Online Polls

Consider this hypothetical poll about Obama conspiracy theories:

What is your view about President Obama’s eligibility to be president?

  1. I think the country is likely to be destroyed if we don’t get that usurper out of the White House!
  2. It is vitally important that the President be allowed to lead without idiotic conspiracy theories diverting the public debate. We must support our president!
  3. The election was over a year ago. This question is a waste of time.

You can imagine perhaps an email urging folks to vote in the poll, selecting option 1. You can imagine another email urging option 2.  Can you imagine an email like the following:

Dear Friend,

There are millions of folks just like you and me that don’t give a rats ass about all this Obama conspiracy business. We don’t know anything about it, and we don’t care anything about it. The election was over a year ago and the next presidential election cycle is two whole years away. Why are we talking about this?

It is vitally important that you make your apathy known. We must gather a vast sleeping majority of disinterest and show the world that we could care less. I know that you will want stop whatever you are doing right at this moment and rush to vote in the Hypothetical Obama Conspiracy Poll.

Show the world that you don’t care. Vote Option 3!

The Committee to Promote Indecisiveness

Somehow I don’t think that email will “go viral.” Online polls that rely on volunteers to respond will always under report “don’t know” and “don’t care”. In fact, the results of such polls are more a measure of how well the advocates of a position get the word out about the poll than anything else.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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6 Responses to Online Polls

  1. Black Lion says:

    Interesting article over at the infamous Pest and Fail…You have to read the entire article…Basically Charlton implies that there is some sort of conspiracy regarding the HI Department of Health..

    “(Mar. 5, 2010) — Among the documents which The Post & Email Legal Fund recently acquired with the financial assistance and support of the readers of this e-Newspaper, shocking evidence has been found which apparently indicts officials of the Hawaii Department of Health for conspiracy to deprive U.S. citizens of their constitutional right to due process.

    The incriminating evidence was found in an inadvertent disclosure of emails between Ms. Janice S. Okubo, Communications Director for the Department, and Kenneth David, Supervisor of the Vital Statistics Office.

    It appears that David took it upon himself to do background checks on those making UIPA requests and on that basis suggested to Okubo to deny responding to their lawful requests for the release of government documents, requests which they made on the basis of the grants of rights of access accorded them by the Hawaii Uniform Information Practices Act (UIPA).

    Following this email exchange, the Department of Health discriminated against citizens whom it perceived to have “a hidden agenda.” The term “hidden agenda” was coined by David to refer to citizens who questioned Obama’s legitimacy to hold the office of president: a clearly political view, on which basis they could not be lawfully denied access.”

  2. I do not think that looking up someone’s public Internet statements is accurately termed a “background check” as that term has specific connotations which do not apply. Nevertheless these emails, if true, suggest that bureaucrats in Hawaii think like their peers in other states. [Sigh]

  3. BatGuano says:

    speaking of online polls:

    since this thread has passed with minimal attention it might be a nice place to ask:

    ” why are you here ?”

    for myself:

    *A): dual citizen. born in ’67 ( US ) to resident alien parents and have been curious ( plus questioning teachers and military recruiters ) about the NBC clause since i first heard it in second grade. can i be prez ???

    *B): the forgery aspect. i’m a modern graphic artist but specialize in traditional printing methods. always curious on how it would be done.

    *C): i attended “earl warren jr high” which………. peaked my interest in conspiracies.

  4. Scientist says:

    *A): dual citizen. born in 67 ( US ) to resident alien parents and have been curious ( plus questioning teachers and military recruiters ) about the NBC clause since i first heard it in second grade. can i be prez ???

    Yes, you can be Prez, but I suggest you run under a name other than BatGuano…

  5. BatGuano says:

    Bat Taitz ???

  6. Scientist says:

    Guano is preferable to Taitz

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