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No irony meter shortage

IronyMeter3Despite speculation in comments on this blog about a shortage of irony meters due a  recent rash of explosions in the wake of various birther comments using words like “truth,” “logic,” “patriotism,” “facts,” “evidence” and “regard for the US Constitution,” there is no shortage.

Obot planning, starting in early 2009, foresaw the need for extensive new manufacturing capacity and thanks to funding by George Soros and a groundbreaking agreement with the government of China, two massive irony meter manufacturing facilities where completed in Guangdong Province, and began shipments  in February of this year.

The factories are equipped with special irony-proof shielding to prevent explosions during the manufacturing process. Also the new T-2A model is configured in a special two-part mechanism that does not react to irony until an electrical connection between the two modules is made, preventing explosion of meters in storage, a persistent problem in older models.



We believe that there will be sufficient quantities of irony meters to carry us through the 2012 presidential election (which is always needs extra meters). All bets are off, however, should Barack Obama win the 2012 election. The irony will be overwhelming.

IronyMeterExplodeAs as always, we recommend that irony meters not be installed near populated areas due to danger to civilians nearby. Also remember that irony meter installations must be registered with the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Learn more:


15 Responses to No irony meter shortage

  1. avatar
    milspec July 17, 2011 at 6:22 pm #

    Oh Dr. just love it.!

  2. avatar
    G July 17, 2011 at 6:24 pm #


  3. avatar
    Dr Kenneth Noisewater (Bob Ross) July 17, 2011 at 6:31 pm #


  4. avatar
    Suranis July 17, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    In addition, American farmers would like to thank the birthers for keeping the market for raw bullshit at good levels between the elections. Their patriotic concern for american farmers has not gone unnoticed. THANKS YOU GOOD SIRS! *salute*

  5. avatar
    misha July 17, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

    My wife is a native Mandarin speaker. She can contact the factories directly. I can get them wholesale.

    Such a deal!

  6. avatar
    Sef July 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

    And if this isn’t enough, we can always mine the Pacific gyre.

  7. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 17, 2011 at 10:35 pm #

    BTW, those factory scenes are from the documentary film “Manufactured Landscapes” that I would recommend to those who are interested in better understanding the scale of human impact on the landscape.

  8. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 17, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    The main article has been updated to include “Learn more” resources.

  9. avatar
    richCares July 17, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    You do understand that WND and Birthers do not get satire, so beware of lawsuits!

  10. avatar
    Paul July 17, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    All I can say is, thank GAWD for good ol’ fashioned liberal FORESIGHT!!!

  11. avatar
    katahdin July 18, 2011 at 12:05 am #

    The real question is: why can’t all these irony meters be manufactured here in the good ole US of A?
    If the claim is that Americans are incapable of understanding irony, that concern could be met by locating the factories in NYC or the San Fransisco Bay area.

  12. avatar
    J. Potter July 18, 2011 at 12:37 am #

    Due to environmental concerns, it would be near impossible to correctly calibrate production runs here in middle America. It’d be like manufacturing compasses in the Bermuda Triangle.

    (thanks for the article, Doc, needed a laugh!)

    katahdin: No irony meter shortage

  13. avatar
    Keith July 18, 2011 at 1:41 am #

    I call BS.

    I have it on good authority that China can’t make these things cheap enough to supply a Presidential campaign cycle. Not only do they keep exploding unpredictably on the test bench, but on the assembly lines they can’t get enough workers in the one room to keep their blindfolds on long enough.

    The Australian CSIRO* has been working with scientists at Beck University to help the Chinese factories to solve this problem, but they are still years away from solving the ‘Socratic’ v ‘Concern Troll’ paradox.

    You should be very wary of Chinese irony meters that don’t meet the standards set by the Breitbart International Council of Texting Homilies. The blowback from an improperly aligned Irony Meter could cause extreme discomfort in the tips of burned fingers and difficulty in blowing an out of joint nose.

    *Commonwealth Science and Industry Research Organization

  14. avatar
    Paper July 18, 2011 at 10:04 am #

    We’re the Unified Birther Obot Inquisition. We don’t need no stinkin’ meters!

  15. avatar
    Paul July 18, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    This may not be totally on-topic but… I’m reading Oily Taint’s blog every day now, and it just freakin’ AMAZES me! HOW has she managed to avoid being disbarred?! I mean seriously, the deluge of pure pointless CRAP that she files, over and over and OVER! At what point does someone say “Ok, that’s IT! WE’RE TURNING THIS CAR AROUND AND TAKING YOU HOME!”