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Pleasing the birthers

by Dr. Conspiracy on 30. Aug, 2010 in Birth Certificate, Wild & Wacky

A somewhat testy Barack Obama appeared in an interview with NBC News anchor Brian Williams, saying that he has more important things to do than humor the birthers. However, looking at the footage of Obama during the interview (see photo on right), it was not entirely clear that he had not made concessions to them.

Obama said:

“I can’t spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead,” quipped Obama, who took a deep breath to gather his thoughts when asked if the poll reflected his inability to communicate with voters.

“The facts are the facts. We went through some of this during the campaign — there is a mechanism, a network of misinformation that in a new media era can get churned out there constantly,” said a visibly annoyed Obama, referring to “birthers,” who have waged a guerrilla campaign questioning either the existence or the validity of his Hawaiian birth certificate.

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Republicans prove Obama American born (updated)

by Dr. Conspiracy on 27. Aug, 2010 in Wild & Wacky

We’ve talked about polls saying 27% of Republicans think Barack Obama was not born in the United States. What can we infer from that? Let’s assume that this significant following of the idea is some measure of its truthfulness, so on a scale of 0 t0 100 (in a Republican world), the truth of the claim Obama was born in Africa is “27″.

About half of Republicans surveyed, almost twice as many as believe Obama wasn’t born in the US, also believe that the Troubled Assets Relief Program (TARP) was enacted under the Obama administration, not Bush. This is, of course, historically false.

So, logically, we may assume that the probability of Obama being born in Africa is less than the TARP being enacted under his administration. Calibrating our 0-100 Republican belief scale in to real probabilities, we see that the probability of Obama being born outside the United States is actually zero.

[Note for the humor impaired: I don't really believe that this is a rigorous mathematical argument.]

Update: (more…)

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Proof of Obama’s guilt

by Dr. Conspiracy on 19. Aug, 2010 in Orly Taitz, Wild & Wacky

Utterer

In her most recent missive to the Supreme Court, erstwhile attorney Orly Taitz detailed a list of charges against the President including:

  • Fraud
  • Forgery of passport records
  • Uttering
  • Obstruction of Justice

At first I thought Orly had  made a mistake, but the charges were repeated several times, so I felt that I should send out the Obama Conspiracy Theories detective team to investigate. They have returned with proof of the President’s guilt on the third count, “uttering.”

Exhibit 1 is from the New York Times from May 27, 2010:

President Obama uttered three words on Thursday that many of his 43 predecessors twisted themselves into knots trying with varying degrees of success to avoid: “I was wrong.”

Not only is this proof that President Obama is guilty of uttering, he is also guilty of the unpardonable political sin of being wrong!

Exhibit 2 comes from Politico.com from August 21, 2009 where appears:

Just as soon as President Barack Obama uttered the words Thursday afternoon, the reaction was nearly universal.

And what were those shocking words that set Washington on edge. Obama said “wee-weed” and opened himself to charges of public obscenity. We even have it on camera!

Exhibit 3. Our final shocking piece of evidence comes from The Smoking Chimp (where those of you who don’t like George Bush might want to spend some time) which reports in a headline:

The election is over. Obama uttered the word “hell.”

Not only is Obama now proven to have uttered, not once, but three times, but he is also guilty of obscene language.

Orly Taitz may have a case after all!

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Constitutional amendment to remove Obama

by Dr. Conspiracy on 30. Jul, 2010 in Birther Politics, Wild & Wacky

I wrote in a previous article about Constitutional Fundamentalism, featuring a mock up of the Constitution packaged to look like the Holy Bible, totally unaware that I could have saved the effort and used the real thing:

Pocket Constitution

That edition probably doesn’t have the original Thirteenth Amendment, not ratified by the requisite number of states, at least according to everyone except a group of conspiracy theorists called “Thirteenthers” who believe it was. This group succeeded into inserting a plank into the Iowa Republican Platform calling for the “reintroduction and ratification of the original 13th amendment” of the Constitution, according to an article in the Huffington Post yesterday (July 29, 2010).

How does this affect President Obama? The amendment, according to some views, would make Obama not only ineligible to be president but also no longer a citizen because he accepted a Nobel Prize, contrary to the words of the amendment:

If any citizen of the United States shall accept, claim, receive or retain any title of nobility or honour, or shall, without the consent of Congress accept and retain any present, pension, office or emolument of any kind whatever, from any emperor, king, prince or foreign power, such person shall cease to be a citizen of the United States and shall be incapable of holding any office of trust or profit under them, or either of them.

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George Bush’s secret birthplace

by Dr. Conspiracy on 24. Jul, 2010 in Wild & Wacky

Obama Conspiracy Theories conducted an informal poll a few weeks back, asking randomly selected people from my workplace where President George W. Bush was born. Most believed he was born in Texas, and over 80% got the answer wrong. Why is that?

It turns out that George W. Bush hushed up his real birthplace, as exposed in a 2002 article, Signs Say What Bush Won’t, in the New York Times. Oh my!

Says the Times:

Mr. Bush’s official White House biography, which can be found on the Web at whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio, contains many facts about the president, among them the names of his pets, India, Spot and Barney. But in dealing with a rather basic fact, his birth, it leaves out that he was born in New Haven [Connecticut]. All it says is: ”President Bush was born July 6, 1946 and grew up in Midland and Houston, Texas.”

Bush’s dirty little secret: he’s a damn Yankee!

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Doctor C makes the cover of TIMES magazine

by Dr. Conspiracy on 27. May, 2010 in Wild & Wacky

I hinted at this previously. I am on the cover of TIMES magazine. It’s been an incredible ride!

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Did WND sign crash stock market?

by Dr. Conspiracy on 07. May, 2010 in Wild & Wacky, WorldNetDaily

What was behind the incredible plunge in the New York stock indexes Thursday? Could it be this press release signage in New York? Or was the fact that this book is #8 in rank at Amazon.com enough to trigger fears of the imminent collapse of America from utter stupidity? Stranger things have happened.

Scene from Times Square

By the way, I may shortly appear on the cover of Time Times Magazine. Stranger things have happened.

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