“Mark of the Beast” Obamachip starts next week

According to The Last Days News, a new implanted microchip will be mandated by ObamaCare (aka the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act) starting a week from today, March 23.

TLDS cites the Affordable Care Act as describing an “implantable radio frequency transponder for patient identification and health information.1” Sounds like a really useful thing to have if you’re lying unconscious in an emergency room.

The Children’s Health Insurance Program has been around over a decade, but TLDS thinks the acronym is particularly ominous now, saying:

With a name like CHIP it would seem consistent to have the chip implanted into a child.

I have a buddy named Chip. I wonder if he’s implanted?

There are certain important documents that everybody talks about but nobody really reads, and I suppose that the Affordable Care Act (HR 3590) is one of them. Here’s a copy, if you’re interested. Neither “March 23” nor “implant” is in it. Snopes has an article.


1The only Google hits on this phrase were to right-wing Christian web sites. Most of the quotes in the referenced article were from a version of health care legislation that didn’t pass Congress, but even there, there was no mandatory implanting of anybody with anything.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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25 Responses to “Mark of the Beast” Obamachip starts next week

  1. justlw says:

    And don’t get me started about Mrs. Potts and her son!

    (I considered pivoting here to a “Queen of Diamonds” reference, but decided that’d be a little complex.)

  2. Deborah says:

    My analysis of the book of Revelation is that this “Michael” it refers to (Michael and his angels) is none other than, you guessed it MICHELANGELO, a Catholic waging an artistic “war” against Protestants. If my theory is correct, it would mean that “judgement day” is a thing of the past, not the future. But as with all things crazy, the end-of-the-world theory lacks evidence so anything goes.

  3. Paul says:

    I can’t wait to get mine!!!

  4. Arthur says:

    When it comes to implanting chips, make mine kettle-cooked–they seem to implant themselves right on my waist line.

  5. Bruce Metzger, chairman of the NRSV translation committee, has a nice little book called Breaking the Code: Understanding the Book of Revelation. It’s pretty much the scholarly consensus on Revelation.

    Deborah:
    My analysis of the book of Revelation is that this “Michael” it refers to (Michael and his angels) is none other than, you guessed it MICHELANGELO, a Catholic waging an artistic “war” against Protestants. If my theory is correct, it would mean that “judgement day” is a thing of the past, not the future. But as with all things crazy, the end-of-the-world theory lacks evidence so anything goes.

  6. Deborah says:

    Ok, tx, Dr. Conspiracy. I’ll add that author to my list of research topics, that being mostly children’s literature, medieval literature, the Renaissance, art history, etc.

    Dr. Conspiracy March 16, 2013 at 9:05 pm (Quote) #

    Bruce Metzger, chairman of the NRSV translation committee, has a nice little book called Breaking the Code: Understanding the Book of Revelation. It’s pretty much the scholarly consensus on Revelation.

  7. Arthur says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: Bruce Metzger, chairman of the NRSV translation committee, has a nice little book called Breaking the Code: Understanding the Book of Revelation. It’s pretty much the scholarly consensus on Revelation.

    Uh, no. Good Grief, Dr. C! As everyone knows, the most scholarly commentary on the Book of Revelation, and in particular, the anti-Christ, is found in reader comments at ORYR, under an article about the upcoming treason trial for Alvin Onaka.

    http://obamareleaseyourrecords.blogspot.com/2013/03/document-expert-obama-forged-birth-certificate.html#idc-container

    For example here’s part of a comment by renowned biblical scholar, “Traci’s Dad”:

    “There is a race between the Truth and the Lie. We know the forces of Dark are rapidly trying to create the anti-christ so that there will be no election in 2016 . . . Scripture tells us the anti-christ will commit great miracles and even raise the dead. The forces of Dark . . . or so called “fogblowers” call themselves illuminated but they are illuminated by the light of Lucifer. So fanatical are they that they seek to commit abortion on girls who are virgins! But the truth is now out. In a few months, the Dark One will anounce the raising of the Dead. We know know now these are but terrible experiments performed at Walter Reed on horribly wounded veterans who are not really dead.”

    I wonder which video game inspired this novel understanding of scripture? Or was it, “The Walking Dead”?

  8. Paul Pieniezny says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Bruce Metzger, chairman of the NRSV translation committee, has a nice little book called Breaking the Code: Understanding the Book of Revelation. It’s pretty much the scholarly consensus on Revelation.

    Just ordered it. 14.90 euros, rather cheap. As for the new translation, to quote my last but two vicar: “If the King James version was good enough for Jesus, it is good enough for me!”

  9. El Diablo Negro says:

    WHAT!?!??!?!

    Arthur: So fanatical are they that they seek to commit abortion on girls who are virgins!

  10. justlw says:

    Arthur: For example here’s part of a comment by renowned biblical scholar, “Traci’s Dad”:

    “…that there will be no election in 2016…”

    I wonder which video game inspired this novel understanding of scripture?

    In Heinlein’s Future History, Nehemiah Scudder, the “First Prophet”, was elected President of the US in 2012, and no election was held in 2016.

    A Rick Perry victory in 2012 would have had me severely impressed with Heinlein’s own prophecy skills. And running for the hills.

  11. Kiwiwriter says:

    Arthur: Uh, no. Good Grief, Dr. C! As everyone knows, the most scholarly commentary on the Book of Revelation, and in particular, the anti-Christ, is found in reader comments at ORYR, under an article about the upcoming treason trial for Alvin Onaka. http://obamareleaseyourrecords.blogspot.com/2013/03/document-expert-obama-forged-birth-certificate.html#idc-containerFor example here’s part of a comment by renowned biblical scholar, “Traci’s Dad”:“There is a race between the Truth and the Lie. We know the forces of Dark are rapidly trying to create the anti-christ so that there will be no election in 2016 . . . Scripture tells us the anti-christ will commit great miracles and even raise the dead. The forces of Dark . . . or so called “fogblowers” call themselves illuminated but they are illuminated by the light of Lucifer. So fanatical are they that they seek to commit abortion on girls who are virgins! But the truth is now out. In a few months, the Dark One will anounce the raising of the Dead. We know know now these are but terrible experiments performed at Walter Reed on horribly wounded veterans who are not really dead.”I wonder which video game inspired this novel understanding of scripture? Or was it, “The Walking Dead”?

    This guy needs some serious medications…the scary thing is that he probably has a small following…

  12. Arthur says:

    Kiwiwriter: This guy needs some serious medications…the scary thing is that he probably has a small following…

    He’s extreme, but what I find appalling is that no one at ORYR responded with a critical comment, and 13 people even “liked” it. (Even the vituperative “FALCON” rarely gets that many!) At the heart of birtherism, beneath the spurious appeals to “the CONSTITUTION!” is an ugly beast, squatting in the dark and glowering.

    . . . guess that makes Dr. C. Gandalf, standing on the bridge in Moria shouting, “You shall not pass!”

  13. Arthur says:

    Satan, in the History Channel’s “The Bible” apparently resembles Obama!

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-207_162-57574873/the-bible-does-satan-look-like-obama-in-history-channel-miniseries/

    Just wait until the birthers glob onto this one!

  14. The Magic M says:

    They already have, days ago.

  15. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    Well, except for the eyes, nose, mouth, chin, jaw, ethnicity, age and skin tone, they look exactly the same! 😉

  16. Kiwiwriter says:

    I’ve seen other dire warnings on “Snopes.Com” about chips being placed in our hands as the “mark of the Beast.”

    My father noted that “666” is “MDCLXVI,” which is all the Roman numerals in reverse rank order, so he thinks that the statement was an anti-Roman statement, probably used in graffiti during the period…saying that Rome and its money were the “beast.”

    Since Occam’s Razor is one of my favorite logical tools, I agree.

  17. Deborah: Bruce Metzger, chairman of the NRSV translation committee, has a nice little book called Breaking the Code: Understanding the Book of Revelation. It’s pretty much the scholarly consensus on Revelation.

    Sorry to spoil the party, but the anti-Christ will be Jewish. Obama is out of the running.

    John Hagee: ‘The anti-‘Christ will be a homosexual and Jewish, as was Karl Marx, as was Adolf H!tler.’

    Falwell: ‘The anti-Christ is walking among us in the shape of a Jewish male.’

    I wish to confirm to readers, this is correct. Because it’s me. Mwahahahahahaha…

    I feel it’s my duty to give fair warning.

  18. So, everybody got your chip implanted?

  19. Daniel says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    So, everybody got your chip implanted?

    I do, but I’m wishing they’d have spent the extra 13% for an internal antenna

  20. Kiwiwriter says:

    Arthur: He’s extreme, but what I find appalling is that no one at ORYR responded with a critical comment, and 13 people even “liked” it. (Even the vituperative “FALCON” rarely gets that many!) At the heart of birtherism, beneath the spurious appeals to “the CONSTITUTION!” is an ugly beast, squatting in the dark and glowering.

    . . . guess that makes Dr. C. Gandalf, standing on the bridge in Moria shouting, “You shall not pass!”

    The harshness of their rhetoric is bothersome to me…while I know that most keyboard commandos are very brave in their parents’ basement, I do worry that an adherent may go out and cause chaos with an assault rifle.

  21. Kiwiwriter says:

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    So, everybody got your chip implanted?

    All set…I’m getting direct messages from the NSA through the chip, and they are telling me to go to Opening Day at Yankee Stadium on April 1st…

  22. Welsh Dragon says:

    Kiwiwriter: My father noted that “666″ is “MDCLXVI,” which is all the Roman numerals in reverse rank order, so he thinks that the statement was an anti-Roman statement, probably used in graffiti during the period…saying that Rome and its money were the “beast.”

    Nice theory but 666 is only “DCLXVI”, and of course many scholars think that the number is 616.

  23. Dr. Conspiracy: So, everybody got your chip implanted?

    Who told you?

  24. The Magic M says:

    Dr. Conspiracy: So, everybody got your chip implanted?

    No, which proves that I do (because the chip prevents me from knowing it’s there).

  25. Daniel: I do, but I’m wishing they’d have spent the extra 13% for an internal antenna

    Like this: http://www.the60sofficialsite.com/images/antenna%20-%20My%20Favorite%20Martian.jpg

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