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Flash: Obama invents telegraph

Or something that crazy sounding. Representative Steve King (R-IA) has come up with a theory to explain how Barack Obama’s birth appeared in the Health Bureau Statistics column of two Honolulu newspapers in 1961. Obama telegraphed the announcement to the newspapers from Kenya!

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Yes, that’s not “the proud parents are pleased to announce” but “Health Bureau Statistics” from the, you know, Health Bureau. Oh and then there is that pesky doctor’s signature on the birth certificate.

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Here’s the video:

39 Responses to Flash: Obama invents telegraph

  1. avatar
    Lupin August 2, 2012 at 11:39 am #

    Since that guy looks like he doesn’t really believe that sh*t, it must mean that he thinks the voters are ubercretins.

  2. avatar
    justlw August 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

    Thanks for that first image! I knew that was the case, but I hadn’t seen it documented visually like that before.

  3. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy August 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    It’s always good to have the evidence in hand.

    justlw: Thanks for that first image! I knew that was the case, but I hadn’t seen it documented visually like that before.

  4. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG August 2, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

    Seeing as they believe anything anti-Obama, no matter how far fetched it is, I’m half tempted to tell birthers “Hey, if you go drink everything under your kitchen sinks, the world would believe you about Obama!”, but I don’t want THAT much blood on my hands.

  5. avatar
    Joe Acerbic August 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

    Lupin:
    Since that guy looks like he doesn’t really believe that sh*t, it must mean that he thinks the voters are ubercretins.

    His voters are.

  6. avatar
    Sam the Centipede August 2, 2012 at 2:17 pm #

    Joe Acerbic: His voters are.

    Or perhaps he realises some of his potential voters are uber-cretins but the others who are not will understand that that babble is not aimed at them.

    A vote’s a vote, even if it’s a cretin’s vote. That’s a sad failing of democracy.

  7. avatar
    Jamese777 August 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter:
    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=191886940942031&set=o.336633093033602&type=1&relevant_count=1&ref=nf

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    “This content is currently unavailable.”

  8. avatar
    MattR August 2, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

    Rep King was also recently in the news for arguing that it was wrong to outlaw dog fighting since we allow humans to fight for sport. Much like Santorum with his man on dog comparison to gay marriage, they don’t quite understand the concept of consent.

  9. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter August 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    James777:

    Darn, it was on a private facebook page. Sooo, I just now made a Internet Article out of it, so I could link the picture that way:

    http://birtherthinktank.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/telegram.jpg?w=490

    Thank you for letting me know!!!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  10. avatar
    justlw August 2, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter:
    James777:

    Darn, it was on a private facebook page. Sooo, I just now made a Internet Article out of it, so I could link the picture that way:

    http://birtherthinktank.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/telegram.jpg?w=490

    Thank you for letting me know!!!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    Nitpicky comment:

    “STOP” was used as a replacement for a period (full stop), so you wouldn’t see both STOP and “.” in a telegram.

    I’ve heard different reasons (“Using the word “STOP” instead of a full stop saved money because four-letter words were free and punctuation cost extra”, which sounds counter-intuitive), but the most plausible one I’ve found is this 1928 guide:

    Officials felt that the vital orders of the Government must be definite and clear cut, and they therefore used not only the word “stop,” to indicate a period, but also adopted the practice of spelling out “comma,” “colon,” and “semi-colon.” The word “query” often was used to indicate a question mark. Of all these, however, “stop” has come into most widespread use, and vaudeville artists and columnists have employed it with humorous effect, certain that the public would understand the allusion in connection with telegrams. It is interesting to note, too, that although the word is obviously English it has come into general use In all languages that are used in telegraphing or cabling.

  11. avatar
    justlw August 2, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

    By the way, “Squeeky Fromm, Girl Vaudeville Artist and Columnist” would be a cool byline.

  12. avatar
    nbc August 2, 2012 at 5:16 pm #

    MattR:
    Rep King was also recently in the news for arguing that it was wrong to outlaw dog fighting since we allow humans to fight for sport.Much like Santorum with his man on dog comparison to gay marriage, they don’t quite understand the concept of consent.

    He is a total moron

    King goes completely off the rails when he tries to explain his position saying how animals have more rights than fetuses and suggesting “that liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then ‘drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.’” Since that is illegal, King should try it and see just how fast he gets arrested and locked up in jail.

    This guy is an embarrassment to our Nation and to Christianity.

  13. avatar
    MattR August 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

    nbc: King goes completely off the rails when he tries to explain his position saying how animals have more rights than fetuses and suggesting “that liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then ‘drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.’”

    I don’t know how that quote slipped my mind.

    Is King’s quote some kind of Freudian slip that gives us insights into his fantasies?

  14. avatar
    nbc August 2, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    MattR: Is King’s quote some kind of Freudian slip that gives us insights into his fantasies?

    Makes most sense. What other explanation could there be for such an idiotic claim?

  15. avatar
    American Mzungu August 2, 2012 at 7:18 pm #

    Ann’s contractions were only a minute apart, but for the first time in a month she was thinking clearly. Pain sometimes focuses the mind. She said, “Nurse Wanjui, would you ask Mama Sarah to do me a favor? Would you ask if she would take a telegraph message to the East African Telephone & Telegraph office when the baby arrives?” Nurse Wanjui asked, and then reported, “Yes, she said she would, Mama Kidogo. What message should she send?”

    Ann waited until the nurse got paper and pencil, and began to dictate. “BABY BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA II STOP PREMONITION STOP FUTURE PRESIDENT STOP IMPERATIVE TO CREATE HAWAIIAN BIRTH CERTIFICATE SHOWING LOCAL BIRTH STOP WHATEVER IT TAKES STOP ALSO SEND $3000 TO AMERICAN EMBASSY STOP AIEEEEEEEEEE!! (Ann said to the nurse, I hope you didn’t include that.) WILL PROCEED TO UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON WITH BABY STOP WISH YOU WERE HERE STOP LOVE STOP STANLEY

    “Could you read that back to me, nurse Wanjui?” Ann said, “Please take 100 shillings from my purse and give the money and the note to Mama Sarah. Maybe two 100 shilling bills. She’ll need to take a bus. (Ann had no idea how much this would cost, but better safe than sorry.)

    Mama Sarah waited until the baby came, three hours later, and Ann said, “Go!” and waved her hand. Mama Sarah understood. It was still afternoon, so she asked the nurse where to catch a bus to the EA Telephone & Telegraph Office.

    Three hours later, Mama Sarah returned, with a receipt and change. “Asante sana” Ann said, in a phrase she’d learned from her husband, many months ago. She relaxed for a second, thinking ahead to the day her son would become President of the United States. Then she began to think about getting back to Nairobi and the long trip back. Things hadn’t gone as planned. But, she thought, tomorrow is another day.

  16. avatar
    donna August 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm #

    American Mzungu:

    i hope you’re a writer in your “in skin” world – if not, you should really tap that talent

  17. avatar
    American Mzungu August 2, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

    donna: i hope you’re a writer in your “in skin” world – if not, you should really tap that talent

    I’ve just put the ball on the T and hoping that a real writer takes a whack at continuing the story when the mythical telegram is delivered to the Dunhams. 🙂

  18. avatar
    JD Reed August 2, 2012 at 10:25 pm #

    Time to drag out the H.L. Mencken quotes:
    “A demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be false to peoplehe knows to be idiots.”

  19. avatar
    jdkinpa August 2, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    Hey guys, I’m currently having a posting duel with a birther over at Mediaite.com. Just a sampling.

    Excuse me but Obama’s BS has been proven a fraud and his birth records have shown up in british archives!How does an Americans birth records show up in the UK?
    That’s only the beginning of evidence found.Obama’s fake BC would never past the smell test in a court of law!Obama is a KENYAN and he paid millions to lawyers to hide this!WHY?Because he has been lying since DAY ONE and is a LIAR that lost his license to practice law along with his wife for LYING to the IL.bar.Look it up folks or do you support liars.

    Sorry,these are facts proven by law enforcement and the british archives office and the IL.Bar.I hear crickets because you can’t change what the records say and facts!

    This is the first time I’ve heard of the British archives claim. Anyone else?

  20. avatar
    Craig August 2, 2012 at 11:51 pm #

    Looks like it first appeared over at the DailyPen. Which has such a STERLING reputation with the truth already!

    http://thedailypen.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/obamas-kenyan-birth-records-discovered.html

    I particularly love the editors note!

    “(Editors note: The records alluded to in this story were discovered through a May, 2012 search through BMD Registers, a BNA partner site, using the search term “Obama”. Corroborating evidence through public sources only implicates the identity of those involved but does not explicitly prove their identity in the absence of the availability of original documents.)”

  21. avatar
    jdkinpa August 3, 2012 at 12:34 am #

    Craig thanks, after reading the posts that appear there I’m at a loss as to how these people are able to function in the real world. I’ve only know one other person as delusional as some of those posters, and he was already in an institution.

  22. avatar
    linda August 3, 2012 at 1:22 am #

    I saw a tabloid headline, but nothing else.

    jdkinpa: This is the first time I’ve heard of the British archives claim. Anyone else?

  23. avatar
    donna August 3, 2012 at 1:48 am #

    jdkinpa:

    dontcha just love when they use words/phrases like “proven”, “evidence”, “never pass ….. in a court of law”, “paid millions to lawyers to hide”, ” lost his license to practice law “, “proven by law enforcement”, etc?

    do these regressives EVER progress beyond conspiracies that REALLY HAVE BEEN PROVEN FALSE?

  24. avatar
    The Magic M August 3, 2012 at 6:15 am #

    donna: “paid millions to lawyers to hide”

    I’m really waiting for the tiny step it takes to morph this into “paid millions of lawyers to hide”. Birthers would suck it up, I guess. 😉

  25. avatar
    RuhRoh August 3, 2012 at 8:06 am #

    @jdkinpa: Dan Crosby at The Daily Pen is also the guy who concocted the lie that Alexandra Hill admitted Obama’s BC was fraudulent in a NJ court.

    Jerome Corsi says he was in the UK investigating whether Obama’s Kenyan BC was in England. He did a radio interview from London with Peter Boyles in which he didn’t explicitly say that he had found Obama’s BC, but said he found a lot of interesting stuff and that Kenyan vital records had been destroyed. (I left a post about this in the open thread a few days ago.) Apparently, Corsi is operating under the auspices of the CCP, as he said that he would first present his findings to them and then a decision would be reached about what to release to the public and when.

    Corsi was due back in the U.S. yesterday, August 2.

    If I had to guess, I’d say that these “findings” will be presented just before the verdict in Arpaio’s racial profiling case is announced. No verdict will be reached prior to August 16th.

  26. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny August 3, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    RuhRoh: but said he found a lot of interesting stuff and that Kenyan vital records had been destroyed.

    Surprise, surprise, exactly what I predicted a week ago.

    And how alike the “document with the list of all those who went to and came from Kenya in August 1961 is missing”. (Oh, and he looked for that one in Hawaii!)

    Silly guy was looking in the wrong place and found nothing because there is nothing to find. (In 1961, hospitals in Kenya were still racially segregated and African births were not even registered).

    Bis repetita placent.

    Now someone had better tell his friend Mr King that the telegram from Night Hawk was a hoax.

  27. avatar
    American Mzungu August 3, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    Stanley came home late, expecting dinner on the table, but instead he found Madelyn with her head buried in her arms on the table, sobbing uncontrolably. He asked, “What IS the problem?” She raised her head and pointed at the telegram on the table. Stanley read it twice. “When did this arrive?” “I found it in the mail slot when I came home. There’s also an aerogram that was sent six days ago that was in the mail too.” Stanley read that three times.

    Madelyn yelled, “It’s all your fault. I told you something awful like this would happen if we let her go to Africa.” Stanley tried to calm her, “We’ve had this discussion ten times before, and besides, it’s water over the dam. We have to figure out what to do now. She’s our only daughter.” Madelyn wasn’t to be consoled quite so easily. “YOU were the one that took her side. YOU were the one who took out a second mortgage on the house to pay for her ticket. YOU were the one who said we need to support our daughter even when she wanted to marry that African. Sometimes I think Ann inherited all your bad genes. I don’t know why I ever let you name her Stanley—WHO names their daughter Stanley.”The fight lasted half an hour until they were both exhausted and hungry. Stanley said, “Let’s go out to eat, and we can talk about it when we get back.”

    The meal was taken in silence.

    When they got back, Stanley started, “I agree. I was wrong. But we need to figure out how to get our little girl back, with our first grandson. That’s got to be our first consideration. From the aerogram Ann says she couldn’t get on her flight because she was too late in her term, and she went down to Mombasa to catch a boat back back home. She says she had to borrow money for the ticket from her in-laws, but she needs money to buy another ticket by air, and she wants to pay back the money she borrowed. Can we swing another loan at the bank?” Madelyn said, “I don’t see how, but I’ll tell them it’s a matter of life or death. If not, we’ll have to borrow from our family. You know what kind of trouble that always leads to.”

    Madelyn said, “What about Ann’s demand that we arrange for a birth certificate from Hawaii? That doesn’t make any sense to me.” Stanley said, “That girl comes up with some wild ideas, but this I’ve-got-a-premonition-that-he’s-going-to-become-President-some-day-and-he-needs-proof-that-he-was-born-in-the-USA crap is just delusional. I hope for the sake of the baby she’s not smoking anything funny. How she thinks we can snap our fingers and create a birth certificate out of thin air is beyond me.” Madelyn said, “Well, somebody did it for Sun Yatsen.” Stanley glowered. “This little baby ain’t the President of China. If he becomes the President of the United States of America, maybe somebody will make one up too.”

    Madelyn thought for a while. “What about an announcement in the newspapers? How will we let our friends know that our Stanley Ann has had a baby? Stanley shot back, ”
    Newspapers? You’re worried about getting an annoucement in the newspapers? That’s all through the Health Department anyway.” He calmed down a little. “Give Barack a call to bring him up on the latest. If he’s moved again, just leave a message at the university with his adviser— he’ll know how to get in touch. Barack ought to be paying for his wife anyway, not that he can.

    Madelyn said, “From the air letters we got, at least Barack’s stepmother Sarah seems to be taking care of our little girl. We ought to find out from Barack how to get in touch with the family in Kenya to thank them.” Stanley said, “And we ought to check with Washington to see when classes begin and when the rest of the payments for the first semester are due.”

    They tossed and turned a lot that night, but in the morning Stanley said, “Just put one foot in front of the other. That’s how we’ll get through this.” Madelyn said, ” If we ever get her and her boy back alive, I’m going to tan her behind for putting us through all this.”

    On her deathbed, Madelyn thought back. “Maybe we should have contacted the mafia. Had I known my grandson might become President, I would have embezzled the money to pay for a birth certificate.”

  28. avatar
    Whatever4 August 4, 2012 at 2:53 am #

    American Mzungu — I am enjoying your story! Thanks!

  29. avatar
    American Mzungu August 5, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    THE STEVE KING VERSION OF THE TELEGRAM

    Dick shouts out, “Jane, come over here. You’ve got to read this.” Jane asks, “What is it?” Dick says, “Something sent up from the mail room. You won’t believe it.” Jane reads, and yells over to Mary, “You really need to see this.” Bill comes over too. After he finishes reading and laughing, Bill says, “So we are supposed to believe that a girl named Stanley gives birth to a baby named Barack in Kenya and wants us to write up a birth certificate because she has a premonition that the baby will become President some day and needs paperwork to show he was born in Hawaii, and she wants us to send over the notice to the newspaper so her parents and her husband will be notified about the birth.” Mary asks, “So who’s the prankster?” Dick says, “It’s got to be one of the P.R. people.” Jane thinks it might be their supervisor.

    Anyway, they decide the “telegram” should be posted on the bulletin board in the snack bar. Everyone has a good laugh, but Jane thinks that somebody really should have waited until April Fools’ Day to come up with such a good prank.

  30. avatar
    American Mzungu August 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    After sending Ann’s telegram Sarah got on the bus back to the hospital. She sat there thinking, “What is village Luo woman doing here on coast in an Arab city? Mombasa is hot; it burns my eyes; it offends my nose; it hurts my ears. I am too old for this nonsense. Onyango, when I get back to Kogelo, I will have words with you.”

    I was a fortnight before Sarah made it back home. Onyango asked, “Where have you been?” She said, “Tomorrow you will hear.”

    The next day, she started. “Onyango, you said to me, ’Now that we have finished with the celebration, go with Kezia to Nairobi to see off Barack’s woman.’ Onyango, you said, ‘Do it for the family.’ Onyango, you said, ‘Here is 100 shillings.’ Onyango, you said, ‘What can go wrong?’ ” Sarah said, “Onyango, you are a [CENSORED]”

    [Writer’s note: I can’t make it work; it will take a birther to connect the dots. They are much more creative and inventing connections between dots. The dots:

    1. They’ve got to get a VERY pregnant Ann out to the main Busia-Kisumu highway. At best there was a track and some dry creek beds for four-wheel vehicles. Haul Ann 20 miles in a cart? Two days?
    2. They could flag down the daily bus once out on the highway. To Kampala and then to Entebbe airport? It would be a little closer than Nairobi. If Ann had flown into Entebbe, her round trip ticket would have her depart from Entebbe. Another grueling day.
    3. Or take a bus to Kisumu, and then by train or bus to Nairobi? Bus is a little tougher, but cheaper.
    4. Refused departure by airline. Decisions about what to do now. To American Embassy for help?
    5. Either from Kampala or from Nairobi, down to Mombasa. Kezia doesn’t go because she says she has to go back to work in Nairobi—she’s already taken off two weeks? Leaving Sarah in charge? Missionaries volunteer to take them to Mombasa? Or by train or by bus.
    6. Waiting for passage on a ship in Mombasa, days pass and then labor starts. To the hospital. Telegram written. Birth. Four days in Hospital? Is Sarah sleeping on the floor? Buy baby supplies?
    7. Back to Nairobi on train. One day. To American Embassy to add baby to passport, pick up money, buy plane tickets, buy more baby supplies. Several days. Where do they stay?
    8. Out to Nairobi airport, Ann finally gets on plane. Sarah somehow gets back to Nairobi, rests up a day (with Kezia’s?) before heading back by bus or train. Another night in Kisumu?
    9. Get dropped off on the Kisumu-Busia highway and then a twenty mile walk back to Kogelo.

    However, I do know the ending. Sarah says to Onyango, “Now you will build me a house with a metal roof.”

  31. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy August 10, 2012 at 2:46 am #

    Prominent birther KenyanBornObamAcorn claims that Rep. King’s comments were in response to questions she asked online during the town hall broadcast.

  32. avatar
    G August 10, 2012 at 3:15 am #

    Interesting! Thanks for sharing that little tidbit!

    It wouldn’t surprise me at all, for KBOA to be going around to townhall broadcasts and bringing up such questions. That sounds like something she would do. So I have no reason to doubt this particular claim by KBOA.

    Dr. Conspiracy: Prominent birther KenyanBornObamAcorn claims that Rep. King’s comments were in response to questions she asked online during the town hall broadcast.

  33. avatar
    American Mzungu August 10, 2012 at 9:06 am #

    He, Lucas Smith, left a comment on the last open thread inviting Doc C and members to comment on his story about Rep King and the telegraph that he, Lucas Smith, had posted on his blog. I had pointed him to this thread and invited him to comment, but I see above that he, Lucas Smith, had nothing to contribute.

  34. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy August 10, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    Nor do I. She has a YouTube video with screen shots too. It’s on her channel.

    G: So I have no reason to doubt this particular claim by KBOA.

  35. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy August 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    I think the more interesting thing is that she’s not alone. Just as we saw town hall meetings disrupted by birthers in the last election cycle, it will happen again this time around, and perhaps more often.

    These folks are not going to shut up. They think this will be a problem for Obama, their continually keeping the issue before the public, but I think it works the other way and will be an embarrassment in particular to Mitt Romney.

    G: It wouldn’t surprise me at all, for KBOA to be going around to townhall broadcasts and bringing up such questions. That sounds like something she would do.

  36. avatar
    American Mzungu August 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: Just as we saw town hall meetings disrupted by birthers in the last election cycle, it will happen again this time around, and perhaps more often.

    Rep King had flirted with birthers before, but his answer to this recent question was totally unsatisfactory to freepers. Why make birther sounds if the birthers don’t like what they hear? Plus you get tagged as nutty by everyone else. You would think that by this time staffers would have worked out talking points for their bosses.

  37. avatar
    G August 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    I see it the same way as you do.

    Dr. Conspiracy: These folks are not going to shut up. They think this will be a problem for Obama, their continually keeping the issue before the public, but I think it works the other way and will be an embarrassment in particular to Mitt Romney.

    I was expecting to hear a lot more “town hall ruckus” reports…but so far, it has been comparitively quiet on that front. If only it could remain so “peaceful”…but I’ve become to cynical to expect that to be so.

    Sadly, at this point, I will only be surprised IF we aren’t hearing about a bunch of uncouth RWNJ behaviors in various town hall forums, leading up through this particular election.. .

    Dr. Conspiracy: I think the more interesting thing is that she’s not alone. Just as we saw town hall meetings disrupted by birthers in the last election cycle, it will happen again this time around, and perhaps more often.

  38. avatar
    G August 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm #

    LOL! Good points. It serves these shameless panderers right for flirting with such irresponsible “red meat”… They deserve nothing less than to be eventually all skewered and hoisted on their petards by their own base and the very “base” mentality that they intentionally fostered and stoked all along….

    American Mzungu: Rep King had flirted with birthers before, but his answer to this recent question was totally unsatisfactory to freepers. Why make birther sounds if the birthers don’t like what they hear? Plus you get tagged as nutty by everyone else. You would think that by this time staffers would have worked out talking points for their bosses.