The Jade Helm thing

I was very much impressed by something that Peggy Noonan wrote in the Wall Street Journal in 2011. She said:

Here is the fact of the age: People believe nothing. They think everything is spin and lies. The minute a government says A is true, half the people on Earth know A is a lie. And when people believe nothing, as we know, they will believe anything. We faked the moon landing, there was a second gunman in Dallas, the World Trade Center was blown up in a U.S.-Zionist conspiracy, Hitler grew old in Argentina.

A military training exercise called “Jade Helm 15” scheduled for later this year provides fertile ground for those who will “believe anything” and generated quite a buzz last April that continues to the present. The multi-state exercise labels parts of the country as friendly or hostile territory. Conspiracy theorists say that the hostile areas will be subjected to martial law, guns confiscated, and patriots shipped off to FEMA camps or killed. (See my article: Stocking up on FEMA coffins.) A number of Walmarts in Texas, closed for renovations, are thought to be processing centers for the incarceration of patriots.dalek One report has Turkish pilots staging at a Walmart and another that 5 Walmart stores are connected by a network of underground tunnels, such as the one shown at right. A mass of ISIS terrorists are staged to cross the Mexican Border in an attack that will justify martial law. Even Texas Governor  Greg Abbott has ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor the training exercise.

As is the case with most conspiracy theories, it is believed that the “elite” are in on it, or at least know, the truth, as evidenced by the mass exodus of corporate CEO’s to secret bunkers.

asteroidNot all believe that Jade Helm 15 is just a simple power grab by President Obama. Some attributed a more apocalyptic backdrop. Some believe (as on this Facebook page dedicated to the topic) that there is an asteroid headed for the United States. This event will “require the implementation of martial law, massive ammunitions, FEMA camps, enormous amounts of medication, shelters etc.” In addition to martial law, this event is the perfect occasion for the second coming of Jesus.

The Birthers are, of course, ready to believe pretty much anything bad about President Obama, and commenters at Birther Report mention Jade Helm from time to time. Here are some samples, the most recent of which was yesterday:

drdebdrdeb

This is an interesting article. And yes, Barry et al are doing everything in their power to create a police nation. I personally think that is what Jade Helm is all about. Once they get a police nation, they will enact martial law and confiscate those pesky guns.
I am praying that our freedoms shall be restored.

Barry Soetoro, ESQ

Theory: Are JADE HELM troops being positioned as a perimeter/support to the upcoming “ISIS Attacks?”
We’ve had troops all over the Mideast the past 14 years. Hint: OBL doesn’t exist. They’re doing SOMETHING over there. But it’s not chasing OBL or raiding his “villa.”

★FALCON★

Hodges – JadeHelm –
US Army Special Operations Officer to Reveal that ISIS is Controlled By the CIA
http://www.thecommonsenseshow.com/2015/05/03/us-army-special-operations-officer-to-reveal-that-isis-is-controlled-by-the-cia/
LSM starts mocking, right on cue.
The MSM Is Coming Unglued Defending Jade Helm

and

Linked at RedFlag – Veteran Mark calls in – tells everyone the military is lying. Says that infiltrating the population undetected is out of bounds and I15 road to Vegas – huge build-up. Thousand of MRAPS and Humvees – stage for something in California.
Military Build Up For Jade Helm Is Biggest Ever Seen

and

Interesting article by Hodges here. Two weeks ago Klayman’s Judicial Watch discovered that ISIS was in Juarez and the FBI went to Mexico. They didn’t go there to uncover any plots – just meeting with authorities and devising methodology to spin it. Further, DHS was cut-out of the meetings –
JADE HELM MIA AS ISIS IS STREAMING ACROSS THE SOUTHERN BORDER

If nothing happens by September 15, 2015, we’re all safe. The Birthers will probably never feel safe.

Read more:

Update (7/16/2019): Of course Jade Helm 15 completed without incident. No martial law was declared. Barack Obama left office at the end of his term. I updated one of the links declaring that it was confirmed ISIS was streaming over the southern border to the web archive version, the original having been deleted.

(Photoshopped)

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
This entry was posted in Birther Report, Misc. Conspiracies and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to The Jade Helm thing

  1. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:

    Punchmaster via Mobile:
    Looks like BSE is cruising for another spanking. He’s gone whole hog with the “any conspiracy in a storm!” again. Its amusing to watch, when the admin comes down on him.

    I haven’t been watching but has he jumped on the Jade Helm 15 bandwagon?

  2. A little bit. Here are some of the Jade Helm comments:

    Dr. Deb,

    Thanks, dear Grace,
    This is an interesting article. And yes, Barry et al are doing everything in their power to create a police nation. I personally think that is what Jade Helm is all about. Once they get a police nation, they will enact martial law and confiscate those pesky guns.
    I am praying that our freedoms shall be restored.

    http://www.birtherreport.com/2015/05/homeland-security-jonathan-mooers-to.html#IDComment969057418

    BSE:

    Theory: Are JADE HELM troops being positioned as a perimeter/support to the upcoming “ISIS Attacks?”

    We’ve had troops all over the Mideast the past 14 years. Hint: OBL doesn’t exist. They’re doing SOMETHING over there. But it’s not chasing OBL or raiding his “villa.”

    http://www.birtherreport.com/2015/05/daily-caller-birthers-are-going-to-have.html#IDComment968740811

    Falcon:

    Hodges – JadeHelm –

    US Army Special Operations Officer to Reveal that ISIS is Controlled By the CIA
    http://www.thecommonsenseshow.com/2015/05/03/us-a

    LSM starts mocking, right on cue.

    The MSM Is Coming Unglued Defending Jade Helm

    http://www.birtherreport.com/2015/05/allen-west-posing-with-obama-identity.html#IDComment968548363

    BSE:

    Wooden shoe = sabot = sabotage.

    Workers back in (Norway?) would toss their wooden shoes (known as sabots) into wooden factory gears to “sabot-age” them.

    I don’t know if that wooden shoe is actually in the logo, but I’ve seen it included in the Jade Helm logo on blogs.

    In other words, DHS (Department of Homeland Sabotage) is preparing for 300 million Americans to go ballistic when they realize they’ve been systematically lied to and betrayed for decades.

    #1 Sandy Hoax
    #2 Boston Hoaxathon
    #3 9/11

    #4 etc
    #5 etc
    ……..and so on…..

    http://www.birtherreport.com/2015/04/revealed-senator-ted-cruzs-selective.html#IDComment966987866

    Patriots for America

    Your Welcome Christian,
    I have an interesting video and some think it may have to do with Jade Helm 15. In one case someone video UN Trucks, I saw this video for myself. What are the UN Truck doing here and for what.?

    Something is definitely going on. Many suspect this exercise may be for Martial Law.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1I7K0ufcyg

    RAW FOOTAGE! Inside Jade Helm Pico Rivera Walmart & New Pics!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERv3IYaLxtA

    http://www.impeachobamacampaign.com/you-wont-believe-what-happened-when-this-porn-star-decided-to-take-a-bible-to-her-shoot/#IDComment965589777

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: I haven’t been watching but has he jumped on the Jade Helm 15 bandwagon?

  3. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:

    wow his list of crap he believes….

    Jon Stewart had a good piece of Jade Helm 15 and the freakout texas is doing. He then showed previous operations by the US Military in Texas under George W. Bush’s term where Governor Rick Perry didn’t freak out and acted totally normal.

  4. donna says:

    “Fear and Absent Danger”

    Watch Jon Stewart rip reaction to Jade Helm 15, the military exercise spawning conspiracy theories

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2015/05/05/watch-jon-stewart-rip-reaction-to-jade-helm-15-the-military-exercise-spawning-conspiracy-theories/

    “America elected a brutal socialist Muslim Kenyan ineffective Harvard-schooled constitutional professor agitator warlock,” Stewart said sarcastically of Obama, pausing for effect. “So Texas, it appears you are on the verge of being taken over by [the Islamic State], or the United States of America. So you have a choice to make, and when you make it just remind yourself — and I never thought I’d be saying this — what would Rick Perry do?”

  5. Crustacean says:

    Doc, when this all blows over would you – as someone who can actually post comments at BR – please mock Falcon mercilessly about his idiotic predictions of martial law and ISIS attacks?

    And while you’re at it, maybe remind him to check-six for that “missing” Malaysian airliner that’s been packed full of explosives. Falcon is a dangerous pistol-packer who knows too much, so he’s probably the terrorists’ primary target.

  6. Dave B. says:

    Are you just joshing about the Daleks or do they really think there’s something like that in those tunnels?

  7. The Magic M (not logged in) says:

    Crustacean: Doc, when this all blows over would you – as someone who can actually post comments at BR – please mock Falcon mercilessly about his idiotic predictions of martial law and ISIS attacks?

    We all know Falcon will simply delude himself that the good TX governor prayed martial law away with his super-patriotism.
    (Actually it seems the wingnuts have learned to spell a bit, though I’ve always considered Marshal Law to be the perfect guy to head the Joint Chiefs of Staff.)

  8. The Magic M (not logged in) says:

    Dr. Conspiracy (quoting a wingnut): Something is definitely going on. Many suspect this exercise may be for Martial Law.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1I7K0ufcyg

    Now I remember why I never watch those videos.
    The guy eerily reminds me of a well-known German wingnut – same “mad” voice, sometimes cracking, sometimes aggressive, sometimes outright hateful (and at strange points in the sentences).

  9. Crustacean says:

    Dalek is apparently an extraterrestrial word for pepper shaker.

    Also: Daleks were created to be free of all emotions except hatred. In other words, they would make perfect birthers.

    Dave B.: Are you just joshing about the Daleks or do they really think there’s something like that in those tunnels?

  10. Benji Franklin says:

    Birdboy has flooded the magazines just now at BR. Quote:

    “Mike Zullo pussed out.

    A few months ago I asked for everyone to give Zullo the strength he needed to complete this monumental journey and task. I think most did pray that he would get the strength.

    Zullo is not going to be coming forward. You should know.”

    Dr. Conspiracy: Falcon:

    Hodges – JadeHelm –

    US Army Special Operations Officer to Reveal that ISIS is Controlled By the CIA

  11. Curious George says:

    Benji Franklin:

    “Birdboy has flooded the magazines just now at BR. Quote:”

    “Mike Zullo pussed out.

    A few months ago I asked for everyone to give Zullo the strength he needed to complete this monumental journey and task. I think most did pray that he would get the strength.

    Zullo is not going to be coming forward. You should know.”

    It looks like Mr.Falcon doesn’t take too kindly to Korporal ZooLow’s trickery. Can’t say that we didn’t warn him. But, better late coming around to reality than never.

  12. Sluffy1 says:

    Curious George: It looks like Mr.Falcon doesn’t take too kindly to Korporal ZooLow’s trickery. Can’t say that we didn’t warn him. But, better late coming around to reality than never.

    My favorite part of the same post is his self gratification stroke…
    “★FALCON★ I have the balls enough to tell everyone.”… telling his minions what we’ve been telling them for years is not ballsy,

    Saying to his cohorts, ” Doc has been right from the start.” would be.

  13. Benji Franklin says:

    Curious George: It looks like Mr.Falcon doesn’t take too kindly to Korporal ZooLow’s trickery. Can’t say that we didn’t warn him. But, better late coming around to reality than never

    Yeah, well this is probably Bird-boy sensing that Zullo will soon publicly be cut loose from Our Pie Hole, and never having had REAL EVIDENCE OF ANYTHING CRIMINAL, float away like a balloon released immediately upstream of the air intake of a jet engine.

    Rather than appearing to be one of the successfully scammed Birther masses left with the whole fund-raising tale of evidence and investigations in flames, Birdboy pretends to “know” as a privileged “insider”, that Our Pie Hole still has the smirking gun to ruin Obama with, since it’s unlikely that Our Pie Hole will want to publicly mention Birther business any time soon, with the mess he’s in.

    Zullo’s failure to report the universe-shattering evidence now becomes simple cowardice instead of an absence of evidence.

    Bird brain has obviously had to become a frequent flier at explaining why he’s wrong in all of his Obama dooming predictions. You can bet he guaranteed just about everybody he knew that Obama could never be elected either time to the Presidency.

  14. RanTalbott says:

    Benji Franklin: Zullo is not going to be coming forward. You should know

    I take it from this wording that Bird Boy is not responding to an actual event, but just trying to see if he can score with yet another “prediction”?

    Ironic that he chose “pussed out”: we’ve been telling them from the start that Zullo was oozing obnoxious waste.

  15. bgansel9 says:

    And (excuse my delving in to politics for a moment – I just stated recently that I don’t do that here, but….) they’re going to do this right before a presidential election – and the entire country is starting to perk their ears regarding the candidates…

    Ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahaha! Somebody get me an oxygen tank, I can’t breathe!

  16. Curious George says:

    Sluffy1

    “[Falcon] [s]aying to his cohorts, ” Doc has been right from the start.” would be [ballsy].

    +1

  17. Yeah, just joking there (joke borrowed). Also the Facebook page about the asteroid hit leads with a comment dated April 1–but all the commenters took it seriously, as best I could tell.

    Dave B.: Are you just joshing about the Daleks

  18. It’s just a bad day for Falcon’s biorhythms.

    Benji Franklin: Zullo is not going to be coming forward. You should know.

  19. Notorial Dissent says:

    The problem with trying to prank a birfer, 1) it’s too easy, and 2) they never get it, is that they have neither senses of humor or proportion, and so can’t tell fact from fantasy. Which is to say they will believe anything that fits their belief structure no matter how outlandish it is. One of the reasons they fall for each and every conspiracy theory that comes down the pike. Satire and humor are wasted on them.

  20. The Magic M (not logged in) says:

    Notorial Dissent: Satire and humor are wasted on them.

    In a way, they are on the autism spectrum. The inability to understand things like satire, sarcasm, irony, humour etc. is typical of that.
    For example they have no problems yapping about ridicule being an “Alinsky tactic” (Teabag lingo for “devil’s work”) and using “Obummer” or “Piglosi” in the same sentence.

  21. Notorial Dissent says:

    Agreed, they can yap with great enthusiasm about those things, but I seriously doubt if they even really know what they are referring to.

  22. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:

    Notorial Dissent:
    The problem with trying to prank a birfer, 1) it’s too easy, and 2) they never get it, is that they have neither senses of humor or proportion, and so can’t tell fact from fantasy. Which is to say they will believe anything that fits their belief structure no matter how outlandish it is. One of the reasons they fall for each and every conspiracy theory that comes down the pike. Satire and humor are wasted on them.

    It’s pointless to prank a birther because they don’t realise they’re being pranked and most of the time it becomes apart of the birther lexicon. For example the bomford fake, the April fools day foreign student nonsense. Even the articles that were fed to sharon rondeau

  23. RanTalbott says:

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: It’s pointless to prank a birther because they don’t realise they’re being pranked and most of the time it becomes apart of the birther lexicon.

    Well, that depends on what your objective is. If it’s to amuse them, you’re right about it being doomed.

    Otoh, if the goal is to amuse yourself, or to make them look ridiculous, or to sucker them out of a bunch of donation money, it can work out quite well.

    Although it can also end badly: I remain concerned that, when the CCP scam is undeniably exposed, one or more of the suckers will go after Zullo. And, possibly, if they’re unhinged enough to not realize he’s well-guarded, Arpaio.

  24. The Magic M (not logged in) says:

    RanTalbott: I remain concerned that, when the CCP scam is undeniably exposed, one or more of the suckers will go after Zullo.

    Has any birther ever gone after anybody? The worst I’ve heard was harrassment by phone.
    These people are cowards who wouldn’t even pull a gun on an unarmed toddler in the middle of the night, out of fear they might not get away unscathed.

  25. RanTalbott says:

    The Magic M (not logged in): Has any birther ever gone after anybody?

    Not because of birfering, afaik. But I believe it was reported that the guy who shot up the Holocaust Museum in DC was also a birther. I think they only mentioned it to show that he was more than one flavor of conspiracy nut, not because it had anything to do with his motivation.

    Yes, 99.99% of the birther bluster doesn’t even go from online insults to phone harassment. But among the .01% will be a few who’ve invested a substantial (to them) chunk of change in Arpaio’s campaign and/or the CCP because they’re downright rabid about Obama, and they believed they’d see some real results from it. That’s very different from just ranting at faceless stereotyped strangers in a chatroom. That’s personal, and feeling they’ve been betrayed could lead to the same kind of murderous rage that causes people to shoot unfaithful spouses or cheating business partners.

  26. Dave B. says:

    Then there are the sites like American News, Mr. Conservative and The US Patriot that recycle fake stories from those really lame satire sites; although turning to the Weekly World News for material may have been a bridge too far, for at least some of their targeted readers:

    http://theuspatriot.com/2014/04/09/obama-gives-himself-a-pay-raise/

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater: It’s pointless to prank a birther because they don’t realise they’re being pranked and most of the time it becomes apart of the birther lexicon. For example the bomford fake,the April fools day foreign student nonsense. Even the articles that were fed to sharon rondeau

  27. bgansel9 says:

    As Robert Altemeyer explains in The Authoritarians, most authoritarian types are followers who need a leader. It takes a special “Double High” personality to actually lead. Most RWA’s (right wing authoritarians) are cowards at heart. – (Iink to the free book included, PDF file – easy to read, took me just a couple of days):

    http://members.shaw.ca/jeanaltemeyer/drbob/TheAuthoritarians.pdf

  28. jdkinpa says:

    Well I wasn’t convinced about Jade Helm 15, but here are 17, count em 17, videos that have removed the scales of blindness from my eyes and now I am a true believer.

    http://conservativetribune.com/17-videos-martial-law/

    and apologies to brother Saul.

  29. What always strikes me about conspiracy theories is their complete inability to deal wit actual corruption and incompetence. They have no sense for the regular foibles of government, so they have to concoct a fantasy to somehow explain the fact that the world doesn’t really work the way they think it oughtta.

  30. justlw says:

    Laugh if you must, but why was my local Wal-Mart greeter welcoming everyone with “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” today?

  31. jdkinpa says:

    justlw May 8, 2015 at 11:55 pm (Quote) #

    Laugh if you must, but why was my local Wal-Mart greeter welcoming everyone with “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” today?

    Big sale on Ortho-Bug-B-Gon-Insect-Killer-for-Lawns-Gardens-Ready-To-Spray!!??

  32. RanTalbott says:

    That’s definitely suspicious, since Wal-Mart eliminated greeters to save cost.

    Fortunately, Wal-Mart sells both thermometers and guns, so you can take his temperature, and shoot him on the spot if it proves he’s not human.

    If you find out that either is mysteriously out of stock, run like hell.

  33. The Magic M (not logged in) says:

    justlw: Laugh if you must, but why was my local Wal-Mart greeter welcoming everyone with “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” today?

    They usually ask me “ARE YOU THE DOCTOR?” first, then shoot.

  34. I’m reading it now. Thanks for the reference.

    bgansel9:
    As Robert Altemeyer explains in The Authoritarians, most authoritarian types are followers who need a leader. It takes a special “Double High” personality to actually lead. Most RWA’s (right wing authoritarians) are cowards at heart. –(Iink to the free book included, PDF file – easy to read, took me just a couple of days):

    http://members.shaw.ca/jeanaltemeyer/drbob/TheAuthoritarians.pdf

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.