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Help us Vladimir Putin: You’re our only hope!

The Congress is corrupt. The SC is corrupt. The Justice Department is corrupt. The [Washington Post] is corrupt. maybe its time we ask Putin to save our Constitution.

The Founders sought the assistance of Holland and France. Why cant we seek the assistance from Russia, the UK and France.

America is under the peril of the far left. Help us before Obama cuts our throats. We are in distress.

– DiogenesLamp
– comment at the Washington Post

What can I say?

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51 Responses to Help us Vladimir Putin: You’re our only hope!

  1. avatar
    Lupin March 19, 2012 at 9:05 am #

    Speaking for the French, the only thing I can say is, we’re willing and ready!

    First, deposit all your cash and valuables on that pile to the right.

    Also, we want Megan Fox.

  2. avatar
    Suranis March 19, 2012 at 9:07 am #

    Well, has anyone ever heard of a Black Russian?

  3. avatar
    aarrgghh March 19, 2012 at 9:23 am #

    whatever happened to “rugged individualism”?

  4. avatar
    Graham Shevlin March 19, 2012 at 9:36 am #

    So let me see if I understand this…a bunch of authoritarian conspiracy-theorizers want to obtain help to Save The USA from a bunch of Socialists and Communists?
    My irony meter just wrapped its needle round the end stop…

  5. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny March 19, 2012 at 9:40 am #

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/aug/29/russia.georgia

    Of course, Putin has his own birfers. Who claim he’s actually from … Georgia.

  6. avatar
    Suranis March 19, 2012 at 9:45 am #

    You mean like Stalin? o.O

  7. avatar
    JPotter March 19, 2012 at 10:04 am #

    Silly Diogenes! Putin (like everyone else!) is in on “it”!!!

    Google “Putin funds Obama campaign” for definitive* proof. Due to Russia’s recent election, results about Obama funding Putin will be at the top. Whatever. Just makes Diogenes doubly silly.

    As Russia has every interest in high oil prices, I wouldn’t expect Putin to cross Obama the Energy Obstructionist* anytime soon … this makes Diogenes triply silly.

    I will also add that black Russians are far superior to white ones (as The Dude would say, “Caucasians”)

    ________

    * By birther standards.

  8. avatar
    Dave March 19, 2012 at 10:45 am #

    He’s on his way, soon we’ll be saved.

  9. avatar
    Dave March 19, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    Shoot, I see you have wisely blocked image embedding. Oh, well.

    Link

  10. avatar
    Sef March 19, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    Lupin: Also, we want Megan Fox.

    Also, she has to lose the tats.

  11. avatar
    Lupin March 19, 2012 at 10:53 am #

    Sef: Also, she has to lose the tats.

    That’s negotiable. If you throw in Scarlett Johanssen, we’ll save your Constitution AND keep Megan’s tattoos.

  12. avatar
    Sef March 19, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    Lupin: That’s negotiable. If you throw in Scarlett Johanssen, we’ll save your Constitution AND keep Megan’s tattoos.

    Frankly, Scarlett, I give a d*mn.

  13. avatar
    Thrifty March 19, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

    I wonder what these clowns consider the “not far left”.

  14. avatar
    Scientist March 19, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    Lupin: Also, we want Megan Fox.

    Can we trade her for Vanessa Paradis (you guys can keep Johnny Depp)?

  15. avatar
    Lupin March 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Thrifty:
    I wonder what these clowns consider the “not far left”.

    Pinochet.

  16. avatar
    The Magic M March 19, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    Well, I’ve been seeing ridiculously ironic stuff like that occasionally, maybe it will increase as birthers grow more and more desperate.
    I mean, Ahmadinejad, Castro and North Korea will probably be happy to support their cause.
    (Just like our German Neo-Nazis court open Jew-haters like Ahmadinejad or some right-wing Russian politicians in the hope to gain some traction in the form of “international support”. They even claim “the proud Iranian people” are on their side, though they would likely gladly beat up anyone looking even remotely Iranian if they encountered them somewhere in Germany.)

  17. avatar
    Greenfinches March 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

    I suspect the UK would help – can we have Paul Krugman on long term loan?

    and of course we will want a cheap deal on Hawaii. The birthers don’t in general seem to think it is part of the US, so they won’t mind, and our holidays would be good…………

  18. avatar
    Sef March 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

    Greenfinches:
    I suspect the UK would help – can we have Paul Krugman on long term loan?

    and of course we will want a cheap deal on Hawaii.The birthers don’t in general seem to think it is part of the US, so they won’t mind, and our holidays would be good…………

    After Cameron sells off all your roads will the new owners have people finally drive on the “right” side of the road?

  19. avatar
    Joe Acerbic March 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    You could say with good cause that birfoons are America-hating traitors.

  20. avatar
    Arthur March 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    Greenfinches: I suspect the UK would help – can we have Paul Krugman on long term loan?

    No, but how about you get the Cato Institute and agree to take back Russel Brand?

  21. avatar
    Arthur March 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm #

    Scientist: Can we trade her for Vanessa Paradis (you guys can keep Johnny Depp)?

    May the Lord bless and keep Johnny Depp–far away from us! Depp: the story of a moderately talent actor who began to believe the b.s. that people were saying about him.

  22. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny March 19, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    Joe Acerbic:
    You could say with good cause that birfoons are America-hating traitors.

    That is the crux of the matter.

    In fact, what the birfers are asking for, will not happen, mainly because it has already been done. Foreign observers were present to monitor the 2008 elections and they found nothing wrong.

  23. avatar
    J. Edward Tremlett March 19, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    Well, you have to give Putin his due. The man is one scary mama-jama. It’s pretty much no secret that he tried to have that one politician assassinated via radiation poisoning, and NOTHING happened to him.

    So if they wanted a man who could get things done…

  24. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter March 19, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

    DiogenesLimp is an idiot. I used to debate him at Free Republic before I got banned. He has no concept of legal precedent. I thought he was a Sovereign Citizen type in disguise. His approach IIRC (which means If I remember correctly) was sort of a Gestalt Feeling that it required two citizen parents and to heck with judges.

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  25. avatar
    BillTheCat March 19, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

    Birthers are such adorable seditionists.

    Gee, hasn’t DiogenesLimp discovered Pravda like the other traitor-wannabees?

  26. avatar
    Predicto March 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    Confirming what Squeeky says – DiogenesLamp is one of the leading birthers at Free Republic. Although he doesn’t understand basic legal principles, he thinks that he is extraoridinarily intelligent, and he writes long convoluted essays of nonsense that the remaining birthers look to as “authority” and repeat without hesitation.

    He has given me many a good giggle over time.

  27. avatar
    jamese777 March 19, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    I agree with the Girl Reporter. I used to also debate Diogenes Lamp before I got banned from Free Republic.
    Diogenes Lamp is not the brightest bulb in the package and defeating him in debate was not very difficult.
    I am not surprised that he would call on a former high ranking official of the KGB (Vladimir Putin) to “save America.” Putin’s job used to be figuring out how to bring down the US.
    With Diogenes Lamp calling on him for assistance, that job can still be implemented.

    I wonder why not turn to Sheriff Joe as opposed to Vladimir Putin!

  28. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy March 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm #

    I liked him in Ed Wood.

    Arthur: Depp: the story of a moderately talent actor who began to believe the b.s. that people were saying about him.

  29. avatar
    Greenfinches March 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm #

    Arthur: No, but how about you get the Cato Institute and agree to take back Russel Brand?

    MAYBE – if we get Hawaii for free!?

  30. avatar
    Greenfinches March 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    Sef: After Cameron sells off all your roads will the new owners have people finally drive on the “right” side of the road

    you mean leases them out….

    and don’t worry, we already do drive on the right side of the road. We showed you how, not our fault you get it wrong!!!

  31. avatar
    Arthur March 19, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: I liked him in Ed Wood.

    Yeah, I was kinda’ being too hard on the lad; I’ve just grown sick of his demented pirate schtick and it’s various iterations in “Willy Wonka,” “Alice in Wonderland,” and the upcoming “Dark Shadows.”

  32. avatar
    Arthur March 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    Greenfinches: MAYBE – if we get Hawaii for free!?

    Half of Hawii, and all of Mississippi? And I’ll throw in the panhandles of Florida and Oklahoma.

  33. avatar
    Greenfinches March 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    Arthur: Half of Hawii, and all of Mississippi? And I’ll throw in the panhandles of Florida and Oklahoma.

    All Hawaii, sorry (we need somewhere with sunshine…) I suppose we could take Mississipi, but you have to keep all the Mississipians. Don’t forget, we are a socialist paradise with health care and no guns and gays in the military and laws against unfair dismissal from a job – and we really really don’t want any Republicans to confuse matters. AND we don’t do God. Transplanted Mississipians would die of shock.

  34. avatar
    Keith March 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm #

    Lupin: That’s negotiable. If you throw in Scarlett Johanssen, we’ll save your Constitution AND keep Megan’s tattoos.

    You are clearly not French. Asking for a hot woman who cannot act, before a hot woman who can act is clearly not the “French Way”.

    And any way, Johanssen is Seth Efrican.

  35. avatar
    Keith March 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm #

    Arthur: May the Lord bless and keep Johnny Depp–far away from us!Depp: the story of a moderately talent actor who began to believe the b.s. that people were saying about him.

    He does do a pretty good impression of Hunter S. Thompson though. Bill Murray’s Hunter might be better, but Johnny’s is not bad.

  36. avatar
    Scientist March 19, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    Keith: And any way, Johanssen is Seth Efrican.

    No, she isn’t. She was born in NYC to a Danish father and an American-Jewish mother.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlett_Johansson

    Scarlett Johansson is a natural born citizen and will be eligible to be President when she turns 35 in 2019.

  37. avatar
    Majority Will March 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    Keith: And any way, Johanssen is Seth Efrican.

    Charlize Theron is a South African actress. Is that who you meant?

  38. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny March 19, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    JPotter: I will also add that black Russians are far superior to white ones (as The Dude would say, “Caucasians”)

    Actually, Russians consider Caucasians “black”. Most vehement racism is reserved for people who look like they may be Chechens or Georgians (in a recent past, thousands of Russians of Georgian descent have russified their names.

    It is really a religious thing, originally. For centuries, the Tatars “harvested”the Russian and Ukrainian steppe for slaves. Christian Caucasians ie Cossacks, Armenians and Ossetians are OK. The problem with Georgians is a) South Ossetia b) the existence of a Georgian maffia which managed to chase the grannies earning a small living vending the proceeds from their garden off the small local markets.

    And watching Orly, she too suffers from religious racism.

    The birfers would not like the results of an inquest by a judge appointed by Putin. He would probably take his time, visiting Arpaio, Zullo and the palintiffs in Alabama, Georgia and Florida, but also a certain Mrs Guthrie. His conclusion would be that the President was “indeed eligible, but you see, they still like to hang blacks down there in the South”,

  39. avatar
    J. Potter March 19, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    Paul Pieniezny: Actually, Russians consider Caucasians “black”.

    No doubt Birthers would not enjoy Putin’s “assistance”! But, really, I was just cracking wise about mixology. I really do prefer Black Russians over White.

  40. avatar
    Jamese777 March 19, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    Majority Will: Charlize Theron is a South African actress. Is that who you meant?

    You see one blonde whose bones Lupin would like to jump, and you’ve seen them all!

  41. avatar
    Jen March 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

    DiogenesLamp is always good for a laugh on FreeRepublic. I think he posts every thought that comes into his head, no matter how ridiculous.

  42. avatar
    Northland10 March 19, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

    Suranis:
    Well, has anyone ever heard of a Black Russian?

    I’d rather have an Irish Coffee.

  43. avatar
    Keith March 19, 2012 at 10:53 pm #

    Scientist: No, she isn’t.She was born in NYC to a Danish father and an American-Jewish mother.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlett_Johansson

    Scarlett Johansson is a natural born citizen and will be eligible to be President when she turns 35 in 2019.

    Majority Will: Charlize Theron is a South African actress. Is that who you meant?

    Oops. Yep. That’s what I meant Theron.

    But I stand by my remark about which one can act though.

  44. avatar
    J. Potter March 20, 2012 at 12:17 am #

    Lupin: Pinochet.

    Hey, Lupin, you’re probably about to start your day. Sorry to hear about the violence yesterday. Sounds like a hate crime spree? Here’s hoping for a quick arrest.

  45. avatar
    Greenfinches March 20, 2012 at 2:10 am #

    J. Potter: Sorry to hear about the violence yesterday. Sounds like a hate crime spree? Here’s hoping for a quick arrest.

    seconded! A very nasty business in a superb city. I hope the authorities catch the man speedily.

  46. avatar
    G March 20, 2012 at 2:48 am #

    Hey, I like Lupin’s style and taste!

    Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron are both top hotties on my list too! I also agree that Megan Fox is stunning to look at.

    🙂

    Jamese777: You see one blonde whose bones Lupin would like to jump, and you’ve seen them all!

  47. avatar
    G March 20, 2012 at 3:02 am #

    Yes, I send my sincere condolences to your nation as well.

    The evidence so far certainly points to a religiously-motivated hate crime. In addition to the 4 killed yesterday at the Jewish school, they have stated that this is the work of the same person who killled the 3 North African soldiers last week:

    It is now established beyond doubt that the three incidents in Toulouse and Montauban were the work of the same man. He used the same gun, rode the same 500cc Yamaha scooter, and acted with the same cold-blooded brutality.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17441244

    I hope they find this b@stard real soon…and before he can harm anyone else. It is situations like this that I feel deserve the death penalty. I realize your nation does not support that.

    J. Potter: Hey, Lupin, you’re probably about to start your day. Sorry to hear about the violence yesterday. Sounds like a hate crime spree? Here’s hoping for a quick arrest.

  48. avatar
    Lupin March 20, 2012 at 5:30 am #

    The killer began with one soldier from African descent, then two from Maghrebin (North African Arabic) descent, then the Jewish school.

    The police profilers think he’s either a Breivik/Far Right/White Supremacist type or a Muslim/Terrorist/Lone Wolf (in which case killing the soldiers would be executing traitors, even though some had served in Africa, not Afghanistan).

    They have CCTV images of him & his bike, plus a witness who partially saw his face in Montauban. Bikes like his have to be licensed, so I’d assume between that and the likelihood of being turned in by a neighbor etc. it’s only a matter of time before they catch him.

    I think this is the first time ever we’ve seen something like that in France. It is quite a shock. (And not very far from where we live.)

  49. avatar
    Lupin March 20, 2012 at 5:30 am #

    And thank you all for your kind words of support.

  50. avatar
    Scientist March 20, 2012 at 7:13 am #

    Lupin: I think this is the first time ever we’ve seen something like that in France. It is quite a shock. (And not very far from where we live.)

    When I lived in Lyon in the 1990s there was a car bomb in front of a Jewish school, timed to go off just as school let out. The rabbi had kept the kids a few minutes late that day (whether through luck or the work of God, I leave to the reader) and no one was injured.

    I hope they find this guy soon.

  51. avatar
    Lupin March 20, 2012 at 9:25 am #

    Scientist: When I lived in Lyon in the 1990s there was a car bomb in front of a Jewish school, timed to go off just as school let out.The rabbi had kept the kids a few minutes late that day (whether through luck or the work of God, I leave to the reader) and no one was injured.

    I hope they find this guy soon.

    There was also a terrorist strikes in the Rue des Rosiers (a Jewish neighborhood) in Paris several years which left 6 dead, but these were linked to the Israel-Palestinian conflict and were quickly claimed. This is more a Breivik-kind of thing, with a very mixed bag of victims, the common thread being intense xenophobia. We’ll see what happens.

    This is, i fear, the kind of anger and hatred stirred up by birthers as ell.