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Obot Wars Episode VII: A New Hope

ObotWarsDespite the terror inspired by Emperor Zullo and Darth Gallups1, the Universe-shattering prime weapon of the birther Death Star was not finished on schedule. (In the movie the Emperor and Darth Vader had minions to do their work, but the Cold Case Posse is just the one guy.)  Sheriff Jabba has also been engaged in his own administrative problems over the licensing of some of his land speeders. Boba Volin has gotten nothing but yawns from Congress with his Imperial Toy Sheriff’s Kit™.

I invoke a science fantasy movie image because someone must truly be willing to believe in fantasy to continue to support Zullo as the “March reveal” becomes the midterm election reveal, another in a long line of excuses for doing nothing.

I suppose some might find the latest delay from Zullo as absurd and laughable, like the “Rocky 5,000” sequel gag in Spaceballs. I find his lack of creativity pathetic. I mean, can someone explain to me how some alleged investigation into something unrelated prevents release of the alleged evidence on the birth certificate issue from being presented? Maybe they can’t believe what they are finding.

Only the hardcore birther fans are looking forward to the next publicity event for the movie that’s never coming out.

1After some consideration, I think perhaps the better alignment of dark-side characters is Emperor Corsi and Darth Zullo with some more pawn-like character for Gallups.

Surrounded by birthers


The allusion to the movie Spaceballs aside, a new study from Fairleigh Dickinson University found birther beliefs in surprising numbers, especially among Republicans.

The most popular of these conspiracy theories is the belief that President Obama is hiding important information about his background and early life, which would include what’s often referred to “birtherism.” Thirty-six percent of Americans think this is probably true, including 64 percent of Republicans and 14 percent of Democrats.

Sixty-three percent of registered voters in the U.S. buy into at least one political conspiracy theory

It’s not just birthers in the study. They also added in 9/11 conspiracies, and beliefs that the 2004 and 2012 elections were stolen.

The study also asked 4 “current events” questions. There was a very strong negative correlation between the number of questions answered correctly and belief in birtherism. The survey was taken December 10-16, 2012, and involved 814 registered voters. The sampling error was 3.4%.

It is disheartening, to say the least, that so many of my fellow countrymen buy into conspiracy theories, particularly the wildly implausible ones of birtherism and 9/11. Maybe we can blame it on the Internet. Romney complained about the 47% that he believed were takers. I worry about the 63% who are the intellectual takers, lying on a minority to keep the world sane.