Which came first: the chicken or the Zullo?

FLASH: Zullo deposition delayed until October 23. Subpoena response due October 16.

The deposition of Mike Zullo is scheduled to be taken tomorrow in the case of Melendres v. Arpaio. The deposition isn’t a matter of public record, so we won’t know what he said until one of the parties enters it into the record. In addition, Zullo was subpoenaed to deliver documents and emails regarding MCSO investigations of judges, elected officials, and their families starting September 1, 2013. That documentation was to be delivered yesterday, October 5.1

There are many unanswered questions about the Cold Case Posse investigation into Barack Obama’s birth certificate, and in the absence of hard facts, we are left with the unsatisfying option of speculation. Because the Melendres case is not about Obama’s birth certificate, we can expect only limited light to be shed by the testimony of Cold Case Posse commander Mike Zullo.

The key question for the current round of hearings in Melendres is whether Sheriff Joe Arpaio intentionally disobeyed a court order, and is in criminal contempt of court. The “Seattle Operation,” which involved the reputed con man Dennis Montgomery, is one aspect of Sheriff Arpaio’s behavior of interest to the Court. Mike Zullo was present in meetings between Arpaio and Montgomery’s business associate Tim Blixseth. Zullo also was present in Seattle while Montgomery was on the Sheriff’s Office’s confidential informant payroll, and sent various emails regarding Montgomery’s non-delivery of information, or delivery of useless information. One question that I hope will get answered when Zullo is deposed, and later testifies, is whether the Montgomery affair started with the birth certificate investigation and expanded into a conspiracy theory involving alleged CIA hacking of bank accounts and later one about Judge Snow and the Department of Justice, or whether the birth certificate investigation sprang from the others. Here are bits from the time line2 (and if readers would like to submit additions, please comment):

  • September 1, 2013 – Starting point of Zullo subpoena
  • September 13, 2013 – Zullo interview by Carl Gallups: Gallups says, “the birth certificate thing – which is huge – is kind of the tip of the iceberg. Apparently, this thing gets really dark and really deep… Zullo says: “And I think … a lot of this focus on the certificate is being done for the purpose of using this as a focal point to keep attention drawn to that certificate so everything else could just go by.”
  • October, 2013 – Arpaio, Zullo, Mackiewicz and Blixseth met
  • October, 2013 – “My sources — one of whom is a former detective with the MCSO’s Special Investigations Division and is well-acquainted with SID and those in it — say Anglin and Mackiewicz were involved in an odd investigation dating back to October 2013.” Stephen Lemons, Phoenix New Times
  • November 5, 2013 – Dennis Montgomery faxes his “DOJ / ARPAIO” time line to Arpaio.
  • November 6, 2013 – Arpaio receives call from “JC” saying Arpaio’s phone is being monitored and types note on back of Montgomery fax mentioning Judge Snow.
  • November 8, 2013 – Carl Gallups cites Zullo and hints about a new “deep dark turn” in the investigation. Sharon Rondeau cites Gallups: “Zullo announced that he has discovered, with paper documentation, ‘universe-shattering new information’ in the investigation. Gallups stated that ‘mountains of evidence’ have been found which have changed the direction of the probe.”
  • November 22, 2013 – Gallups Tweets using the infamous words “universe shattering.”
  • End of November, 2013 – Sheriff’s Office starts paying Dennis Montgomery
  • June 20, 2014: Dennis Montgomery (under the pseudonym David Webb) wrote to Zullo: “ANGLIN told me to stop work on the BC day one, He told me never to trust Mike Zullo. I was told directly by Anglin not to pass information to Mike Zullo. I was not allowed to discuss with Mike zullo what I am being told to do or not to do.”
  • November 2014 – Former NSA analysts hired by Arpaio report (according to Phoenix New Times) “We have found that [Montgomery] is a complete and total fraud.”
  • December 3, 2013 – Meeting with Arizona Attorney General
  • December 6, 2013 – Dennis Montgomery receives confidential informant number from MCSO
  • April 9, 2015 – Email from Mike Zullo to Dennis Montgomery and Larry Klayman (cc: Brian Mackiewicz): “ On my end of this you were compensated $10,000 from a charitable organization  for a service and software that I have yet to receive in any worthwhile or usable  configuration. I will not allow this organization to be victimized. This matter is going to  have to be resolved very soon. “
  • April 16, 2015 – Email from Mike Zullo to Dennis Montgomery, Larry Klayman (representing Montgomery) and Brian Mackiewicz: “Per our phone conversation , I need to know Dennis’s intentions on moving forward on a  timely basis and honor his agreement with us and set a hard date to complete the paid  work on the BC as he agreed to perform. This work has nothing to do with the other  issues he is dealing with and as of last month he was one week away from completion.  That week as others came and went. Open ended e mails of promises of continued efforts  simple are no longer reliable given the history. Please let me know of his intentions to  provide a completion date in the very near future.”
  • April 20, 2015 – Email from Zullo to Klayman: “This is now my second request asking for a date set for the completion of the work Dennis  Montgomery has been promising for over 16 months.. Mr. Montgomery’s behavior and  lack of performance flies in the face of his numerous promises pledging to complete the  work.. This is especially concerning given the face that Mr. Montgomery needs validation  like a drowning man needs oxygen. His behavior simply erodes whatever thread of  credibility he may have left. In fact as of this date, our experience dealing with Mr.  Montgomery mirrors what has been written about him.. It is apparent to us that this is just  a game of running the clock in the hope Montgomery can position himself as a “Whistle  Blower” with some jurisdiction and with your help get out from under his obligation to  the us. In our opinion Montgomery does not qualify under Federal Whistle Blower  protections. A risky game….”

I find the most interesting bit from the email exchanges is what Montgomery wrote: “ANGLIN told me to stop work on the BC day one” that implies that Montgomery was previously working on the birth certificate on “day one” (whatever that is). If “day one” refers to when Montgomery went onto the MCSO CI payroll, then Montgomery was working for Zullo directly prior to November of 2013. The Phoenix New Times suggests that Anglin and Mackiewicz were involved in the investigation in October. This is partly in line with what Lawrence Sellin told Peter Boyles on September 12, 2014:

Let me preface that by saying  Mike Zullo is in charge of the Cold Case Posse investigation into Barack Obama’s, in particular the birth certificate, the things around the birth certificate, and it’s basically a one man operation. Now I talked to Zullo a few weeks ago on the telephone and he indicated that Arpaio was gonna shut down the investigation last Autumn, but this whistleblower walked into Arpaio’s office basically and had information about how the — now this is what I was told; I’m not part of the investigation (unintelligible). What I’ve learned is that this whistleblower had information about, you know, how the birth certificate was produced, who might have done it, where it was done, and even pointed the finger towards CIA director John Brennan. … I think  Brennan is a bad guy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s involved in this, all the shenanigans around birth certificate.

That unconfirmed comment puts the birth certification first as well. If Montgomery were working on the birth certificate investigation before the “Seattle Operation” started, then there should be some emails subject to subpoena between Zullo and Montgomery in the period September 1, 2013 and the October meeting with Blixseth.


1I wanted to verify that the subpoena was still in force (as there was a motion to quash). The docket contains an entry titled “Order on Motion to Quash” and its description states that the motion was denied in part and granted in part; however, the full entry doesn’t say which parts were denied and which granted. I also found that a subpoena had been served commanding deposition and trial testimony by Brian Mackiewicz yesterday.

2Thanks to Tes at WYE for some of the time line information.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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107 Responses to Which came first: the chicken or the Zullo?

  1. roadburner says:

    it would be SOOO entertaining if zullo decided to throw arpaio under the bus

    the exploding heads in birferstan would be epic!

    unlikely, but we can dream…….

    😉

  2. alg says:

    My prediction is that Zullo won’t have to intentionally throw Arpaio under the bus because the Plaintiff’s attorneys are prepared to rip him a new orifice. I fully expect Zullo to be in deposition for a full four hours and made into a muttering fool before it’s all over.

    I do expect, though, at some point Arpaio will throw Zullo under the bus to protect his own orifice.

  3. Pete says:

    Arpaio throwing Zullo under the bus seems likely to me.

    Your timeline begins two full years after Arpaio’s office was approached about investigating Obama’s birth certificate.

  4. HistorianDude says:

    Zullo is simply too far down the rabbit hole to ever deliberately throw Arpaio under the bus,

    1. Zullo failed at being a Demerest NJ Cop. He failed at being a PI. After years in dad’s car business Arpaio gave him a badge, a squad car, a position, and for better-or-worse long months as a hero to a segment of the conservative fringe. Zullo believes Arpaio is God. Perhaps more accurately, Arpaio is an abusive spouse to whom Zullo returns again and again because he thinks no one else loves him.

    2. Zullo almost certainly still believes that Arpaio is a victim of the imaginary plot cooked up by Montgomery, because, well… DARPA. For Zullo to give up on Montgomery regarding the Snow plot means that Zullo would have to give up on Montgomery regarding all the connections he provided between Obots and the Xerox workflow and DARPA and the White House. And that means he still doesn’t know who RC is.

  5. Jim says:

    Pete:
    Arpaio throwing Zullo under the bus seems likely to me.

    Hopefully while wearing a dress and ruby red slippers.

  6. Keith says:

    It seems to me that Arpaio already threw Zullo under the bus, or at least told him to go out and play in the street, when he had Anglin to tell Monty to ignore him.

  7. Curious George says:

    According to my notes, Zulos (sic) is scheduled for testimony in court on October 8, 9, 13, 14 and possibly later in the month. I look forward to see him going in as sirloin steak and coming out as ground round hamburger. Ohhh the humanity!

  8. Pete says:

    Jim: Hopefully while wearing a dress and ruby red slippers.

    Any slippers will do. They’ll be ruby red when the bus has passed anyway.

  9. Rickey says:

    I would be interested in knowing if Montgomery ever produced ANYTHING in regard to the birth certificate. It sounds as if he didn’t, if it is true that Travis Anglin told Montgomery “on day one” that he was not to work on the birth certificate.

  10. Keith says:

    By the way, I just wanted to point out that your timeline is the first time I’ve actually been able to make heads or tails of the sequence of events.

    I made no effort to put it together myself of course, but I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate it.

  11. You’re welcome. I assembled the timeline mainly from comments and articles here, but I used additional material from Tesebria’s Timeline at What’s Your Evidence.

    http://tesibria.typepad.com/wye/2015/06/2013.html

    Reality Check also has a timeline at:

    http://rcradioblog.wordpress.com/mcso-cold-case-posse-timeline/

    And finally there is Tes’ timeline of Montgomery Litigation here:

    http://tesibria.typepad.com/sectecastronomy/

    These three links are found under the Resources tab up top.

    Keith: I made no effort to put it together myself of course, but I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate it.

  12. There were 5 docket entries in the Melendres case today:

    – Notice of Appearance/Association of Counsel: Alexandra Mujares Nash on behalf of Brian Machiewicx
    – Sealed Lodged Proposed Document
    – Motion to Seal Document: State of Arizona requests that its reply to an Inquiry be sealed
    – Notice: Notice of Special Appearance for State of Arizona by Aggrieved and Irreparably Injured Class of United States and Phoenix Citizens
    – Telephone conference: MINUTE ENTRY for proceedings held before Judge G Murray Snow: Telephone Conference held on 10/6/2015. Mr. Zullo has until 10/16/2015 to respond to the subpoena as narrowed by plaintiffs. Defendants will immediately provide to Plaintiffs all documents that are not subject to review for attorney-client or other privilege. They shall, as they conduct privilege review, provide all non-privilege or redacted documents on a rolling basis. Defendant shall complete their privilege review and provide all other parties with all responsive documents and a complete privilege log by 10/20/2015. Mr. Zullo’s deposition shall then proceed on 10/23/2015.

  13. It’s been delayed.

    See update to article.

    Curious George: According to my notes, Zulos (sic) is scheduled for testimony in court on October 8, 9, 13, 14 and possibly later in the month.

  14. RanTalbott says:

    Jim: Hopefully while wearing a dress and ruby red slippers.

    I think Arpaio might have trouble getting him under the bus after the plaintiffs’ lawyers drop a house on him.

    Dr. Conspiracy: Defendants will immediately provide to Plaintiffs all documents that are not subject to review for attorney-client or other privilege. They shall, as they conduct privilege review, provide all non-privilege or redacted documents on a rolling basis.

    So, does this mean that all those documents will promptly show up in the public record like the emails did? Or will the plaintiffs’ lawyers sift through them and decide what goes in and what doesn’t?

  15. chancery says:

    Who is listed as counsel for the “Aggrieved and Irreparably Injured Class of United States and Phoenix Citizens’?

  16. Pete says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: It’s been delayed.

    Mikey wasn’t able to get a flight to Venezuela until the 21st?

  17. gorefan says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: Mr. Zullo has until 10/16/2015 to respond to the subpoena as narrowed by plaintiffs.

    So Zullo has documents that may contain attorney/client privileged material. Interesting.

  18. chancery:
    Who is listed as counsel for the “Aggrieved and Irreparably Injured Class of United States and Phoenix Citizens’?

    The assistant atty. general of AZ.

  19. No. This just determines what the Plaintiffs get. There were probably thousands of emails before, and only 4 of them were entered into the record that I know about.

    RanTalbott: So, does this mean that all those documents will promptly show up in the public record like the emails did? Or will the plaintiffs’ lawyers sift through them and decide what goes in and what doesn’t?

  20. Zullo could have been copied on an email from Arpaio to his attorney– maybe something to do with Montgomery immunity.

    gorefan: So Zullo has documents that may contain attorney/client privileged material.Interesting.

  21. chancery says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: The assistant atty. general of AZ.

    Ah, my mistake. I had assumed that it was LK or a fellow traveler whipping up a little political theater of the absurd.

    Still curious to know whose side AZ is taking.

  22. It’s sealed. 😉

    Basically there was an inquiry to the AG about some investigation, and the AG replied along with a request that it be sealed because it had confidential information in it. I presume that “aggrieved and Irreparably Injured Class” is just a stock phrase which in this case refers to whoever is named in the AG response.

    chancery: Still curious to know whose side AZ is taking.

  23. chancery says:

    Thanks Doc, that all makes sense.

  24. gorefan says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Zullo could have been copied on an email from Arpaio to his attorney– maybe something to do with Montgomery immunity.

    If Arpaio shared it with Zullo wouldn’t that end the A/C privilege?

  25. Lupin says:

    I’m surprised our brilliant resident criminal attorney “john” hasn’t yet advised Zullo to relocate immediately to Paraguay and start a new life under the alias of Miguel Zullo de la Sopa de Gambas y la Cuente-Porfavor.

  26. bovril says:

    gorefan: So Zullo has documents that may contain attorney/client privileged material.Interesting.

    IANAL….however reading the ruling it MAY be that Zullo et-Al whined to the judge that they haz all this stuff which may have privilege so we want lots and lots of time to go over everything then when we have finished everything hand some stuff over.

    Snow, not wanting, quite understandably, to give some open ended commitment said, no worries, fork over the stuff you know isn’t privileged and keep on working on the rest and finish it by….X date

  27. Well…

    It’s an interesting question. In the hypothetical, let’s say that Zullo was copied on an internal MCSO email that included MCSO counsel. The federal courts recognize that attorney-client privilege extends to independent contractors who are the “functional equivalent” of employees. Case law is not well developed in the definition of “functional equivalent,” but I feel that a good faith argument could be made that Zullo is one. It is reported that Zullo is/was in precarious financial straits, and it doesn’t make sense that he would have spent all that time in Seattle without compensation. (IANAL)

    See:

    https://www.venable.com/files/Publication/00019982-098e-4ffa-ad3c-baed85645091/Presentation/PublicationAttachment/5ed4b69e-f398-4777-867a-c1b860f790b2/Attorney_Client_Privilege_Protections_for_Non_Employees_Criteria_for_the_Functional_E.pdf

    gorefan: If Arpaio shared it with Zullo wouldn’t that end the A/C privilege?

  28. gorefan says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: attorney-client privilege extends to independent contractors

    IIRC, Sheridan testified that he authorized travel expenses for Zullo but nothing was said about additional compensation.

    In all the testimony, Zullo is always referred to as the head of the CCP. Isn’t that a voluntary position? There would have needed to be a change in his status for him.

    When Zullo and Brian Reilly went to Seattle in 2012, I don’t think they were compensated other than for expenses.

    I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

  29. IIRC, Zullo said on the Gallups show that he hadn’t been home but 2-3 days over a period of months. The guy has to make a living somehow. I suppose he could have carried his 4 monitors along and done day trading while in Seattle. Was the $10,000 Arpaio gave the CCP for Zullo’s expenses? I don’t think so, since the MCSO paid those. Of course if CCP money went into Zullo’s pocket, that’s an IRS violation.

    There are some odd things going on here. First, it was Arpaio’s counsel that moved to quash the Zullo subpoena on the grounds of it being a burden to Zullo. The petition didn’t come from Zullo himself. That alone is unusual if there is not some kind of an functional employee relationship. The second point is that Zullo will not be turning over material to the Plaintiffs as requested in the subpoena, but rather to the Defense, who will in turn pass it to the Plaintiffs. That again seems odd. It might be that there has already been some discussion during the telephonic conference yesterday where the subpoena dates were reset. It will take a transcript to resolve that one.

    So far I’ve not seen any notice of the appearance of an attorney for Zullo.

    The Cold Case Posse is neither fish nor fowl.

    gorefan: IIRC, Sheridan testified that he authorized travel expenses for Zullo but nothing was said about additional compensation.

  30. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    Well, if Zullo took john’s previous advice, then he’s sprayed himself with skunk juice for no reason! 😉

  31. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/glimmers-of-real-sheriff-joe-arpaio-penetrate-his-public-mask-in-court-7721885

    Arpaio back on the stand Thursday.

    I’ll make sure to have the popcorn seasoning prepared.

  32. Keith says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: The Cold Case Posse is neither fish nor fowl.

    Of course not.

    It is fishy and foul.

  33. Jim says:

    I thought Arpaio was back on the stand tomorrow (Thursday). From the article…

    “My heart sank when I saw Earl’s name,” Mary Rose told me after court was adjourned until October 8, when the sheriff is scheduled to again take the stand.

  34. Sorry, I meant Thursday, October 8, 2015.

    Jim: I thought Arpaio was back on the stand tomorrow (Thursday). From the article…

  35. roadburner says:

    ok, when things start getting sticky(er) for shurf joke, anyone care to vote of if he pulls a Pinochet or fakes a heart attack?

    he loves to be dramatic, so my money is on heart attack

  36. CarlOrcas says:

    HistorianDude: 1. Zullo failed at being a Demerest NJ Cop. He failed at being a PI. After years in dad’s car business Arpaio gave him a badge, a squad car, a position, and for better-or-worse long months as a hero to a segment of the conservative fringe.

    Excellent take on what Zullo got out of this charade psychically. More interesting to me is what else did he get? How did he pay his bills?

    The key to that is, of course, the Cold Case Posse’s finances. My question is will the plaintiff’s lawyers try to get into that during his deposition? Can they?

  37. CarlOrcas says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: Mr. Zullo’s deposition shall then proceed on 10/23/2015.

    Correct me if I’m wrong but so far there has not been anything filed indicating who Mr. Zullo’s attorney is.

  38. CarlOrcas says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: It is reported that Zullo is/was in precarious financial straits, and it doesn’t make sense that he would have spent all that time in Seattle without compensation. (IANAL)

    Bingo!

    Now the question is…..where did the “compensation” come from?

  39. Pete says:

    CarlOrcas: Zullo failed at being a Demerest NJ Cop. He failed at being a PI. After years in dad’s car business Arpaio gave him a badge, a squad car, a position, and for better-or-worse long months as a hero to a segment of the conservative fringe.

    To be fair, I don’t know that we necessarily know that he failed at being a cop and a PI. He may have simply decided there were better opportunities in the car business.

    Of course, returning to a law-enforcement-imitating role with the CCP is a point in favor of his having previously failed at the cop and PI roles.

    And even if he did fail as a cop and a PI, there’s definitely something to be said for going out there and failing at something and taking your lumps and moving on from there.

    So from my point of view, any past failures aren’t as much of an issue as the ongoing klown-kar disaster that has been the Kold Kase Posse BS “investigation” literally from day one.

  40. CarlOrcas says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: The Cold Case Posse is neither fish nor fowl.

    If you dig around I think you will find statements from Arpaio saying the posses are independent operations and not part of the SO.

    They are, as we all know, non-profit corporations……kinda like the Girl Scouts.

  41. CarlOrcas says:

    Pete: o be fair, I don’t know that we necessarily know that he failed at being a cop and a PI. He may have simply decided there were better opportunities in the car business.

    I don’t disagree but, for the record, the quote back was from HistorianDude in my message responding to his message.

  42. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    HistorianDude: 1. Zullo failed at being a Demerest NJ Cop. He failed at being a PI.

    And I’d say he’s long failed as a human being as well.

  43. A phrase you’re unlikely to read at BR.

    Pete: To be fair

  44. Pete says:

    CarlOrcas: I don’t disagree but, for the record, the quote back was from HistorianDude in my message responding to his message.

    Right. I did copy it from your response.

  45. Pete says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: A phrase you’re unlikely to read at BR.

    Yes, quite abundantly true.

  46. Curious George says:

    Carl Orcas,
    “The Cold Case Posse is neither fish nor fowl.”

    It all depends on what best suits Joe. One day it can be a fish, the next day fowl.

  47. Pete says:

    September 13, 2013 – Zullo interview by Carl Gallups: Gallups says, “the birth certificate thing – which is huge – is kind of the tip of the iceberg. Apparently, this thing gets really dark and really deep… Zullo says: “And I think … a lot of this focus on the certificate is being done for the purpose of using this as a focal point to keep attention drawn to that certificate so everything else could just go by.”

    What a stupid comment by Zullo, since he was the one focusing on the birth certificate.

  48. Good questions. Especially, the second one. (Or, third. I’m not going to mess with it :0)….). Who is Zullo’s attorney?

    gorefan: If Arpaio shared it withZullo wouldn’t that end the A/C privilege?

    gorefan: If Arpaio shared it withZullo wouldn’t that end the A/C privilege?

    CarlOrcas: Correct me if I’m wrong but so far there has not been anything filed indicating who Mr. Zullo’s attorney is.

  49. HistorianDude says:

    Pete: To be fair, I don’t know that we necessarily know that he failed at being a cop and a PI. He may have simply decided there were better opportunities in the car business.

    Point taken… but… (Wild speculation alert!).

    My confidence that the original experience did not end well derives from:

    1. The puffery with which Zullo was originally caught describing the experiences. He claimed in one interview (for example) that:

    I worked as a detective in Bergen County, N.J. for five years. Keep in mind that this was the metropolitan area across the river from New York City out to Newark and Union City, N.J., an area that includes over a million people with 70 police departments, an area that does not have as much street crime as it does mob crime and a high level of white collar crime. I was also involved with major narcotics investigations.

    In actuality, he had been a cop in Demarest, a tiny New Jersey Borough of less than 5,000 people, a police department that actually has no detectives.

    This indicates clearly that he valued the prestige and status associated with the position enough to grossly exaggerate it.

    2. He also exaggerated his experience as a PI, claiming 5 years at a job for which licensing indication shows only 2 years. He later waved it off as “I only worked for myself for two years” but that doesn’t address the discrepancy.

    Now, if he had actually been the equivalent of a “detective” after less than 5 years on the job as a Demarest NJ cop, that would be indicative of a person screaming through the ranks, a superstar, a boy wonder. To suddenly leave the job (and clearly not because he didn’t like the work… he immediately became a PI for god’s sake) hints strongly at an involuntary departure. Whether it be for incompetence or corruption or some other reason, the odds are that “failure” would not be an unlikely label for the event.

    Then of course there was the weird incident in 1984 when some guy tried to impersonate then police officer Zullo. The only article found concerning the event hints at corruption in the Demarest police force… or certainly some strain between them and the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office.

    But then hey… Jersey. Fuggetaboudit!

  50. Curious George says:

    Historian Dude:

    “To suddenly leave the job (and clearly not because he didn’t like the work… he immediately became a PI for god’s sake) hints strongly at an involuntary departure. Whether it be for incompetence or corruption or some other reason, the odds are that “failure” would not be an unlikely label for the event.”

    And with his interest in law enforcement, why did Zulos (sic) only want to become a pretend cop with the sheriff’s posse and work for free? Why not an Arizona POST certified law enforcement officer in the salaried position of an MCSO Deputy Sheriff, or a volunteer MCSO Reserve Deputy? To become a real law enforcement officer with the MCSO, I would speculate that he would have been required to take a polygraph and a psychological exam.

  51. CarlOrcas says:

    HistorianDude: In actuality, he had been a cop in Demarest, a tiny New Jersey Borough of less than 5,000 people, a police department that actually has no detectives.

    As I recall from their website they had more civilian school crossing guards than paid officers.

  52. CarlOrcas says:

    Curious George: And with his interest in law enforcement, why did Zulos (sic) only want to become a pretend cop with the sheriff’s posse and work for free? Why not an Arizona POST certified law enforcement officer in the salaried position of an MCSO Deputy Sheriff, or a volunteer MCSO Reserve Deputy? To become a real law enforcement officer with the MCSO, I would speculate that he would have been required to take a polygraph and a psychological exam.

    Good questions all!

    And, of course, don’t forget that if he were a real cop he couldn’t own his own “posse”.

  53. Jim says:

    Lemons is tweeting again…top earliest

    Snow questions Arpaio receiving Montgomery flow chart of bogus conspiracy. Purports 2show Snow ordered taps on Joe’s phone

    Arpaio said he discussed flowchart, timeline with Sheridan. But claimed he was “shocked” &didnt give it much credibility

    Arpaio didn’t give Montgomery’s conspiracy docs much cred? Hilarious. Snow shldve asked Joe why he paid Montgomery >$120K

    Snow also asked what Arpaio did to comply with April order to turn over all Montgomery investigation documents

    Arpaio says he didn’t write memo,nor recalls speaking w/anyone about complying w/Snow’s April order. Hethought they all knew

    Arpaio said he may have spoken to Sheridan &”lawyers” specifically Iafrate. Joe: “I thought they all knew about that order”

    At time of Snows order, MCSO had 50 harddrives frm Montgomery notturned over per Snows order. In July,seized byMarshals

    Arpaio was aware MCSO had possession of 50 HDs frm Montgomery. They were filed under “found property” by Mackiewicz. 2hide.

    BTW, I’m told Mackiewicz did not invoke 5th during his deposition. But this is unconfirmed.Ifcorrect Imay have2donate kidney (Me: Anybody in need of a kidney?)

    Arpaio cld not recall if Klayman was his attorney when Klayman represented Montgomery be4frmr FISA ct judge Royce Lamberth

    Stuff about 50 hard drives not turned over to snow shows willful contempt (read “criminal”) on the part of Arpaio

  54. Jim says:

    In previous questioning by attorneys this morning Arpaio said he discussed turning over aliens 2border patrol

    Arpaios claimSOwas reallyinvest.identity theft is cover story/plausible deniability. Or in this case implausible deniability

  55. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    Mmm Goood. Goooood. Rake that racist old piece of jerky over the coals….

  56. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    If nothing else comes out of this trial, at least Shurfjoke’s public image as a tough guy has been completely laid to waste. He keeps acting like a feeble codger on the stand. A far cry from Mr. “Look at me! I’m a tough guy! I’m mean, and point slightly off camera, trying to look all bad ass! Vote for me!” Any one who wants to challenge him for this next election just needs to go “Look how feeble and tired he is! You good people need a sheriff who doesn’t get winded from merely answering a few questions.”

  57. Zullo’s attorney is Larry Klayman, but Klayman is not admitted to the bar in Arizona, and his pro hac vice application has not been accepted.,

    Nancy R Owens: Who is Zullo’s attorney?

  58. Pete says:

    Historian Dude:

    You have made an excellent case for your belief that Mike Zullo failed as a cop and as as PI. And it may well be that you are correct. I salute you. 🙂

    So I’m not sure there’s really too much more to say about that, unless we were able to get Zullo himself on here to defend his own record.

    But I hear he’s busy of late.

  59. Pete says:

    Jim: Stuff about 50 hard drives not turned over to snow shows willful contempt (read “criminal”) on the part of Arpaio

    I’m afraid I would have to agree.

    Not only were they not turned over, they were hidden under “found property.”

    Wow.

  60. bob says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Zullo’s attorney is Larry Klayman, but Klayman is not admitted to the bar in Arizona, and his pro hac vice application has not been accepted.,

    In what proceeedings is Klayman representing Zullo?

  61. Bonsall Obot says:

    HistorianDude:
    In actuality, he had been a cop in Demarest, a tiny New Jersey Borough of less than 5,000 people, a police department that actually has no detectives.

    Don’t you get it, man?? He could see the Mafia from his house!

  62. Arpaio wrote to Larry Klayman, April 29, 2015

    Your email indicates that you represent Mike Zullo and Dennis Montgomery. That would, and does, create a conflict here in Arizona….

    Klayman replied:

    I just wanted to coordinate my representation of Montgomery and Zullo with [Michelle Iafrate]. But she did not return my calls and this is frankly not professional and not in yours or anyone’s best interests. We should work together for the common good.

    See: https://www.scribd.com/doc/272883041/Melendres-1198-D-ariz-2-07-Cv-02513-1198-P-Opp-to-Klayman-PHV-w-Exhibits

    bob: In what proceeedings is Klayman representing Zullo?

  63. bob says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Arpaio wrote to Larry Klayman, April 29, 2015

    Thanks; April seemed so long ago in this saga.

  64. Rickey says:

    HistorianDude:

    Now, if he had actually been the equivalent of a “detective” after less than 5 years on the job as a Demarest NJ cop, that would be indicative of a person screaming through the ranks, a superstar, a boy wonder. To suddenly leave the job (and clearly not because he didn’t like the work… he immediately became a PI for god’s sake) hints strongly at an involuntary departure. Whether it be for incompetence or corruption or some other reason, the odds are that “failure” would not be an unlikely label for the event.

    I filed a Freedom of Information request with the Borough of Demarest regarding Zullo’s employment. They responded that they no longer have any records of him (he was there more than 20 years ago) and that they have no current employees who were there when Zullo was a cop. The person who responded to my request said that she believes that Zullo resigned because his family was moving to Arizona. His family lived in Tenafly, New Jersey, which is a couple of miles south of Demarest.

    I wonder if Arpaio will be asked why he assigned a volunteer with such limited experience to an investigation as sensitive as one supposedly involving wiretaps of high profile people.

  65. Rickey says:

    Bonsall Obot: Don’t you get it, man?? He could see the Mafia from his house!

    Maybe he lived next door to Tony Soprano! I found this about the crime rate in Demarest:

    The crime data reveals that the overall Demarest, NJ crime rates are 71% lower than in comparison to the New Jersey mean and are 79% lower than the nation’s mean. In regards to violent offenses, Demarest, NJ has a rate that is 93% lower than the New Jersey average; compared to the United States, it is 94% lower than. Looking at crimes involving property, Demarest, NJ is 68% lower than its state’s mean, and 78% lower than the country’s average.

    http://www.areavibes.com/demarest-nj/crime/

  66. If anything would seem to be a conflict of interest, it would be Klayman representing both Zullo and Montgomery.

    bob: Thanks; April seemed so long ago in this saga.

  67. My best speculation is that Montgomery was previously working with Zullo on the birth certificate, and he was sent along to Seattle because of that prior relationship. Of course Zullo was not alone with Montgomery in Seattle; Anglin and Mackiewicz were also there.

    Rickey: I wonder if Arpaio will be asked why he assigned a volunteer with such limited experience to an investigation as sensitive as one supposedly involving wiretaps of high profile people.

  68. HistorianDude says:

    Rickey: The person who responded to my request said that she believes that Zullo resigned because his family was moving to Arizona.

    Given that Zullo then claims to have stayed in NJ for another 5 years as a PI after resignation from the Demarest Police Force, that doesn’t ring true.

  69. Curious George says:

    HistorianDude

    “Given that Zullo then claims to have stayed in NJ for another 5 years as a PI after resignation from the Demarest Police Force, that doesn’t ring true.”

    He was too busy tracking down a Zulos (sic) impersonator. He didn’t immediately go to Arizona to sell used cars.

  70. Curious George says:

    Who is Zulos(sic) legal counsel? Here’s a clue from Stephen Lemons:

    “Outside the courthouse, I asked Masterson if Jones, Skelton was representing Cold Case Posse commander Mike Zullo civilly, since the defense argued recently that a plaintiffs’ subpoena against Zullo had been too broad.
    Masterson indicated that, yes, Jones, Skelton was representing Zullo, but only in the sense that Zullo, as a volunteer posse-man, was following Arpaio’s direction, and therefore, under the sheriff’s authority.”

  71. Curious George says:

    “Masterson indicated that, yes, Jones, Skelton was representing Zullo, but only in the sense that Zullo, as a volunteer posse-man, was following Arpaio’s direction, and therefore, under the sheriff’s authority.”

    A real law enforcement officer is given his own authority to enforce the law. Zulos (sic) has no authority to do anything regarding law enforcement support unless directed by Sheriff Arpaio under his authority. Zulos (sic) is not an “Arizona Lawman” as claimed by Birther zealots.

  72. RanTalbott says:

    Curious George: I asked Masterson if Jones, Skelton was representing Cold Case Posse commander Mike Zullo civilly

    And he answered “Of course: I’m not some obnoxious (bleep) like Klayman.” 😉

    Curious George: but only in the sense that Zullo, as a volunteer posse-man, was following Arpaio’s direction, and therefore, under the sheriff’s authority

    This could get complicated, since Arpaio and Zullo have both declared the CCP’s independence when it suited them. How do they decide when he was under “Arpaio’s direction”, and when he was operating on behalf of CCP, Inc?

    And, since he was getting paid to go to Seattle, does that mean he was birfering on the County’s dime? Is that the equivalent of having your County secretary stuff envelopes for your campaign?

  73. Pete says:

    Curious George: Zulos

    Actually, Arpaio referred to Zullo as “Milke Zolus,” not “Zulos.” 🙂

    Which is actually funnier, because it’s further from his name.

    In the memo, it looks like he first typed “Milk,” then backspaced and typed an “e” over the “k” in a failed effort to correct it to “Mike.”

    Thanks for the link, that’s a great article.

  74. Pete says:

    By the way, there was no correction of “Zolus,” which says that after at least a year and a half or two of supposedly working together, Arpaio really didn’t know what Mike’s last name was.

    Pretty funny stuff.

  75. Curious George says:

    Don’t forget the nearly $10,000.00 expense that Milk Zulos-Zolus (sic) and Arpaio gave the Maricopa County taxpayers with their little birfing vacation to Hawaii.

    RanTalbott :

    “And, since he was getting paid to go to Seattle, does that mean he was birfering on the County’s dime? Is that the equivalent of having your County secretary stuff envelopes for your campaign?

  76. Northland10 says:

    Rickey: I wonder if Arpaio will be asked why he assigned a volunteer with such limited experience to an investigation as sensitive as one supposedly involving wiretaps of high profile people.

    Now I begin to wonder if Zullo or his daddy were strong finacial supporters of the Sheriff’s various election campaigns or had other dealings with Arpaio that might give him reason to use Zullo.

  77. Curious George says:

    With the same lawyer now representing Zulos-Zolus (sic), Lemons reported the following:

    “Masterson indicated that, yes, Jones, Skelton was representing Zullo, but only in the sense that Zullo, as a volunteer posse-man, was following Arpaio’s direction, and therefore, under the sheriff’s authority.”

    The key words “following Arpaio’s direction.” Arpaio has already taken the position that he knows nothing about Judge Snow being investigated. All Arpaio has to do is claim that Zullo was not following Arpaio’s direction or that Arpaio gave no direction to Zullo to investigate Judge Snow. I see a Zullo sacrifice on the horizon, accompanied by the wheels of one huge Arpaio bus.

  78. Pete says:

    It’s getting interesting.

    Morning break, Sousa still on stand. more “blame the lawyer” stuff. Pointing finger at Casey 4 2011 order not being followed #ArpaioContempt

    Sousa contradicting Caseys testimony that Casey gave MCSO feedback on training scenarios re:following 2012 prelim injunction #ArpaioContempt

    One senses that the bus-pitches are starting in earnest.

    After Sousa, Sgt Anglin shld be up. Anglin has some ordinance to drop on Arpaios ass #ArpaioContempt

    I’m literally gonna go get some popcorn.

  79. Crustacean says:

    Ordinance/ordnance, sit/set, lie/lay… Oh, why must language be so hard?? 🙂

    Pete: Anglin has some ordinance to drop on Arpaios ass

  80. Arthur B. says:

    Big doings at the trial … Anglin has saved text messages from Zullo bragging about how ‘Sheriff “calls me almost every day wanting updates” about Montgomery’

    https://twitter.com/stephenlemons/with_replies

  81. Pete says:

    Well the ordnance (or ordinance, if you prefer) has been falling this afternoon!

  82. Pete says:

    Boom! Boom! Boom!

  83. Pete says:

    Breathtaking. In my opinion.

  84. Curious George says:

    Well, if there were any doubts that this was a plan to concoct a bogus conspiracy to discredit Judge Snow, Anglin is spelling it out, text by text.

    Zulos’ is in deep doo doo with his BFF Joe Arpaio. Still, Arpaio could claim that Zulos was a rogue posse member with a vivid imagination and Arpaio NEVER gave Zulos the authority to execute this crazy plan. (The twin diesels on the Arpaio super coach are warming up.)

  85. Pete says:

    What remains to be seen, is whether Zullo has a commercial driver’s license as well.

  86. Curious George says:

    I hear sounds coming from US District Court today….

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=erMO3m0oLvs

  87. CarlOrcas says:

    Curious George: Zulos’ is in deep doo doo with his BFF Joe Arpaio.

    I’d say they’re both in deep doo doo and it’s getting deeper by the minute.

    Amazing!

  88. Punchmaster via Mobile says:

    This is so good that it has to be fattening!

  89. gorefan says:

    Curious George:
    Well, if there were any doubts that this was a plan to concoct a bogus conspiracy to discredit Judge Snow,Anglin is spelling it out, text by text.

    Maybe I’m missing something but I think this is getting to convoluted. I get the feeling this is going to amount to nothing.

  90. W. Kevin Vicklund says:

    Sounds like Monkeyboy would pull out the BC card whenever they started getting impatient with his stall tactics…

    Stephen Lemons ‏@stephenlemons
    Anglin said Montgomery tried 2entice them with info on Obamas birth certificate. Anglin said he and Mackiewicz wld leave rm #ArpaioContempt

  91. I think there will be a referral for criminal contempt based on the fact that Arapio was doing everything except following Judge Snow’s orders and never took them seriously. I don’t see a case yet for obstruction based on going after Judge Snow.
    .

    gorefan: Maybe I’m missing something but I think this is getting to convoluted.I get the feeling this is going to amount to nothing.

  92. RanTalbott says:

    Reality Check: I don’t see a case yet for obstruction based on going after Judge Snow.

    There’s still more evidence and testimony to come on that matter, though.

    But isn’t there an obstruction charge possible based on the concealment and/or destruction of evidence in the original matter?

  93. gorefan says:

    Reality Check:
    I think there will be a referral for criminal contempt based on the fact that Arapio was doing everything except following Judge Snow’s orders and never took them seriously. I don’t see a case yet for obstruction based on going after Judge Snow.
    .

    Megan Cassidy asked the $64,000 question

    “The question is did Montgomery introduce the Sheriff’s Office to Snow-related documents in a futile attempt to squeeze more funds from the agency? Or were the documents products of an assignment encouraged by the six-term sheriff?”

    http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2015/10/10/joe-arpaio-testimony-undermined-informant-contempt-hearing/73673064/

    I don’t see a clear answer in the reports so far.

    Cassidy also said,

    “The sheriff then went on explain that Zullo actually had solved the Obama birth-certificate case, and that Anglin had no right to criticize him.”

    But I haven’t read that in other reports.

    IMO, the most they shown so far is Arpaio is a gullible old fool and the Seattle Operation will not figure largely in the criminal contempt charges.

  94. Pete says:

    RanTalbott: But isn’t there an obstruction charge possible based on the concealment and/or destruction of evidence in the original matter?

    For me the most important stuff here is the hiding of the hard drives and the IDs. To me that says “willful disobedience” and it seems to me that that would likely be a major basis for referral for criminal contempt (and maybe obstruction of justice?) charges.

    Or, I suppose that doesn’t necessarily show willful disobedience in the original matter. It does appear that they probably have enough evidence to refer on that too, though.

    Comments?

  95. HistorianDude says:

    Reality Check:
    I think there will be a referral for criminal contempt based on the fact that Arapio was doing everything except following Judge Snow’s orders and never took them seriously. I don’t see a case yet for obstruction based on going after Judge Snow.

    Actually, I think it’s now very clear where the obstruction case would come from; the testimony of Mike Zullo.

    I recall that when Lemons first approached the MCSO about assigning “two full time criminal investigators” to continue the investigation into Obama’s BC, the spokesperson quickly changed the story from initially “yes” to “actually no.” The second investigation (he claimed) actually had nothing to do with the birth certificate. This resonates with the picture that emerges from Anglin’s testimony about an “investigation” run by Anglin and Mackiewicz reporting to Sheridan, and another “investigation” run by Zullo reporting to Arpaio. By all appearances, the former was a contrived cover for the latter, and the latter is where the Snow/DOJ/Law Firm “conspiracy” was being cooked up.

    To this point Zullo is largely insulated from any criminal charges. He was a civilian volunteer and is not party to the current contempt hearings. He was not subject to Sheridan’s oversight, or his (Sheridan’s) “Do not investigate Snow” order. I don’t think that anybody see’s him has worthy of pursuit for charges of any kind.

    Unless he now perjures himself.

    The only substantive downside for Zullo (other than the loss of the last few remaining birther fans who idolize him) comes from not telling the truth. Now, certainly I am convinced he is a dumb as salt and his own hero worship of Arpaio might inspire to him to fall on his own small sword. So it is not beyond possibility that in his deposition and on the stand he lies through his teeth.

    But if he does not he is the Rosetta Stone for deciphering the entire MCSO Montgomery debacle. And that is where the obstruction case against Arpiao will be made.

  96. Pete says:

    Based on Arpaio’s abandonment of “we’re all in this together,” it seems to me that Arpaio will throw Mikey under the bus if he needs any traction to get out of the mud.

    It will be interesting to see what comes of Zullo’s testimony.

  97. alg says:

    Reality Check:
    I think there will be a referral for criminal contempt based on the fact that Arapio was doing everything except following Judge Snow’s orders and never took them seriously. I don’t see a case yet for obstruction based on going after Judge Snow.
    .

    I think Anglin’s testimony and the text messages he kept clearly have Sheriff Joe directly involved with the Seattle Operation and working with Zullo on the Snow connection. All that’s required for obstruction of justice in intent. If Arpaio insisted they “find the f*cking money” so Zullo could continue working with Montgomery to develop the Snow connection we have clear intent.

    I agree that Zullo’s deposition is critical to opening the doors to answers about the intent of the Seattle Operation.

    Remember, too, that we are just in the civil contempt proceedings. Should this get referred to criminal prosecution, there will be additional investigation into the true nature of the Seattle Operation.

  98. Pete says:

    alg: All that’s required for obstruction of justice in intent. If Arpaio insisted they “find the f*cking money” so Zullo could continue working with Montgomery to develop the Snow connection we have clear intent.

    = Arpaio, obstruction of justice

  99. The Magic M (not logged in) says:

    Pete: he first typed “Milk,” then backspaced and typed an “e” over the “k” in a failed effort to correct it to “Mike.”

    That pretty much sums up Arpaio’s grasp of reality.

  100. Rickey says:

    HistorianDude: Given that Zullo then claims to have stayed in NJ for another 5 years as a PI after resignation from the Demarest Police Force, that doesn’t ring true.

    In fairness to the officer who wrote to me, she had no first hand information about Zullo. We now know from the 1992 Bergen Record story that Zullo was a Demarest police officer in the eighties and in the story he is described as “a private detective in North Jersey.”

    I’m thinking of trying to track down James Powderley, who apparently was the Demarest Chief of Police when Zullo was there.

  101. Keith says:

    The Magic M (not logged in): That pretty much sums up Arpaio’s grasp of reality.

    Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Arpaio is bat-shirt crazy too, but this kind of remark just sounds like nit-picking from someone who can’t remember what it is like to use a typewriter.

    It has been close to 50 years since I have had to use a typewriter, but I remember fighting with them like it was yesterday. I am not going to snipe at the ‘shurf for typos, after all, how well maintained could that thing be? It probably hasn’t been tuned up for 25 years, the hammers are probably bent and out of alignment, keys sticking and all gummed up from the residue of ribbons that have been re-inked 30 times over. Give him a break.

  102. RanTalbott says:

    HistorianDude: He was a civilian volunteer and is not party to the current contempt hearings.

    Mmmm, no: he was either a contractor or employee of the MCSO (probably the former). Which might, or might not, make him a party to the hearings (that’s a question for the lawyers).

    But that doesn’t matter if the DOJ decides Arpaio’s scheme to gather dirt on snow was “obstruction”, or an attempt to buy stolen classified information: if that happens, Zullo will be up to his ass in federal alligators.

    A while back, I speculated that maybe the “DC contact” was someone who had given A/Z immunity as part of some sting, trying to nail Monty. But nothing that’s come out so far supports that. The new info all seems to support the “nefarious” characterization of what they were doing.

    That puts him very much at risk of being charged.

  103. justlw says:

    Pete: In the memo, it looks like he first typed “Milk,” then backspaced and typed an “e” over the “k” in a failed effort to correct it to “Mike.”

    JOIKE

  104. Benji Franklin says:

    RanTalbott: Zullo will be up to his ass in federal alligators.

    Karl Gall Oops!:”We’re back listeners, with today’s special Tuesday edition of Free Dumb Fridays here on the Pee Pee Summons Rodeo Nutwork! We’ve got CCP lead investigator on the Obama Identity Fraud Case here with us on the phone to give us an update and see if we can get him to give us a millennium-certain date by which we will all get to see what he says he’s known for years. …and there must be A LOT for him to eventually share with us, because, believe me, this guy DOESN’T MISS A TRICK! Do you, Mike?”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:”Huh?”

    Karl Gall Oops!:”Uh, yeah, well let’s get right to it, Mike – I suppose you’ll be focusing on this current courtroom drama ginned up by the obots and this corrupt judge, ‘Sleet’, is is it ‘Sleet’ or ‘Slush’ – Judge Slush- is it?”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:”Nah, it’s nothing. Forget about it. I might not even go.”

    Karl Gall Oops!: “But Mike, our listeners are worried that this Snow-Job hearing may land you in prison. Even more importantly, with the smoking-gun wherewithal to imprison Obummer IMMEDIATELY seemingly in your pocket for several years, and only prevented, you say, by a single ‘legal hurdle’ which you can’t seem to overcome, they REALLY want to know, what is a ‘legal hurdle’?”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:” “Well, just like I do with a dollar bill, or an S&H Green Stamp, I could tell just from biting it, that that White House posting wasn’t no birth certificate, cause it wasn’t paper, okay? Same with his SEE-lective SERVICE card too! So there you go, right there, ‘FORGERY’! And we proved it a thousand ways, we got him dead to rights, committing the crime of the CENTURY!”

    Karl Gall Oops!: “And, let’s say just HALF of one of our listeners asks why the Usurper was not arrested and officially charged with that crime of the century? …or… even jay-walkin, Mike?”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:”Well, we had a legal hurdle we couldn’t quite clear, that tied our hands. I tell you, Karl, it just about makes me sick.”

    Karl Gall Oops!: “And…and remind me Mike, this leeeeeeeegal hurdle, was it just a technicality, ?”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:”Yep! A technicality – and nothing to do with the case really. Turned out ,our evidence wasn’t sufficient because Obammer and his commie-pinko yeller-peril minions hadn’t done anything illegal. Our County attorney said he couldn’t convict anybody of anything on what we had. So naturally, I asks Our Pie Hole, – I says- ‘Well, now what the ding-dang –Hell are we gonna do? I mean, are we just gonna sit back and let this black bastard commit NO crime, AND GET AWAY WITH IT?”

    Karl Gall Oops!: “ NOW you’re preachin’! Go ON! Go ON! TAKE us there! I SWEAR!”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:“Well, Karl, Our Pie Hole says, ‘Hell, Mike, when I can’t get the county attorney to ignore the law, I start whining about it to Bat Poone and, shoooot! -he can’t solve nuthin’ but you’ll pick up a few grand just for askin’him, see? An…an…an then Our Pie says, he’d next take the matter to Mazey Reeder, old gal who used to beat the tar out of him when he stole stuff out of her garden as a kid, see? Then he ‘members she’s up and died here, not so long ago, so he says, Mike, I’m just a sheriff – with Mazey gone, we got no legal options here – nothing that makes any sense to anybody who knows the law – no crime, NOT REALLY! But maybe we could keep these donations coming in if we took it to Congress to investergate. Like they done to Hill Airy Us Been Gollys he-mails. We could say they’re obliged to investigate this S.O.B. too and …an…an…thin ‘cuse ‘em of treason when they don’t!”

    Karl Gall Oops!: “Yes! Praise God – now we’re getting CONSTITOOOOOOOOO—SHUN ALL – AM I RIGHT? Now we’re wading in it! We’re wading around the edges trying to make dark water, am I right, Mike Zoo Low?”

    Universe-shattering Commander Mike Zoo Low:”Well, I couldn’t rightly hear what you just said, Karl, but YES. We need to imprison, and if you can find some vague enough unsupportive quotations from the scriptures , hopefully torture this usurper. That’s pretty much as Constitutional as I can get. You know, it’s no crime to commit a crime in what you can claim is defense of what a good ole’ boy like me says he thinks that document OR even just The Good Book means. And THAT RIGHT THERE is part of what me and my lucky nickel calls yer Bill of Extree Rights, WHICH IS REAL, or sure ort to be.”

    Karl Gall Oops!: “Well, you’ve certainly told us what a ‘legal hurdle’ is, so just confirm that the current Obama-damning evidence is still the new Universe-shattering evidence that replaced ALL of the evidence you had presented at Sea Pack a year before, proving that the BC was … IS… a forgery. Am I right, Obamas gonna have to be wearin’ deep dark waders to escape your trap this time, – have I got that right, Mike? Some of our listeners are worryin’, AND NEEDLESSLY should I say, worryin’ that information coming out in this Our Pie Hole contempt hearing, makes it look like the Universe-shattering evidence never materialized – that’s just poppycock, am I right, Mike?”

    Inartful Dodger Mike Zoo Low:”Look, we’re WAY past complaining about the birth certificate and even further past that Universe-shuttering phase, and we are now on to looking at a whole new way of nailing this Usurper’s you-know-what to the wall. Forget the Universe – we’re lookin’ at something MUCH BIGGER! We’re WAY AHEAD of the game now, cause we’re starting from scratch! An…an…and THIS time, by God we’re going back into court, but with close to a million witnesses who can testify that Obama NEVER HAD A BIRTH CERTIFICATE in Hawaii!”

    Karl Gall Oops!: Oh, let’s give God all the praise, but you’ve got to tell us more! Who are these witnesses, Mike Zoo Low? Are any of them Rabbis who have lost enough of their faith so I could write a best-selling book about them?”

    Putative CIA Agent Mike Zoo Low:” Well, Karl, you know that I’m a tireless investigator. An…and for the bargain price of $500,000, last week Mounty, my informant, came through for me and, this is something BRAND NEW, he located a waffle-blower in Honolulu, a guy by the name of Tim Adams, had something to do with their elections, and now he’s saying, – and get this, Karl, he’s saying, EVERYBODY IN Honolulu knew that Obama never had a birth certificate in Hawaii. Well, who is ‘everybody’? SHEEEEET! Why, basically, it’s everybody listed in the phone book for Honolulu County – close to 980 thousand people! Am I an investigator OR WHAT?

    An…an…and I’ve found, get this Karl, a hotdam DENTIST in California, who’s this crack lawyer, see? An’ she says she can show me how to get all 980 thousand of them witnesses into a courtroom with one Goddam subpoena! Well, like Bat Poone says, I’m a smart-as-a-whip, top-flight investigator so I’m thinkin’ she must write REAL tiny or sumpin”, you know, to get them all on one peony is all I can figure, you know? ”

    Karl Gall Oops!: Praise God! WOW! WOW! Oh, Mike! Coming out of NOWHERE! This is ALL NEW! This is a smoking-block-gun-buster! This vindicates every wrong prediction we’ve ever made! This TRULY nails this God-forsaken pretender to the cross, which listeners, by the way, can order a likeness of from our giftshop! THIS IS MIRACULOUS! This is the hand of the devine …. No, wait a minute! Did you say, ‘Tim Adams ‘? ”

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