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The Obama Conspiracy Theories Analogy Contest

You’ve all seen them on standardized tests – the analogy question. I’m sponsoring a contest for the best analogy regarding conspiracy theories and fringe views about Barack Obama and the cast of characters in the Birther movement. Here’s a sample analogy.

  1. Wreck is to train as Orly Taitz is to:
    A. Lawsuit
    B. Web site
    C. Political campaign
    D. The English language
    E. All of the above
    F. None of the above

,

29 Responses to The Obama Conspiracy Theories Analogy Contest

  1. avatar
    Paper February 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm #

    Birthers are to the Constitution as clowns are to

    A. Einstein
    B. horror
    C. Seinfeld
    D. seaweed
    E. All of the above except seaweed
    F. None of the above

  2. avatar
    richCares February 19, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

    Dean Haskin’s Hawaii trip failed because:
    1. Obama’s name is not Virginia Sunahara
    2. Virginia Sunahara has a different BC number
    3. Miki Booth forgot her makeup
    4. Judge laughed out load
    5. Primo beer is made by Bud (original is gone)
    6. no one could cash that big check (banks refused)

    check one or more

  3. avatar
    Thomas Brown February 19, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

    3) The Lakehurst Naval Air Station is to the Hindenburg as Orly Taitz is to:

    a) Dentistry
    b) the Practice of Law
    c) Professional Conduct
    d) Moral Integrity
    e) the Faculty of Reason
    f) All of the Above, and then some.

  4. avatar
    Paper February 19, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

    “My uterus is in my throat” is to Famous Quotes as Obama eligibility challenges are to:

    a. Law and Order
    b. The Amazing Race
    c. the 14th Amendment
    d. Lexis-Nexis
    e. empanadas
    f. the Federalist Papers

    select one or more

  5. avatar
    Lord Basil February 19, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

    G. Patroit!

  6. avatar
    donna February 19, 2012 at 9:25 pm #

    obama is to taitz as

    1) sanity is to delirium

    2) american is to not “natural born”

    3) harvard law is to online non aba-approved law school

    4) constitutional lawyer is to lawyer jokes

    5) commander in chief is to birther in chief

    6) winning is to losing

    7) 28 states won is to 28 birther challenges lost

    8) all of the above

  7. avatar
    Arthur February 19, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

    Lord Basil: G. Patroit!

    My wife know’s your fiance, Basil. And you’re a fraud.

  8. avatar
    Paper February 19, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

    Revere is to ride as Corsi is to:

    One if by canned
    Two if by dreams
    Three if by make-believe
    Four if by mean
    Five if by lies

  9. avatar
    SluggoJD February 19, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

    Squeeky is to Martha, as Dumb is to Dumber.

  10. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm February 19, 2012 at 10:50 pm #

    SluggoJD:

    I saw that!!!

    Here is my entry:

    Sunlight is to Vampires as Reality is to:

    1. Leo Donofrio
    2. Mario Apuzzo
    3. Orly Taitz
    4. Jerome Corsi
    5. Joseph Farah
    6. All of the Above

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  11. avatar
    justlw February 19, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

    rational debate : birthers ::

    1. nap time : 3 year old
    2. rap : rest home
    3. lemon : open wound
    4. glass of water : laptop
    5. bath : dog
    6. strobe light : migraine

  12. avatar
    Benji Franklin February 20, 2012 at 12:36 am #

    Founders are not to Birthers

    as

    foundering is to Birthering

  13. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny February 20, 2012 at 5:19 am #

    Obama is to Eisenhower as Orly is to

    1. Avigdor Lieberman
    2. Pavel Krushevan
    3. William Lowndes Yancey
    4. 44 monkeys typing the complete works of William Shakespeare
    5. Sanziana Buruiana
    6. Danny La Rue
    7. http://stuffucanuse.com/airport/airport-announcement.htm
    8. All of the above

  14. avatar
    Atticus Finch February 20, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    Orly: Law:
    a. Bozo: Circus
    b. 2 year old: knife
    c. Francesco Schettino: Costa Concordia
    d. Wizards: NBA basketball
    e. All of the above

    :
    attorney Orly: empty chair
    a. Titanic: iceberg
    b. raw meat: meat grinder
    c. snowball: hell
    d. paper: shredder
    e. All of the above

    Birther attorney: attorney
    a. alchemist: chemist
    b. astrologer: astronomer
    c. space cadet: astronaut
    d. nickel: Thomas Jefferson
    e. All of the above

    Birther: intelligent discourse
    a). Vampire: garlic
    b). Superman: kryptonite
    c). Jessica Simpson: tooth brush
    d). Minnesota Vikings: Super Bowl
    e). All of the above

    Birthers: Constitution
    a. baby: diapers
    b. Orly: local court rules
    c. Kardashians: marriage vows
    d. cats: litter box
    e. All of the above

    What’s the difference between Orly and the empty chair. One is articulated and prepared and other is as dense as wood.

  15. avatar
    Horus February 20, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    Trying to explain what constitutes an NBC to a Birther, is like trying to explain Calculus to a Frog.

  16. avatar
    New_Jersey_Buckeye February 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    I don’t have a good analagy but have to point this out. Dr. Conspiracy has a twitter feed, which I imagine is one of those automatic feeds that posts to twitter anytime he posts a new story on the Site.
    For this article, the twitter posting truncated the article title. It is normal to have truncated tweets. However the truncated title was a little misleading:
    “The Obama Conspiracy Theories Anal”

    It was with great trepidation that I clicked on the link. I was soo relieved to see the “Analogy Contest”.

  17. avatar
    Arthur February 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

    New_Jersey_Buckeye: For this article, the twitter posting truncated the article title. It is normal to have truncated tweets. However the truncated title was a little misleading:
    “The Obama Conspiracy Theories Anal”

    Funny! On a serious note, the truncation suggets that conspiracy theories about Obama are full of sh#t, which rings true for me.

  18. avatar
    G February 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    LMAO!

    New_Jersey_Buckeye: For this article, the twitter posting truncated the article title. It is normal to have truncated tweets. However the truncated title was a little misleading:
    “The Obama Conspiracy Theories Anal”
    It was with great trepidation that I clicked on the link. I was soo relieved to see the “Analogy Contest”.

  19. avatar
    Thomas Brown February 20, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

    Horus:
    Trying to explain what constitutes an NBC to a Birther, is like trying to explain Calculus to a Frog.

    Quite apt, as all Birther arguments are merely Derivative, and the Birther Movement is about to Croak. Legally, anyway.

  20. avatar
    Jules February 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    The Birthers are to the Natural Born Citizen Clause as:
    A. Arthur Andersen is to Generally Accepted Accounting Principles
    B. Harold Shipman is to medical ethics
    C. George W. Bush is to standard English grammar
    D. All of the above

  21. avatar
    Sam Sewell February 20, 2012 at 11:56 pm #

    Einstein debunks Obot eligibility theory

    Albert Einstein did much of his work in physics by conducting “thought experiments”
    .
    Here is a political thought experiment designed to refute the naïve thought that I have seen repeated so many times; “the fact that Obama’s mother was a US citizen when Obama was born settles the issue, regardless of where on the planet he was born”:

    Suppose that in 1975 Osama bin Laden married his first wife, an American girl who was only 17 years old. A male child was born to Osama bin Laden that same year. By the year 2012 this male child was old enough to be President of the United States and since his mother was an American Barack Hussein Osama was legally able to be on the ballot and in 2012 the son of Osama bin Laden was elected as President.

    http://thesteadydrip.blogspot.com/2012/02/why-all-this-confusion-about-what.html

  22. avatar
    G February 21, 2012 at 12:26 am #

    Ah, Sam you simpleton… you seem to make the same obvious mistake that all of the dumbest birthers do in such silly analogies.

    The answer is simple:

    1. Yes, that child in your fictional scenario would be an American NBC. His father’s background and parentage has no bearing on his citizenship, as OBL was NOT a foreign dignitary or enemy of the state at the time of his birth, in your scenario below. (Heck, we were supplying OBL with weapons against the Russians in Afghanistan in the 1980’s… in other words, he was considered a key US ally at that time…)

    2. As long as that American born child met the age and residency requirements (age 35, 14 years residency), then YES, that person is absolutely ELIGIBLE to RUN for President, according to our laws.

    3. Look at how many people file to run for President every cycle. Hundreds upon hundreds in this current 2012 contest alone. The point being that merely being ELIGIBLE is a far cry from being able to convince enough people to get one ELECTED. If there were issues of a person’s background or past that caused significant concern in the voting public, than that person would NOT be able to get ELECTED. So, in your particular fictional scenario, that OBL child would LEGALLY be ELIGIBLE to file and run for the office of President. However, his ability to convince the American public to vote him into that offer is an entirely different story, and would probably be highly unlikely at best.

    *DUH*

    Sam Sewell: Einstein debunks Obot eligibility theory Albert Einstein did much of his work in physics by conducting “thought experiments”.Here is a political thought experiment designed to refute the naïve thought that I have seen repeated so many times; “the fact that Obama’s mother was a US citizen when Obama was born settles the issue, regardless of where on the planet he was born”: Suppose that in 1975 Osama bin Laden married his first wife, an American girl who was only 17 years old. A male child was born to Osama bin Laden that same year. By the year 2012 this male child was old enough to be President of the United States and since his mother was an American Barack Hussein Osama was legally able to be on the ballot and in 2012 the son of Osama bin Laden was elected as President.http://thesteadydrip.blogspot.com/2012/02/why-all-this-confusion-about-what.html

  23. avatar
    Keith February 21, 2012 at 12:48 am #

    Sam Sewell: Einstein debunks birther eligibility theory

    (FIFY)

    Einstein’s famous equation E=mc2 should not be read as Eligibility = Midst Country 2 parents.

    A better reading is Electability = Maturity Communication 2 neurons to rub together.

    I advise you to review the chapter on Relativity. You will find that eligibility is fixed from the point of view of any observer, but electability is entirely relative depending on the point of view of the observer.

  24. avatar
    Keith February 21, 2012 at 12:49 am #

    Ahh, too bad. The site doesn’t seem to honor the “sub” and “sup” markup tags.

  25. avatar
    G February 21, 2012 at 1:38 am #

    Bravo!!

    Keith: I advise you to review the chapter on Relativity. You will find that eligibility is fixed from the point of view of any observer, but electability is entirely relative depending on the point of view of the observer.

  26. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy February 21, 2012 at 1:42 am #

    It’s a silly thought experiment. One cannot expect the Constitution to replace the voter in weeding out every potential bad candidate for President.

    I can give you a very long list of serial killers, domestic terrorists and traitors who are natural born citizens. And who is to say that a child of Osama bin Laden having been born in the United States and having lived his whole life here is necessarily an evil person? Your whole point rests on anti-Muslim stereotypes.

    Sam Sewell:
    Einstein debunks Obot eligibility theory

    Albert Einstein did much of his work in physics by conducting “thought experiments”
    .
    Here is a political thought experiment designed to refute the naïve thought that I have seen repeated so many times; “the fact that Obama’s mother was a US citizen when Obama was born settles the issue, regardless of where on the planet he was born”:

    Suppose that in 1975 Osama bin Laden married his first wife, an American girl who was only 17 years old. A male child was born to Osama bin Laden that same year. By the year 2012 this male child was old enough to be President of the United States and since his mother was an American Barack Hussein Osama was legally able to be on the ballot and in 2012 the son of Osama bin Laden was elected as President.

    http://thesteadydrip.blogspot.com/2012/02/why-all-this-confusion-about-what.html

  27. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy February 21, 2012 at 1:51 am #

    Heh. Yeah, it’s an automatic feed. It looks like the URL shortener failed and the long URL forced the truncation of the title.

    New_Jersey_Buckeye: It was with great trepidation that I clicked on the link. I was soo relieved to see the “Analogy Contest”.

  28. avatar
    Scientist February 21, 2012 at 8:32 am #

    Sam Sewell: Einstein debunks Obot eligibility theory
    Albert Einstein did much of his work in physics by conducting “thought experiments”

    Interesting that you mention Einstein, since your rule would deny the Presidency to any US-born and raised child he might have fathered prior to his naturalization in 1940 (by which time he was 60 years old). And of course, the rules everyone agrees on barred Einstein himself from being President of the US, though he was offered the presidency of Israel, a place he had visited once for 12 days before it existed as a nation.

    So, Einstein couldn’t be President though he could write a letter that started the Manhattan project. Charles Manson, John Walker Lyndh and Bernie Madoff-welcome to the White House. But not Kissinger, Schwarznegger or Granholm. Please stop pretending there is any sense in this picture.

  29. avatar
    Majority Will February 21, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    Scientist: Interesting that you mention Einstein, since your rule would deny the Presidency to any US-born and raised child he might have fathered prior to his naturalization in 1940 (by which time he was 60 years old).And of course, the rules everyone agrees on barred Einstein himself from being President of the US, though he was offered the presidency of Israel, a place he had visited once for 12 days before it existed as a nation.

    So, Einstein couldn’t be President though he could write a letter that started the Manhattan project.Charles Manson, John Walker Lyndh and Bernie Madoff-welcome to the White House.But not Kissinger, Schwarznegger or Granholm.Please stop pretending there is any sense in this picture.

    Should we expect any less from a slimy and steady drip of asinine conjecture, rage fueled bigotry and paranoid xenophobia?