inbox.

Birther Burma-Shave contest

Inspired by a comment from Curious George, I’m holding a contest for the best birther themed Burma-Shave ad. In the United States between 1925 and 1963, the Burma-Shave brushless shaving cream product was advertised with signs on US Highways. Each sign had a part of a pithy 4-5 line poem poem, followed by the final sign saying “Burma-Shave.”

Here’s an adaptation from a sign I remember from my youth:

In this world
Of toil and sin
The birthers sue
But Never Win
Burma-Shave1

So let’s see your ideas!


1The original version of that poem ended:

Your hair grows bald
But not your chin

Vogon poetry contest

According to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (chapter 7) , Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The example given in the book goes:

Oh freddled gruntbuggly ..
?… thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And booptiously drangle me with crunkly bindlewurdles
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!

So the contest is for the most effective creation of poem in the Vogon style that contains the the character string “zullo.”

Thanks to commenters for the idea.

Birther scavenger hunt

I haven’t held a contest in ages. This is a serial scavenger hunt. The object is to find an image on the Internet of whatever birther-themed thing is requested and post the link.

When someone finds the image and posts the link, that person gets to propose the next image. To keep things serial, make sure no one has already posted the solution before you post yours. It may be useful to work out your own challenges well in advance.

I’ll start the ball rolling with an easy one:

Find an image of Orly Taitz and a dentist’s chair.

In keeping with the birther theme, the decision of the judges is not final.

Heads up, kiddies: there’s money to be made!

Orly Taitz, president of her Defend Our Freedoms Foundation is offering a $1,000 reward for the best short documentary on the theme: “Where are the original IDs: Why judges refuse to order production of the original Obama’s IDs, when the copies were found to be forgeries???” [link to Taitz web site].

Given that DOFF has blown off two letters from the State of California to complete its registration, I have my doubts that any money bill be paid for any video by this group. I’m sure the Obots could make a great documentary explaining to Taitz and the birthers the answer to her question.

image

What shall we do with a crazy birther?

Today is September 19, International Talk Like a Pirate Day1, arrrrrr. And so mateys, in recognition of that day I introduce a nautical-themed contest, to come up with the best one-line answer to the question:

What shall we do with a crazy birther,
What shall we do with a crazy birther,
What shall we do with a crazy birther,
Early in the mornin’?

The tune is from the song “What shall we do with a drunken sailor” as heard in the video below. The Wikipedia article has many answers to the drunken sailor question. What’s your solution for a crazy birther? My entry is:

Strap him in a chair at Orly’s office.

Arrrrrr.

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