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The Doc’s skyrocketing legal career

It’s hardly been a month since I was awarded the De Facto Juris Doctor Pro Hac Vice degree from The Fogbow School of Birther Law, for which I am duly honored (thanks guys). That was cool, but now my Birther Law career has taken a sudden and unexpected upturn.

I received a letter today from the Cornell University Law School acknowledging the help that I provided them this year as I pursued the dark reaches of Birther Law. They sent me a gavel in token of their thanks. Am I a Birther Law judge now? I must be because, in the words of Descartes, “I think, therefore I am.”


This is a very special gavel, created specifically situations like judging birther cases. It is made of rubber and is called a “stress gavel,” perfect for releasing the stress from dealing with these crazy people. I will cherish it, along with my degree, my Obama Ukulele bobble-head doll and the framed email on the wall from [mumble].