George Soros

The quest starts with liberal billionaire George Soros. As we know, Soros had some contact with the Nazis during WW II. The Nazi eugenics project to provide a super race continued in secret after the war in Argentina. Soros was determined to perpetuate his own genes but in an improved form through a part clone, part engineered child. Soros provided funding for the Nazi doctors to create the genetically altered super child, who had an African mother and Soros as the father.

To set up a false trail, Soros bribed officials at the Queens Hospital in Hawaii to submit a fake birth certificate, using Lebanese spy Ann Dunham, and Marxist Barack Obama as stand-in parents. This of course explains the secret CIA DNA results that Barack Obama II is not genetically related to his grandparents. The story that Obama was born at two different hospitals was to divert suspicion from any one hospital. Sarah Obama was also coerced under threat of death to make the infamous tape saying Obama was born in Kenya, to obscure the fact that he was actually not born in the usual sense at all, and that his coming to term actually happened in a laboratory in Argentina.

Yes, we can!

The super child hypothesis explains Obama’s championship basketball skills, as well as his charismatic, hypnotic control over people. What else can explain an unqualified black man being elected president over a genuine American hero?

Soros has been behind Obama’s incredible flight to fame, and will be the power behind the throne once his “son” takes office.

Other fraud scenarios exist, but this one seems to this writer the most plausible.

Because of the threats of blood in the streets, mutinies in the armed forces, and a continuing of stream of lawsuits against every act of government until the certificate is produced, an action that would cripple the Government in this critical time of economic crisis, the President-Elect has taken this unprecedented action to end the controversy once and for all. 10,000 certified copies of the document have been ordered from the Hawaii Department of Health, allowing easy viewing by each of the one million persons expected to addend the unveiling.

In a prepared statement President-Elect Barack Obama said:

Barack Obama appears with long-form birth certificate

My Fellow Americans, I want to take this opportunity to explain some of my actions, which may have seemed odd to my supporters, and suspicious to my critics, regarding the release of my Hawaiian Certificate of Live Birth. Only recently, I obtained a certified copy of the “vault record” from Hawaii and learned something that I did not know before, and that my mother never told me. I do not know the reasons for my mother’s silence.

The revelation that I am about to make now, I am assured by my attorney and advisers, has no bearing whatever on my qualifications to be President of the United States: I was indeed born in Honolulu Hawaii, I am at least 35 years old and I have lived as a resident of the United States for 14 years. The birth certificate which my staff provided to the Daily Kos web site is authentic, but contains corrections later added. According to my original birth certificate, my first name is “Alan” and I was born in 1963.

Jumbotron

Impact Video will be providing 100 truck mounted “Jumbotron” screens to make it easier for the anticipated one million member crowd to get a closer view of the document. An unnamed Impact Video spokesman said that the company was pleased to get an order right now. “This made our year” he said.

Long time Democratic backer George Soros donated the $40,006 in request fees to procure the documents from Hawaii. Hawaii Department of Health Director Dr. Chiyome Fukino said that that the department was very grateful for the windfall in fees in a tight budget year. “We’re going to use the revenue to buy a much-needed second laser printer and a new rubber stamp for Dr. Onaka.” She also expressed pleasure that her office would be able to get back to their real job instead of answering crank phone calls from birth certificate doubters. “And in any case, ” she concluded, “us folks with funny names have to stick together.”

Hawaii Vital Statistics Director, Dr. Alvin Onaka is reported to be hospitalized for treatment of a stress-related repetitive motion injury received while signing the 10,000 certificates by hand. The Kapi’Olani Medical Center refused comment regarding Onaka’s condition citing federal privacy laws.

Philadelphia attorney, Philip J. Berg, who is suing Obama over a range of eligibility issues and who had previously stated that he would drop his suit if Obama  provided proof of his natural born citizenship, stated that he would not be attending the certificate ceremony because “I’m making too much money on ObamaCrimes.com to drop the suit. So long as I don’t see the certificate, I can keep my word.”

Internet Powerhouse Andy Martin has filed suit in the Superior Court of Washington DC to halt the event. In his brief, Martin stated that it was his intention to write articles about why Obama should release the certificate. The move by Obama to release the document was against the “direct and tangible interests” of Martin to continue in his occupation as critic of Obama’s documentation. When contacted by reporters, Martin angrily quipped, “he’s still a Muslim.”

Leo C. Donofrio, on Plains Radio, told his supporters that the problems they may have had accessing his Natural Born Citizen web site were not due to any conspiracy, but that a chain email, mentioning his site as the place to get tickes for the certificate ceremony, resulted so many hits on his web site that the server was overwhelmed. Donofrio stated that “wordpress.com is working to move Natural Born Citizen to a new and larger server”.