This article is in the Wild & Wacky category, suggesting that it’s satire or a spoof. In one sense it is and in another sense it isn’t.
The obvious question is: What could shatter the universe? Certainly no case of identity fraud on the part of Barack Obama, no matter how messy, would fundamentally alter the country, the world or much less the universe. If proven, Obama would be impeached, and out of office. It would be a scandal, but we’ve had lots of scandals. Life as we know it would continue. We survived “Teapot Dome.” No, it has to be something bigger, and what is bigger than the President? Clearly it must be something international and be tied to a fundamental way people comprehend how the world works.
I think two important clues are found in an unlikely source: anti-birther humor. The first is “What Birthers Believe,” (2009) one of my favorite videos. Please watch it and then this article will continue.
The key point in the preceding video to keep in mind for what follows:
- Barack Obama was intentionally conceived to become president and destroy America
The second clue is in two of my earliest writings on this site, things that seem almost prescient now: “CIA DNA Test Reveals Barack Obama was ADOPTED” (December 2008) and “Barack Obama was Genetically Altered Super-Child” (January 2009).
Those stories presage recent Michael Shrimpton stories about the CIA and they support these key points:
- Obama’s parents are not Ann Dunham and Barack Obama, Sr.
- Barack Obama was intentionally conceived to become president to fundamentally alter America
- Hawaiian hospitals were in on it
Now compare those points with something Mark Kessler wrote on Facebook, subsequent to hearing Mike Zullo’s closed-door presentation at CPAC where supposedly Zullo laid out all of his secret investigative research to a group of sheriffs:
here’s what I was told, VIA cold case possie , 1) bozo isn’t American nor was he born in Hawaii, 2) they believe he’s Saudi , 3) their not his real parents, 4) Russia is involved, 5) it wasn’t an accident he’s president, 6) bill ayers and the weather underground are involved, 7) Kenya played a roll, Hawaii state officials did the birth certificate, he has several other names , not just the ones the public knows about, 9) he don’t exsist in the usa until the age of 5…..10)
I don’t see any reason not to take Kessler at his word: he was there. We know that Vogt was feeding stories to Zullo early on about the State of Hawaii’s involvement in forgery. Stories early from the Free Republic tied Ann Dunham both to the CIA and to internationalists (the Ford Foundation).
So Barack Obama, according to the Cold Case Posse’s secret information is part of a multi-generational international conspiracy to destroy America, once more turning back the Wild & Wacky clock to 2008 for my article: “Trilateralist, Illuminati, Bilderberger, oh my!” See also.
It is common for people who believe one conspiracy theory to believe others, and as far as I am concerned, it is no stretch whatever to connect the random dots weaving Obama birtherism into the well-established traditions of the John Birch Society, theories of the International Communist Conspiracy, black helicopters and UN Agenda 21. If the world woke up to a vision of being controlled by a secret elite, where wars, disasters, and calamity were all orchestrated by hidden hands, where even the President of the United States was a puppet fiction, wouldn’t that truly shatter the universe?
Conspiracy theorists have a hard time coming to grips with rejection. They feel that anyone with moderate intelligence, courage, and honesty will inevitably agree with them. Perhaps this is why Mike Zullo and Carl Gallups set goal after goal involving VIPs that are getting on board, only to be unable to deliver. Perhaps they expected that meeting with a VIP equaled convincing them—but that just didn’t happen.
I hope Zullo comes out with his universe-shattering information, because it would make him even more of laughing stock, and we could all go home.
That cartoon was everything I was hoping it would be, and more. 🙂
That was great Doc ! That pretty much sums up the whole ‘Birfer’ worldview —
here’s a pretty good example of what happens to someone who discovers truly universe-shattering revelation.
“We believe a story that is all but impossible, but if you tell us we’re wrong YOU’RE the crazy one.” –Any Given Birfoon
Do I have that right? I had to disable a few logic circuits to even compose that statement.
I interrupted Mitsuko Uchida playing Mozart to listen to that video. It was worth every moment.
Spot on!
Even a 914 would have been able to get that right.
I love that video, Doc! It’s right up there with “Great Moments in Birtherism” and the one that goes through 8 birther fallback positions for the goalposts.
I am home.
I hope you don’t post that video at Barfer Reports. They will all think it is real.
An interesting tidbit the video reminded me of:
USA: 73% Christian
Kenya: 83% Christian
See the plot of The Simulacra by Philip K. Dick.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Simulacra
Just a reminder: Gallups idea of “MONUMENTAL PROBLEMS” includes the fuzzy “H” on Onaka’s certification stamp, and the fact that it’s not exactly 50% typed and 50% handwritten*. I suspect finding out that Obama’s lawyer left the briefcase with the documents unguarded while she went to the bathroom on the flight home (thus “breaking that all-important legal chain of custody”) would crank him up to at least “Earth-shattering”.
*Which actually reminds me of a question I’ve been wondering about: Fukino saw the whole record. Isn’t it likely that much of the medical info, which doesn’t get copied onto the issued BC, would be checked off and written in by hand by the doctor?
I’ve always wondered where that quote comes from anyway. Why would Dr Fukino characterize the structural makeup of the vital record (as you noticed, “vital record” might be more than just the LFBC) this way? It might be the reporter paraphrased what she said (which may have been something like “one of the two pages is handwritten”).
Of course birfer would’ve found fault with a document that is only 49.2% typed and 50.8% handwritten (“that’s not what Fukino said!”).
[RWNJ] Dang, Obama got a 50/50 BC? The guy is really divisive about everything! [/RWNJ] *lol*
Unfortunately the people who believe this type of fantasy are in severe need of mental help that they will never receive. We are stuck with these crazies and their lunacy.
It comes from an NBC news story about an interview with Dr. Fukino, although Dr. Fukino is not directly quoted with those words. The story said:
“Before she would do so, Fukino said, she wanted to inspect the files — and did so, taking with her the state official in charge of vital records. She found the original birth record, properly numbered, half typed and half handwritten, and signed by the doctor who delivered Obama, located in the files. She then put out a public statement asserting to the document’s validity. She later put out another public statement in July 2009 — after reviewing the original birth record a second time. ”
That link is found on my Birth Certificate bookmarks page.
From the 1955 article in the Hawaii Medical Journal:
“A nurse or clerk in the hospital fills in the certificate form and gets the mother to sign it. Then the attending physician enters certain medical data and affixes his signature. Finally, the hospital sends the completed certificate to the local registrar.”
http://www.wnd.com/files/CHARLESBENNETT.pdf
Yes. In the Gallups Rant aftermath of comments at BR, there was much of that same ole’ CRAZY same ole’.
The particularly worn tale defining at least their True Believers’ collective lunacy, is the sad-sack declaration that the only possible explanation for why people in authority have not accepted the Birther charges against Obama and revoked his Presidency, is because EVERY member of both houses of Congress and the Supreme Court, and the Executive Branch, and the Military, and equivalent governmental positions at the state and local levels, with the possible exception of Sheriff Joe, ALL the REST of them and most of our citizens, AND the mainstream (minor, minor, minor) media, KNOW that Obama is ineligible, but are conspiring to keep him in office and/or let him’ escape punishment!
Now, Birther-movement hitch-hiking social malcontents, which probably includes Falcon, of course don’t believe such absurdity, but the lunacy of those who do is dramatically confirmed by their need to REPEAT the fantastic explanation, as though, initially OVERLOOKED by the few non-conspiring citizens living in our country, that bizarre tale of EVERY PUBLIC OFFICIAL conspiring might soon be forgotten, (and try to wrap a sane mind around this conclusion), BUT will become MORE compellingly convincing, each time its lunatic premises are repeated!
I do think that our ‘favorite’ Falcon’s bravado in threatening all the Obots and Obot sympathizers, as he pretends to be a sort of chess-master sitting in judgment of every aspect of government, could be that of a bright underachiever who has grandly adopted the casually dismissive attitude of a generic avenging super-hero, and that’s why we see him incessantly predicting the ever expanding dimensions of just how sorry all who disagree with his politics or suggested ineligibility tactics, will be when the hammer falls!
What’s with the bird-of-prey screen name? I’m guessing Falcon is probably a laughingstock at his workplace, compensating by escaping into a Walter Mitty-like world of make-believe wherein, when Falcon is summoned to a mundane task, he hears a hero’s name called instead of his own:
“Captain America! Attention, Captain America! Cleanup in aisle 7!”
or
“Jack Bauer! Jack Bauer! Return at once to the snack shop bathroom and re-plunge all of the stools.”
or
“Attention: God of the Old Testament! Report to bag at register 13! “
it wasn’t an accident he’s president
That is my favorite part. Back in 1961 they knew that Obama would win the Democratic nomination in 2008 and that his Republican opponent would be a cranky old man, so he was guaranteed to win. The conspirators were able to do that, but they weren’t able to ensure that he had a compliant Supreme Court and a super majority in the Senate and a majority in the House for his entire two terms.
The birthers still can’t accept that fact that a majority of voters supported a black candidate for President – and twice at that.
This is my favorite part as well, but for a different reason. I am pretty sure there has never been a person who became president by accident (well, maybe GWB). It is not like the previous office holders thought they were waiting in line for stamps but when they got to the front discovered it was actually the line for president.
As Doc already pointed out (Thanks, Doc: I hadn’t bookmarked the article), it was a paraphrase, but her reason for putting it in some terms resembling that was, undoubtedly, the fact that the birfers were yammering that the short form was “just a computer printout. And you can put anything you want into a comnputer printout”.
😆
It’s ironic that you mentioned GWB, since there’s been a rumor for years that he was standing in the line for baseball commissioner, and jumped the President line because his line wasn’t moving.
*LOL*
Hey, speaking of lines not moving: Bud Selig’s “Blue Ribbon Panel” is considering the territorial rights to San Jose, CA (San Francisco Giants v Oakland Athletics). They’ve been at it for around five years, but the decision will be coming down the pike ANY DAY NOW.