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Top Ten Obama Conspiracy Predictions for 2009

It’s going to be a real challenge to come up with predictions for 2009 stranger than what we’ve seen for real in 2008. Who would have figured Chester A. Arthur as a usurper? Let’s turn up the lava lamp, put on the tin foil hat and sit under our pyramid as we foretell

The Top Ten Obama Conspiracy Theories to be Revealed in 2009

  1. The Constitution is a fake! Real Constitution requires president to be third-generation American.
  2. Obama’s father was really Lee Harvey Oswald.
  3. Actual Obama birth certificate is in secret warehouse in Washington DC, next to The Ark of the Covenant.
  4. Obama is the offspring of two gay men.
  5. The fourteenth amendment was not legally ratified. African Americans are not citizens.
  6. Obama birth certificate, passport, drivers license, social security card, voter registration card and an American Express card were purchased on the street in San Francisco for $600.
  7. Obama original birth registration in Hawaii is treated with CIA poison. Anyone who touches will die horribly.
  8. Pentagon has contingency plan to take over the government January 21 if birth certificate is not produced.
  9. Barack Obama is actually a clone made from cells taken from John F. Kennedy.
  10. Hawaii is not a state!

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7 Responses to Top Ten Obama Conspiracy Predictions for 2009

  1. avatar
    Dr. Conspiracy January 3, 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    Number 10 Prediction, Hawaii is not a State has come true.

  2. avatar
    Bob September 23, 2009 at 8:37 pm #

    No. 5 prediction (14th amendment was not legally ratified) also was correct.

  3. avatar
    William Hamilton October 20, 2009 at 11:52 am #

    The fourteenth Amendment was legally ratified. My ancestors participated in the process. They were on Missionary Ridge near Chattanooga, Tenn On November 25th. 1863 when Grant’s army, well supplied, well equipped and well fed pushed their way through the Confederate Line and put the Confederate Army of Tennessee to rout. He got shot in the leg and ended up in a Yankee Prison camp. When he walked home, 1000 miles, after the war, his farm had been burned to the ground. He took the Oath, rebuilt the Farm and raised 9 children. We signed back on to the United States with the 13 and 14th. Amendments, so we’re in and they’re OK.

    Our family regards the issue as having been conclusively resolved. So did Robert E. Lee. We’re done.

  4. avatar
    drewtornelli October 20, 2009 at 1:27 pm #

    Number 6 prediction -TRUE! I sold him those papers and gave him a Discover card as a bonus!

  5. avatar
    Karen Vaughan October 20, 2009 at 9:00 pm #

    OBAMA IS THE NEW LEADER OF THE REVIVED ROMAN EMPIRE AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER.OPRAH IS THE ANTICHRIST AND TELLS EVERYONE THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS TO GET TO HAVEN.

  6. avatar
    tema nara October 21, 2009 at 11:02 am #

    u guys must be KKK. you disgust me you rasict pigs. and if u want to say something about it, u can kiss my a** obama got in cuz the people trust him. if u dont trust him, live with it. hawaii is a state. african americans are citizins. the constitution has many breeches, loophole, and unjustices, but it is real. not everyone has to show thier damn birth certificate. you cant prove who obamas damn daddy was. gay guys cant get pregnant. and u cant prove anything at all. shut the hell up and get your ass back to school and learn.

  7. avatar
    bubba gump May 1, 2010 at 2:27 am #

    Dang, somebody needs to tell tema nara what satire is.

    I just thought about something. All of the hispanic people will relate to Obama with people asking for their papers and all. Thats a significant voter base.