Sometimes you have to think outside the box
Birthers have said that Barack Obama uses the social-security number of a deceased Connecticut resident born in 1890. That’s really not a workable theory. The Social Security Death Index lists the SSNs of all deceased persons1 and the Obama number isn’t there.
How about a living person instead of a dead person? That creates problems too because a living person would notice unexplained income reported on his social-security account. No, we need someone who is neither deceased, nor likely to notice something strange going on with his account.
The obvious answer is a space alien from Connecticut. As we all know, space aliens live among us. Particularly in the 1970’s when Obama’s number was issued, space aliens were here in large numbers. Remember “The Age of Aquarius?” In order to study us, aliens had to work alongside us and for that they needed social-security numbers. While aliens could, with their advanced technology, forge any identity document they wanted, the social-security number is cross checked with government records and so a real number was needed.
The 1890 birth date, of course, makes perfect sense because space aliens traveling across the galaxy at near the speed of light age much more slowly that we Earthlings, and so the alien really was born in 1890, but appeared to be just a teenager. Finally, the space alien departed and never noticed the unusual social-security-reported income activity from Barack Obama’s part-time job at Baskin Robbins in Honolulu.
The only real alternatives are that the government mistakenly gave Obama a Connecticut SSN, or that Obama is a space alien himself — and we know that the government never makes a mistake.
- News reports of Obama-alien alliance
- News reports that Obama is an alien
1This article is presented for its humor value. It is not a rigorous exploration of the topic. To be technically accurate, not all deaths are reported in the Social Security Death Index. Death’s before the index was computerized in the 1960’s, for example, are not included. Later deaths where no social security death benefit was paid may not be in the index.
One should never rely very much on what you see in an article labeled “Wild and Wacky.”