Questions swirl amid claims of double identity
Dateline: Massac County, Illinois, March 2, 2012
This one was totally off the radar. No one seems to have been aware of this obscure case in the Superior Court of Massac County, in Metropolis, Illinois – not Jack Ryan, not Tes and not even The Fogbow.
The challenge is based on claims that Barack Obama was not born in the United States (been there, done that, got the T-shirt). In this complaint the challenger alleges a novel theory to overcome much of the conventional evidence and the high implausibility of a very pregnant Stanley Ann Obama traveling to Kenya to give birth to a child. The argument is that Barack Obama was neither born in Hawaii, nor was he the child of Stanley Ann and Barack Obama Sr., but rather was a foundling, discovered by Stanley Ann’s parents outside their residence at 6085 Kalanianaole Highway in the crash of an (GET THIS) experimental aircraft. This explains, for example, why contemporary photos of Stanley Ann Obama do not indicate that she is pregnant. The newborn Barack Obama was taken immediately to Kapi’olani Hospital and that is why his birth is registered at the hospital (National Center for Health Statistics instructions for Place of birth specify: “If the birth occurred en route, that is in a moving conveyance, type or print the city, town, village, or location where the child was first removed from the conveyance.”)
While I don’t believe the story myself, it is certainly one of the most plausible of the birther scenarios so far. The challenger claims that hard to see pencil marks, that would be visible on the original certified copy of the long-form certificate, show that the actual place of birth was not in the hospital but in a conveyance. Superior Court Judge White was duly impressed, and surprisingly issued a court order to the President for him to produce a certified copy of his birth certificate.
Of course there would seem to be no evidence to support such a fanciful theory to justify even a hearing much less a subpoena, except that the challenger provided the court with some disturbing video footage of the President privately admitting that the Obama’s were not his real parents, and some photos indicating that the President is guilty of maintaining a double identity (personally I believe that these images have been Photoshopped).
Original Birth Certificate settles the issue
According to the hearing transcript obtained by Obama Conspiracy Theories, Chicago attorney Jeffery Leving (pictured right with President Obama) presented the certified long-form birth document to Judge White. The challenger demanded to examine the document, and this is what transpired according to the transcript:
Defense: Your honor, President Obama presents this certified copy of his Birth Certificate from the State of Hawaii as defense Exhibit 1.
Judge White: The Clerk will mark Exhibit 1 as accepted.
Challenger: I demand to examine the document.
Judge White: Clerk, please pass the document to the challenger.
Challenger: There is something wrong with this document. It differs from the one previously released by the White House. The physician’s name appears to have been altered. The released document shows the physician as David A. Sinclair. The last name here is hard to make out. Let me see, uh. It looks like “K L T P Z Y X M.” What the hell is “KLTPZYXM?”
(at this point the challenger disappeared from the court room in a puff of smoke.
Judge White: The case of Mxyzptlk v. Obama is dismissed
This entire article, to me at least, seems completely believable and plausible. I don’t doubt a thing about it – and accept it completely at face value.
At least as plausible at Shurrif Joes presser….. 😎
My Alex Ross Obama shirt makes much more sense now!
Thanks for the laugh and the shot of geek nostagia, Doc!
Something I wondered about when I was reading the comics, and still wonder about; How is the name pronounced? either backwards or forwards there is only one vowel.
Ah, but Metropolis was also the birth place of Mr Steele, and I do not mean the Avenger, but the paratrooper who in 1944 got stuck on the roof of the Cathedral of St Mere Eglise, the church where Eisenhower was supposed to hide the birth certificate of Harry Sergey Truman, the Roosevelts and others.
Which is why Ike wanted control of that church as soon as possible, of course. To hide the fact that they were NOT there.
The plot thickens.
Israel Science and Technology Homepage
Long-Form Birth Certificate of Obama is a Forged Document
This plot could choke a horse. An elephant even. 😉
The Wikipedia article covers both:
The important point here is now the President has presented his birth certificate to a court of law and it has been accepted by the court. So, no longer will the birthers be able to claim that no court has ever seen the BC. Another brick falls by the wayside.
Just in case, this article was a joke (note fiction tag).
That’s what happens when I zip through an article at work…but here’s my question, isn’t all birther stuff a work of fiction?
Oh crap. I gave those folks a piece of my mind.
It’s hard to write this stuff just right. I have to drop enough clues to make someone feel guilty for not having gotten the joke, but not enough clues for them to figure it out. This one probably errs on the side of too few clues. But you folks are so darned clever, that I can’t leave much.
I know Jeffrey Leving as a divorce attorney. I had no idea he also represented President Obama. Kudos to my fellow Illinoisan!
Doc, perhaps try writing a version intended for a birther audience? I bet there’s a hilarious comparison just waiting to be made 😀
PS–I thought you got it just right, but had the advantage of a geeked out, retro upbringing.
Some of Squeeky’s work is spot-on in this regard (like Corsi’s ‘Job Application’). Sometimes you have nothing but a certain… well,… ‘Squeekiness’ to go on. But once you recognize it, it’s perfectly obvious.
I read them the riot act as well. Politely, of course. I said my aim was to prevent them making fools of themselves.
The thing is, this would make the Presudent legitimate per statute, an orphan found patent less and his citizenship unchallenged before adulthood makes him a citizen by birth.
For more in a fictional vein, see this insightful biography of Jerome Corsi:
Yes, that was the big hole in my premise.
As far as I know, he doesn’t really represent Barack Obama. The photo is real, though.
I don’t know if I could dumb it down that much.
In the old days I would accuse someone of smoking wacky terbacky for posting something like this. Knowing you as I think I do I pass it off as boredom with Birther idiocy. Better watch out or I will accuse you of being Squeeky Fromm. 😉
I don’t know how many people are aware of a kind of interesting feature of Snopes — there are a few pages which all have the common distinguishing characteristic of a link labeled “More information about this page“.
I found out about this feature when, a few years back, I was looking at the organizer book that my daughter’s middle school had just handed out to all its students. It included Many Fun True Facts in its margins; one of these was a factoid relating the Completely True story of how the California state flag was originally not supposed to have a bear on it. It was supposed to be the California Pear flag!
I read this little blurb and thought… “naw.” I mean, this only went against everything I knew about the history of our state. Did a Google search, and found the Snopes page. I read it — they said It was true! I thought… “naw.”
Then I spotted and clicked on the More information about this page link.
I immediately sent a message to the school, to the company that published the organizer, and to Barbara Mikkelson. She’s the only one who responded, thanking me for the sighting.
I was hiking down to the post office this morning when I thought of the idea for this article. I don’t recall what the trigger was.
This is not an isolated incident. There are other articles including the very unpopular:
One of my favorites:
and saving the best for last:
You had me fooled to the very end!!! But this is just more synchronicity because . . .oh well, you will see in a couple of days.
I was excited at another birther failure – it’s Monday and I was looking for some comic relief…..then clicked on the first link, and that’s when I knew. I was definitely entertained, so thanks, Dr. Conspiracy.
I never was much into Superman, but I did see every episode of the mid-90s Dean Cain/Teri Hatcher live action TV series “Lois and Clark”. Mister unspellable name was in an episode of that (a Christmas episode to boot I believe) and it was pronounce “Mix-e-us-pit-uh-lick”.
You posted this nearly four weeks early
In time to top up the Think Tank with some April Fuel?
It would in fact be April 1 on ancient Krypton.
As a side note, I notice autocorrect changed my post earlier to “patent less.”. Obviously a reference to the Sovereign Citizens? Every child needs a patent registration, not a birth certificate.
On the plus side, it means Kal-El is eligible to be president.
Birtherstanese doesn’t follow the same rules of grammar as English.
Obama was Born in Kenya….How it could have been done. A very plausible scenario by Cmdr. Charles Kerchner:
A proposed narrative to explain the various seemingly conflicting statements by various people made about Obama’s birth in Kenya and birth records in Hawaii:
Underage U.S. teenager gets pregnant via a significantly older married man and foreign national from Kenya which would have been a very unusual event in 1961.
Mother of teenager is in total shock over the event as would have been many mothers of teenage girls getting pregnant in 1961 and says to her daughter you have ruined your life and will make going to college much harder for yourself and convinces the teenage girl to accept the suggestion of Obama Sr. that she should go to Kenya in the 2nd trimester or early 3rd trimester of her pregnancy with the plan to give up the baby to the Kenyan natural family and relatives of the natural father of the child to be raised in Kenya by them.
Mother travels to Kenya either directly from Hawaii or via Canada. If she was indeed married to Obama Sr. as claimed she would have been able to get a British passport as the wife of a British Subject, Obama Sr. Traveling via Canada would allow her easier access to Kenya since as the spouse of a British Subject she would be flying from one British Commonwealth nation, Canada, to a British Colony. That would make travel to and entry into Kenya much easier. And getting into and out of Canada to and from the USA for an American citizen (the mother) was easy back in 1961.
The Kenyan paternal step-grandmother of the child attends Obama’s birth in Kenyan hospital in Mombasa Kenya and is ready to take custody of the child and raise the child for the foot-loose and fancy-free natural father with multiple wives. [Note: The Kenyan paternal step-grandmother Sarah Obama has stated she was there at the birth of Obama II in Kenya and held him in her arms in Mombasa Hospital and also stated at another time that the President of the United States passed through her hands. The birth in Kenya of Obama II is corroborated by many statements by Kenyan government officials such as the Kenyan Ambassador to the USA who stated on a radio show that Obama was born in Kenya. Also several members of the Kenyan Assembly stated such on the record and it is recorded in the minutes of their Assembly meetings.] After the birth of her child in Kenya, the U.S. teenage mother is supposed to return to Hawaii without her child, or fly directly to Washington State, or fly to Washington State via Vancouver, Canada, leaving the child with the natural father’s family in Kenya and restart her life back in Hawaii and/or in college in Washington State minus the child … and go to college, re-starting her life anew. In 1961, a pregnant teenage girl giving up a child to restart their lives anew was not unusual.
But nature and maternal instincts throws the plan a curve ball. Maternal instincts kick in and mother cannot leave the baby in Kenya, either due to pure maternal instincts or in seeing the poor conditions in Kenya that her child would be raised in with a mostly absentee father over there. Thus she changes her mom’s plan and she takes the baby and Kenyan hospital birth certificate issued by the Mombasa Hospital to the American Embassy or consulate in Kenya and shows them the Kenyan Birth Certificate for her child and “explains” the baby was born unexpectedly in Kenya while there visiting her “husband’s” family. U.S. officials then stamp her passport as traveling with an infant child.
Mother gets on plane or ship carrying the child and travels back to Hawaii and appears at the airport or port upon arrival with the new baby in tow, or to Washington State, or to Vancouver, Canada, and calls her mother in Hawaii telling her what she did, much to the shock of her mother, the child’s U.S. grandmother. Baby easily is passed through U.S. entry officials due to the U.S. Embassy stamp on mother’s passport and the supporting Kenyan birth certificate showing her, a U.S. citizen, is the mother, or Obama’s mom brings him across the border from Vancouver, Canada, to Washington State to start college in the fall of 1961.
The date of arrival back in the USA is on or about 4 Aug 1961. Obama II would likely be a few weeks old by that time putting his real date of birth sometime in mid or early July 1961 in Kenya.
Child’s U.S. grandmother is very much beside herself at this change in plans by her daughter, the mother of the child. The child’s grandmother then knowing or learning from legal advisers how lax Hawaiian birth registration laws were in 1961, then cooks up a plan and scheme with the child’s mother, to lie to Hawaiian officials and swear and sign an affidavit at the birth registry office that the child was born in Hawaii at home on 4 Aug 1961, the circa date of return to the USA and not the real date of birth, with no witnesses but them, in order to get the child U.S. citizenship (a highly desirable status) to make future travel and life easier on the family and new child.
They committed this fraud and lie and cover-up simply to gain U.S. citizenship for the child, a highly coveted status for any child, not knowing that this child might someday grow up and try to become the President and thus risk having their fraud, plans, and lies exposed.
Birth registration office then routinely issues the announcements to the two newspapers, as was the office’s custom at the time, i.e., to send the papers lists of babies birth registrations, of the birth event which at its source was only based on the false sworn testimony of the grandmother or mother. If the mother was not in Hawaii at the time, the grandmother may have even forged Stanley Ann (nee Dunham) Obama’s signature on the affidavit since there is no independent corroborative evidence that Stanley Ann Dunham Obama was even in Hawaii in Aug 1961. There is no record of Stanley Ann Dunham Obama being in HI or anywhere in the USA from circa the very early spring of 1961 until she shows up in Seattle WA with her infant child in late Aug or early Sep 1961. Thus the birth notices in the newspapers are not independent data; they came from the same source, the false sworn statements from the mother and/or grandmother that the child Obama II was born in Hawaii.
Thus under this narrative the birth records in the vaults in Hawaii may be simply sworn affidavits of the mother and grandmother saying Obama was born at home with no witnesses, all based on lies and fraud, which seems to be a common occurrence with Mr. O’s entire life. Obama’s birth may be REGISTERED as having occurred in Hawaii, but he was not physically born there.
In addition a couple years later Obama II may have been legally adopted by Lolo Soetoro in Hawaii (with those records hidden to us like many other records for Obama). Lolo was the 2nd husband of Stanley Ann Dunham Obama. Thus, Obama’s legal name of record in the Hawaiian system is now still Barry Soetoro or Soebarkah, or something else. Thus Obama cannot show the world what Hawaiian authorities are sending him and thus the need to forge and alter document before proffering them to the world via the internet images. Possibly he is quietly and secretly working to have his named changed back to Barack Hussein Obama II in the Hawaii system.
Click on Image to See Larger Copy
When the truth and facts do finally come out, it will be interesting to see how close this suggested narrative using the facts, data, statements, which we now have access to from two sides of the world, which I have analyzed as an experienced genealogist and composed this narrative to fit that data in hand thus far, actually fits the reality of what happened back in the spring and summer of 1961.
It am obvious! Just rewrite the same story, but change the setting to Bizarro World!
I look forward to the daily misadventures of Bizarr O’Bama, our beloved President No. 1 😉
So now you Birthers are simply reduced to writing fan-fic. Sven already had you all beat to that years ago. If you are nice to him, maybe he’ll let you add your implausible fantasies as his Prologue in his “Barry and the Pirates” saga…
But hey, if telling yourself fairy tales is what keeps you from crying every night, go for it…
Now that is precious! According to this birther, teen pregnancy is a new problem!
Read’em and weep, john:
… teen pregnancy peaked in 1959 … and has become less common ever since!
Note this actually works in favor of your silliness … except for the way it scratches up your rose-colored rearview mirror, LOL!
Had me going till nearly the end, though in my defense I don’t have a geek background, so I didn’t recognize any of the references.
However, I do resemble at least one remark: I was (true story!) born on the Golden Gate Bridge at 2 in the morning in the back of my father’s speeding Nash Metropolitan, in a story involving a Thanksgiving turkey, an African voodoo doll and a Mormon priest. But my official POB is Letterman Hospital at the Persidio, that being where, as Doc puts it, I was “removed from the conveyance”.
Oh, for God’s sake, ‘John,’ just put on a white robe, grab a big ol’ cross, and go on down to DC and burn it on the White House lawn already. If I were you, though, I’d leave your “I Hate Naggers and Haf-Breeds” sign in the car-port. Can’t be too careful.
How did John forget to include Malcolm X in his fan-fiction?
Oh, he also forgot the little detail of Dr Sinclair siging. But of course, even Halal Berther kept forgetting that.
The omly birfer who ever explained Dr Sinclair was I.
I’m assuming this story was written before the LFBC was released. Or maybe not.
My favorite part is “Click on Image to See Larger Copy,” because I imagine that will keep any birthers visiting here occupied for hours.
You know those elementary school art assignments where they give the child a piece of paper with a very few lines and dots on it, and have them draw a picture that incorporates them? This is like that, only without the lines and dots.
Just to be painfully clear (the best kind of clear): the above is in reference to CDR’s story, not Doc’s.
Of course, anyone with a brain will immediately realize that it is NOT a detail. Ann and her parents are supposed to have faked a home birth AND to have solicited and probably paid a doctor’s complicity.
As someone once proved here, a child born abroad by a US mother who had only left the uSA recently, was entitled to almost instant naturalization on entering the USA.
We are supposed to believe that they put up this whole charade in order to establish eligibility for the presidency. of the USA. The same USa where a year before, the Democratic electors of two states had refused to vote for JFK because of his viewpoints about racial segregation and nobody had even dared call them unfaithful electors…
This scenario is so fantastic that one doesn’t know where to begin. I’ll just confine myself to one point:
A passport has the date and place of birth of all persons traveling on it. If SAD registered baby Barack’s Kenyan birth with US consular officials in Nairobi so as to could bring him home on her passport, how could she get away with registering a different place and DOB with Hawaii? The Kenyan birth would be recorded in State Department files and a discrepancy would have been noticed the moment Obama applied for a US passport in his own name and put Honolulu as his place of birth. We know he had to have a US passport as early as 1967 to travel to Indonesia.
Not possible the BC specifically says if birth is not a hospital or institution than the address of the place of birth must be listed. The place of birth listed is Kapiolani Hospital. So that means it could not be an at home birth.
I’m also curious how, if she were traveling on a British passport, she would be able to get the *American* consulate in Kenya to stamp her passport. I also kind of wonder how people at home were reacting to the month-old “newborn.”
I looked it up – CDR first wrote this in 2009, and “updated” it a couple of days ago. He explains the LFBC away by referring to the Posse Cat Dolls’ companion fanfic from last week.
The only plausible scenario must involve a Tardis. Just no way out of it.
I didn’t go into this in the article, but the Mxyzptlk scenario also covers this question (as well as MANY others), since Obama (in his secret identity of Superman) is capable of time travel.
C’mon, guys, that was hysterical! no? Tough room.
I just google Bizarro Obama …. many interesting results … Rick Perry is Bizarro Obama, Herman Cain is Bizarro Obama, Obama is Bizarro FDR … Bizarro World: Karl Rove Criticizes Outsourcing of Afghanistan …
Top Google hit for Bizarr O’bama is …. this thread. Better go file a trademark now ….