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Dr. Conspiracy’s guide to hard drive recycling

Because of interest in a recent story about an unrecoverable hard drive used by Lois Lerner of the IRS, I took a few minutes to explain why a recycled drive might not readable. Here is

Dr. Conspiracy’s guide to hard drive recycling

If you are a government agency with surplus computer equipment, it is important that sensitive data not fall into the wrong hands such as a Republican-led Congressional committee, or a right-wing talk show host, when that equipment is taken out of service. This handy tutorial shows how to erase information from a hard drive before recycling.

Specifications for hard drives include limits on the amount of shock the drive can absorb without damage. Since the goal of the procedure is to prevent the drive from performing, shock is a good first step in making the drive unreadable. As a professional government employee, it is important to dress professionally when carrying the procedures in this tutorial. The following illustration shows one measured way to apply shock to the drive:

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After the procedure the drive should look similar to this:

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A second limiting factor in a hard drive’s ability to function properly and retain its data is temperature. Here you will want to review the “storage temperature” on the drive and apply heat in excess of the published limit. Be sure to wear safety glasses when carrying out this procedure:

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Here is the hard drive following application of the elevated temperature procedure:

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Most drives have a warning against opening the drive, as this can introduce dust and other foreign matter that can render the drive unreadable. The following illustration shows one method for opening the hard drive. First select an appropriate tool such as this:

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Insure that you have a clear area around you when opening the drive:

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The following detail photo shows the proper placement of the tool on the drive:

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The following illustrates how the hard drive should look after completing of the procedure. Note that the procedure should be repeated until the drive is clearly open.

IMAG0012_croppedAfter concluding the simple three steps above, you can be assured that data will not be read from the hard drive by the wrong people.

Obama threatens: Hawaii, keep quiet!

The death of Hawaii Health Director Loretta Fuddy precipitated by a plane crash was ruled an accident. Birthers say it was murder, ordered by Obama to keep her quiet about the President’s birth certificate (or lack thereof). But accidents do happen and sudden cardiac death is a common cause of death.

Aerial view of the HAARP site, looking towards Mount Sanford, AlaskaYou may recall that birthers have said that the reason that the State of Hawaii has been 100% consistent in support for the story that the President was born in the state is because of secret threats to state officials to drown the islands in a tsunami triggered by a government research project called the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP), blamed by conspiracy theorists for everything from the destruction of the space shuttle Columbia, to floods and droughts, to chronic fatigue syndrome. Now does anybody believe that 6 inches of snow and 50 mph winds in Hawaii are just an accident? Obviously Obama is reminding the people of Hawaii of what will happen to them if they tell the truth about his birth certificate.

photo of snow in parking log

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled critical thinking.

Zombie epidemic

Despite recent denials of zombie attacks from the Centers for Disease Control (the FBI used to say there was no organized crime), there continue to be sightings. We here at the Obama Conspiracy Theories blog have been lulled into a sense of complacency by Mario Apuzzo who has been posting extensively in comments here; unbeknownst to us it was only a distraction while he created a zombie of his Purpura v. Obama lawsuit. The undead case has been seen and documented at the New Jersey Supreme Court1. It is well known that just about the only effective means of destroying a zombie is massive trauma to the head, preferably by a strike from a large wooden mallet.

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Indeed, another brain-consuming zombie brief has appeared at the Supreme Court of the United States no less. Birther Zombie queen Orly Taitz filed an appeal of the Georgia ballot challenge,  Farrar v. Obama. Zombies have been identified by their decaying physical bodies, and this is clearly evident in the Farrar brief, for example on page 43 where some of the text has deteriorated to the point that it is barely recognizable.

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1I’ve been reading the appeal and am researching it for a possible serious article.