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Homoerotic fetishism at Birther Report

“this thread needs more gay pictures”

When I saw the preceding comment this morning at Birther Report, I took it as coming from a troll, and while that may be true, Birther Report comments in general are known for their fascination with homoerotic imagery and excretory function. Not being gay myself, nor particularly interested in the details of gay sexual expression, a lot of what they talk about, directed at me, goes over my head.

I did, of course, understand the term, “Dr. Colostomy,” but I was completely mystified at why they kept mentioning gerbils in comments directed to me, at least until this morning when I looked it up.

image

I’m also called “Dr. Crunt” a lot, and one of the definitions of that word is a male genital reference. These guys live in a totally different world with a totally different vocabulary and knowledge base than mine, and frankly I am disgusted by their language.

What triggered this article, however, was what followed in the thread from the comment highlighted above, and that was a series of photos of me, or photos in which my face had been added, the most ambitious of which was this one from “Barry Soetoro, ESQ”:

The image from which this was altered, is one of Michelle Obama, and appeared widely on right-wing web sites as “proof” that she is really a transsexual man (named Michael). That image originated from Michelle Obama’s appearance as a speaker at the 2008 Democratic convention [video of the speech]. However, looking at the entire video, the alleged “object” bulging between the legs does not appear to be actually there and the video frame (if that’s what it is) itself may have been “enhanced.” I have never been able to find an original media source for that image of Michelle Obama.

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75 Responses to Homoerotic fetishism at Birther Report

  1. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG July 9, 2014 at 9:33 am #

    In addition to being a failure at everything else in life, Birthers use Photoshop, the way 10 year olds use MSPaint.

  2. avatar
    Lupin July 9, 2014 at 9:41 am #

    Reading BR is like watching monkey play with feces.

    Not only do they wallow and take pride in their massive ignorance — and any outside comment aiming at interjecting a fact, even a minor correction, will be immediately deleted by the webmaster — but they all whip each other into some kind of apocalyptic frenzy over ridiculous conspiracy theories, e.g.: Michelle Obama being a man, school shootings being a UN plot, etc, etc.

    A large number of them seem clinically insane. Frankly, it is impossible to imagine how these folks go about a normal everyday’s life.

  3. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 9:45 am #

    I usually consider myself fairly knowledgeable in vulgar slang, but I had no idea that “crunt” was a word that actually referred to something.

  4. avatar
    JPotter July 9, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    Lupin: A large number of them seem clinically insane. Frankly, it is impossible to imagine how these folks go about a normal everyday’s life.

    Simple, Lupin, and frightening: they fit right in with the populace at large. This kind of nuttery is dirt common here.

  5. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    Lupin: A large number of them seem clinically insane. Frankly, it is impossible to imagine how these folks go about a normal everyday’s life.

    You can thank pensions, disability, and social security checks for the continued existence of most birthers.

  6. avatar
    Bob July 9, 2014 at 10:19 am #

    For a long time I used to look at a small Conservative site called Polipundit and every comment by one of the regulars had some sort of anal/fecal reference. I assumed he was a parody troll but that turned out not to be the case. It was pointed out to him, repeatedly, that EVERY comment he made contained an anal reference but he couldn’t help himself — it was definitely a form of OCD. He still does it on other sites — he can’t stop.

    The website scrubbed all of it’s archives up to a certain point after another one of the regulars started making death threats against “RINOs.”

    I find the Sandy Hook “false flag” crap at BR truly repulsive.

  7. avatar
    The Magic M July 9, 2014 at 10:37 am #

    Bob: it was definitely a form of OCD

    Or a form of Tourette’s.

    One of my best friends has Tourette’s Syndrome (and runs Germany’s biggest site on the issue) and he doesn’t use 1/10th of the anal/gay/feces language the typical BR poster spews.
    He has found amusing ways to deal with his illness, e.g. following up every tic to yell “yahooooo” with “dot com”.
    He also owns the most death-proof keyboard I’ve ever seen (custom-made for him), and I imagine birthers probably could use one, too, as they likely destroy them by the dozen in fits of rage whenever Obama appears on their screen.

    Bob: I find the Sandy Hook “false flag” crap at BR truly repulsive.

    Indeed. They could’ve settled for “the shooter was a government agent”, but no, they had to tell the victims’ parents “your children aren’t really dead”… *smh*

  8. avatar
    The Magic M July 9, 2014 at 10:42 am #

    Arthur: I usually consider myself fairly knowledgeable in vulgar slang, but I had no idea that “crunt” was a word that actually referred to something.

    I just looked it up the other day, I assumed it was just a generic insult like “jerk”.

  9. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    Bob: I find the Sandy Hook “false flag” crap at BR truly repulsive.

    I agree. It’s one thing to mock your opponent; it’s another thing to belittle the suffering of innocent children by claiming their deaths never happened. That kind of callousness and political extremism is also found in those retrogrades who deny the Holocaust.

  10. avatar
    CarlOrcas July 9, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    JPotter: Simple, Lupin, and frightening: they fit right in with the populace at large. This kind of nuttery is dirt common here.

    Maybe I need to get out more but I’d have to disagree (respectfully, of course).

    This kind of stuff has been around for as long as I recall (1960′s) and no doubt before but it just didn’t show up in everyone’s living room every couple nanoseconds like it does now courtesy of an unbridled Internet.

    The sickos who wallow and revel in it are despicable but they are, as they always have been, and hopefully always will be few and far between.

  11. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 10:53 am #

    The Magic M: I assumed it was just a generic insult like “jerk”.

    I had assumed it was birdboy’s attempt to call our host, a c*nt.

  12. avatar
    Bonsall Obot July 9, 2014 at 10:55 am #

    “These guys live in a totally different world with a totally different vocabulary and knowledge base than mine”

    Because they’re not actually communicating meaningful information; they are merely trading shibboleths. You’re not meant to understand

  13. avatar
    Lupin July 9, 2014 at 10:57 am #

    CarlOrcas: This kind of stuff has been around for as long as I recall (1960′s) and no doubt before but it just didn’t show up in everyone’s living room every couple nanoseconds like it does now courtesy of the Internet.

    I can believe this. As some of you know I;m a great fan of William Manchester’s GLORY & DREAM and some anecdotes he recounts of the opposition to FDR was just as vile and loathsome, but of course less easily accessible.

    That said, it says something about American society — I’m not sure what, but it does. I’m not unfamiliar with French lunatics, skinheads, National Fronters and various opponents to the regime, but I have never EVER saw as much clinically deranged, obsessional and delusional stuff as I see everyday on BR.

    That it was just the same in the 1930s and 1960s is hardly a consoling factor.

  14. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 11:01 am #

    CarlOrcas: The sickos who wallow and revel in it are despicable but they are, as they always have been, and hopefully always will be few and far between.

    In any respect, during the past several months, B.R. has become increasingly clogged with grotesquerie. At one time, I visited the site frequently to take in britherism crazy political carnival. But then that carnival became a freak show. It now resembles some weird sex club. I’ve stopped visiting . . . it’s just too distasteful.

  15. avatar
    Lupin July 9, 2014 at 11:02 am #

    Arthur: It’s one thing to mock your opponent; it’s another thing to belittle the suffering of innocent children by claiming their deaths never happened. That kind of callousness and political extremism is also found in those retrogrades who deny the Holocaust.

    I could not agree more. The Sandy Hook stuff is insane on so many levels that I’ve lost count. They can’t even seem to grasp that their perceived threat (seizing guns by force) is unreal, or that the alleged scheme would be a totally harebrained one that wouldn’t stand scrutiny for a second.

    I mean, as a plot for a conspiracy thriller or movie, it would be laughed out in a matter of seconds.

    They also exhibit the total absence of empathy with the parents & victims that characterizes serial killers. These BR posters are true sociopaths that would be themselves capable of committing any crime given half a chance.

  16. avatar
    CarlOrcas July 9, 2014 at 11:31 am #

    Lupin: I can believe this. As some of you know I;m a great fan of William Manchester’s GLORY & DREAM and some anecdotes he recounts of the opposition to FDR was just as vile and loathsome, but of course less easily accessible.

    It goes back much further……check out Lincoln’s opposition. It was particularly nasty. There were several other President’s whose parentage was questioned. I don’t think this very human failing is unique to Americans.

    You would, of course, think we had evolved as a society by now to get past this stuff……but apparently not.

  17. avatar
    CarlOrcas July 9, 2014 at 11:33 am #

    Arthur: At one time, I visited the site frequently to take in britherism crazy political carnival. But then that carnival became a freak show. It now resembles some weird sex club. I’ve stopped visiting . . . it’s just too distasteful.

    Same here. I looked this morning and now I need a shower….a long, hot shower.

  18. avatar
    The European July 9, 2014 at 12:42 pm #

    CarlOrcas: It goes back much further……check out Lincoln’s opposition. It was particularly nasty. There were several other President’s whose parentage was questioned. I don’t think this very human failing is unique to Americans.

    You would, of course, think we had evolved as a society by now to get past this stuff……but apparently not.

    Carl, of course this human “failing” is not unique to your country. Unique is the fact that – in my eyes – a catastrophic interpretation of the “free speech clause” allows lunatics to utter just any insult in the marketplace and on the internet.

    It does never come to an end or a border – it´s a competition between lunatics. I´m sure that by 10 years from now you will see and read things even much more disgusting.

    Because this thread is somehow about sex I can show you an example of how borders are always pushed further and further:

    In porn videos – available for every kid for free on the internet – 10 years ago you saw lesbian sex involving cunnilingus. Today it must be anilingus. (I do not give links).

  19. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 9, 2014 at 1:16 pm #

    My motivation in writing this article may be completely misguided. My intention was to publicize the issue and to shame the operator of BR into taking some responsibility for cleaning up the cesspool he created. He may, however, be completely comfortable with his sleazy commenters.

  20. avatar
    Curious George July 9, 2014 at 1:28 pm #

    BR, a cesspool pretty well sums it up.

  21. avatar
    Rickey July 9, 2014 at 1:36 pm #

    Arthur:
    I usually consider myself fairly knowledgeable in vulgar slang, but I had no idea that “crunt” was a word that actually referred to something.

    I was in the Navy, and while our language tended to be pretty salty I never heard the word “crunt” before.

  22. avatar
    Rickey July 9, 2014 at 1:41 pm #

    Arthur: I agree. It’s one thing to mock your opponent; it’s another thing to belittle the suffering of innocent children by claiming their deaths never happened. That kind of callousness and political extremism is also found in those retrogrades who deny the Holocaust.

    One of the teachers who was killed was the daughter of my hometown dentist. The good news is that the family most likely knows nothing about what is posted at Birther Report.

  23. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 1:41 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy: He may, however, be completely comfortable with his sleazy commenters.

    In birtherstan, sleazy pays the bills.

  24. avatar
    mimi July 9, 2014 at 1:41 pm #

    Sorry, Doc. But you can’t shame a birther into anything.

    I don’t really get the obsession they have with Homo-erotica. But Gabe Zolna has dozens and dozens of videos dealing with his belief (or maybe he’s just smearing and doesn’t truly believe) that Barack Obama is gay and Michelle Obama is a transvestite. Yes, he refers to Michelle as ‘Michael’. His obsession with the subject leads a person to wonder about Gabe’s own issues with sexuality. :/

  25. avatar
    Rickey July 9, 2014 at 1:42 pm #

    I’m not a doctor, but my father was. Wouldn’t a sex change operation remove the bulge?

  26. avatar
    OllieOxenFree July 9, 2014 at 1:45 pm #

    Birther Report consists of ten percent Falcon and his faithful followers, ten percent of a few random posters who cry for revolution and someone to “do something,” and the other eighty percent or so is random postings of photoshopped images by a handful of people and congratulatory responses to those photos.

    This is what the front-line of the birther movement has been reduced to.

    I stopped visiting the page long ago. It’s like pointing and laughing at a train wreck. They have made themselves so irrelevant by their own irrational and childish behavior.

  27. avatar
    Arthur July 9, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

    Rickey: One of the teachers who was killed was the daughter of my hometown dentist. The good news is that the family most likely knows nothing about what is posted at Birther Report.

    And I hope no one ever tells them about it. Let this obscenity remain within the warped world that created it.

  28. avatar
    Andrew Morris July 9, 2014 at 2:00 pm #

    Who was it who said that Taitz looks like Zsa-Zsa Gabor in drag?

  29. avatar
    Jim July 9, 2014 at 2:13 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    My motivation in writing this article may be completely misguided. My intention was to publicize the issue and to shame the operator of BR into taking some responsibility for cleaning up the cesspool he created. He may, however, be completely comfortable with his sleazy commenters.

    Contact the Southern Poverty Law Center and have them declared a hate site, that’ll teach them! :lol:

  30. avatar
    CarlOrcas July 9, 2014 at 2:39 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    My motivation in writing this article may be completely misguided. My intention was to publicize the issue and to shame the operator of BR into taking some responsibility for cleaning up the cesspool he created. He may, however, be completely comfortable with his sleazy commenters.

    The problem, Doc, is that you bring a basic sense of decency, right and wrong, to the process which is why you are surprised when others can wallow in that stuff with such glee. They have no sense of decency.

  31. avatar
    gorefan July 9, 2014 at 2:44 pm #

    While it is common to think of Birthers as racists, it may in fact be more accurate to think of them as closeted.

    “Those participants who reported their heterosexuality despite having hidden same-sex desires were also the most likely to show hostility toward gay individuals, including self-reported anti-gay attitudes, endorsement of anti-gay policies and discrimination such as supporting harsher punishments for homosexuals.”

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/homophobes-might-be-hidden-homosexuals/

    Barry, Scott, Falcon and Fathertime among others could probably use a little self reflection.

  32. avatar
    Bob July 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm #

    I have no real evidence but based on some of their very similar writing styles and same obsessions I get the feeling that some of the regular commenters on BR have adopted more than one persona. Or perhaps they are the owner trying to plump up the comments. There’s one in particular that I believe is just another old Birther living vicariously through his young-man-on-the-go Birther character.

  33. avatar
    Thinker July 9, 2014 at 3:53 pm #

    I think the Birther Report owner should just get rid of the comment section. Few of the comments have anything to do with the article on which they are posted. They’re mostly about other conspiracy theories and about obots, with an unhealthy dose of violent fantasies and homoeroticism thrown in.

    Seriously sick people.

  34. avatar
    Barry Soetoro, ESQ July 9, 2014 at 4:14 pm #

    Bob:
    I have no real evidence but based on some of their very similar writing styles and same obsessions I get the feeling that some of the regular commenters on BR have adopted more than one persona.Or perhaps they are the owner trying to plump up the comments.There’s one in particular that I believe is just another old Birther living vicariously through his young-man-on-the-go Birther character.

    Would you care to elaborate? Which commenters?

  35. avatar
    Yoda July 9, 2014 at 4:30 pm #

    I have found that teabillies, birthers and rwnjs generally have an obsession with homosexuals and gay sex. One the one hand they believe that calling someone gay is the worst imaginable insult. Of course, that is only true to people believe as they do.

    To be sure, several of them are closeted (they know way too much about gay sexual practices to be “just homophobes”). I consider myself to be fairly up on things (I knew the gerbil reference) but did not know the count reference. They know far more than I do about the subject.

  36. avatar
    Curious George July 9, 2014 at 4:37 pm #

    Thinker:
    I think the Birther Report owner should just get rid of the comment section. Few of the comments have anything to do with the article on which they are posted. They’re mostly about other conspiracy theories and about obots, with an unhealthy dose of violent fantasies and homoeroticism thrown in.

    Seriously sick people.

    It would probably be a good idea to get rid of the articles as well, since they seldom match the glaring headlines.

  37. avatar
    JPotter July 9, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

    Thinker: I think the Birther Report owner should just get rid of the comment section.

    The comment section is the point of the site. The owner is providing a forum on which to host modern Two-Minutes’ Hates, usually thrice daily. The articles are provided merely to give The Faithful an excuse to get going.

  38. avatar
    Notorial Dissent July 9, 2014 at 4:57 pm #

    They keep saying the internet is your friend. There are times when I really seriously question that.

    I have to agree with Andrew and his comment about birfers and Paintshop, simply pathetic.

    Lupin, I think you are assuming facts not in evidence that “these folks go about a normal everyday’s life”, I personally see little likelihood of it. My personal suspicion is that most of them are as bad or worse in person than they are on the web. The phrase “Get a Life” has no meaning for most of them since it is an entirely foreign concept. Their life revolves around their shallowness of person and bitterness of soul. I cannot imagine, or at least don’t want to, what brought them to this pass, and quite honestly don’t really want to either. My feeling is that for most if not all of them if they didn’t have their bitterness and hatred, they would have nothing at all, as they have obviously intentionally limited themselves against any other form of outside interest. I’m actually impressed that most of them can use a computer, but then again these days they generally come completely set up and mostly ready to go if someone can follow simple directions so that is how I expect they manage it. If you haven’t guessed, I’m not at all in a charitable mood today.

    Arthur, there are many things to which I would very much like to remain blissfully and totally ignorant, and what goes on in what passes for a birfer’s mind is at the very top of the list.

    Bob, I guess one of the things about this crowd that has always puzzled me is the ease with which they will swallow and give absolute credence and belief to a complicated and convoluted conspiracy theory, and yet they cannot and will not accept the simple fact that some people are just plain bad and/or crazy, and do really bad things all on their own.

    I would very much wish I could disagree with CarlOrcas in this, but the plain fact of the matter is that there has ALWAYS been, and will always be, a small, nasty minded minority of individuals who make this sort of thing their life work and their raison d’être as far back as the founding of the nation. I can’t say that I remember, but I could be very wrong, Washington ever really being the kind of target some/most of his successors were, but a very great many of them certainly were treated to much if not far worse treatment than the current incumbent is enjoying. The truth is, and statistics should bear this out, that the greater majority of the population really doesn’t care and aren’t interested in what they are saying or doing, and in fact are paying them scant if any attention. It seems, at times, like there are a large number of them since there is a vast population from which to draw their insignificant and inconsequential percentage. The birfers exist as a major reality, only in their fever deluded minds. Doesn’t however mean I don’t want to go scrub my brain and eyes after having com in contact with some of their effluent.

    Doc, while I applaud your motive, and in fact understand it, in all honesty, I think you are wasting your time, effort, and figurative breath. BR is not about responsibility or reason to begin with, so that is just simply a losing start, and from what I have seen of it, and its owner’s actions, neither is he in fact. I actually suspect he gets off on it just as much as some of the fellow wallowers over there do, and in many ways he supports and encourages it. The only thing he is really concerned with is them following the party line, according to him, and more importantly keeping that money coming in.

    gorefan, you may well be right about Barry, Scott, Falcon and Fathertime, et al, as that certainly does fit that particular paradigm, but considering some of their comments I’ve read, and the general tenor of them, as well as their general reported actions, I am also seriously considering them as cases of severely arrested behavior. They remind me all too much of a particular period in high school that some boys go through, who are seriously, really, and solely heterosexual, where that sort of behavior becomes very common for a time. My take is that they never got past that particular stage of development, since they never really developed or personally grew as it were, since you can tell by their other altitudes and general lack of accomplishment otherwise, that they are permanently stuck in that particular stupid adolescent mode, and will remain there the rest of their lives. Actually I would bet that self reflection is the absolute last thing any of that crowd would want to do for the possibility of what they might see. I say this, based on personal experience with people I knew, eons ago, in high school, who still are stuck in that mode, and I don’t want to be around them any more now than I did then, and I think this is more likely the case here based on the general lack of personal growth of the birfer model in general.

  39. avatar
    roadburner July 9, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

    and my e.p.lovejoy sign in gets banned there again!

    oh the irony!

    seems that tearing them off a strip for picking on the president´s kids (again) wasn´t too bad, but telling the new darling of the moment – william – that he hasn´t got a clue about the full faith and credit clause has gone down like a lead baloon.

  40. avatar
    BillTheCat July 9, 2014 at 5:48 pm #

    Andrew Vrba, PmG: In addition to being a failure at everything else in life, Birthers use Photoshop, the way 10 year olds use MSPaint.

    That’s all “Barry Soetoro, ESQ” does. He makes terribad photoshop pics, and posts them all over BR as his “argument”, a site maybe 15 people pay attention to other than us folks who loves watching us some train wrecks.

    He couldn’t even get respect on 4chan with that nonsense, let alone in the adult world the rest of us live in.

  41. avatar
    Suranis July 9, 2014 at 6:11 pm #

    You might find this interesting, especially you Doc. It’s a guy examining the comment sections of Newspapers in Arizona, and who concludes they are hate crime scenes. Worth a read at least.

    http://www.alternet.org/media/how-comment-sections-online-newspapers-have-turned-hate-crime-scenes

  42. avatar
    Upgradedd July 9, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

    Suranis: You might find this interesting,

    I certainly did find it so. The Birffers are of the same mind set.

  43. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG July 9, 2014 at 7:58 pm #

    BillTheCat: That’s all “Barry Soetoro, ESQ” does. He makes terribad photoshop pics, and posts them all over BR as his “argument”, a site maybe 15 people pay attention to other than us folks who loves watching us some train wrecks.

    He couldn’t even get respect on 4chan with that nonsense, let alone in the adult world the rest of us live in.

    I can believe that. 4chan maybe torrent of stupid, and home to some of the most warped minds on the internet, but even they have some standards!

  44. avatar
    Georgetown JD July 9, 2014 at 8:39 pm #

    Doc, a straw cowboy hat is much too casual to pair with a business day dress. If you don’t understand the fashion rules you could end up wearing white after Labor Day.

  45. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 9, 2014 at 9:53 pm #

    Not to worry. That image was Photoshopped by a birther. The original has less formal attire:

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/DocGotGuns.jpg

    BTW, for a bit of nostalgia, try running this query at images.google.com:

    site:obamaconspiracy.org

    Georgetown JD: Doc, a straw cowboy hat is much too casual to pair with a business day dress. If you don’t understand the fashion rules you could end up wearing white after Labor Day.

  46. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy July 9, 2014 at 9:56 pm #

    I’m not very practiced with Photoimpact, the program I use, but I did come up with one I remember you liked:

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/MadOrly.jpg

    and this one was a particular favorite:

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2-dollar-coin_CNN.png

    Andrew Vrba, PmG: In addition to being a failure at everything else in life, Birthers use Photoshop, the way 10 year olds use MSPaint.

  47. avatar
    Andrew Vrba, PmG July 9, 2014 at 11:10 pm #

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    I’m not very practiced with Photoimpact, the program I use, but I did come up with one I remember you liked:

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/MadOrly.jpg

    and this one was a particular favorite:

    http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/2-dollar-coin_CNN.png

    A classic! If anyone deserves to be on the cover of MAD it’s her.

  48. avatar
    Canadian Friend July 10, 2014 at 1:27 am #

    I went over to birther report and feel terribly sorry for all you intelligent and good natured people to have to deal with such scum. Those people need their right to procreate to be revoked. They are the perfect stereotype of the dumb American that people around the world have come to hate.

    One of the idiots over there said in regards to a picture of Obama’s daughters that one of them had, and I quote “her moms mustache” ………. This, after stating that Michelle was born a man……. I guess someone failed biology.

    Thankfully, this website is proof that there are lots of great Americans who still represent the values that the USA has been built on.

    I still can’t believe the hate that can be spewed.

    Cheers from Canada!

  49. avatar
    Lupin July 10, 2014 at 2:55 am #

    A bit of good news: liberal site Daily Kos celebrated this month its 1,000,000th registered user.

    BR: have they reached 50?

  50. avatar
    CarlOrcas July 10, 2014 at 4:09 am #

    Lupin:
    A bit of good news: liberal site Daily Kos celebrated this month its 1,000,000th registered user.

    BR: have they reached 50?

    It depends on how you count the users with multiple personality disorder.

  51. avatar
    The Magic M July 10, 2014 at 4:18 am #

    Andrew Vrba, PmG: If anyone deserves to be on the cover of MAD it’s her.

    Why? She isn’t funny.

  52. avatar
    Curious George July 10, 2014 at 9:56 am #

    Why did they have to ruin that great Hitchcock film, North By Northwest? But Doc, you do look awesome in a suit. :-)

  53. avatar
    Thinker (mobile) July 10, 2014 at 6:22 pm #

    I wonder if this article will cause either the posters or the moderator at Birther Report to temper the homoerotic comments.

  54. avatar
    justlw July 10, 2014 at 8:11 pm #

    I note that Dr. Eowyn is on the case. She delivers an additional compelling proof point: Obama calls Michelle “Michael” all the time.

    Well, once.

    Dr. E is mystified that the White House even left it in the transcript of the video she found!

    It’s a particularly telling moment, because Obama chooses to call his wife “Michael” right smack in the middle of addressing the honoree, Admiral Mullen, and his family:

    Most of all, Admiral Mullen, Deborah, Michael, and I also want to also acknowledge your son Jack, who’s deployed today. All of you have performed extraordinary service to our country.

    …even though the First Lady was not, in fact, actually at this event.

    And on top of that, he forgot to mention Admiral Mullen’s own son Michael, who was there! Try as I might, I just cannot come up with any sort of simple and obvious explanation for this blatant gaffe!

  55. avatar
    The Magic M July 11, 2014 at 5:46 am #

    Thinker (mobile): I wonder if this article will cause either the posters or the moderator at Birther Report to temper the homoerotic comments.

    Maybe they’ll at least reflect on the curious fact that only 50% of their postings are about Obama and the other 50% are about the good Doc. They should rename themselves “Birther Dr Conspiracy Report”. ;)

  56. avatar
    Thomas Brown July 11, 2014 at 9:04 am #

    justlw: I note that Dr. Eowyn is on the case.

    I always thought that was a typo, and it was actually Dr. Etaoin Shrdlu.

  57. avatar
    Lupin July 15, 2014 at 6:10 am #

    Another best-selling, anthology-worthy post from the notorious Birdman of Alcatraz at BR:

    —-

    I’ve come to realize that Barry is right when he says that there are communists in this country connected to worldwide ped-O-philia ring and getting free cures for deadly diseases. There’s no doubt in my mind that is occurring. There’s a secret dossier on every person in this country that has risen above dog-catcher. It seems like the X-Files kind of stuff. But I have no doubt it’s true.

    I used to think that the connections to international events broadcast in films / movies was a scam – but came to realize that was no coincidence either. Like the Simpson’s version where the twin towers are prominently displayed. A few weeks ago I watching one of the older Transformers’ movies and lo-and-behold – Diego Garcia. No shit. How many times have you even heard the name “Diego Garcia” in your lifetime? Two now for me. Transformers and the missing Malaysian flight 370.

    Super secret military installations are just that – Super Secret. They aren’t broadcast all over the info/entertainment sphere.

    No doubt the Malthusians are in the final stretches of their long planned New World Order. They own the legal system, the political system, the entertainment venues, the educational system, the banking system and literally every other sector. I can’t think of one thing that they have not turned inside out. That got me thinking – you need alot of money to pull this off – even if it is just paper money with no intrinsic value. That’s where Stim-U-Loss and TARP come in. I haven’t seen one appreciable change since the creation of that scam was engineered.

    They create a phony banking collapse and almost collapsed the world. Anyone who is afraid we’re going back to the stone-age says to do something. It’s the perfect scam to transfer more than ten trillion dollars from the producers to the elites and not one thing was ever corrected to prevent them from doing it again. That’s how you know it’s all an engineered scam. This money was used to buy off most everyone who would pose a challenge to the Hussein Regime. That’s why you see so damn little action against him and his treasonous acts. Anyone else would have been hung in the town square for these crimes. So, when I say this country is on a path to explosion you better believe it. I don’t know when – but the groundwork has been laid by the Regime itself. People are only going to take so much bullshit and a revolt is going to occur. Its’ happened time and time again and it’s going to happen again. The idiot convention is finally awakening to the crime in D.C..

    Boehner is the most egregious, in my opinion. Followed by McConnell. They are currently on a “fixed election” routine to keep them in power and to keep the lid on the volatile mixture bubbling beneath the surface. Toss in McCain (everyone should know this) and you have the makings of the biggest scam in the history of the world.

    I know the truth is going to be exposed in it’s own time and in it’s own way. That’s why I keep the faith that when this thing blows it’s going to make the end of the world seem that much closer. And at the same time – there might be hope once again for humanity once these immoral dregs are punished to the fullest extent of the law and in some cases, outside the law.

    Alcatraz is, of course, where he should reside.

  58. avatar
    Bonsall Obot July 15, 2014 at 7:51 am #

    Remarkable that he’s figured it all out, yet the NWO let’s him move about freely and post their nefarious schemes in public. It’s almost as if he has no idea what he’s talking about.

  59. avatar
    Lupin July 15, 2014 at 7:54 am #

    Bonsall Obot:
    Remarkable that he’s figured it all out, yet the NWO let’s him move about freely and post their nefarious schemes in public. It’s almost as if he has no idea what he’s talking about.

    Obviously we mere humans cannot comprehend the full mutant genius that is Birdman.

  60. avatar
    The Magic M July 15, 2014 at 8:06 am #

    Bonsall Obot: It’s almost as if he has no idea what he’s talking about.

    Or if he disappeared, the public would instantly know he was right (because if he was wrong, nobody would bother eliminating him), so our Beloved Alien Overlords let him drone on because that way it will seem he is wrong. Now my head hurts. ;)

    Lupin (quoting Das Bird): and getting free cures for deadly diseases

    I haven’t seen that claim much. Is that related to the anti-Semitic conspiracy theory that Jews with cancer get the “real” cure whereas all others get chemotherapy that kills them? Haven’t heard that one since German quack doctor Ryke Geerd Hamer (of “New Germanic Medicine” infamy) dropped off the news cycle.

  61. avatar
    bovril July 15, 2014 at 8:21 am #

    Oh they usually throw in AIDS. “Morgellins Disease”, immunity to the “Chemtrails” and such like.

    Usually the same *uckers who say all the Joooooos or lately all the Mooooooslems were warned not to go to the Twin Towers on 9/11 or that the planes were in facts holographic projections covering up missiles etc……

  62. avatar
    Lupin July 15, 2014 at 9:05 am #

    If I could post on BR., I’d like to ask Birdman if Obama is that iron-fisted Muslim Commienazi preparing to usher in the NWO, or that limp-wristed ineffectual gay failure incapable of doing anything right. Because it can’t be both, can it? Or am I missing something?

  63. avatar
    The Magic M July 15, 2014 at 11:26 am #

    Lupin: Because it can’t be both, can it?

    Birthers were the first to discover macroscopic superposition: how a person indeed *can* be both – until ousted from office, at which point the superposition of states will collapse to one of the two. ;)

  64. avatar
    Arthur July 15, 2014 at 11:49 am #

    Lupin: If I could post on BR., I’d like to ask Birdman if Obama is that iron-fisted Muslim Commienazi preparing to usher in the NWO, or that limp-wristed ineffectual gay failure incapable of doing anything right. Because it can’t be both, can it? Or am I missing something?

    Sadly, you ARE missing something. While effeminate European physicists were finding evidence of the Higgs boson, manly American patriots were putting the finishing touches on quantum birtherism. The math is probably above your head, but in layman’s terms, quantum birtherism predicts that Obama, as the birthers’ ultimate symbol of evil, can take any signifier, regardless of contradiction, depending on what they’ve had for breakfast and who’s shouting the loudest.

  65. avatar
    Lupin July 15, 2014 at 11:52 am #

    Arthur: Sadly, you ARE missing something. While effeminate European physicists werefinding evidence of the Higgs boson, manly American patriots were putting the finishing touches on quantum birtherism. The math is probably above your head, but in layman’s terms, quantum birtherism predicts that Obama, as the birthers’ ultimate symbol of evil, can take any signifier, regardless of contradiction, depending on what they’ve had for breakfast and who’s shouting the loudest.

    I surrender to your superior knowledge of quantum birtherism; I’ve tried to apply it to the immigration issue (see top thread) and empirically, it seems to work. Another great triumph for American science. Hurray.

  66. avatar
    Arthur July 15, 2014 at 2:35 pm #

    Lupin: I surrender to your superior knowledge of quantum birtherism; I’ve tried to apply it to the immigration issue (see top thread) and empirically, it seems to work.

    Well, I have to admit that quantum birtherism, though American by design, owes a great deal of its philosophical framework to an obscure German theorist named Goebbels, who in the 1930s and ’40s was an eloquent advocate for mechanisms that applied multiple, contradictory terms of abuse to single subjects. However, we Americans, due to our proud chauvinism and short memories, are loath to allow any connection between present day right-wing politics and the innovations of an earlier age.

  67. avatar
    The Magic M July 16, 2014 at 4:37 am #

    Arthur: The math is probably above your head, but in layman’s terms, quantum birtherism predicts that

    Its core foundation is of course quantum conspiracy theory (QCT) which, in its main theorems, states that:

    (1) Whenever a claim is checked, it is immediately replaced with something even more lunatic.

    (2) Whenever proof of the opposite is found, it immediately changes its quantum state to “lie” or “fabricated”, two of the elementary conspiracy spin states (the others being “false flag”, “diversion” and “Illuminati”).

    (3) There is enough dark matter and dark energy to power the NWO indefinitely.

    And while birthers were busy hunting the Taitz boson (also called the “Obama defeat particle”) using the LIC (large idiocy collider) at CERAO (Conseil Enfoiré* pour la Recherche Anti-Obama), Democrats have successfully taken over reality at the quantum level, ensuring victory at all future elections by cranking up the level of crazyton particles in conservative politicians.

    ___________
    * Apologies to Lupin ;)

  68. avatar
    Lupin July 16, 2014 at 5:39 am #

    Empirically, the truth of quantum birtherism is demonstrated every day — and I do mean every day.

    For example, this new top post at BR July 16) ends with:

    “However, no definition of “natural born citizen” – terminology only used in the presidential requirement clause – was provided anywhere in the Constitution. To this day, the precise meaning of the term is still being debated.

    There are no records of any definitive discussion on the matter during the Constitutional Convention. That – coupled with the absence of definitive Supreme Court rulings and a wide array of opinions throughout the centuries – has only further confused the question of what “natural born” actually means.

    Still, according to some of the most authoritative sources, including the framers of the Constitution as well as Supreme Court rulings, Obama does not meet the eligibility requirements.

    [emphasis mine]

    See how reality collapses in the last paragraph as soon as the birther observes it.

    It is truly fascinating and no doubt bears the same value as e^i pi + 1.

  69. avatar
    Lupin July 16, 2014 at 5:40 am #

    The Magic M: CERAO (Conseil Enfoiré* pour la Recherche Anti-Obama),

    We’re doing serious scientific work here, show some respect, young man.
    :-)

  70. avatar
    The Magic M July 16, 2014 at 10:35 am #

    Lupin: It is truly fascinating and no doubt bears the same value as e^i pi + 1.

    Quantum physics are all fun and giggles, but leave mathematics out of it. ;) (Birthers being irrational and irrationals being dense in the real world, there’s just too many parallels.)

    Lupin: We’re doing serious scientific work here, show some respect, young man.

    I will when birthers discover the Vattelino, the only particle that can change the eligibility of another particle. So far, SCOTUS (Supersymmetric Crazy Orly Taitz Unreality Scanner) has not been able to detect it.

  71. avatar
    Rickey July 16, 2014 at 10:49 am #

    Arthur: Well, I have to admit that quantum birtherism, though American by design, owes a great deal of its philosophical framework to an obscure German theorist named Goebbels, who in the 1930s and ’40s was an eloquent advocate for mechanisms that applied multiple, contradictory terms of abuse to single subjects. However, we Americans, due to our proud chauvinism and short memories, are loath to allow any connection between present day right-wing politics and the innovations of an earlier age.

    Yes, but that does not prevent the right wing from making a connection between Obama and that Austrian-born German with the funny moustache.

  72. avatar
    Arthur July 16, 2014 at 11:10 am #

    Rickey: Yes, but that does not prevent the right wing from making a connection between Obama and that Austrian-born German with the funny moustache.

    Ah, yes, Rickey. I see your insight into quantum birtherism is profound.

  73. avatar
    Benji Franklin July 17, 2014 at 11:34 am #

    Lupin: Empirically, the truth of quantum birtherism is demonstrated every day — and I do mean every day

    And I’ve discovered that Quantum Birtherism merges with Birther Cosmology, albeit only inside a functioning Lava Lamp.

    For the most enlightened Birthers, “thinking outside the box”, means contemplating an idea using only their brain stems. This is what allows them to sustain world views which boggle the minds of those of us who have multi-celled brains. The most common of Birther world views is their belief in an infinite Universe, bound only by Barack Obama’s constitutional Presidential ineligibility!

  74. avatar
    Benji Franklin July 17, 2014 at 12:28 pm #

    Here’s a comparison between the definition of an “event horizon” surrounding a black hole (as explained by Wikipedia) and the definition of a BIRTHER “event horizon” surrounding a black President:

    An event horizon is, in general relativity, a boundary in spacetime beyond which events cannot affect an outside observer. In layman’s terms, it is defined as “the point of no return”, i.e., the point at which the gravitational pull becomes so great as to make escape impossible. An event horizon is most commonly associated with black holes. Light emitted from beyond the event horizon can never reach the outside observer. Likewise, any object approaching the horizon from the observer’s side appears to slow down and never quite pass through the horizon, with its image becoming more and more redshifted as time elapses.

    An event horizon is, in BIRTHER relativity, a boundary in THE BIRTHER WORLDVIEW beyond which events ACTUALLY DETERMINING PRESIDENTIAL ELIGIBILITY cannot affect a BIRTHER observer. In layman’s terms, it is defined as “the point of no return”, i.e., the point at which the HATE FOR OBAMA becomes so great as to make RATIONAL THINKING impossible. A BIRTHER event horizon is most commonly associated with black PRESIDENTS. REAL EVIDENCE CONFIRMING ELIGIBILITY DISPLAYED from beyond the BIRTHER event horizon can never reach the BIRTHER observer. Likewise, any UNIVERSE-SHATTERING OBAMA-DAMNING LIES approaching the horizon from the observer’s side appears to slow down and never quite pass through the horizon, with its FAILING-MESSAGE becoming more and more STRIDENT as time elapses.

  75. avatar
    The Magic M July 18, 2014 at 5:18 am #

    Benji Franklin: A BIRTHER event horizon is most commonly associated with black PRESIDENTS.

    YMMD. :)

    Benji Franklin: And I’ve discovered that Quantum Birtherism merges with Birther Cosmology, albeit only inside a functioning Lava Lamp.

    And only at energies above 150 TeV (Taitz eligibility validity) and IQ’s close to absolute zero (aka the Apuzzo constant).

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