Tiger Woods not a natural born citizen?

Attorney Grizbor Tznuq, DVM, DD, JD has announced that he has filed suit in federal court alleging that Woods is not a natural born citizen and therefore ineligible to hold his Masters Tournament championships, according to an article yesterday (December 4, 2009) at Gather.com.

Tznuq claims he has a birth certificate showing that Woods was born in Mgarr on the Island of Malta.

The story also claims Tznuq has sued the Walt Disney company over the ownership of Mickey Mouse, and lost his veterinary license for performing cosmetic surgery on illegal aliens.

I’m not all that familiar with Gather.com, but this looks like a hoax. A search of the Federal court system turns up no plaintiff named Tznuq, nor does “Grizbor Tznuq” appear on Google except on this article. The story is just too outrageous to be true.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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8 Responses to Tiger Woods not a natural born citizen?

  1. mommybrain says:

    I’d say it’s a satire. Can you pronunce Tznuq backwards? Sounds, maybe, like what he thinks of Orly and the birthers.

  2. Scientist says:

    Of course, the Masters has no citizenship requirement. The current champion is from Aregntina and past winners have included Aussies, Brits, Spaniards and many other nationalities. In sports, you want the best players from around the world to compete. No one would think of fielding a baseball team without Dominicans or Japanese or a hockey team without Canadians or Russians or a marathon race without Ethiopians or Kenyans. Similarly, if one were going in for brain surgery, one would want the best doctor, regardles of nationality.

    So if we want better Presidents, maybe we should open up the field to the best candidates regardless of origin. After all, it’s not as though there haven’t been quite a few stinkers among the supposedly natural born citizens who have occupied the office so far. Wouldn’t many a smart, hard-working immigrant have done a better job than James Buchanan or George W Bush? Let’s see if we can learn from sports; a wider field = a higher caliber of play.

  3. Chris says:

    Did it occur to anyone still wondering if this is satire, that the photo of “Txnuq” is actually on of Ted Bundy during his murder trial in Florida? Just wondering.

  4. misha says:

    It’s a gag. That is Bundy. Kudos, the Onion has competition.

  5. kimba says:

    If Mr Kimba had “transgressed” like Tiger, my club of choice would not have been a wedge…Just sayin’. By the way, is she a citizen? Are their children natural born?

  6. misha says:

    “Are their children natural born?”

    Not unless she was a US citizen at the time of their birth. Otherwise, they are merely ‘native born.’ If you doubt me, consult my esteemed counselor, M. Apuzzo, Esq. Or, you could ask Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq, M.O.U.S.E.

    She’ll be happy to explain between the water spray and the good ole air. Now, open wider.

  7. I knew from one of the follow-up comments that the photo was of a notable person, but I didn’t follow the Ted Bundy trial.

  8. Another satirical request for a birth certificate, this time for Governor Purdue of Georgia:

    Still, I have no proof that he’s a natural born citizen. And until he proves it to my satisfaction, I figure I don’t have to pay taxes to his administration …


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