- Issue demands. Be audacious and demand it right now. By making demands of someone, you put yourself in their league; hence, the more important the person you demand from, the more important you look. Down side: You look pathetic if the person ignores you, or makes a joke about you.
- Give yourself an important title. Call yourself a lieutenant, a grand jury foreman or a journalist. Extra credit if you call yourself something with a science-sounding title like “forensic document examiner.” Down side: You look pathetic when people notice that you haven’t earned the title.
- Create a fancy web site. Lots of folks judge a book by its cover. Use bold graphics and popular symbols. Down side: You look pathetic when someone checks your site’s ratings and they are like 5 millionth in the US.
- Start a movement. Think big. Call for 1,000,000 people to march on Washington DC. Throw in some demands. Down side: You look pathetic when nobody but you and your cousin Vern show up.
- Claim that you are on a first name basis with God. You really look important to the folks who are impressed by that kind of thing.
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