Obama threatens: Hawaii, keep quiet!

The death of Hawaii Health Director Loretta Fuddy precipitated by a plane crash was ruled an accident. Birthers say it was murder, ordered by Obama to keep her quiet about the President’s birth certificate (or lack thereof). But accidents do happen and sudden cardiac death is a common cause of death.

Aerial view of the HAARP site, looking towards Mount Sanford, AlaskaYou may recall that birthers have said that the reason that the State of Hawaii has been 100% consistent in support for the story that the President was born in the state is because of secret threats to state officials to drown the islands in a tsunami triggered by a government research project called the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP), blamed by conspiracy theorists for everything from the destruction of the space shuttle Columbia, to floods and droughts, to chronic fatigue syndrome. Now does anybody believe that 6 inches of snow and 50 mph winds in Hawaii are just an accident? Obviously Obama is reminding the people of Hawaii of what will happen to them if they tell the truth about his birth certificate.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled critical thinking.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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12 Responses to Obama threatens: Hawaii, keep quiet!

  1. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    If even half the sinister things birthers accused Obama of were true, chief among them being that he has people who question his “story” executed, then why isn’t there an ocean trench full of dead birthers? Surely if he was offing “threats” left and right, then birthers would be dropping like flies, seeing how they’re always patting themselves on the back for making him and his “operatives” nervous about “what is coming in March”, etc.

  2. The Magic M says:

    Andrew Vrba, PmG: why isn’t there an ocean trench full of dead birthers?

    That’s a question for sane people, but conspiracy believers always make up creative excuses. One favourite is “I’m so important, if they kill me, everybody will wake up to the truth”.

    Looking at the discussions of this particular subject on Birther Report, not having birthers killed is the best thing Obama can do. After all, if he killed Zullo, his universe-shattering evidence would be immediately released (since he has left instructions to that extent, the BR crowd claims). On the other hand, if he lets Zullo live, it’s obvious nothing universe-shattering will ever be released since we’ve all seen how promises of Arpaio/Zullo/Gallups turn out in the real world. 🙂

  3. smirk4food says:

    …a government research project called the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP), blamed by conspiracy theorists for everything from the destruction of the space shuttle Columbia, to floods and droughts, to chronic fatigue syndrome.

    Never mind HAARP. The real culprit in the death of Fuddy is a lesser-known government program in Hawaii called the Frequency Activation Research Test. I have in my possession classified documents that will blow everybody’s minds!!!

    I got the documents from the researchers leading the program, Professors Smeldit and Deltit

  4. Dave says:

    Dr C’s link to the Wikipedia article is fine I suppose for people who want actual facts — but if you’re interested in knowing what the New World Order is trying conceal, you’ll need another source. How about Dr. Kate’s blog: HAARP Documentary.

  5. Zim R. Men says:

    In other weird Hawaii happenings, turns out the only non-family member thanked by name by obama in his yearbook was a drug sharing homosexual.

    I heard some other guy claimed that Obama liked drugs and gay sex but I forgot who it was.

    Do you think there is a conspiracy about Obama and drugs and homosexuality friends or is it all just unbelievable what with like the odds and stuff. I know you can solve it?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2547667/EXCLUSIVE-Obamas-high-school-pot-dealer-future-president-thanked-good-times-yearbook-beaten-death-gay-lover-fights-flatulence-drugs.html

  6. CarlOrcas says:

    Zim R. Men: Do you think there is a conspiracy about Obama and drugs and homosexuality friends or is it all just unbelievable what with like the odds and stuff. I know you can solve it?

    Let me get this straight: Obama has never hidden the fact he smoked dope while in high school. Wrote about it in at least one of his books, right? Then seven years after that happened the fellow who supplied the dope was killed, apparently by his gay lover. No secret then or now……28 years later.

    But you think there is some sort of conspiracy because it is “unbelievable” that someone could have had friends who smoked dope, were gay and got murdered. Is that it?

  7. JPotter says:

    Zim R. Men: a drug sharing homosexual.

    You prefer straights who are strict bogarts?

  8. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    Zim R. Men:
    -Something of John’s level of stupidity-

    I smell an alt.

  9. Rickey says:

    Zim R. Men:

    Do you think there is a conspiracy about Obama and drugs and homosexuality friends or is it all just unbelievable what with like the odds and stuff. I know you can solve it?

    Absolutely it’s a conspiracy. Because it is so unusual to have a friend in high school whose later life turns out badly.

    I had a close friend in high school named Dan. He was an athlete and a member of the National Honor Society, but he also like to get drunk. He got a scholarship to attend Fordham University, but by his sophomore year he was into serious drugs and he dropped out and moved west. The last I heard he was living like a hermit east of Spokane, Washington. His father died ten years ago and Dan didn’t even bother to show up for the funeral. I’ve written to Dan several times after I learned his address, but he has never acknowledged my letters.

    Does Dan’s life somehow reflect badly upon me?

  10. CarlOrcas says:

    Rickey: Does Dan’s life somehow reflect badly upon me?

    Only if you are President……and black.

  11. Whitney says:

    JPotter: You prefer straights who are strict bogarts?

    LMAO =P

  12. Jules says:

    I have noticed that conspiracy theorists often allege that a coverup is so successful because efforts were taken to kill or otherwise silence all those who had incriminating information. However, if the conspiracy involves even more people getting involved to commit murder, one has massively increased the number of people involved and an increased likelihood of everyone getting caught. In reality, most of these elaborate schemes exist only the the conspiracy theorist’s mind.

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