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What shall we do with a crazy birther?

Today is September 19, International Talk Like a Pirate Day1, arrrrrr. And so mateys, in recognition of that day I introduce a nautical-themed contest, to come up with the best one-line answer to the question:

What shall we do with a crazy birther,
What shall we do with a crazy birther,
What shall we do with a crazy birther,
Early in the mornin’?

The tune is from the song “What shall we do with a drunken sailor” as heard in the video below. The Wikipedia article has many answers to the drunken sailor question. What’s your solution for a crazy birther? My entry is:

Strap him in a chair at Orly’s office.

Arrrrrr.

 


1Real pirates are hardly the loveable miscreants  immortalized by the Disney song “Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirates life for me” and they are no laughing matter. They cruelly prey on the weak and strong alike, spreading fear and death over many parts of the world.

22 Responses to What shall we do with a crazy birther?

  1. avatar
    Sudoku September 19, 2012 at 12:16 am #

    Make him watch loops of Mario’s hearings.

  2. avatar
    G September 19, 2012 at 12:35 am #

    Now that’s cruel…

    Sudoku:
    Make him watch loops of Mario’s hearings.

  3. avatar
    Sudoku September 19, 2012 at 12:42 am #

    :mrgreen:

    G: Now that’s cruel…

  4. avatar
    Daniel September 19, 2012 at 12:54 am #

    Send him to Obama’s inauguration.

  5. avatar
    insomnia September 19, 2012 at 1:05 am #

    Sanction her for lots of dollars, sanction her for lots of dollars,
    every case she files!

  6. avatar
    foreigner September 19, 2012 at 1:10 am #

    am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

  7. avatar
    bob j September 19, 2012 at 1:56 am #

    smile and nod when the judge gives sanctions

  8. avatar
    richCares September 19, 2012 at 2:14 am #

    “Strap him in a chair at Orly’s office”
    no
    Let him Strap Orly in a chair at Orly’s office (ala ce3)

  9. avatar
    LW September 19, 2012 at 2:47 am #

    keuwwwwww…

    (It’s still Tuesday here)

  10. avatar
    Slartibartfast September 19, 2012 at 3:26 am #

    “Tie him to his words and let them drown him”

  11. avatar
    Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter September 19, 2012 at 5:08 am #

    Steal his IPad and his wallet
    Steal his Ipad and his wallet
    Steal his Ipad and his wallet
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Use it to make a threat at the White House
    Use it to make a threat at the White House
    Use it to make a threat at the White House
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Use his card to buy some ammo
    Use his card to buy some ammo
    Use his card to buy some ammo
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Put it all back before he wakes up
    Put it all back before he wakes up
    Put it all back before he wakes up
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Video tape the Secret Service
    Video tape the Secret Service
    Video tape the Secret Service
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Sit back and watch while it goes viral
    Sit back and watch while it goes viral
    Sit back and watch while it goes viral
    Ear-li in the morning!

    One less birther on Internet
    Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  12. avatar
    Majority Will September 19, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    foreigner:
    am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

    ignorieren die Narren

  13. avatar
    The Magic M September 19, 2012 at 8:23 am #

    foreigner: am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

    Nothing beats a double negative. Oder meintest du das ironisch? 😉

  14. avatar
    roadburner September 19, 2012 at 9:10 am #

    beat him round the head with a book by vattel

  15. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG September 19, 2012 at 9:26 am #

    Well, if it’s talk like a pirate day, I need to fill up on rum.

  16. avatar
    misha September 19, 2012 at 10:18 am #

    foreigner: am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

    Hak mir nit in kopf!

  17. avatar
    RuhRoh September 19, 2012 at 10:56 am #

    Ask if he believes in the lunar landing,
    Why he still doesn’t comprehend standing,
    What do courts mean by remanding,
    Early in the mornin’

  18. avatar
    Paul Pieniezny September 19, 2012 at 11:22 am #

    Tie him to a swift boat till he wakes up

  19. avatar
    Jim September 19, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    On a slow boat through China

  20. avatar
    Bill DuBerger September 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    (2nd verse)
    Slap him in the face with a holy mackerel
    Slap him in the face with a holy mackerel
    Slap him in the face with a holy mackerel
    Orly will be mourning…

  21. avatar
    Jim September 19, 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    Well, I’m no Squeeky, but let me see how this works

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Kansas tossed them on their ear

    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    On a slow boat through China

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Jersey said it’s clear

    They live in a hut with no power
    Live in a hut with no power
    Live in a hut with no power
    Internet no longer theirs

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Georgia said they’re weird

    Herding cattle with no shoes
    Herding cattle with no shoes
    Herding cattle with no shoes
    They stepped in their case again

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Indiana tossed them on their rear

    Dysentery is in their blood
    Dysentery is in their blood
    Dysentery is in their blood
    No toilet or TP to be found

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Florida sent them off with bad cheer

    No ac or running water
    No ac or running water
    No ac or running water
    They will live in misery

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Mississippi is their fear

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Obama will be President next year!

  22. avatar
    The Magic M September 20, 2012 at 5:11 am #

    This reminds me how we sang a spoof German version of the song back in school.
    For example “hooray and up she rises” was changed to the phonetically equal “Hure auf Abschiedsreise” (“whore on her farewell tour”). 😉