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Bearding the Apuzzo

"The Mouth of Truth" sculptureIf you go back through all the articles on this blog, you will see a quite a few under the category of Mario Apuzzo, 45 of them at last count. Generally my writing doesn’t treat Mr. Apuzzo very kindly: some articles are critical, some are insulting and some downright taunting. While I try to be accurate in my criticism, I needn’t bother out of fear that he will show up and call me on it. He’s not going to undertake any substantive argument here because if he did, he would be exposed as a hack by me and other commenters, some of whom are attorneys, apparently much better ones than he is.

The last time Apuzzo showed up here in comments (798 comments here between February of 2009 and December of 2010) he lost badly and lost his temper too. Birther attorneys only look good in closed friendly environments where they control the context and the discussion. Birther attorneys have to show up in one neutral battleground eventually, the courts, and there they invariably lose. Still, Birthers in the main don’t read court rulings, allowing the Birther attorneys to explain “what really happened” and why “the court was wrong” and still control the context and dismiss the loss.

On the other hand, Apuzzo has said some unkind things about me on his blog. I went over there once and tried to argue a point. I made what I considered a winning comment, but it never saw the light of day.

If Apuzzo ever showed up again here, I’m pretty sure that he will be maligned and insulted – but he won’t be muzzled and he won’t win the argument.


If it’s not obvious from recent articles, I’m pretty hacked off by arrogant claims of winning on birther blogs that censor opposing comments. The practice disgusts me.

The picture above is an Italian landmark, La Bocca della Verità (the “Mouth of Truth” in English). Apuzzo uses the image of this landmark on his blog for some reason which I have been unable to figure out.

This blog’s tag line, Fishing for gold coins in a bucket of mud, comes from a motion to dismiss in Kerchner v Obama, by  Acting United States Attorney Ralph J. Marra, Jr. Marra, referring to Apuzzo’s Second Amended Complaint in Kerchner, said:

“Rule 8(a) requires parties to make their pleadings straightforward, so that judges and adverse parties need not try to fish a gold coin from a bucket of mud.” United States ex rel. Garst v. Lockheed-Martin Corp., 328 F.3d 374, 378 (7th Cir. 2003), quoted in Parker v. Learn The Skills Corp., No. 03-6936, 2004 WL 2384993, *1 (E.D. Pa. Oct. 25, 2004) (dismissing complaint without prejudice because it was lengthy in its factual allegations of wrongful conduct and lacked clarity).

In this case, Plaintiffs’ second amended complaint utterly fails to conform to the notice pleading requirements of Rule 8(a). The second amended complaint is 87 pages long, consisting of 387 paragraphs of allegations, a 30-paragraph prayer for relief, and 43 single-spaced endnotes, some of which are quite lengthy. See Dkt. Entry 3. Plaintiffs plead a host of needless detail, the relevancy of which is not clear, and to which Defendants cannot respond because it is drawn from various internet webpages and sundry outside sources.

Kerchner v. Obama was dismissed, albeit for other defects.

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29 Responses to Bearding the Apuzzo

  1. avatar
    Norbrook February 13, 2012 at 8:50 pm #

    One of the more entertaining moments I’ve had watching birthers was when Apuzzo showed up on a military law blog during the Lakin trial. Since the regulars there were all lawyers, what happened to him was … hysterically funny to anyone not named Apuzzo.

  2. avatar
    Zachary Bravos February 13, 2012 at 9:29 pm #

    I have been banned from WND for quite awhile and just because I called Jerome “Buy My Book!” Corsi and huckster – which he is.

  3. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter February 13, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

    Hi Dr C!!! You might enjoy the picture that I put on this particular post:

    http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/la-bocca-della-falsita-the-mouth-of-falsehoods/

    Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  4. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy February 13, 2012 at 10:17 pm #

    Are we channeling each other?

    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter: Hi Dr C!!! You might enjoy the picture that I put on this particular post:

  5. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter February 13, 2012 at 10:24 pm #

    DrC:

    I don’t know. Are you thinking about “lemmings” or “lumberjacks” right now???

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    OH PLUS, I just did a science thingy you might like about The Rictus Scale of Birther Lawsuits. I put a linky thingy on the Donofrio thread.

  6. avatar
    John Potter February 13, 2012 at 10:48 pm #

    All blogs are improved by images of Audrey. Great article, Squeeky!

  7. avatar
    Arthur February 13, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    “The picture above is an Italian landmark, La Bocca della Verit (the “Mouth of Truth” in English). Apuzzo uses the image of this landmark on his blog for some reason which I have been unable to figure out.”

    A more appropriate image for Mario would be a photograph of Del Bocca Vista.

  8. avatar
    Saipan Annie February 14, 2012 at 9:44 am #

    Dr. C., I am surprised to see you write an entire post to ridicule Mr. Apuzzo. He does not ever write an entire post to ridicule you. If you do not agree on matters that is fine. However, it is bad behavior to write posts like this. I do not mean to hurt your feelings by saying what I say.

  9. avatar
    Reality Check February 14, 2012 at 9:50 am #

    Wouldn’t the “Rectal Scale” be more appropriate for Birther lawsuits?

    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter: OH PLUS, I just did a science thingy you might like about The Rictus Scale of Birther Lawsuits. I put a linky thingy on the Donofrio thread.

  10. avatar
    G February 14, 2012 at 10:00 am #

    It is not a simple matter of agreeing or disagreeing. Mr. Apuzzo is simply easy to ridicule, because he pushes crank notions that are bunk and have no support in how the law actually works and is applied in the real world. For the same reason that Holocaust Deniers and Intelligent Design proponents don’t need to be taken seriously either.

    Those who don’t want to be ridiculed shouldn’t act ridiculous. Simple as that. The only one who’s feelings are likely hurt here is thin-skinned Mario and his Cult syncophants, like you.

    …And yes, I can call him thin-skinned from direct experience. He used to post here all the time back in the day. I and others had numerous back and forth dialogue with him. Mario quite often devolved into throwing child-like temper tantrums. He seemed to have quite a number of “bad day” episodes, in which he really lost it…

    Saipan Annie: Dr. C., I am surprised to see you write an entire post to ridicule Mr. Apuzzo. He does not ever write an entire post to ridicule you. If you do not agree on matters that is fine. However, it is bad behavior to write posts like this. I do not mean to hurt your feelings by saying what I say.

  11. avatar
    bovril February 14, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    H’mmm would that make Mario, Orly’s “beard” I wonder….

  12. avatar
    Majority Will February 14, 2012 at 10:31 am #

    Saipan Annie: bad behavior

    Do you wear a flea collar?

    It’s also bad behavior for a troll like yourself to insult your host like a true hypocrite as well as post asinine and despicable lies and then run away and hide like a coward when called out for the stupidity you’ve posted here. And oh yes, I do not mean to hurt your feelings by saying what I say.

  13. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy February 14, 2012 at 11:40 am #

    I would object to your comment on two grounds.

    First, Mario Apuzzo did dedicate an entire article to ridicule me, even including a cartoon of me as the “Obot Czar.” (I like the cartoon, and have used it myself. I should point out, too, that the picture Apuzzo uses of himself on his blog was lifted from here.)

    http://puzo1.blogspot.com/2010/06/obamas-long-form-birth-certificate.html

    Second, I object to your description of this article as “to ridicule Mr. Apuzzo.” I have other articles specifically for that purpose. This one is for another purpose, to highlight the fact that birthers attorneys won’t debate on fair terms. Apuzzo is just an example of someone I pick on FOR THE PURPOSE OF HIGHLIGHTING THIS REFUSAL.

    I will make Mr. Apuzzo an offer. I will publish any article (of reasonable length) he will write for this blog as a guest author, and I will allow unrestricted comment on it for two weeks. The only restriction would be publishing personal information about private individuals, something not allowed by policy here and that the article be relevant to a conclusion that Barack Obama should not be eligible as President of the United States.

    Saipan Annie: Dr. C., I am surprised to see you write an entire post to ridicule Mr. Apuzzo. He does not ever write an entire post to ridicule you. If you do not agree on matters that is fine. However, it is bad behavior to write posts like this. I do not mean to hurt your feelings by saying what I say.

  14. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm February 14, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    DrC: YOU said: “If it’s not obvious from recent articles, I’m pretty hacked off by arrogant claims of winning on birther blogs that censor opposing comments. The practice disgusts me. ”

    Maybe this is like what they do in cults. where they isolate people from their families and outside influences sooo that they can just brainwash the heck out of them.

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  15. avatar
    JPotter February 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm #

    Squeeky Fromm: Maybe this is like what they do in cults.

    Not quite, those blogs can’t literally isolate their readers. But they can (and do) prevent dissonant information from appearing at the source of their information. Allows them to appear unchallenged. Prevents potential converts from being innoculated by the truth.
    It’s a very sinister form of spin and image control.

  16. avatar
    bovril February 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    I believe I made the case that Birfoonism is both a “virtual cult” as well as showing many of the characteristics of a disease….. 8-)

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2012/01/what-is-the-birther-movement/#comment-149269

    The problem (one of many) with labelling and categorizing the peristaltic motion of Birferism is that it has many of the characteristics of a virus, a parasite and a cancer cell.

    In addition to the “virtual cult” that G, Slarti and I have posited previously it also

    Spreads via infection through a susceptible population.

    The Internet being the transmission vector, the lamentable education system being the root cause of susceptibility to idiotic memes, the media such as Fox being the underpinning infection weakening the host allowing opportunistic Birfoon viral infection

    Compromises the intellectual immune system

    A strong immune response through critical thinking, analysis, ability to compare and contrast and openness to fresh and clean information has been critically compromised. This allows the infection to spread and embed itself in carriers, such as the Orly Screech Owl as well as fatally infect and destroy the weak minded such as the Lakin Prison Bird.

    Hijacks a hosts immune system

    The infective meme embeds itself in existing structures such as racism, right wing politics, entitlement, fear and loathing and attempts to mask its underlying symptoms in high sounding morality whilst actually demonstrating and amplifying the pathologies

    Mutates in response to environmental adversity

    The Birfoon infection, when a host population starts to attempt to fight the spread of infection via isolation of the infected and destruction of its raw genetic material mutates in order to survive. The early infections labelled, Kenyan Fever, Mobassa Flu and Mooslem Rash have mostly died out having been replaced by new mutated forms including Commie Cramps, Alinsky Ache and the latest and most virulent, Vattels Failed Syndrome. Ocassionally fresh, isolated and immune suppressed groups migrate to the plains where the old weaker infections will spring up, they are usually destroyed in a short period of times.

    Masquerading as a legitimate part of the organism, auto-immune suppresion

    A frequent response by the infection, to ensure its survival to propagate further, is to attempt to trick the host body by cloaking its disease through masking. The infection will attempt to cloak itself in otherwise benign system cells such as Patriotism, Concern, Just Asking and Fiscal Rectitude. Unfortunately the infection tends to cause these cells to lose their natural governing mechanism and the cellular apoptosis fails to kick in. This leads to a massive and unchecked explosion of unmanaged cellular reproduction. This cancer will continue to spread and will lead to the host being choked in its own waste as well as leading to catastrophic failure in vital organs. See Governance Failure Syndrome, Congressional Cancer, Bi-Partisan Decay.

    Parasitic modification of neural responses

    In the same manner that certain infection and diseases modify a hosts natural habits and responses (See rabies and hydrophobia et-al) the Birfoon Infection exhibits some or more of this selection of symptoms.

    Isolation from healthy individuals
    Aggression and paranoia
    Inability to form coherent responses around the meme
    Selective mutism and autism
    Incoherence
    Natural attraction to the similar infected
    Flocking and pack behaviour
    Self mutilation
    Coprophilia and Coprophagia
    Insensate destruction of an individuals personal resources and habitat
    Repetitive unconstructive behaviour

    A central symptom appears to be

    Magpie Syndrome-

    An irrational affinity for shiny objects. When a highly shiny object is seen by the sufferer it often may induce a compulsive need to claim it and several minutes of staring at said object. This will later end in the sufferer pocketing the object to add to his/ her collection by a sunny windowsill at home. If a shiny object is outside of a sufferers grasp it will usually result in a strong, though usually short-live obsession over it.

    In my next paper we will discuss the palliative, disinfective and other treament methods…. 8-)

  17. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy February 14, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    I wish something would happen with the Superior Court in Fulton County. I get really bored with this repetitions certificate junk, and when I get bored I start hitting my Mario Apuzzo piñata and posting fake headlines.

  18. avatar
    G February 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

    Kudos for bringing that topic & analogy back up. Well done! Can’t wait for part 2.

    bovril: I believe I made the case that Birfoonism is both a “virtual cult” as well as showing many of the characteristics of a disease…..

    bovril: The problem (one of many) with labelling and categorizing the peristaltic motion of Birferism is that it has many of the characteristics of a virus, a parasite and a cancer cell.

    bovril: In my next paper we will discuss the palliative, disinfective and other treament methods….

  19. avatar
    JPotter February 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: I wish something would happen with the Superior Court in Fulton County. I get really bored with this repetitions certificate junk, and when I get bored I start hitting my Mario Apuzzo piñata and posting fake headlines.

    I too, wish Judge Wright would stop sitting on her decision in Georgia Superior Court and deny the appeal already. Let’s get on to the next state! Obama is eligible for the Georgia Primary ballot. I assume she is passing time, alowing the slower birthers to file appeals, so she can clear the deck in one fell swoop.

  20. avatar
    Rickey February 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm #

    Norbrook:
    One of the more entertaining moments I’ve had watching birthers was when Apuzzo showed up on a military law blog during the Lakin trial.Since the regulars there were all lawyers, what happened to him was … hysterically funny to anyone not named Apuzzo.

    I recall that Mario was insulted when Dwight Sullivan informed him, before the orders for the week had been released, that his petition for cert in the Kerchner case had been denied. Dwight then explained to Mario how SCOTUS works – there was no response from the respondents and none of the justices called for a response, which meant that the petition was denied. Mario could not accept the truth.

  21. avatar
    G February 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    Other than Farrar’s attempt via Orly, who still has a looming question of being allowed to represent him in GA…

    …I haven’t seen any confirmation of the other two cases filing their appeals yet at all.
    Promises yes, but no confirmation that anything has actually been submitted.

    JPotter: I too, wish Judge Wright would stop sitting on her decision in Georgia Superior Court and deny the appeal already. Let’s get on to the next state! Obama is eligible for the Georgia Primary ballot. I assume she is passing time, alowing the slower birthers to file appeals, so she can clear the deck in one fell swoop.

  22. avatar
    Rickey February 14, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    Saipan Annie:
    Dr. C., I am surprised to see you write an entire post to ridicule Mr. Apuzzo. He does not ever write an entire post to ridicule you. If you do not agree on matters that is fine. However, it is bad behavior to write posts like this. I do not mean to hurt your feelings by saying what I say.

    Mario deserves all of the contempt which has been heaped upon him. He claimed that there was a ban on travel to Pakistan by Americans in 1981. When confronted with incontrovertible proof that there never has been a ban on travel to Pakistan, he refused to admit that he was wrong.

    When you refuse to admit a mistake, you now have made two.

  23. avatar
    bovril February 14, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

    G, still working on it, maybe Squeekers will beat me to it… 8-)

  24. avatar
    donna February 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

    are apuzzo and donofrio “natural born”?

    according to birtherstan (IL)logic, neither santorum nor i are “natural born”

    Note that if the Italian parent naturalized as a citizen of another country independently, and prior to reaching legal Italian adulthood (age 21 prior to March 10, 1975, and age 18 otherwise), then often that parent retained Italian citizenship and could still pass citizenship on to children.

    Also, a single, qualifying Italian parent (father only before January 1, 1948) is sufficient to pass on citizenship, even if the other Italian parent naturalized or otherwise became unable to pass on citizenship.

    Sometimes that qualifying parent is the “foreign” mother, because foreign women who married Italian men prior to April 27, 1983, automatically became Italian citizens and, in many cases, retained that citizenship even if their Italian husbands later naturalized.

    WHO KNEW?

  25. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm February 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    Bovril:

    That was a very funny thing you wrote. if you don’t have a blog to publish it on, I will be glad to put it on The Birther Think Tank under your name. (But I reserve the right to pick out the picture that goes with it.)

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  26. avatar
    donna February 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    newt ignored taitz:

    At an event in Pasadena, Gingrich got a question from Orly Taitz, the California attorney who fanned the “birther” phenomenon by filing a flurry of federal lawsuits challenging President Obama’s legitimacy to hold office.

    Taitz laid out her arguments against Obama and told Gingrich it could be a “boost”to his campaign if he picked up the issue.

    “Somebody who wouldn’t be good enough, who wouldn’t be certified to pick tomatoes or clean bathrooms is sitting in the White House,” Taitz told Gingrich, to gasps and some applause from the tea party audience.

    Gingrich demurred and said, “I think I have enough issues to debate Obama with.”

    the DITZ paid $500 for THAT?

  27. avatar
    justlw February 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: First, Mario Apuzzo did dedicate an entire article to ridicule me

    Inquiring minds want to know: has Rachel claimed her 10 large from Mario?

  28. avatar
    justlw February 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm #

    donna: newt ignored taitz:

    Other stories report that part of his response was “That’s a good project for you,” which to my mind isn’t nearly ignoring enough.

    …and to Orly’s ears is very likely, “He loves me!”

  29. avatar
    bovril February 14, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    Squeeks,

    You are more than welcome to use, tinker and expand on it. …..what about a picture of an aye-aye, that should freak a Birther or two… 8-)