The end of the world

In my tireless quest to understand the birthers, I have been doing research into the Mayan calendar. As you may know, various dire predictions are made from on the Mayan calendar suggesting that the world as we know it will end on December 21, 2012, the year the calendar runs out.

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I have been conducting research this past week on these theories including extensive field research.

While popular belief may be that the Mayans disappeared a thousand years ago, that is not true. The Mayan people, languages and customs are still around, living in Mexico, Guatemala and Belize.

I visited some of the lesser known Mayan sites in Belize and spoke with local experts on the calendar. I think the consensus view was expressed by one who said: “how can a circular calendar end?” The present-day Mayans believe that December 21, 2012 simply marks the beginning of the 5th cycle or b’ak’tun.

I made a particular study of the pictoglyphs at Xunantunich in Belize. What I found shows the profound wisdom and vision of the Mayan people and alternative view on the end of the world that shows that the December 21, 2012 date is a month too early.

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The meaning of this monumental inscription has been translated: “The world will end on January 20, 2013 if Barack Obama is reelected, according to the birthers.”

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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10 Responses to The end of the world

  1. Arthur says:

    On the subject of deciphering Mayan hieroglyphs, I recommend the NOVA documentary, “Cracking the Maya Code.”

    http://video.pbs.org/video/980048895/

  2. Wile E. says:

    Love it!

    Here’s a shot of my wife and me on the other side of the same structure.

    http://i1227.photobucket.com/albums/ee423/pbdawg/MoreRuins.jpg

    I believe it reads, “Don’t take the jaguar tour at Cockscomb if you actually think you are going to see a jaguar.”

    And one from the top for a little perspective…

    http://i1227.photobucket.com/albums/ee423/pbdawg/KevinandRuins.jpg?t=1323233123

  3. G says:

    Awesome pics!!!

  4. Daniel says:

    Welcome friends, to another episode of “As the TEOTWAWKI turns”.

    This week’s episode finds us at the Royal Mayan Observatory, where a scribe works feverishly on calculations for the Mayan Illustrated Swimsuit calendar. We now join the episode, in progress…

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “Well scribe, how goes the calculations?”

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “Not too bad Master, but I have to say I’m getting very weary of doing nothing but complex, exacting, astronomical calculations. I nearly tore my groin picking up the compass stone yesterday”

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “Ummm, that stone is over three tons. We have a moving company to do that.”

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “I wish you’d told me that before I did my nails. Anyways, I really would like to get away from this for awhile, take a break, maybe take in the Pan-mesoAmerican Ti Pitziil championships? I promise I will definitely get back to it right after the game, or may Vucub Hunahpu tear out my heart and feed it to Xbalanque!”

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “Oh please, like he isn’t going to anyways.. Still lets see what you’ve done so far. What date are you up to now?”

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “Ummm, let’s see… three turns of the Inner Wheel, circumnavigate the Well of Souls, second planting of the Purple Potatoes, carry the three…. here we are. 2012, December 21.”

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “2012? Oi Von Daniken! What ever possessed you to go all the way to 2012? Do you know how many slaves we’ll have to sacrifice? Why didn’t you stop at, oh 1600 or so?”

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “I’m a bureaucrat. They told me to start, but nobody told me to stop. Oh BTW, you owe me for overtime… 25years straight.”

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “I’ll have to consult the collective agreement. In the meantime, put down that chisel and get your loincloth. You’ve done enough on that calendar for this year’s budget. There’ll be a whole new priesthood before that one needs updating again. You and I, we’re going to play some golf.”

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “But Master, what if someone asks why we stop here? Why 2012? Why December 21? What do we tell them?”

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “What we tell them is, we tell them nothing. Executive privilege, mysteries of the Gods, whatever. It’s none of their business. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “I like the way you think.

    Umm, just one more question, Master…”

    Master Quezawhatchmacallit:

    “Whaaat… always with the questions. What is it now?

    Scribe Totequawhosawhatsit:

    “Master…. what is…. golf?”

    © 2001 Daniel Van Koughnett. All rights reserved

  5. Keith says:

    Daniel: Welcome friends, to another episode of “As the TEOTWAWKI turns”.

    8-))

    I love it.

  6. I saw a jaguar at the Belize zoo.

    Wile E.: I believe it reads, “Don’t take the jaguar tour at Cockscomb if you actually think you are going to see a jaguar.”

  7. J. Potter says:

    Whole thing must be so irritating to the Mayans. I don’t know much about it …. that date ends a great cycle of 13 cycles of 144,000 days each or some such. Analogous to the millenial prophecies of doom in our own culture. 1000 AD was a fun read back in the “Y2K” days. One day the doomcasters will get it right. Until then … the world ends every day at midnight. Check local listings for times in your area.

  8. G says:

    ROTFLMAO!!! Muchos kudos, Daniel! That was…just beyond awesome!!!

    Daniel: Welcome friends, to another episode of “As the TEOTWAWKI turns”.
    This week’s episode finds us at the Royal Mayan Observatory, where a scribe works feverishly on calculations for the Mayan Illustrated Swimsuit calendar. We now join the episode, in progress…

  9. G says:

    LMAO! Well said. 😉

    J. Potter: Whole thing must be so irritating to the Mayans. I don’t know much about it …. that date ends a great cycle of 13 cycles of 144,000 days each or some such. Analogous to the millenial prophecies of doom in our own culture. 1000 AD was a fun read back in the “Y2K” days. One day the doomcasters will get it right. Until then … the world ends every day at midnight. Check local listings for times in your area.

  10. Arthur says:

    Speaking of the end of the world . . . as reported by the “Salina Journal” (Kansas) and linked at “Oh For Goodness Sake”:

    “Neil Jednoralski had sent out an email stating that he planned to go to Osawatomie (Kansas) and arrest the president. He claims that President Obama has British and Indonesian citizenship and is committing fraud by impersonating a person eligible to be president.

    Jednoralski, a business owner, leader of the Salina 9/12 project, self-proclaimed tea party member and former candidate for state representative, agreed not to show up in Osawatomie. Officials took four guns and a pair of handcuffs from his home.”

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